Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 18 1.3%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.5%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.7%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 3.2%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 18.7%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 194 14.0%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 784 56.8%

  • Total voters
    1,381
They spend about 15 minutes shitting on Catholics and how the early church councils are actually entirely illegitimate and have no bearing on real gud Christians even though those councils are where the entire New Testament was codified. Of course they don't actually know that and are probably also ignorant to the fact that the Hebrew bible the Protestant Old Testament is based off of is younger than and based off the Greek Old Testament of the Nicene Churches.

They also don't know what Nicea is or what the council actually was and bring up Constantine as if that's some sort of own against Catholics.
There is this but most of the time when I hear these people badmouth the Catholics it's going back to the time of the Reformation and Martin Luther. Or they just complain that "Jesus never mentioned that somebody should be the head of the church" or something. Basically what these people actually know about Catholicism can fit into a thimble.

This has been living rent free in my head for 2 weeks and I keep coming back to it. His sentiment isn't "There was always food on the table", it's "We had BEEF."

I always figured Jacks meat obsession was played up, maybe just making fun of how much of a glutton he is. Giant American serving sizes and big cuts of meat at every meal. Ha ha, fat man is very fat. But no, it's literally a part of his identity. If you're eating meat, you're succeeding in life. He's willing to rewrite or misremember his own childhood because of how food insecure he was and how important the Meat of Success is to him.
This is actually quite common with people who grew up poor. Meat was a sign of success and wealth and if you could afford to have meat on the dinner table every day it meant you were well off. So much so that they'll literally say, "it doesn't feel like dinner if there's no meat".
 
Basically what these people actually know about Catholicism can fit into a thimble.
That seems to apply to whatever he considers his own religion to be and also any religion he ever runs his mouth about. I’m not watching any of this shit because seeing Jack Scalfani fatsplain what Hebrew and Aramaic quotes are “really saying” would make me too MATI. It’s bad enough when other ignoramuses do it but Jack would be a bridge too far.
 
Looking at purchased items off of jack jr jrs baby registry. I wonder what troll bought this? Who puts this shit on a baby registry. Bri is also a retard apparently.
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Jack, that slogan had been changed years before Gunn had signed onto Superman. Also if someone believes America has lost its values, why'd they put "the american way" into a superhero's slogan, like what would America be? Blind patriotism

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Reminder this idiot thinks that the government faked the moonlanding yet can somehow make these weather machines that can screw over the weather

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Jack still malding about NYC

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Jack acts like God wants people to blindly follow the laws of their country, even though many saints or Jesus himself have always followed the law and never got arrested ever

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Jack don't kid yourself when you'd probably love Disney Bibleslop

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More influencer advice

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Reminder this idiot thinks that the government faked the moonlanding yet can somehow make these weather machines that can screw over the weather
Yeah but those are two completely different things. It's like how Biden could be absolutely senile and a Machiavellian Chessmaster at the same time. It's all down to how you look at a specific thing at this moment and only this moment.

So we couldn't have gone to the Moon but we somehow have the technology to change the weather. If only there was a simpler explanation like... oh I don't know... "climate change" but no. That's crazy talk. We can't affect the weather at all... hold on... dammit.

Jack, that slogan had been changed years before Gunn had signed onto Superman. Also if someone believes America has lost its values, why'd they put "the american way" into a superhero's slogan, like what would America be? Blind patriotism

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Reminder this idiot thinks that the government faked the moonlanding yet can somehow make these weather machines that can screw over the weather

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Jack still malding about NYC

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Jack acts like God wants people to blindly follow the laws of their country, even though many saints or Jesus himself have always followed the law and never got arrested ever

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Jack don't kid yourself when you'd probably love Disney Bibleslop

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More influencer advice

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Everything from this man is just pure retardedness.
 
Between the various topics Jack uses the dictation feature on his phone to croak with presumed authority about (e.g., cooking, theology, film criticism, counting a whole box of nails, space lasers that control the weather, and content creation as a profession), I wonder which he knows least about. His habitual contrarianism he qualifies by telling people who take the bait to "do their own research" doesn't count - I'm referring to the subjects he regularly lords over strangers, as though he has authority over anything more than the mouth-end of his digestive tract.

I also wonder which would be funnier: Continuing the "content creation mentorship" LARP until he's dead, or announcing a hiatus/retirement from it. That the guy who can't adjust his own wheelchair brakes, follow the plot of a feature-length children's cartoon, or tell the truth about what he's eating has no business advising anybody - in any area - makes me wish he would self-publish another book on the subject of being a successful content creator. If not, we should write one for him; complete with a page that is blank aside from the word "onion" and the number 5.
 
This is actually quite common with people who grew up poor. Meat was a sign of success and wealth and if you could afford to have meat on the dinner table every day it meant you were well off. So much so that they'll literally say, "it doesn't feel like dinner if there's no meat".

This almost spoils the lolcow milk for me. My contempt for him as a person is dangerously drifting in to pity territory.
 
These people turning to JACK SCALFANI for religious guidance are fucking hopeless. But nice of Jack to confirm he is completely ignorant of literally millennia of theological debate about the extent to which dina d'malchuta dina applies.

The Aramaic phrase means “the law of the land is the law.” It is widely held to specifically regard taxes, and includes not e.g. patronizing businesses whose owners you know do not pay their taxes, as you would be assisting him in both breaking the law of the land and transgressing Torah law. The debates are extremely interesting because of questions pertaining to how far they extend when living under e.g. totalitarian rule.

Of course Jack just declares there is no room for discussion or debate because he is completely ignorant of his own religion and its foundations. So we can be sure he’s never gone even one mile over the speed limit, right?
 
These people turning to JACK SCALFANI for religious guidance are fucking hopeless. But nice of Jack to confirm he is completely ignorant of literally millennia of theological debate about the extent to which dina d'malchuta dina applies.
His religious videos get less views than his normal ones and zero comments, I wouldn't be worried about anyone getting theology from Jack.
 
His religious videos get less views than his normal ones and zero comments, I wouldn't be worried about anyone getting theology from Jack.
I mean anyone who does is beyond help. I’m just amazed they exist. I can only be stupidly optimistic and hope they’re yanking his chain.
 
I hope it happens on a live stream.
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If it happens live on stream, it'll be during a chimpout, maybe when he livestreams himself trying to negotiate his fast food order with some poor wagie or his internet bill increase with the dotheads in an outsourced call center.

Preview of his on-air stroke:



His religious videos get less views than his normal ones and zero comments, I wouldn't be worried about anyone getting theology from Jack.
He could be moderating comments, but I'm actually willing to bet his side videos are just that boring that not even trolls will bite. I mean, what is there for weens to even shitpost about. Jack being an idiot about religion. What else is new. His F as in Faggot podcast? Jack being an idiot about current events, dime a dozen shitposting. His JoTG videos? You can only say "stop being a retard in public" so many times. Though it is fun.

His cooking videos, at least there's something to poke fun at or genuinely criticize.
 
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