Death Stranding - Hideous Kojumbo does it again

[Jace on ice]

"I am tired of all these motherfucking Death Strandings!" ~ John Death Stranding.

 

[Chapalapachapa]

i see master storyteller hideo kojimbo went from a dude who shits himself to a woman who vomits all over herself. this represents the totally serious topic of war, gun control and 80s movies from who he stole his best bits

 

[wtfNeedSignUp]

Near the end, will try to finish today. Reedus finally discovered Lou is dead, and it's shown as a twist, despite the viewer already knowing it 25 hours ago. My only guess is that it was originally supposed to be a secret from the player, but Kojima cucked out because he knew he'll get criticism for pulling a dead baby twist.

 

[Miller]

The game said the "Women most affected in war" retarded sentence. It's not necessarily wrong in the past, when the losing side women get raped en masse (though it depends on if the male population isn't slaughtered in turn). But for modern military conflicts it's absolutely disgusting piece of propaganda, regurgitated by men who will never fight for their country.

It's also a Hillary Clinton quote.

i see master storyteller hideo kojimbo went from a dude who shits himself to a woman who vomits all over herself. this represents the totally serious topic of war, gun control and 80s movies from who he stole his best bits

Kojimbo is the Tommy Wiseau of gaming.

 

[Gimmick Account]

Near the end, will try to finish today. Reedus finally discovered Lou is dead, and it's shown as a twist, despite the viewer already knowing it 25 hours ago. My only guess is that it was originally supposed to be a secret from the player, but Kojima cucked out because he knew he'll get criticism for pulling a dead baby twist.

I'm still confused about why he was getting brand new Niel Vaga flashbacks when plugging into the pod. Seems like Dollman can see them too and is like "what the fuck was that" at first. Then everyone forgets about this. Messing with the player is fine but that just completely undercuts that whole sequence, never mind every other character looking at Bridgeman like he's crazy for the whole game like you said.

It's also a Hillary Clinton quote.

I want to think spiritual cunt karen heaven was meant to be some meta on-the-nose shit but it doesn't help that the girl power bitch brigade back on your ship also have zero charisma.

...man, you wouldn't think I actually kinda liked this stupid fucking game.

 

[Deus Exica]

Saw a lot of conflicting things about how killing everyone in a bandit camp actually works so I went to Mexico, slaughtered the first camp, and burnt the bodies. Gonna see if they respawn or not.

 

[Wesker]

So what's going to be the excuse when this only gets a pity nomination for GOTY and it goes to Expedition 33?

 

[Chapalapachapa]

They are totally giving this shit the award

 

[Glory To Arztotska]

deaf strangling
dearth stunting
deft stumbling

 

[Chapalapachapa]

Tommy Wiseau of gaming.

my boy tommy wishes he could write something as shitty as metal gear solid 4

 

[Lone MacReady II]

Near the end, will try to finish today. Reedus finally discovered Lou is dead, and it's shown as a twist, despite the viewer already knowing it 25 hours ago. My only guess is that it was originally supposed to be a secret from the player, but Kojima cucked out because he knew he'll get criticism for pulling a dead baby twist.

The fact that Koji shows a dead baby on screen shows his desperation and lack of tact. The worst of the worst Silent Hill games tried to up the drama and show dead kids/kids getting killed. It's so trashy and unsubtle. I can see Koji screaming, "Feeeeeeeeeer Feeeeeer something prayer, prease Feeeeeeeeeeeeer something!" yuck.

Dollman

There isn't a doll character named Dollman. That cannot be... That's no different than the parody names people we were coming up with here. That's..... damnit Kojima......

So what's going to be the excuse when this only gets a pity nomination for GOTY and it goes to Expedition 33?

Koji is still getting his after show bj from Dorito Pope.

 

[wtfNeedSignUp]

Finished it. It could be summed as two words, Self-Indulgent. Which in Kojima terms it really says something.

Gameplay wise it's the same as 1 but pretty much betraying every idea that 1 had through its gameplay to appeal to the players. Fighting enemies is required and the game throws a ton of weaponry for you, don't worry it's all rubber bullets, nobody ever died from those. And using rockets is okay because it's special sleeping rockets, but against robots those suddenly do real damage! The empty world now has a ton of other people and you never need to do something besides token assistance to connect different areas, so there's no real tension and feeling of desolation. Traversal itself is a cinch, who needs to actually prepare when you can ride a flying skateboard the entire map? Why the fuck do we need Reedus when the technology is hilariously advanced?

It just loses a lot of uniqueness and challenge. I never needed to use a repair spray after the start of the game. Concepts like strong wind literally didn't show up until the end of the game. I just went straight most of the times and that was enough, BT and armed locations do not pose any challenge and you can just walk through them after you get used to it.

The first game felt like a journey, you go to new places and meet new people. This game felt like a hipster organized tour where you travel by bus with the same douchbags, spending the night in your own fancy caravan rather than a local inn/hostel. I don't remember any person from it, besides the Pizza Chef and Pekora.

Australia isn't bad, but it's just plain and sanitized, no urban locations, or memorable places, feels too much video-gamey with Sand/Snow/Swamp levels.

And the ending was just meh. The final fight with tranny top surgery scar shirtless Jesus Higgs while both of you are wielding battle guitars is beyond a parody, and not even in a funny way, it doesn't even feel like there was any point in the whole journey, the main plot just solves itself. At least the final fight in MGS4 was built up over 4 games, but Kojima couldn't control himself, and Sony did not bring any tard wranglers to save the plot. The fight against discount Grey Fox was shit as well, after having the entire game hype you to it, and having a cutscene mecha battle you can't participate in is just shitty game design.

And that ending took fucking ages, you can complete MGS1 in the time. No skippable credits (before the ones listing the not important people) was also complete bullshit. You could cut most of it and just imply it and it would have been enough. The whole rivalry with Neil Vanha was literally him being furious you cucked him. I'm not even joking.

There was a twist that an obvious bad guy was bad, and a twist where a guy I didn't care for showed up, following a dance number for no fucking point. Also that fucking like went beyond charming and is just gay and tired.

The women in the game are just so boring and token, and Reedus does not interact at all with them which really fucks the whole character moments and plot developments. Really feels like he wanted to get out of the studio before Kojima rapes him so he is barely doing anything in the game.

The funny thing it could have been so much better, at least with the "dead" baby twist by just having the baby dead before the game even starts, keeping it inside the case, and justifying by saying it's related to the still fetus situation. Which might have salvaged some of the plot. Also the revelation about the baby being Reedus' only makes the bond between the two seem cheaper. It being a random child and Reedus being the special one was a pretty good twist in the first game, and they fuck it all up.

I don't remember any more political sperging, which I don't know if it's good or bad, because the end stretch really tested my patience with how boring the game got. The first 2/3 are alright, but once you get to the mountain the plot and traversal just get more annoying than fun/funny.

Edit:
Forgot to mention that for the billionth time, it's Evangelion Instrumentality villain plot. It's the most tired shit in Japanese media.

 

[Wesker]

It could be summed as two words, Self-Indulgent

He just wanted to hang out with celebs he ripped off.

 

[Gimmick Account]

I dunno where you faggots got this "becoming Amelie"/tranny Higgs thing.
Why does the guy with Heath Ledger KISS makeup and a goofy demon armour bodysuit, playing a double guitar, show up with long hair? Why would the guy who has dedicated his existence to revenge and spends the whole game torturing the main character by shoving the deaths of his loved ones in his face choose blonde of all colours while he was browsing at hell's wig shoppe for the last ten thousand years?
Gosh... I can't think of a reason... since I am perhaps... a fucking moron...

There isn't a doll character named Dollman. That cannot be...

At least this time we get to see a scene where Fragile just unilaterally gives him the name, so we don't have to wonder anymore if they're all just crazy coincidences.
And at one point a character returning from the first game seems to suggest his is a sobriquet too. So maybe she's personally responsible for all of them and just canonically really sucks ass at nicknames.

 

[Jace on ice]

I dunno where you faggots got this "becoming Amelie"/tranny Higgs thing.
Why does the guy with Heath Ledger KISS makeup and a goofy demon armour bodysuit, playing a double guitar, show up with long hair? Why would the guy who has dedicated his existence to revenge and spends the whole game torturing the main character by shoving the deaths of his loved ones in his face choose blonde of all colours while he was browsing at hell's wig shoppe for the last ten thousand years?
Gosh... I can't think of a reason... since I am perhaps... a fucking moron...

Yea I don't know if people are meming or what but I don't understand the "Higgs is a tranny!" now either.

Between using an electric guitar as a weapon and the corpse paint/heavy makeup it just seems to me to be a KISS reference or just a reference to 80s hair/glam metal in general

I know this sounds rich coming from a known political sperg but not every tiny thing is a part of the woke conspiracy guys.

 

[Xerxes IX]

Some of the more obnoxious discourse I've seen around Kojima and DS2 now is mostly about how his "horniness is much more natural than fan service gooners because he actually likes real women". Most of these people saying that were in middle school when MGS V came out and the people now in their mid-40’s that were calling Kojima a rapist over Quiet's appearance back then are more than happy to memory hole that. I remember that "QuietGate" period pretty well and the people who wanted to cancel him for good over that and it's insane how many of those people now in addition to glazing Death Stranding 2 are trying to retcon Kojima as a Wholesome Chungus Woman Enjoyer.

Not only are progs acting like Kojima was never hated from there side because he was "redeemed" they're also acting like no one ever hated MGS4 and it wasn't seen as a step down. I almost can't blame them because it's in their nature, not only do they have goldfish memories they have to constantly recalculate everything to line with Current Year because the culture war demands it. Kojima is now "theirs" so he's never done anything wrong.

But lol he's got a troon and a vtuber in his games separately, how long until a tranny vtuber shows up

 

[wtfNeedSignUp]

I dunno where you faggots got this "becoming Amelie"/tranny Higgs thing.

Personally I didn't really see it, but it's just funny to repeat since it adds to the ridiculousness of the final confrontation.

The tattoos being right where the top surgery scars are is pretty hilarious though

 

[Miller]

But lol he's got a troon and a vtuber in his games separately, how long until a tranny vtuber shows up

Anal Violence will finally be famous.

 

[Pomniman]

deaf strangling
dearth stunting
deft stumbling

TERF Glanding

 

[SIMIΔN]

And that ending took fucking ages, you can complete MGS1 in the time. No skippable credits (before the ones listing the not important people) was also complete bullshit. You could cut most of it and just imply it and it would have been enough. The whole rivalry with Neil Vanha was literally him being furious you cucked him. I'm not even joking.

My biggest problem with the first game.

Gameplay wise it's the same as 1 but pretty much betraying every idea that 1 had through its gameplay to appeal to the players. Fighting enemies is required and the game throws a ton of weaponry for you, don't worry it's all rubber bullets, nobody ever died from those. And using rockets is okay because it's special sleeping rockets, but against robots those suddenly do real damage! The empty world now has a ton of other people and you never need to do something besides token assistance to connect different areas, so there's no real tension and feeling of desolation. Traversal itself is a cinch, who needs to actually prepare when you can ride a flying skateboard the entire map? Why the fuck do we need Reedus when the technology is hilariously advanced?

It just loses a lot of uniqueness and challenge. I never needed to use a repair spray after the start of the game. Concepts like strong wind literally didn't show up until the end of the game. I just went straight most of the times and that was enough, BT and armed locations do not pose any challenge and you can just walk through them after you get used to it.

The only things I liked about the first game.