Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 18 1.3%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.5%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.7%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 3.2%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 18.6%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 195 14.1%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 787 56.8%

  • Total voters
    1,385
Eh, he might be right on that one. The director already said the movie will be political and insulted people who criticized this decision; historically, that strategy has not produced good results.

If Jack weren't a porridge-brained idiot, this'd be a decently fundamented hypothesis. The argument behind this xeet, however, is likely closer to "SUPAHMAN NO LOOKY GUD".
Theoretically no matter what, Jack may contribute to giving it money given this tweet of his this morning where he reposted a mortal kombat fatality on Superman which may indicate he may watch it to hate on it, but he'd still give $$$ (Reminder he's done this before with Snow White this year which had more controversy)

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Theoretically no matter what, Jack may contribute to giving it money given this tweet of his this morning where he reposted a mortal kombat fatality on Superman which may indicate he may watch it to hate on it, but he'd still give $$$ (Reminder he's done this before with Snow White this year which had more controversy)

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Well it sounds like his mind is made up…..


He’s basically grudgewatching it so he can be happily miserable. Completely predictable unhealthy Jack behavior.
 
Well it sounds like his mind is made up…..


He’s basically grudgewatching it so he can be happily miserable. Completely predictable unhealthy Jack behavior.
Yeah and his reviews when he's not angry are like hearing from a special needs kid cause he loved the latest Jurassic slop

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Before I got strict about where I ate, my friends and I would go from church to church sampling all the fish fries during Lent. Fish fry would be a contender for my death row meal. Just ate dinner and could still pound a plate of fish fry if I smelled it.
When it's done properly a nice plate of fish and chips is a thing of beauty.

Has Jack ever eaten a proper salad? I don’t mean a Midwestern/southern “salad” of mayo plus junk. I mean a glorious, green, leafy salad with lots of lush vegetables and other produce. It’s cheering to think he’s never known such pleasure.
Posted this before but it bears repeating. This is his concept of a salad:

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Few veggies and just drowned in dressing.

Fuck this man is a moron.

I'm partial to a Pittsburgh salad (along with other food from the area), but nothing beats a nice leafy green salad. Some black pepper is nice as well.
I'll be the first to admit that a wedge salad is tasty as fuck. But I'll also say it's lacking in any real form of nutrition. It's an occasional indulgence.

He’s basically grudgewatching it so he can be happily miserable. Completely predictable unhealthy Jack behavior.
That and the excuse to eat a bucket of popcorn.
 
using speech to text software to do shitty movie reviews, actual 0 effort. Then again can he even type now?
Keyboard, probably never again. I don't know how it is on iPhones but on my galaxy phone with Gboard (or the stock Samsung keyboard, I guess) you can use glide typing. Only requires one thumb (and thus, one hand). I've seen some people stare in awe at it. It's perfect 99% of the time, but won't work on passwords, logins, etc.

Given how many mistakes he makes with the written word I'm guessing he's barking at his phone for everything. I wonder if he can still write (legibly) on paper? The average right handed person gets their right hand paralyzed, I'd imagine they learn to become left handed. It'd take time but they'd put in the effort because writing is a lifelong necessity.

Jack though...
 
Keyboard, probably never again. I don't know how it is on iPhones but on my galaxy phone with Gboard (or the stock Samsung keyboard, I guess) you can use glide typing. Only requires one thumb (and thus, one hand). I've seen some people stare in awe at it. It's perfect 99% of the time, but won't work on passwords, logins, etc.

Given how many mistakes he makes with the written word I'm guessing he's barking at his phone for everything. I wonder if he can still write (legibly) on paper? The average right handed person gets their right hand paralyzed, I'd imagine they learn to become left handed. It'd take time but they'd put in the effort because writing is a lifelong necessity.

Jack though...
He's strictly speech to text and he gurgles his words so much and doesn't care about correcting it that he just gets more and more incomprehensible as time goes on.
 
Yeah and his reviews when he's not angry are like hearing from a special needs kid cause he loved the latest Jurassic slop

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Someone should question Jack on the existence of dinosaurs. And how he can be ok with how they are portrayed in the moobie.

How could dinosaurs have lived 6 gorillion years ago if the earth is only like 5000 years old?


Also, the movie did have a political agenda. Corporations bad! Ozempic Johansen’s character decided to give the Dino medicine to open source (so gatekeepers still get rich in it) rather than get her $10M reward. Ergo….healthcare should be free. Which Jack cries about as libruhl and wolk and commie, despite crying over a $100 Emergency dept copay.
 
jack does some catholic bashing to legitimize southern bible thumping that his snake handling speaking-in-tounges retard sect is superior to the holy Roman Catholic Church. Par for course for these silly literalists.

Jack also btfo by the pastor on salmonella and more subtle trolling.

Jack is just looking for an excuse to eat more gud meets during lent. He’s personally offended by the mosst minor of fasts….eating a mcfish for lunch 4-5 fridays every year.

Hold on to your seats foodjacks!



I’d also like to highlight that Jack talks about circumcising boys in detail. Jack and his Jesus friend determine that “what god really meant” (is this literalism?) is that you can eat meat on fridays during lent because the J’s were wrong, but you still have to snip functional foreskins off of unsuspecting boys because the j’s were right about this one.
I want to go through this but I don't have the time right now/might not tonight. But 6 minutes in they don't know who Athanasius the Confessor or John Chrysostom are, and can't pronounce either's name.
They spend about 15 minutes shitting on Catholics and how the early church councils are actually entirely illegitimate and have no bearing on real gud Christians even though those councils are where the entire New Testament was codified. Of course they don't actually know that and are probably also ignorant to the fact that the Hebrew bible the Protestant Old Testament is based off of is younger than and based off the Greek Old Testament of the Nicene Churches.

They also don't know what Nicea is or what the council actually was and bring up Constantine as if that's some sort of own against Catholics.

Jack's friend says that Peter's Vision in Acts 10 actually has nothing to do with food, and Jack agrees that Christians are not allowed to eat blood and his friend reinforces this by cherrypicking Acts 15 (while accusing others of cherrypicking around it), which only applied to converts at the time and not people born or brought into established Christian communities. They do this because they're ignoring the context of the time because "muh sola scriptura".

They go through the verse that gives justification for fasting on certain days, Jack seems shocked that this verse (and several disconnected ones ironically cherrypicked from the same book) exists, uses it as an excuse to stuff his face and doesn't realize he's a hypocrite for saying "everything's good but you don't want to make your brother stumble, so if what you're eating causes your brother to stumble, don't do it." His friend doesn't understand the proscription on "unclean" animals is because of those animals' lifestyle and seems to think it was some sort of evil Jewish control tradition, but also the kosher laws were never done away with? I really don't get the obsession and pass these people give Israel. Don't eat pork in front of Jews, but you can mock Catholics for fasting during Lent, that's the big takeaway.

Jack thinks that doing away with the requirement on circumcision means that Lent shouldn't exist even though Lent is done in emulation of Jesus' forty days in the desert and could have only been celebrated after the crucifixion.

Jack's friend uses Colossians 2:14 to cheekily argue that no manmade laws apply to salvation, even though Jesus passed authority to the disciples. "The Pharisees wanted to kill Him not because He was violating the law of Moses but because He was violating their tradition" in reference to the Pharisees because these retards love equating the Catholic Church with the Pharisees. Even though the Catholic Church does not use the Pharisee canon but Protestants do, and all modern Jews that these Evangelical types love come from the Pharisees.

His friend says that Christians don't have to keep kosher but because God told to the Jews that those animals were unclean he doesn't want to partake in them, says that Christians are "grafted into the Jewish tree". He says that keeping kosher is emulating Jesus and that you should "work toward your own salvation with fear and trembling". Jack asks if it's a salvation issue, his friend can't give a straight answer because he's a self-interpreting jerkoff.

Jack uses the bible to justify his secret alcohol problem.

It ends abruptly with Jack begging for engagement, the video only has over 100 views because I've clicked on it 3 times.
 
Jack: No, and I always say, that woman -- she couldn't cook, she was struggling, but we always had meat to eat. We always had meat on the table. Like steak --

Jim: No, we didn't.

Jack: Yeah, we did.

Jim: No, we didn't.

Jack: Yeah, we did!

Jim: Sometimes we had pasta because we couldn't afford meat, Jack.

Jack: Right, but we would put chicken in it --

This has been living rent free in my head for 2 weeks and I keep coming back to it. His sentiment isn't "There was always food on the table", it's "We had BEEF."

I always figured Jacks meat obsession was played up, maybe just making fun of how much of a glutton he is. Giant American serving sizes and big cuts of meat at every meal. Ha ha, fat man is very fat. But no, it's literally a part of his identity. If you're eating meat, you're succeeding in life. He's willing to rewrite or misremember his own childhood because of how food insecure he was and how important the Meat of Success is to him.
 
Jack would worship a slab of meat if you told him it was God.
I’ve got a slab of meat that has caused lots people to become suddenly deeply religious


This has been living rent free in my head for 2 weeks and I keep coming back to it. His sentiment isn't "There was always food on the table", it's "We had BEEF."

I always figured Jacks meat obsession was played up, maybe just making fun of how much of a glutton he is. Giant American serving sizes and big cuts of meat at every meal. Ha ha, fat man is very fat. But no, it's literally a part of his identity. If you're eating meat, you're succeeding in life. He's willing to rewrite or misremember his own childhood because of how food insecure he was and how important the Meat of Success is to him.
I can’t fathom not being able to enjoy a bowl of fresh bucatini with a nice simple marinara sauce, a simple garden tomato and cucumber salad, or some simple rice paper, vermicelli, basil, carrot, spring rolls without getting antsy about who is eating the gud meets that are not in my plate. The simplest and freshest foods and the most rewarding. You think this guy has ever had the pleasure of eating a oyster just plucked from the sea without deep frying it in a pile of malthodextrine?

This sloppy fat wop doesn’t deserve gud meets let alone the air he gurgles.
 
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I always figured Jacks meat obsession was played up, maybe just making fun of how much of a glutton he is. Giant American serving sizes and big cuts of meat at every meal. Ha ha, fat man is very fat. But no, it's literally a part of his identity.
Jack would worship a slab of meat if you told him it was God.
There's a reason I used to mock Jack by calling Ribs his god, and that little segment is the best example of my reasoning. He's absolutely obsessed with meat simply because as a kid he was told "NO JACK WE DON'T HAVE ANY BEEF FOR THE SPAGHETTI SAUCE!"

Which really does explain why Mama Scalfani would get the turkey necks, and actually reframes that to her getting the cheapest cuts of meat just to get the fat tub of entitled shit she was raising to shut the fuck up.
I can’t fathom not being able to enjoy a bowl of fresh bucatini with a nice simple marinara sauce, a simple garden tomato and cucumber salad, or some simple rice paper, vermicelli, basil, carrot, spring rolls without getting antsy about who is eating the gud meets that are not in my plate. The simplest and freshest foods and the most rewarding. You think this guy has ever had the pleasure of eating a oyster just plucked from the sea without deep frying it in a pile of malthodextrine?

This sloppy fat wop doesn’t deserve gud meets let alone the air he gurgles.
It's a miserable experience indeed. I love dal, which only has ghee as its animal component. I also love zampienkanka, whose filling for the bread is a mushroom/onion/cheese mix you can fry in veggie oil.

Hell, this motherfucker unironically eats sandwiches sideways because he delusionally thinks bread has no flavor, even though he desperately recreates it poorly each time with egg shit.

Dude's a clown, simple as.
 
Hell, this motherfucker unironically eats sandwiches sideways because he delusionally thinks bread has no flavor, even though he desperately recreates it poorly each time with egg shit.
He eats sandwiches like he's blowing the most gigantic black cock he could find. He can't even keep the sandwich from spewing sauce all over his fat face. Any time this fat faggot eats something, he rams it in its entirety into his gay esophagus, spewing sauce all over himself like bukkake.
 
Don't eat pork in front of Jews, but you can mock Catholics for fasting during Lent, that's the big takeaway.
Jews don’t give a shit what non-Jews eat. Non-Jews are not bound by the same commandments we are. Jack is a fucking moron and his ignorance wouldn’t be so offensive if he didn’t pair it with so much unearned arrogance.
 
Jews don’t give a shit what non-Jews eat. Non-Jews are not bound by the same commandments we are. Jack is a fucking moron and his ignorance wouldn’t be so offensive if he didn’t pair it with so much unearned arrogance.
Religions who don't view the habits of people who do not adhere to their particular precepts as a direct attack on their OWN spirituality are always morally and ethically preferable to those that do, and Jack has never fallen into this category.
 
Religions who don't view the habits of people who do not adhere to their particular precepts as a direct attack on their OWN spirituality are always morally and ethically preferable to those that do, and Jack has never fallen into this category.
Jews also don’t think a person has to be Jewish to go to heaven. It’s one of the many reasons we don’t proselytize. I’m very exhausted by all the misinformation being presented as fact about “what Jews believe” but if anyone deserves to go to the hell Jack believes in it’s Jack. I should avoid this thread until he fucking dies.
 
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