Megathread Tranny Sideshows on Social Media - Any small-time spectacle on Reddit, Tumblr, Twitter, Dating Sites, and other social media.

[BetterFuckChuck]

Weird that he/she toons about Kier Starmer but uses US spelling.
Bong living in US? Early follows are some cartoonists with a Bong slant.

interesting never noticed that. could be good for an OP, if you find anything else. i might want to help you wth that or you could help me

 

[poggers]

This geezer decided he was trans in his early 60s and his wife rightly left him, now he's on disability and makes no effort to pass. Even hardened lurkers of r/MTF can still shudder at the thought of this bearded geriatric making moob juice. I'm glad to know where tax dollars are going, to fund an old pervert's hormone regime so he can sit around milking himself and posting about it online.

 

[Stabby_Pencil]

This geezer decided he was trans in his early 60s and his wife rightly left him, now he's on disability and makes no effort to pass. Even hardened lurkers of r/MTF can still shudder at the thought of this bearded geriatric making moob juice. I'm glad to know where tax dollars are going, to fund an old pervert's hormone regime so he can sit around milking himself and posting about it online.

EWW. Why are they so obsessed with lactation? Do they not know that only occurs when women have a baby? Because it seems like they have this notion that women are just out here lactating all the goddamn time.

 

[didelphigina]

How many have you actually met yet alone been exposed to, if not through the internet and the news? I was in california for all of 8 hours before I met one, so maybe the US is just ultra-pozzed, but it really is relatively easy to not care. "Glad that ain't me" and move on. It's gay to have other people living rent free in your head. They goon and dilate themselves into a numb sleep while you shake and seethe with anger towards someone you never met.

I swear you could live a perfect life simply in way of avoiding shit a third person would consider cringe. Edging for 3 hours. Smartphone usage. Typing random shit online.

Ignoring them and letting them be is the whole reason this whole ideology became as big as it is now.

"Not caring" is why so many kids have now thought about being transgender- why so many of them got easily manipulated through sources that tell them they're a true and honest genderspecial.

"Not caring" is one of the reasons behind the eventual explosion of transgender ideology during the pandemic years. "Not caring" is why this thread is still going on because we're seeing the effects of all of it.

That's what these crowds tell us. It's not affecting you, so shut up and let me emotionally manipulate the vulnerable child on VRChat into distancing themselves from their families to be with a crowd of mentally unstable adults, bigot. I can live my life not thinking about them and I have, but you can only hold onto that for so long when you're getting the occassional reminder on what they're doing and what they have successfully achieved during the pandemic and when the Biden presidency was endorsing it nonstop.

If we learned from this year's pride month, something is changing and happening. But in the end, they still take over the internet. But they're slowly losing ground IRL. Slowly but surely.

Saying "it ain't me" and moving on is why the community became what it is now. We let "live and let live" become the community's soil to become a full weed garden, and now all we can do is just wait for some weed exterminator to take it all out, which will take longer than you may think.

Just because I haven't personally seen 15 transgender people per day in my conservative state doesn't mean all of this hubbaloo isn't happening.

 

[The Skeksis Emperor]

Because it seems like they have this notion that women are just out here lactating all the goddamn time.

I'm going to blame hentai for that one because unfortunately I am aware this is a thing in some strains of books/shows.

 

[AnthonyLoggerhead]

It’s been a few months since I’ve seen anything about it, but I remember this one tranny calling himself ‘Marcy’ in Florida who was crying on xitter about how he got caught in the women’s bathroom. He was crying a lot about how ‘big bad trannyphobic Florida’ was going to throw him into men’s prison where he belongs. I wonder if his court date has arrived yet?

 

[daffodils]

LessWrong autist writes a "trip report" (archive) about estrogen. If you ever wanted to read a guy discuss his fetish in 8107 words of biomedical jargon, cube_flipper (Twitter), purveyor of smoothbrains.net, is your man.

Spoiler

How did he come to the conclusion he needs estrogen?


As an avid slop consumer, he notices a change in his tastebuds right away


He also starts to notice the other unwashed autists more


Estrogen cures autism


And makes you shower less


Being on estrogen is like being slightly high all the time


He's weak now...


and has feelings


But he's also more unstable


Lolcow crossover


You don't say


Estrogen makes you schizotypal


Probably not

 

[Sailor Kim Jong Moon]

EWW. Why are they so obsessed with lactation? Do they not know that only occurs when women have a baby? Because it seems like they have this notion that women are just out here lactating all the goddamn time.

Hey, that’s not true. You can lactate if you have a pituitary tumor or are on anti-psychotics.

Clearly, this man should get some anti-psychotics.

 

[Lentil Soup]

It’s been a few months since I’ve seen anything about it, but I remember this one tranny calling himself ‘Marcy’ in Florida who was crying on xitter about how he got caught in the women’s bathroom. He was crying a lot about how ‘big bad trannyphobic Florida’ was going to throw him into men’s prison where he belongs. I wonder if his court date has arrived yet?

The prosecution fucked up and didn't file the required documents so the judge dropped it. Disappointing.

https://www.documentcloud.org/documents/25985569-rheintgen-motion-for-discharge/

 

[AnthonyLoggerhead]

The prosecution fucked up and didn't file the required documents so the judge dropped it. Disappointing.

https://www.documentcloud.org/documents/25985569-rheintgen-motion-for-discharge/

Aw man I was ready for the massive asshurt when he got thrown into male jail. The motion to dismiss is so fucking gay tho. Cases in point:

> The probable cause affidavit and first appearance paperwork refer to Ms. Rheintgen by a different name and gender. The American Bar association (ABA) has passed a resolution encouraging the respectful use of language, which includes respecting an individual's gender identity, preferred name, and pronouns

So gay

>calling toilet tranny ‘her’ & ‘she’

Extra fucking gay

 

[neu]

The prosecution fucked up and didn't file the required documents so the judge dropped it. Disappointing.

https://www.documentcloud.org/documents/25985569-rheintgen-motion-for-discharge/

Unfortunate but for me, the silver lining is that if the intention was for the case to be a spectacle and "prove a point" then I find it kind of funny in a way that that didn't come to fruition. I'm convinced people like this deliberately trying to get arrested and stuff is just an extension of trannies in general wanting to feel oppressed so they have another reason to go bitch and be generally histrionic on social media. Like when they go on twitter or something and say shit like, "if a conservative is in office then we'll be genocided ", it's honestly hard for me to tell if they genuinely believe what they're saying or if it's literally just that they enjoy wallowing in misery and attention. Obviously arrests just for being a tranny didn't become a thing, and they probably won't anytime soon because they're too useful politically and profit-wise, so they just latch onto mundane bullshit like getting arrested for trespassing in a public bathroom and then expect to be taken seriously.

 

[countrybumpkin]

 

[sheepworldvizor]

LessWrong autist writes a "trip report" (archive) about estrogen. If you ever wanted to read a guy discuss his fetish in 8107 words of biomedical jargon, cube_flipper (Twitter), purveyor of smoothbrains.net, is your man.

Spoiler

How did he come to the conclusion he needs estrogen?
View attachment 7629861

As an avid slop consumer, he notices a change in his tastebuds right away
View attachment 7629863

He also starts to notice the other unwashed autists more
View attachment 7629867

Estrogen cures autism
View attachment 7629870

And makes you shower less
View attachment 7629871

Being on estrogen is like being slightly high all the time
View attachment 7629885

He's weak now...
View attachment 7629891

and has feelings
View attachment 7629899

But he's also more unstable
View attachment 7629903

Lolcow crossover
View attachment 7629906

You don't say
View attachment 7629907

Estrogen makes you schizotypal
View attachment 7629917

Probably not
View attachment 7629931

Conclusion: Cross sex hormones do not cure autism.

 

[Magic Pickle]

When deception turns into obsession: a tranny is so fixated on hiding his biological reality that he spends time constantly dwelling on new ways to mislead people about his truth, part of which is due to the distress he feels at the idea that friends would realize "society sees [me] as a creepy man." I suspect that part of why he is so preoccupied with this notion is not only does he actually claim to be low IQ, but he is also autistic, which makes him sound like a future Chris Chan in the making.
Link 1 | Archive 1
Link 2 | Archive 2
Link 3 | Archive 3

I'm stealth, is it okay to tell my friends to not attend my funeral incase i get deadnamed or misgendered by people who know I'm trans​

I know this is a weird and heavy thing to think about, but it's been weighing on me. I'm stealth in most parts of my life, BUT there are a few family members who still use my deadname and the wrong pronouns.
Is it okay to ask my close friends (who know me but not that im trans) to skip the funeral altogether, and never visit my grave if it's going to be full of misgendering and deadnaming?
I just don't want them to see something that was always meant to be private while they watch my legacy be practically torn to shreds in "my final moments"

Is there ways to make sure my online friends believe im a cis girl?​

MTF on an anonymous alt here, I personally rather prefer if most of my online friends perceive me as a cis girl rather than trans for personal reasons including close friends (BTW they aren’t transphobic and some of them are even trans themselves)
Some of them have actually had “vibes” that I’m trans, and others have figured out I’m trans due to leaked messages and pictures that accidentally included my real name. And one probably because of the fact i refused to voice chat?
Is there any way to help prevent ppl from finding out im trans?
(Whether it’s from the “vibes” i somehow give off or the things i need to hide)

Being outed as Trans damaged my online friendships​

MTF here on a private account.
I always loved being stealth online and seen as a cis girl and being treated like one, people seeing me as someone who has lived a life of femininity since birth, plus people thinking my physical body is afab gives me gender euphoria
Unfortunately a good portion of my super close online friends eventually found some of my old discord messages that talked about me being trans. It was extremely humiliating and I genuinely wanted to die.
Following this, they later found out about things I’ve went through and now they’re aware of things I’m uncomfortable with them knowing about. They are supportive of me being trans as some of them are LGBT themselves however I despise the fact they know about this, I know it’s not their fault and they can’t un-know ai’m trans which is a huge problem for me.
I’m upset that their view of me is permanently altered, the fact that they know I wasn’t AFAB, the fact I lived as a guy, and the fact they’re aware society sees me as a creepy man.
I feel like my online friends will now imagine me as a non-passing woman with a deep voice who’d they’d constantly feel bad for. And it’s quite obvious they’re trying their best to cheer me up from the discrimination and dysphoria (which i deeply appreciate) but it’s more humiliating and embarrassing if anything. But then if I told them to stop it would make me come off as ungrateful and their view of me still won’t change.
The biggest part is since we’re so close as friends we’re planning to meet irl when were older, but I’m still insanely uncomfortable with that due to the fact I don’t pass, and even if I “passed” I’d be afraid they’d still pick up things about my physical appearance that screams “AMAB”
Though maybe this was karma for me being a jerk to my friendgroup 4 years ago (i still feel bad ngl). I don’t know, but the fact I was outed makes my interactions with them feel alot more awkward to this day.

A deathfat-stinkditch crossover post: a TiF is fuming because she has to lose weight to be eligible for surgery due to, well, the fact that obesity greatly impacts surgical outcomes. Her solution? Subtracting the estimated weight of breast tissue prior to the surgery so patients don't have to lose unnecessary weight beforehand! Someone send this woman an honorary medical doctorate straight away, we've got a genius on our hands!
Link | Archive

BMI limits are so stupid????​

I’ve been waiting for my top surgery for a little over two years because I need to lose weight to be eligible (which is the dumbest thing ever), so I’ve had a lot of time to think about my whole situation.
Why don’t they substract the like estimated weight of your breast tissue when they analyze your file?? HAHAHA like I know this is probably stupid and I went too deep but at the same time…. aren’t yall gonna take my yitties out like within the next hours? Why do I have to reach a certain weight goal for the day of surgery and this isn’t taken into account? Like I will legit wake up from surgery weighting 10lbs less than I usually do because you’re LITERALLY taking fat tissue out. Anyways, just a thought I wanted to share.

Another supposed intellectual powerhouse speculates about why transgender surgeries aren't quite where they are, which reminds me of the saga of Veinscrawler over in the SRS thread. If you're all so smart, why aren't you all lining up to be the next top SRS surgeon? (Personally, I would love to see more tranny surgeons just because I find tranny-on-tranny aggression to be most magnifique.)
Link | Archive

Phalloplasty technology is frustrating​

It's so frustrating to me, as someone who keeps up with many of the latest advancements in medical science, that phalloplasty is still so incredibly behind where it could be. There are advancements that would allow it to have a much lower complication rate, but they're not used. Why? For example we can grow urethral tissue from patient cells, we don't have to have these high risks of uti and complications, so why?

A fretful, fault-finding Finnish FTM takes to Reddit to repine endlessly about the loneliness she has signed herself up for by being a neurotic pooner dipshit. Yes, I can imagine it will be very hard to find a normal man who will put up with your gender tomfoolery (TiFfoolery?), your refusal to have any sort of sexual congress and your delicate constitution that makes you unfit to take in public. Perhaps you should consider a nunnery?
Link | Archive

Is it even realistic to dream about a relationship when you're ftm, asexual and gay​

and won't date trans people? Because I'm so dysphoric being with a trans person would only remind me I'm with them because I can't have a cis guy because I'm trans so it'd just make me more dysphoric
Being asexual and romantic is a challenge for anyone but especially when you're also trans and gay, is it even possible to find someone who's actually compatible? Do I just give up and stay single and get depressed because of the lack of close relationship and human touch. It stresses me out sm that most cis men are sexual and I haven't even heard of any cis gay ace men existing. Most people won't want a trans partner. And out of the people like that who might exist, how many live near me, are a reasonable age, speak a language I'm comfortable with, are willing to accommodate my life threatening food allergies, and everything else even cishet non asexual people have to think about?
It just feels so unfair. I keep thinking of the fact that loneliness makes you more sick than smoking etc. All my friends live abroad and none of the people I know like hugs or even any lighter touch, I feel so disconnected from all people. I wish I liked women, they're much more open to non traditional relationships but I've tried several times and I'm just not attracted at all. Though I'd still rather be with an ace woman than a man who wants sex, but it wouldn't be fair for the woman because I wouldn't like her romantically
I feel like my life has no purpose if I can't find deep connection to people but I haven't heard of anyone who has managed to find the kind of relationship I would need to be happy

PvP (Poon versus Poon) enabled: a TiF who is prison gay with another TiF finds her resentment towards her reaching a boiling point because she's not taking the pooner LARP as seriously as OP is. When asked why she hasn't simply broken up with her partner, OP replies: "We've been together for a year, I'm just afraid of being alone, I don't have anyone to talk too really aside from them, it's hard for me to meet people and maintain relationships so if not then, then I don't think I'll have anyone"
Link | Archive

How to stop projecting internalized transphobia on partner?
I feel like a horrible person. I don't want to be a horrible person. I want to change, I want to stop feeling this way. Im ftm, my partner is in-between ftm and nb. I feel so much internalized hatred, and when I look at my parents (doesnt pass, doesnt want/care about passing, reads as female) I look at them and in the back of my mind I can't help but feel so much hatred. Because they are everything I don't want to be. Everything I have tried to run away from. And of course I have never told them that sometimes I feel that way. But I don't know how to stop thinking like that. How do I stop feeling this way

A transmedicalist (i.e. NLOG of troons) FTM actually enjoys a degree of invisibility and resents the increasing public awareness of top surgery scars. The fact that she's anxious that the general public may become more aware of phalloplasties is hilarious, because it's not as if these procedures are kept under lock and key like government secrets. Why are you so afraid of people knowing the truth?
Link | Archive

I’m happy trans men are ignored​

Um, yeah, it's a good thing we're ignored, especially with how things are going now politically. The fact that top surgery scars are being boasted about online pisses me off, as cis people are starting to be able to clock us due to that. At this rate they'll know about phallo by 2026 and we'll get matt walsh documentary about deformed penises or some bs. See personally I'm not "queer and here!" I don't mind being ignored, and I mostly mind becoming relevant because trans men can't organize for shit.

A lesbian couple made up of a FTM and her handmaiden have made the choice to have a child, but PsuedoDaddy over here is terrified over the prospect of a fertility clinic trying to test "his" sperm to determine the best path forward for IVF. Seeing how determined she is to stay stealth even to medical providers, I cross my pickley fingers that the IVF fails to take and that their plans of parenthood evaporate, because I am of the opinion that stealth trans people should never, ever have children given that they are chronically addicted to lying and deceit. No little one deserves to grow up with parents who weave nothing but webs of lies!
Link | Archive

How to stay stealth as a cishet couple during fertility process​

My wife (cis F) and I (stealth post transition M) are exploring family planning. I want to keep this short so I’ll just say due to my inability to produce sperm and my wife’s genetic condition that we do not wish to pass on, we have determined fertilized embryo donation is likely the best path for us as we do want to have a traditional pregnancy experience. I worry however as husband and wife that when we go to the fertility appointment they will want to genetically test me (my sperm) to consider egg donation to my wife using my own sperm for an IVF process. I do not under any circumstances want to tell the doctor the truth regarding my infertility. I don’t understand if my wife is the patient or WE are the patients. If I’m not the patient then I just refuse testing but I don’t want to seem sketchy? Ideally we would explain since my wife’s genetic condition keeps her from using her own egg for fairness reasons I’d rather not use my sperm either. Is this a reasonable explanation? Has anyone been through medical family planning and stayed stealth?

 

[Positron]

"At this rate they'll know about phallo by 2026 and we'll get Matt Walsh documentary about deformed penises or some bs."

Yeah, even glory-hole fanatics can't tell...

I don’t understand if my wife is the patient (in fertility counselling) or WE are the patients.

I have no fucking words. These people's understanding of biology is so advanced that it is totally over my head, over Mount Everest even.

Ideally we would explain since my wife’s genetic condition keeps her from using her own egg for fairness reasons I’d rather not use my sperm either. Is this a reasonable explanation?

In plain words, "Not my damn business, just do whatever you want so that she'll give me my baby. Just don't bother me!". These people have such pathological avoidance of responsibility I find it horrifying that they might become parents. How fucking old is she anyway?

 

[didelphigina]

View attachment 7630058

I had to unironically take Tylenol after looking at this. Just, wow. No reaction.

 

[NOT Sword Fighter Super]

AI has come a long way in a short time.

 

[mr. testicular torsion]

View attachment 7630058

this is the gayest shit ive ever seen

 

[Frofo Baggis]

So I took a peak at this troons X profile (archive) and I really wish I hadn't.



Viewer discretion is definitely advised for this. He has the most disgusting moobs i've ever seen and even brags about "lactating" some wattery puss in one of his posts. I'm serious. You're probably gonna get nightmares after you click on this.

Spoiler

And yes before you ask, his "wife" in his bio is also male.

 

[Magic Pickle]

A spurious son plots to flash his father in retaliation towards dear ol' papa's acknowledgment of the less than transformative aspects of clothing. As malignant as this behavior is, it's not too surprising as OP says he has BPD, which is basically Bad People Disorder; instead, what's really surprising is that the comments advise that OP doesn't rebel in such a way. You'd be forgiven for assuming it's because even some troons recognize that it'd be vaguely incestuous sexual aggression, but it's actually because they fear that OP could endure violent transphobia in response. Hands down the most disturbing comment of all was "All transphobes to the degree your father is are perverts. Your father wants to see tits."
Link | Archive

Going topless to prove a point to my father​

I had to move in with my transphobic father (but I'm thankfully moving in with my mom tomorrow) because I need to get back on my feet and he said "You look like a man in women's clothing" and "I had to a chest too when I was fat". I'm 145 pounds with an hour glass figure and a B Cup. I'll be topless when he gets home to show him it's not just "fat" as he put it. If he doesn't stop his transphobia soon I'm going to drop him from my life and I'm giving him a very rude wake up call when he gets home from work

A downtrodden trans goddess puts out a desperate plea in the hopes that the universe guides her to a place of warm, forgiving shelter so that she may nurture her gentle soul. Just kidding! A useless, esoteric bum wants to return to the womb so he doesn't have to live up to anyone's expectations at 34 fucking years old and struggles to find anyone willing to put up with his genderwoo bullshit and house his lazy, crazy ass for free. Oh, and the reason he doesn't go to the affirming women's shelters in Chicago? He describes them as "conversion camps."
Link | Archive

asking here because i can’t do this alone. calling in a safe home for rest, healing and rebuilding.​

i posted this in the Chicago queer exchange Facebook and on lex. i’m in need of community who can shelter me tonight, offer a shower and place to sleep. however my full ask is below. if you can accommodate either one of these asks or know someone who can, please reach out to me.
I’m looking for someone who has the heart, space, and capacity to host me in a low-pressure, expectation-free environment. A place where I can land, rest, and begin to rebuild.
I’m reaching out here because I know that community, true community, sometimes has more to offer than shelter placements or temporary housing programs ever could.
What I need:

• A place to stay that is emotionally and spiritually safe
• No time limit or conditions on my rest or presence
• No expectation of labor, compliance, or exchange beyond mutual respect
• Ideally, access to quiet, warmth, and internet so I can begin reconnecting to my work and creativity

What I bring:

• Deep integrity, clarity, and calm presence
• Beauty, insight, and creative intelligence
• A fierce will to honor the care I receive with transformation, not transaction
• A commitment to living in alignment with joy, mutual aid, and collective healing

I’m calling in someone who sees care not as a burden, but as an investment. Someone who understands that supporting me through this moment is not a loss, but a contribution to something larger: my future, my art, my healing, and the healing that will ripple from me to others.
If this call speaks to you or if you know someone who might have space or be resourced to help, please DM me. I’m open to short conversations to feel out alignment and see what’s possible.
Thank you for being a part of a city and a queer network where this kind of ask can even be imagined, and thank you for listening.
With love and readiness, Deonté

Mommy Queerest: after Tricare decides to no longer cover politically motivated medical child abuse, a perimenopausal mother debates partaking in the felonious act of sharing estrogen tablets with her trooned out son so that he may continue the process of being mutilated by modern medicine.
Link | Archive

Tricare revoked gender affirming care...​

Hi! My daughter is trans, and Tricare recently stopped covering any and all gender affirming care.(ETA: FOR MINORS) Which means I'm having a hard time finding somewhere to get her meds, that isnt going to cost an arm and a leg. Her doctor (he was amazing!) Provided us with some leads, but so far, they have lead to dead ends.
Now, here is my thought process: I'm 47 yrs old, and in perimenopause. Because of this, I can ask my doctor for estrogen. (Even though I really dont need it yet) But I also just looked it up, and (if I lie about my symptoms a little) I can get sprionolactone...which is her other med.
Thoughts on going this route? It would only have to be for 6 months until she is 18 and Planned Parenthood can help.

A geriatric gooner asks Reddit: "What are your favourite trans-inclusive statements?" Personally, my favorite is "build better communities, live with love," which I like to practice by rejecting transgender ideology whenever forcibly presented with it and teaming up with anyone willing to beat back troonacy regardless of their spot on the political spectrum. Yet strangely enough, I don't think OP would like hearing that...
Link | Archive

What are your favourite trans-inclusive statements?​

Hi. I’m a 50+ trans person, wanting some more one liners that help spread humanity and contribute towards deescalating the toxic transphobic debate in trans-inclusive ways. E.g.

• We’re all humans
• Trans people are real
• Diversity exists, always has, always will.
• Good science equals caring for all people. Trans children are people.
• Trans people are Mums and Dads too
• Build better communities, live with love.

What statements do you think can help move us closer to compassionate humanity?

A li'l dood impotently stamps her feet and hopes bringing her frog voice down to a surly croak may intimidate a manager who doesn't care to respect her identity until paperwork is filed. The idea of some pooner trying to put me in my place by growling weakly like some anime protagonist simply tickles me endlessly!
Link | Archive

My manager is transphobic towards me behind my back​

I literally just started a new job and there's ALREADY some bs going on at work. My manager is transphobic towards me but never directly to my face.
I'm a trans man and she says she's gonna keep calling me a girl until I legally change my name and gender marker. But the thing is, the second I'm in front of her is when she calls me my preferred name and genders me correctly.
I hope she knows her office is not soundproof and I can hear all the transphobic things she says about me. It frustrates me, honestly. Her transphobia is actually categories as discrimination in the employee handbook so if I really wanted to, I could definitely raise some hell.
But I kinda just thought I'd do small things to indirectly tell her to stop. I thought about talking in the lowest tone my voice can go while talking to her and only her. It probably won't change her bigoted mindset but it'll for sure mess with her. Idk. I just thought I'd rant.

Pour one out for OP: a woman with a special needs child sees a relationship of 22 years turn to rubble from the wrecking ball of her insane husband's perversions. This one is a true rollercoaster with highlights including how her husband wants her to discover him having sex with dehumanized black men, wants to name himself after her beloved deceased aunt who was considered "a saint" by her family, and has threatened to hang himself in their garage if he doesn't get his way. The kicker? His transition began only 5 days ago.
Link | Archive

Immediate whirlwind​

Y'all, I (42f cis-) am so overwhelmed. Last spring (2024), my partner (43 mtf) of 22 years, married 7, and a 6 year old special needs kid, told me she wanted to have rough sex with bbc's while I "accidentally find" her mid sex either for me to get involved or get angry. Idk. It threw me. Then last winter, she got really wasted and kept going on about how she's a girl and only sex with men would make her happy. That really hurt. It was out of nowhere and so intense. I started to cry and she got really angry, telling me I have no right to have feelings, that nothing was changing for me, and why am I being such a transphobe? Then I started to feel bad about myself (am I transphobic? Do my feelings about this matter?). She started seeing a trans therapist to help her sort out her feelings and thoughts (she was questioning then), and every time they met, the therapist would tell her that she was definitely trans and needed to divorce me because I'm cis- hetero and there's no way it would ever work between us. She stopped seeing him because she felt like he was "pushing too hard," not listening to questions to help her sort out her feelings or provide guidance, and telling her to uproot our family. She didn't try to find any therapists after that.
Six months later, she decided she was definitely trans and had to start HRT immediately or would probably kill herself. We found a comprehensive center, from hrt all the way through ffs, vocal coaching, electrolysis, and individual and couples therapist with substantial experience with transitioning families. They didn't accept our insurance and she started freaking out, saying she couldn't wait until we changed insurance next year to get started. I get that. I would feel the same way. So she found a clinic near us with an appointment open the next day.
We went together because she wanted me to be able to ask the doctor any questions I had. I busted out my list. Every question I asked, the doctor dismissed as no big deal (I think asking about the proper nutrition plans and precautions about blood clots were reasonable). She addressed all my questions to my partner, as if we were on a car lot and the salesman only talks to the man, because the little lady doesn't know about cars and her input would be silly or stupid. She (the doctor) minimized my concerns over increased risk of breast cancer. "We used to think the risk for transwomen was increased, but we don't think that anymore." She asked if my partner had a therapist and she lied to the doctor that she does. No verification. Took some blood, scheduled an appointment for 2 weeks later for "Prescription evaluation."
It felt like a pill mill. It sketched me out that all the other centers in the area were booking 3 months out and this place had so many immediate appointment openings. It sketched me out that the doctor never addressed me as a part of this big, apprehensive change in our family's lives.I felt like I didn't matter. The doctor made me feel like it wasn't any of my business.
The next day, she bought herself a whole new wardrobe, shoes, and makeup and wanted to do a makeover and a fashion show. It felt really uncomfortable to me, because I'm not the makeup, hair, nails, and heels type of girl. I told her it made me feel funny, like I was hanging out with a sister or a bestie.
Then, she wanted to change her name, and it ended up being my deceased aunt's name. That aunt was considered a saint and everybody was so attached to her. Those are REALLY big shoes to fill. On top, it's a family name that was spoken with gravity and serious love. I'm positive my family would be outraged, not because of the transition, but because our aunt could never be equalled. My sister considered naming her daughter after our aunt and all my other sisters and dad got mad. Our aunt was one in 7 trillion and could never be imitated or matched. I told my partner that I didn't feel comfortable with it, and she started yelling at me about how it's her name and nobody else has a say in it. I know that she has a point, but the fact of the matter is that my family, who adores her, would be ill over it. I don't know how I could call her by that name without thinking of my aunt.
I'm having trouble adjusting so rapidly. Five days ago, she was using he/him and identifying as male. It was a shock when the doctor asked her pronouns and gender identity. I wasnt prepared for hearing her request for she/her and female gender. We never talked about it. I never heard her say it outloud before. Five days ago, I was having intense sex with my husband. Then I was in a doctor's office, hearing that penetrative sex was highly unlikely and we would have to find other things to replace that. She promised me that she was completely 100% lesbian and the sex wouldn't change and so on.
I fully support her transition and feel 100% convicted that this is the right thing to do. But I wasn't ready for such am immediate explosion of femininity overnight. I wanted to ease in slowly and she agreed. She was totally okay with that, she said. Then, boom, immediate appointment, and the femme explosion the next day. Everything all at once. I feel like my thoughts and feelings don't matter and I should dive hard into it like she has. "If I don't do this right now, I'm going to hang myself in the garage."
I have a therapist, but she doesn't. Idk how to get her back to one. She says she's afraid the therapist will tell her that she needs more counseling and will delay hrt. So she's already lying to the doctor to get what she wants. She has a history of that.
Idk what to do. I'd love some thoughts/experiences.
Also, if I messed up her pronouns, point it out so I can be more conscientious, but please don't yell at me for it. I'm really, really trying. Same with verbiage. I'm not familiar with the terminology yet. Please point that out, too.
Thanks, fam. We can do this together.