Jason Thor Hall / PirateSoftware / Maldavius Figtree / DarkSphere Creations / Maldavius / Thorwich / Witness X / @PotatoSec - Incompetent Furry Programmer, Blizzard Nepo Baby, Lies about almost every thing in his life, Industry Shill, Carried by his father, Hate boner against Ross Scott of Accursed Farms, False Flagger

[PHUCKERPRIME]

and then quickly deleted the vod and all the clips afterwards.

He's spiraling too fast. How can we keep up?

 

[Unimaginative Username]

The guy who made the fridge is jason's former head mod and likely a personal friend of his, he's still part of jason's discord but hasn't interacted since 2024. Interesting to see him still active on social media since on his discord any mentions of him are explained as "he went to touch grass" etc.

I wouldn't be surprised if he's still a mod, just using an alt. If he's one of Mald's personal friends, there's probably some weird gay furry skeletons in his closet (or both their closets) that Mald wants to keep secret to avoid brand damage (which would be ironic in light of all his recent own goals).

 

[Joe Headroom]

So he defeated a cyber criminal at defcon and saved the day (proof?) and in recounting the story he says "it's illegal to set up a cell tower because it disrupts 911" (which doesn't seem to be true) instead of the obvious thing of criminal hacking? As it turns out, it's a felony to intercept someone's private phone calls or text messages. Gotta love him implying that somebody might have booby-trapped their spying device with an ied, and he's a superhacker that knows, if you open it up the way it was closed in the first place, it won't explode (what made you think closing it didn't arm the bomb?).

Proof? He's got an FBI challenge coin. If pressured, he will order one off the internet to prove his story, and I want him to do it.

I'm not sure why the FBI would care about cellular transmissions anyway. Radio waves are a highly specialized field that requires special equipment to detect and diagnose. If you sent a field agent out to investigate a mystery box, what's he going to do? Detain someone because a box is sending out magic, invisible waves? I'm pretty sure the FCC (Federal Communications Commission) would be more interested in governing radio signals. Jason probably assumes the FCC is only interested in keeping 'no-no' words off FM radio.

Cellular networks have interruptions to 911 services all the time. Try using your cellphone during a concert, festival or stadium game, the nearest cellphone tower will reach capacity really quickly (there are ways of alleviating this, but that's not why we're here). Mother's Day is another exception where all phone networks go to shit as everyone in the USA is calling their mothers.

The biggest part of Jason's story that bothers the shit out of me is that there is no reason to mess with the box in the first place. Jason is a 1o57 (lost) sycophant, and his reason to investigate the mystery box, is because someone talked to 1o57 without Jason present, and he takes that personally. His own ego is what drove him to action, not signs that something was wrong. Where in his story does he notice interruptions to cellular networks? Did he try calling 911 and discover it wasn't working? Did he unplug the box and notice cellular signal came back? Was there antennas poking out of the box? No. Jason discovered the problem by (and I can't stress how retarded this is) opening the box and sticking a mystery micro SD card into his personal laptop, and opening the files within.

Keep in mind that Jason is working as a "Red Team Specialist" at Activision Blizzard at this point. Jason has no forensic experience or forensic tools, and his best idea is to stick an unknown memory device into his computer. But let's be real, Jason never really used best security practices, especially when he exposed the internal Blizzard IP to WikiFur instead of doing his job.


Jason just hears things in the ether and repeats them like a parrot:
Is it illegal to tamper with 911 services? Absolutely. But do construction workers get jailed when they accidentally cut through an underground fiber line and renders landline services inoperable? No, because intent matters.
Is it a violation of fire code to block someone's driveway? Depends on local ordinances. But I guarantee if you call 911 over it, the first thing a Dispatcher is going to ask is "Did you ask them to move?". Upon which Jason would have the horror of talking to people face-to-face and not be an internet tough guy.
Is it illegal to vandalize a mailbox? Yes. Again, refer to intent. But mailboxes aren't some consecrated and holy object. And I guarantee you after Jason pulled his bullshit, forcing them to work around his mailbox while he pouted from his window, those construction workers backed into the mailbox as they were leaving, and they're still laughing about it now.

 

[Aurellia Spaghettellia]

The way he is completely unable to write sentences and paragraphs like a normal person makes me irrationally angry. These brainlet line by line stanza ass screeds got me a-logging.

Yeah, and there's very little difference between his speaking and his writing. Everything he says sounds arrogant.
It's so funny to me how he explicitly says it will be ready Wednesday because that day he'll be free to "hammer that the whole day."
It's such an unbelievably immature position to assume, especially with such pride. It's beyond ridiculous.

And it makes it sound like it's not going to be ready at all.
And if it is ready, it's going to be obviously rushed.
It's such disrespect to his customers.

 

[Moist Nugget]

I DO kinda like the vibe his video gives for meeting a friend and talking shit a bit,

Maybe thats just a strategy to develop parasocial feelings but....I kinda like it. Comfy vibe.

He normally does humorous reviews of bad games that are higher effort, yet done to look like they're low effort, and he generally has a fun, affable vibe to his personality.

 

[DefinitelyNotMe]

E;R jumps no the hate train as well looks like
he planned a heartbound stream

 

[Spooky Dogwood]

I just watched Harmful Opinion's gameplay VOD and what makes Shartbound's dialog so bad isn't just that it's cringe, but also because the pacing is horrible. "Character arcs" happen in 3 sentences. MC is constantly having mental breakdowns shouting "THIS ISN'T REAL! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!" every five minutes, while characters you've just met act like they're your best friend and that it's some kind of grand betrayal if you refuse to hang out with them. There is no build-up. There is no time for you to care about these characters. Every character is just an unhinged temperamental wacko. It's"payoff" with no set-up and he wants you to believe this took him 8 years to write?

 

[Roachbound]

And it makes it sound like it's not going to be ready at all.
And if it is ready, it's going to be obviously rushed.
It's such disrespect to his customers.

To be fair, that is literally every single heartbound update. It would be anomalous for jason to put out a non-rushed, non-minor heartbound update.

I just watched Harmful Opinion's gameplay VOD and what makes Shartbound's dialog so bad isn't just that it's cringe, but also because the pacing is horrible. "Character arcs" happen in 3 sentences. MC is constantly having mental breakdowns shouting "THIS ISN'T REAL! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!" every five minutes, while characters you've just met act like they're your best friend and that it's some kind of grand betrayal if you refuse to hang out with them. There is no build-up. There is no time for you to care about these characters. Every character is just an unhinged temperamental wacko. It's"payoff" with no set-up and he wants you to believe this took him 8 years to write?

What happens when a full playthrough length is 1 hour, and completionist is 2.5-3. There is no substance to the game, there is no depth to the characters, and there is no gameplay to actually keep the player invested, so there's literally nothing to keep you attached to the game other than jason's audience lapping up the "it'll be done when it's done" promise.

 

[Mr. Manchester]

I was reflecting on old Mald and I just think how wonderful this whole thing is. Fucker attacks the nicest guy on the Internet and collectively everyone turned their heads and said, "You know what? Fuck this guy. Get him!"

And so they did. Just a great thing to watch.

 

[Slimpacks]

SEETHING about quin69. He paused the whole stream for multiple minutes to find a clip and seethe about it
4:03 - Maldavius, will you address the ferret rape allegations?

He's butthurt about this twitter post for some reason,

He wants this post to be about him so bad he was seething and saying "waiting on ads btw" the whole stream.

 

[Yamaha YM2612]

I watched a video about his shitty deltrarune ripoff

It is so cringe and ass, holy shit

I hate when people see earthbound or undertale and these uncultured, normal, untalented faggots try to just copy it and not having any clue what makes those games good

It's cool to be inspired but you need to do your own thing that you don't suck at

You're not Toby fox. Find your own voice

 

[Mettaur]

>Jason is running a check every frame to see where the light is and he's running it purely on the CPU as opposed to the GPU.
Is he not aware of how bad this is on framerate? There's no reason to not just use a lightmap as a layer. It would make things so much easier on the system. Does he not know he's making a 2D game or something?

 

[Black Willow Lurker]

SEETHING

The ban counter in the corner is comical. 1.5k bans? Why show it? Is he retarded?Of course he's fucking retarded, holy shit

 

[Aurellia Spaghettellia]

Below is ~40% of the times he said writing today. (53 out of total 133 times)

Spoiler: writing takes long time

It's literally all writing.
It's just writing.
I do all the writing myself.
This was probably the hardest writing undertaking I've ever taken on in my life
No, because the only bottleneck is writing, and that's it.
So I just have to keep writing the video game, and it takes time.
And bottleneck is writing because there's a lot of routes, and that's that, right?
I don't want to build a writing team, I just want to write my video game, right?
The bottleneck on Heartbound is not programming. It's writing.
It's a writing bottleneck.
I work on block game on stream and I work on heart bound off stream because heart bound is all writing nothing else.
Implementation takes about an hour. Yeah, the dialogue is the lion's share of the work because I do all the writing as well
You're writing your head already just needs to go on a paper sometimes.
It's writing takes time.
I'm literally just writing dialogue for it
Dialogue writing takes about three to four weeks every month almost the entirety of the month
The grand majority of time that I spend working on heartbound is actually in writing
Every time it is a shitload of writing because it's a choose your own adventure
Bottleneck isn't code. It's actually writing
I work on it every single day my dude all that I have to do on heart bound is writing
Just let me finish my writing and you'll be good to go.
Writing is difficult because you have to get into the head of the character that you wrote and see things from their perspective
And that takes time. So I take my time on writing. That's all of the work of heartbound
It's 99 percent writing
Write more writings takes time. I do every day
that the only thing i have to do in heartbound is writing that's what takes all of my time
like three to four weeks every patch is just writing it's about an hour for implementation
there's no bottleneck in programming there's bottlenecks in writing because that shit takes time
Heart-bound doesn't really have any programming left. It's literally just writing
Implementation of that writing takes no time at all. It's like an hour to do four weeks of writing
This massive amount of work for writing takes about three to four weeks to write.
It's writing.
It's all writing.
I do 3-4 weeks of writing and then an hour of implementation.
Did you say writing was done months ago? No, no writing for a different update was done months ago
I work on Heartbound off stream because it's writing, and when I'm doing writing, I like to sit down
It takes me about an hour for implementation on four weeks of writing
Stream is for entertainment. I do my writing off stream.
And does that mean that it's good writing? That's subjective.
All I do on heartbound anymore is writing.
So, with that in mind, it's just writing that I have to do.
I spend three to four weeks writing all
I need to keep writing so I can finish my game.
Because writing takes forever.
It is, it's just a lot of writing, man.
Gotta get better at writing in Obsidian.
So, lot of different writing
Yeah, sometimes the writing takes longer.

 

[Mettaur]

The ban counter in the corner is comical. 1.5k bans? Why show it? Is he retarded?Of course he's fucking retarded, holy shit

It's like he wants people to troll him. He's acting like a heel in wrestling.

 

[Leaf Wage Slave Jr]

So, I admit to still using Zuccbook to keep up with a few people and groups - it’s fucking hilarious going into the Comments there, and seeing “Out of Mana” being used as a meme.

Mald’s seething is hitting the normies, and it’s just going to loop back into more seethe. This might be one of the greatest meltdowns I get to see in real time.

 

[Roachbound]

He's butthurt about this twitter post for some reason,
View attachment 7644654
He wants this post to be about him so bad he was seething and saying "waiting on ads btw" the whole stream.
View attachment 7644663

I can't believe he gets mad at a random twitter user for not including him.....a total stranger on twitter who is just making a post outside of his community. No insults, no threats, no bad will, but he still feels excluded enough to go complain to his cult. This dude really believes the world revolves around him, it must've been so insufferable being his coworker him when he was a nobody, not only is this dude lazy, but he's also so egocentric the whole office has to involve him.

 

[The Secret Sauce]

The ban counter in the corner is comical. 1.5k bans? Why show it? Is he retarded?Of course he's fucking retarded, holy shit

They've chosen to conclude their lives in Banworld long ago. Enjoy the finding out timeline, trolling stupids. Like honestly.

 

[limbdiction]

Is he not aware of how bad this is on framerate? There's no reason to not just use a lightmap as a layer.

You say that like performance matters. What is he supposed to do for you? Didn't you see that his game runs on an i9 smart fridge? Insane, fatherless behavior.

 

[Hooked on phobics]

They've chosen to conclude their lives in Banworld long ago

>banworld mentioned
>obligatory

Lolcowdom really is a flat circle isn't it?