Fictional Characters who would deserve their own threads? - Just like the other thread.

[GenericReviewerDraco]

Skitzocow: Dinosaurus from Invincible:

Spoiler

woke eco-terrorist scalie obsessed with genocide for the greater good.

Manosphere/Horrorcow: Rudolph "Rex" Conners (also from Invincible): creepy lolicon simp/identity thief/quasi-tranny

Spoiler

who commits a planetary school shooting over getting cucked by his "legal loli cunny"; allegedly for the greater good as well.

I did this for fucking Kirkman slop, but his trainwrecks are fun at least.

 

[Ethereal Eye]

[HORRORCOW] Junko Enoshima / "Ryoko Otonashi" / "The Ultimate Fashionista" / "The Ultimate Despair" - Unhinged gyaru with an obsession for the concept of despair. Split personalities. Directly caused several deaths. Mastermind of a criminal ring of equally despair-obsessed brainwashed individuals.View attachment 7474209

She would have her own subforum honestly. A lot of people in her circle of influence such as Mikan, Nagito, and the Warriors of Hope would have to be in their own special forum. I can already see it.

Hope vs Despair
This forum is a stepping stone for hope!

 

[Grimoire Canthari]

[Horrorcow] Shenmei - Status hungry, vindictive ex-concubine and withered hag running the Shi Clan as her husband sits in the cuck room. Targets mothers to join her in Chinese Diddy parties. Forever angry she never got fucked by a pedophile.

Spoiler: Spoilers for Apothecary Diaries

• BP would have a field day dissecting her looks
• She discovers the thread at some point and sends people to shit it up. Fails. A warning from mods to not ween the bitch due to safety concerns is edited onto the OP
• Constant prayers for Suiren to be able to leave her abusive mother in law alive
• Loulan makes an account to share IRL stories of her mother having people tortured for bs reasons. Pretends she's a servant for OPSEC
• Medfag kiwis point out immortality/youth restoring medicine isn't real which causes Shenmei constant seethe
• Thread moves like lightning after the Shi clan gets raided by imperial forces for rebellion
• Gets the [Inactive] tag when KF finds out she died from a gun exploding on her.
• She becomes a serious contender for the Lolcow Awards due to the raid saga

 

[Halbschwanz]

Subforum: Internet Tough Guys
Bender Bending Rodriguez/Bending Unit 22/"Coilette"
Defective Mexican bending unit, megalomaniacal multiple felon gambling addict, crossdressed for sports twice, delusional Hollywood wannabe, interfaced with human women, obnoxious sockpuppeteer IRL and in thread, BENDER LICKS BUTT.

 

[Book Thief]

[Inactive] Michael Williams / Milky toes - Rage streamer, sex pest, pedophile, jerks off on anime figurines, dumb enough to get into a gunfight with police.
​

This guy comes from the Police Sim/Tactical Shooter Ready or Not. He's pretty much presented as a lolcow in-universe:

• The reason you're called to his residence is because of an impersonator swatting him.​
• His profile lists him as being notable for his "frequent outbursts" during his gaming streams.​
• When you reach his computer, you find his chat rapidly scrolling with messages celebrating his demise.​
• His room is decorated with numerous anime memorabilia. An unlockable piece of evidence of an anime girl figurine suggests wearing gloves while handling it due to the numerous "DNA samples" on the figurine.​
• Another piece of evidence suggests a police investigation regarding sexual misconduct from Michael from years gone by, although the charges were dropped despite convincing evidence.​
• When raiding his apartment, you can find numerous photos of underage girls, as well as chat logs discussing purchasing of such materials.​
• He has a gun and is more-than-likely willing to go down guns-blazing when you get inside his apartment.​
• His brother is a furry.​

He's basically what you'd get if you crossed DarksydePhil's man-baby gaming tantrums with anime coomerism and pedophilia.

 

[Ethereal Eye]

Time for some Hundred Line.

[Schizocow] Kyoshika Magadori- Raging weeaboo who believes anime is real, talks to her sword, and has a bad gooning addiction.

• Her frame of reference for the outside world is manga
• She carries around a sword that she claims to talk to called the "Holy Jumonji Sword"
• Has let it slip multiple times that she does unsavory things with the sword, even going as far as to bathe with it.
• Extremely mathematically handicapped and struggles with basic math like addition

[Horrorcow] Ima Tsukumo- Weird sibling who wants to fuck his twin sister

• His whole life revolves around his sister Kako
• He is so obsessed with her that he has countless pictures of her in his personal dorm room
• Will sperg out at you if he notices you making the slightest advances on her, even if its something as simple as complimenting her
• Has a strange taste in food, and will jumble up the weirdest shit. Think stuff like Carolina reapers combined with peanut butter jelly sandwiches. His sister is no better.

 

[gaysexenjoyer]

Think stuff like Carolina reapers combined with peanut butter jelly sandwiches.

You know... a pepperjelly and PB sandwich might actually be pretty good.

Anyway, I'd say "Dynamite" Anton Ball from the AntonBall/Blast series.

Dude is a notorious drunkard who refuses to pay tabs or bills, lazes around in a dingey broken down apartment in Florida after binge drinking all day, eats so much red shit and is so quick-to anger that his skin is constantly a bright beet-red, randomly screams at the top of his lungs like a mental patient, and he's also canonically a Sony pony who prefers playstation to xbox.

Just a general menace to his local community, so I'd see him becoming a cow pretty quickly.

 

[Senior Frogmin]

[Horrorcow] "Mister Jane Doe"/The Soldier - Lead Poisoned God fearing man larping as a WW2 Vet, Works for bosses that are most likely even more unstable than him.

 

[Metamorpho]

Some guy said Bridget from Guilty Gear deserves an actual thread.

What are your thoughts on this take?

 

[Toji Suzuhara]

She would have her own subforum honestly. A lot of people in her circle of influence such as Mikan, Nagito, and the Warriors of Hope would have to be in their own special forum. I can already see it.

Hope vs Despair
This forum is a stepping stone for hope!

The Mukuro thread would have lots of simps and Junko herself socking on it just to insult her and tell embarrassing stuff about her.

Honestly you should add "A-logs her own twin sister" to Junko's subtitle.

Raging weeaboo who believes anime is real

Her frame of reference for the outside world is manga

Based

 

[Po's Cootah]

[DEATHFAT] Charlotte Linlin / Big Mom

Self-explanatory.

 

[Gambrinous]

Not sure if this one has been said yet, but. I feel like Thanos from Squid Game would be an in-universe Celebricow.

 

[Senior Frogmin]

Some guy said Bridget from Guilty Gear deserves an actual thread.

What are your thoughts on this take?

Guilty Gear definitely has some wackos that would have threads. I feel like the gear race would even have its own thread. For example:

[LOWCOW] Sin Kiske - A "child" of a fraud king, fucked up family tree with gay dads.

[HORRORCOW] Kuro Kuruwaba/Crow - Dirlewanger if he was Japanese and had a thing for transvestite robots.

 

[Local Farmer]

[SCHITZO COW] Jodio Joestar- High School Sociopath and Kleptomanic with a (troon?) Brother, sells drugs to kids, set his school on fire, probably a thief

 

[Bunny Tracks]

She would have her own subforum honestly. A lot of people in her circle of influence such as Mikan, Nagito, and the Warriors of Hope would have to be in their own special forum. I can already see it.

Hope vs Despair
This forum is a stepping stone for hope!

I second this.

The sheer insanity of Danganronpa cannot be contained to one thread. It'd be like trying to fit all of the Sektur into one.

[SCHITZO COW] Jodio Joestar- High School Sociopath and Kleptomanic with a (troon?) sister, sells drugs to kids, set his school on fire, probably a thief

View attachment 7632502

I see this, and I raise you:

[INACTIVE] Vinegar Doppio/Diavolo/"The Boss"-DID-suffering leader of Passione who has broken time powers that make no sense. Keeps trying, and failing to kill own daughter who he dresses sluttier than. Has personalities that are gay for each other, and literally strips to change from one to the other. Currently hurdling through the multiverse after losing to a 15-year-old. TURURURURURURURU~

 

[Justice Tony]

And Eric Cartman too.

Eric is underage so he'd have to wait for a thread. But otherwise, yeah.

Jesus is kind of a lolcow if you really think about it

He'd be a lolcow up until He rose from the dead. Then we'd all be like "oh shit He actually is God". Also He actually exists.

Anakin Skywalker.
And take your pick from any of the characters introduced post-Disney purchase.

Probably Kylo since he is even more mentally unstable. Also maybe Finn since he is black, idk.

Engineer apparently has no issues sawing off his own arm and replacing it with a robotic one.

He'd likely be the only one without a thread ngl.

Anyway, my contributions to the thread: Dr. Doofenshmirtz and Candace from Phineas & Ferb, Joe & Brian from Family Guy, Comic Book Guy & the Wiggums from The Simpsons, Ultimis from CoD Zombies, and Jar Jar.

 

[Local Farmer]

I second this.

The sheer insanity of Danganronpa cannot be contained to one thread. It'd be like trying to fit all of the Sektur into one.

I see this, and I raise you:

[INACTIVE] Vinegar Doppio/Diavolo/"The Boss"-DID-suffering leader of Passione who has broken time powers that make no sense. Keeps trying, and failing to kill own daughter who he dresses sluttier than. Has personalities that are gay for each other, and literally strips to change from one to the other. Currently hurdling through the multiverse after losing to a 15-year-old. TURURURURURURURU~
View attachment 7632645

Diavolo would make a thousand alt accounts shitting up a thread

 

[Jose Beaner Luna]

Beep/Cyberbeep/The strongest warrior to ever exist- Autistic bugman with an unhealthy obsession with being the strongest warrior and the retarded fanbase that follows him. Lost an arm figthing a crackhead. Thinks he's a robot after replacing his arm with a bucket. was arrested for violating a restraining order. Addicted to weed.

 

[Po's Cootah]

[HORRORCOW] Iracebeth of Crims / The Red Queen

Also self-explanatory.

 

[The Lawgiver]

[TRAINWRECK] Megatron - Supposed leader of a robot army, but can't lead a school of fish. Spergs at his buttbuddy Starscream every time he points out how dumb his plans are. Claims to be tough but pisses his pants and retreats the moment the Autobots fight back. Can't fight Optimus Prime without augments.

Starscream's hands wrote this thread OP from megatron's computer. Later he gets outed as being a sperg the decepticons frequently put in the retard cage when he gets too rowdy.

Everything eventually goes downhill into chaos once he throws megatron out of their shuttle into space. if you know, you know.

The thread eventually gets a second wind after "Galvatron"'s crippling addiction to energy enhancing plasma gets bad to the point it gets in one of his head wounds after he dunks himself in it and the rest of the thread is just about a brain damaged tweaker.