Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

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Acoustic Virgin said:
I think there are a few reasons why we got here
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We made the internet, and physical technology, so accessible and intuitive that even a retarded pajeet can use it to some extended function.

When you hand the keys to the kingdom to retards, the kingdom becomes retarded. This is why you gatekeep everything and everyone forever.
 
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Anonymous Pool Services said:
Let's not forget that Cobes is the world's most unreliable narrator. The story about cheating on Stephanie is probably cope.
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I have said this for years to be honest. I doubt the bird story as well. Amazing how people just accept them, but can see Ozzy calling out for the cool goth dude who knows how to party at his concert is clearly a lie.

Its the same as badass Cobes, but then we see when he is confronted outside he either just ignores it, plays it down and moves away, or hits them with a "Im autistic, leave me alone!". Same as all the women who say he smells real good, or the girls who rejected him now lamenting it because he is a rockstar big time youtuber.

Cobes is a fantasist, kinda common with the special needs set.
 
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3.5 hour gender relayshuns responce to ShoeOnHead, TWU
And a full bottle of Vodka to help along the way
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Fuck Jeffrey Epstein. Fuck sickos.

Beavis’ Moms Boyfriend#6 said:
My wife has never had any interest in Cobes or any cow for that matter. I did get her to watch cobraisms one time and she’ll still throw a Trust and Believe Dood my way. TWU
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An of-age, alive, cisgendered, non-related human woman throwing some TnBs is MDWU toobz.

BallBuster II said:
"If the Palestinians and the Israelians..." Never ever change Cobes. 3:18:30
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"Let them fight it out. War is nothing more than a dick measuring contest."
Cobra's ignorance of the world and his parroting of others is pretty funny. It's good for society that he doesn't have control over anything important though. Bro would add a few trillion to the national debt with doordash alone.
 
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anliteralidiot said:
Ok cool cobras, I'm on a road trip, and car rules is that driver gets control of the speakers. So, I used this opportunity to force my husband to listen to Snake Bones 12: Favorite Moments
And he enjoyed it. :)
Which one do I force him to hear tomorrow?
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Episode 5: Josh and Autism is an option. Only 1 hour long too. It’s not very visual dependent from what I remember.
Episode 27: Stupid Beliefs and Theories would be a good one too.

I would say most of the Snake Bones or Bitesize Cobra Origin Stories episodes are good roadtrip material. With the exception of the obviously visual oriented ones like “Clint’s Art Sucks” where you need to be able to look at his shitty art in order to get the context of what they’re talking about. Snake Bones Episode 28 has a lot of visual gags too so that would be tough for a roadtrip.
 
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LiquidChrisRespecter said:
Cobra's Friends!

Couch Chris sniping at him about dairy and the "WHAT ABOUT CHEWIN'? TAKIN' THE WAND OUTTA YAH PAHKUT AND PUTTIN' IT BACK IN YUH PAHKUT" sends me fucking stupid. :story:
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Rip homeboy Alex. I wonder if current day Josh and his pudding brain would even remember Alex Anderson if asked.
 
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ParasiteSteve said:
I have said this for years to be honest. I doubt the bird story as well. Amazing how people just accept them, but can see Ozzy calling out for the cool goth dude who knows how to party at his concert is clearly a lie.

Its the same as badass Cobes, but then we see when he is confronted outside he either just ignores it, plays it down and moves away, or hits them with a "Im autistic, leave me alone!". Same as all the women who say he smells real good, or the girls who rejected him now lamenting it because he is a rockstar big time youtuber.

Cobes is a fantasist, kinda common with the special needs set.
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That whole thing is an interesting story.

As it goes, Stephanie got a new job working at McDonalds, her and Josh worked opposite shifts so they basically never saw each other. There was some separation there, it was fraying the relationship. At the same time, there was some gay pagan polycule (Matt, Damien and Megan) that were attempting to recruit Josh and Stephanie, although it was fairly obvious they only wanted Stephanie because of her young naivety and her smashing, otherworldly o'natural knockers. One of the members, Matt, would give them homework on meditation. Stephanie was enthusiastic about it but Josh's attitude was basically "lol no that's fucking gay I did not do your gay homework."

Cut to some time later and Stephanie had cheated on Josh with the leader of the gay crystal sex cult, Damien. She wanted to have her ass fucked very badly because she likes taking it in the poop chute. She wanted multiple men in the bedroom and Josh was not interested in this at all. She showed up to his work the same day and told him "I want to talk about this, I don't want you to be mad because this is probably going to happen again" and he was not happy about that. She pursued the issue at home and Cobra said he if this happened again, he'd kick the shit out of Damien. He also made an ambiguous kinky comment which she decided to take as a serious threat. Stephanie moved out immediately, went to go live with Damien where she ended up financially supporting the whole gay cult and she could get spit roasted to her hearts content.

Stephanie has made a video explaining "her side if the story" but let's be really clear here, we know exactly what happened: Stephanie wanted to suck a dude off while she got her ass blown out and she flat out admitted that to Josh. She wanted to pursue more complicated sexual relationships. When she wanted Josh to be a part of that and he wasn't interested, the relationship ended immediately for both of them without anyone saying anything. Stephanie coped, bringing up a previous incident of cheating which they moved past a long while back and brought up some justifiably angry comments from Cobra about kicking the shit out of Damien, she chose to interpret his weird autistic shit as some serious threat and bounced to go get her holes stuffed. She was getting her twatt patted by the same dude who she cheated with a month before this incident occured, like come on, man.

Our boy did almost nothing wrong. Stephanie was a hoe doing hoe shit and he was not interested in that. He was right to be mad about his girlfriend and his friend ass fucking behind his back, he should've beat the fuck out of him but BY OUR LORDS GOOD GRACES, he stayed his hand. If Stephanie didn't leave that day he would've dropped her ass because she wasn't going to stop. I'm sure she's a fine woman now, we all change and grow over time and the last I heard she wanted to get a loan for a business investment but my man was a victim of hoe shit and goth fags blowing out his girlfriend's ass.

Don't be mad Seizure you know this to be true. If anything it's a good indication that you could smash her in a three-way with Black Donny. With love comes great sacrifice.
 
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