Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

[Cactuar King]

Jesus Christ every single time I come into this thread and check in Pat, I see a picture of him that reminds me of how fucking huge and fat his gigantic head is. It’s like a cartoon how large it is, sitting on top of a smaller (but still fat) body

"No, Irken-smeet, my head is not the size of a hippo, these are simply your alien delusions again. Enjoy Foodcourtia, failed Invader."

 

[John_Smith]

Does Festina make their own movements? Can't find what movement is in there. I guess if they're gonna do open heart dial it's not going to be one of the standard Seiko or Miyota ones.

At one point they sourced their movements from Soprod, which is Swiss. We all wish Piggy's watch had a low end Miyota automatic movement. Whirrr! Whirrr! My but your watch is annoyingly noisy, Mr. Pig.

Tourbillons are useful on wall clocks, and just decoration on wrist watches. The human wearing the watch is the tourbillon.

Has Piggy mentioned why he hasn't bought a Samsung Galaxy watch to go with his fold phone? What kind of geek is he anyway, not keeping up with the latest tech? I bet it's all the built in fitness information. No way Piggy could tolerate that. Step count, heart rate, and whatever else the Samsung watches do. I don't know. Stress level, something about gaits, maybe stairs climbed. Calories burned, and activity minutes? Piggy would keep accusing the watch of lying about how active he is, and what shit for shape he is in. Either that or his trotters are too fat to use such a small touch screen

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Has anyone found the t-shirt Niki is wearing in that glamor shot of the two pigs from MKE? The top text spells out GAY but it doesn’t look like the bottom reads PRIDE. Google Lens was useless at finding it. I need to know just how fucking stupid that shirt is.

 

[Something Awful]

Anyone can be American! Now get the fuck out of here, you piece of shit, you're not a Real American!



"Or in my basement."

 

[Entomologist]

Fucking hell. This is my favorite fucking thread but some of yall are nearly as bitchmade as Rick hisself. He aint autistic, he aint sociopathic, he aint retarded, he aint got NPD, or BPD, or any of the other bullshit yall zoomer bitches like to sperg out about.

Fat Rick is simple. He's a fat dumb closeted mommas boy faggot drunkard with bitchtits. Thats it. He lies for the same reason children do, he thinks people believe him. His lies change because he's stupid and he cant remember what lies he told before. There is no mystery to solve, no case to crack. He is exactly what he appears to be and he hasn't been beaten to death because he lives in the most civilised country in the world.

Thats it.

Angry, drunken spergs are a dime a dozen online, and none of them are a fraction as entertaining as our Pig. If his fatness and his alcoholism were the only things Rick had going for him, this thread wouldn't even exist. Pat stands out specifically because his patterns of behaviour are so comically ridiculous, and because he never learns a thing from his woes. Armchair analysis is fun. There are only so many ways that you can comment on Patrick being fat; the thread would get stale as we wait on the conclusion of his lolsuit with the MPD.

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"Real Americans will chew you up and spit you out."

Patrick is getting worse at concealing his horrible cannibalistic tendencies from the world. I fear that it is only a matter of time before a dreadful and gruesome discovery is made.

 

[HP Lovecraft's Cat's Name]

There are only so many ways that you can comment on Patrick being fat;

And yet, I believe this is the first I've heard about this. Wonderful observation sir! It does appear that Patrick Tomlinson is indeed heavyset. One more thing we can all share a chuckle about.

 

[Summer of George]

Has anyone found the t-shirt Niki is wearing in that glamor shot of the two pigs from MKE? The top text spells out GAY but it doesn’t look like the bottom reads PRIDE. Google Lens was useless at finding it. I need to know just how fucking stupid that shirt is.

I haven't found the shirt, but I'm guessing it reads "SAY THEIR NAMES". The embedded names belong to all the aspiring basketball stars who have been pepperonified by the Milwaukee Police over the years.

Also, Cathedral Square sucks and only drunk losers hang out there.

 

[Something Awful]

Tis a twerk in progress. Just drop any face you wish me to add to the collection and I will eventually get round to it

Maybe not exactly a Rickface, as you need to include the entire torso for the full effect.

I haven't found the shirt, but I'm guessing it reads "SAY THEIR NAMES". The embedded names belong to all the aspiring basketball stars who have been pepperonified by the Milwaukee Police over the years.

a


I wonder if Patrick "Actual Tough Guy" Tomlinson felt legitimately threatened by these Black adolescents, or if he was just trying to get some new names for Niki's shirt.

 

[Halbschwanz]

"Or in my basement."

If only Toilet S. Toiletson were here to provide his anguished input...

 

[Judge Holden]

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pig face 18.png

Full catalogue thus far is this


By end of today should be able to have a couple of the other submissions added, unless I get bored or forget or hit burnout and vanish from the thread anuddah month

 

[Meriasek]

We all wish Piggy's watch had a low end Miyota automatic movement.

I'd respect him for wearing a workhorse watch with a Miyota 8200 or Seiko NH35. Good, reliable movements. Nothing fancy, a working class hero. To be appreciated for what they are.
Shit, the watch I wear most these days is a Citizen Eagle with a Miyota 8200 that I bought at a flea market. Got a bunch of others with various Seiko movements. Simply good, unpretentious stuff.

 

[AltisticRight]

Fucking hell. This is my favorite fucking thread but some of yall are nearly as bitchmade as Rick hisself. He aint autistic, he aint sociopathic, he aint retarded, he aint got NPD, or BPD, or any of the other bullshit yall zoomer bitches like to sperg out about.

Fat Rick is simple. He's a fat dumb closeted mommas boy faggot drunkard with bitchtits. Thats it. He lies for the same reason children do, he thinks people believe him. His lies change because he's stupid and he cant remember what lies he told before. There is no mystery to solve, no case to crack. He is exactly what he appears to be and he hasn't been beaten to death because he lives in the most civilised country in the world.

Thats it.

But he's fat.

 

[Spunt]

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I know you're out there. I can feel you now. I know that you're afraid... you're afraid of me. You're afraid of prison. I know the future. I came here to tell you how this is going to end. I came here to tell you how it's going to begin. I'm going to hang up this phone, and then I'm going to show my followers what you don't want them to see. I'm going to show them a world without stalkerchilds. A world without ONA and kiwifarms, without fat jokes or Judge Holden trying to fuck me. A world where anything is possible except you escaping your life imprisonment for crimes against me. Where we go from there is a choice you no longer have, child.

Wrong again stalker child. Big Nicholas is constantly receiving sexual satisfaction from all the nigger bulls Patrick pays to fart into her vagina.

"Do you think that's air you're breathing?"

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

Anyone can be American! Now get the fuck out of here, you piece of shit, you're not a Real American!

"Real Americans will chew you up and spit you out."

It always comes back to eating with this fatass, doesn't it?

 

[Something Awful]

nO chiLD, yOu hAd a fiVE staR experIenCE! Sorry you're so delusional!

 

[reptile baht spaniard rid]

I think some aspiring pest should animate this "thing" becoming the similar photo of Elon we have somewhere. Rick would love that, and would love nothing more than it being posted to him a billion times.

Holy shit that airbnb response is complete faggotry. You could rewrite it to be a polite detailing, but nope, Rick gotta be Rick.

Faggot should tape instructions on top of the portable dishwasher (holy shit how trailerpark hobo can this nigger get) and buy whole-home air conditioning, midwest houses can keep up with 100º houses if they're not shittily insulated and using window units. (Heating a house from -40 to 70º is much harder that conditioning from 100º down to 70º - but if you have the insulation it's not so bad.)

 

[grey area]

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nO chiLD, yOu hAd a fiVE staR experIenCE! Sorry you're so delusional!

He's really channelling his inner boomer with the limp-dicked passive aggression. Inufferable cunt.

I hope he's crucified in court for operating an Airbnb when he and his benzoed-out slag were terrified for their lives by the criminal cult calling him fat.

 

[Useful_Mistake]

Please find attached the police report regarding a incident on 03-20-25 where Mr. Patrick Tomlinson began yelling at employees of JB Hunt Transport services for not doing their job as well as he wanted to. The poor employee was "fearing for his safety".

Please find attached additional supplemental information

EDIT:

WAIT A GOD DAMN MINUTE! Who's the caller again?

Now who is named Patterson and works for jb hunt transport services?

Well, that doesn't work. Both reports state that the caller is male, and the location doesn't match either. Any other matches?


Well, location aside, the name and gender match. So, did Patrick really no child the VICE PRESIDENT of JB Hunt Transport services?

 

[McMitch]

So, did Patrick really no child the VICE PRESIDENT of JB Hunt Transport services?

I’m wondering if the delivery driver didn’t call back to the office about this, “Yeah this belligerent fat pig got in my face and now won’t let me leave. What do I do?”
“Don’t worry about it, I’ll call the cops for you. Just stay in the truck.”

 

[Useful_Mistake]

I’m wondering if the delivery driver didn’t call back to the office about this, “Yeah this belligerent fat pig got in my face and now won’t let me leave. What do I do?”
“Don’t worry about it, I’ll call the cops for you. Just stay in the truck.”

I believe whatever theory gets VP personally involved because that is beyond hilarious