Umamusume: Pretty Derby - Horse fuckers and gacha addicts get sent to the glue factory

[XYZpdq Jr.]

I like how the made the one from Kentucky ginger, boisterous, well endowed, and constantly speak Engrish

View attachment 7648947

I always love Japanese characters who are all OKAY YEAH AMERICA BABY

 

[crowabunga]

The designs seem lazy compared to gacha slop from nearly a decade ago
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I never understood the interest in these designs, if you take the robot parts off the chick it's a generic anime girl, and if you look at the robot parts without the coombait it's incongruously rearranged battleship parts.

Why not have proper cyborg horror girls with swappable mecha limbs? That could produce some really interesting designs and not all this "anime girl with a hardware store on her back" stuff.

Re:horses. Well I guess you can mix any animal with an anime girl and it just works. Now that this has proper Western exposure I think there's opportunity for more drama in relation to horse owners getting the ick and maybe even threatening action upon realizing coomers have made porn of the waifu versions of their horses.

 

[Crunchy Bone Sandwich]

I only build teams with the funniest horses but I'm running out of FUNNY horses. Whencan I expect other funny horses to be added? right now I have Gold Ship, Mejiro Ryan, Vodka, Taiki Shuttle, Bakushin , El Condor Pasa. Please, I just want to fill my team slots with eccentric funny horses.

I think Maruzensky is hilarious. Her boomer humor and references are really amusing.

 

[Asian tech support]

I always love Japanese characters who are all OKAY YEAH AMERICA BABY

Be the American the Japanese imagine you are.

 

[Cat tit bingo]

I really love the effort to make every design cover up where their human ears would be, doubled eared horse women would just be weird.

I never understood the interest in these designs, if you take the robot parts off the chick it's a generic anime girl, and if you look at the robot parts without the coombait it's incongruously rearranged battleship parts.

Why not have proper cyborg horror girls with swappable mecha limbs? That could produce some really interesting designs and not all this "anime girl with a hardware store on her back" stuff.

The asur lane and kentai collection characters are basically stand alone girls that can wear add-ons for the ship gimmicks, it feels very intentional how easy they are to separate. I'd much perfer mecha musume stuff like the old gundam girls or frame arm girls (yes, fag) even if they suffer from mainly being anime chicks with robot thigh highs, should lenth gloves and sometimes the awful giant backpacks.

 

[Judge Dredd]

Don't care about the game. I'm just here for the tourists (ie. woke people, cancel pigs, and bronies) who got mad on Twitter and Bluesky about it.

How does anime somehow become more and more cringe every year? This is really fucking embarassing

I don't get it either. Bring back my hyperviolent cyberpunk and athletic women with guns please.

 

[FlipTopBox]

Don't care about the game. I'm just here for the tourists (ie. woke people, cancel pigs, and bronies) who got mad on Twitter and Bluesky about it.

What did the twitteroids get mad about?

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

What did the twitteroids get mad about?

People having fun.

 

[Two Frogs]

And her ichigo pose
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So yeah she seems like best horse.

She does the Jerma Lion Pose when she wins too

I laughed extremely hard when I first saw her do this

I guess the appeal is that your horse girl will be the one singing whatever song? I don't know if they will sing any song or a set number of songs.

Yeah, when your horse wins she gets to be the star on the stage. So that's pretty cute, special costume and everything. There's different songs and stuff, I don't think every horse has a special "their" song but they do sing different songs.

What do you mean you don't like any songs?!

Bakushin funny but I just want to listen to something that is Miku quality when I see Vocaloid costumes

I agree with you about some of the other songs though. There's a lot of shit like "look how many times we can change keys in 10 seconds" going on in a few of them, which frustrated the hell out of me. Overall I think they did a good job of replicating the feeling of being at one of those concerts, which I'd never willingly attend but I respect the hustle.

I mean, I politely disagree here too. The viewpoint zooms around like a drone whose operator is smoking the bad meth. There is absolutely no energy. They don't even patch in crowd noise. It's low-effort slop and I hate that it's attached to an otherwise pretty good bit of media.

I always love Japanese characters who are all OKAY YEAH AMERICA BABY

She's really sweet too. She highly values family and in her story she tells you all about them. I also think it's intensely funny how she's an American from America who has an extremely strong Japanese accent. RETS GO EVELYBODY!!

But yeah I got into this specifically because Northern Lion of all people was playing it, and he's usually a pretty good indicator of quality in games. He found it just cringe enough to be embarrassing that he, a grown man with a wife and child, was playing it, but not so cringe that he straight up stopped playing. That's how I knew it wasn't going to be goonercoomer slopbait but actually had some substance to it.

There's like, a lot of "romance teasing" where some of the horses are like "ooooh I want to marry you player-san" but surprisingly there's also DIFFERENT relationship dynamics, which I honestly didn't expect. Rice Shower for example calls you Big Sibling and it's actually very sweet and not goonerish. And other horses are just focused on running and winning without being obsessed with player-san's pp. So I think that's actually a really strong point; it's an otome (friendship increasing) game that ACTUALLY isn't obsessed with romance and has more than 1 style of story in it.

I think what gives it staying power is that it feels "sincere". They're not trying to sell us anything other than the game, which is fun. It's not like they're trying desperately to hold interest by showing the girls in bikinis; they know the interest is in the racing and the characterization, so they don't have to shovel slop. It just is what it is without gimmicks and tricks to make people stay watching/playing. It stands on its own without NEEDING you the viewer to be in love with your waifu character and it doesn't push any one character too much. It feels refreshing after so so so many highly marketable Westernslop shovelshits that NEED you to think the main character is either fuckable or woke enough to be accepted. It is, dare I say, pvre.

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

I legit wonder if the devs can get the rights to foreign horses like American Pharoah.

The funniest part about this is that the Uma wiki lists the horses bloodlines in the IRL section and 9/10 the horse has an ancestor from America, Canada, Ireland, the UK, or France. As for getting the rights, that's another situation entirely.

 

[Jace on ice]

View attachment 7650180Be the American the Japanese imagine you are.

Every country belongs to America!

 

[Judge Dredd]

What did the twitteroids get mad about?

Tectone and Asmongold played the game. This resulted in "long time fans" acting as gatekeepers, fans who coincidently never mentioned the franchise until it blew up.

They are also mad people made fanart that doesn't respect the companies official fan art guidelines. ie. Porn. But art that violates the "no politics" guideline is okay.

 

[Two Frogs]

They are also mad people made fanart that doesn't respect the companies official fan art guidelines.

There's 9 gorillion uploads on danbooru already, that ship has sailed

 

[Back me up!]

Goldship being the bane of everyone's existence is hilarious.

Finding out the real history of the actual horse Gold Ship makes me wish I was able to see that agent of chaos live.

 

[I'm Retarded?]

Tectone and Asmongold played the game. This resulted in "long time fans" acting as gatekeepers, fans who coincidently never mentioned the franchise until it blew up.

to be fair - speaking as a long-time FFXIV nerd - Asmongoloid is a repulsive goblin who shits up everything he touches with his malign influence and legion of fell orcs that follow his every move. when he came to FFXIV, it was a brief boon for the developers (they had to stop selling the game to keep the servers from getting overloaded), but he came with a flood of some of the most deeply unpleasant motherfuckers I've ever shared a game with. Asmongold himself sucked at the game and misrepresented it a lot, had retarded beef with a bunch of people and then ragequit the game because his raid group couldn't carry his stupid ass through the endgame content, lol. his army of retards soon followed suit. if I myself was deeply invested in Honse Women, I would also be gnashing my teeth at the news that Asmongold of all people has suddenly become interested in my Thing

 

[Rango Dango]

i swear this game is an industry plant or something
the other day i saw people like vargskelethor joel and FUCKING RARRAN A HEARTHSTONE PLAYER play this shit

i may try it though i used to nolife pocket card jockey like 10 years ago

 

[Enig]

You guys don’t get it, Super Creek is a super creep, she made me play goo goo babies in the SWELTERING SUMMER of 1992

 

[Generic Anime Girl]

i’ve been playing for a week and i still cant get to the URA finale the west has fallen

 

[That Chris Guy]

So come one, come all and spin a yarn of how you trained Sakura Bakushin O from nothing to something. Regale us with the tale of how much money you spent on El Condor Pasa because it's funny that she's on team Spica which kinda sounds like how a nip would say spic. Lament as you tell your tale as a terrible trainer who tanked tragic Transcend's career. Have fun, don't spend too much money, and remember that horse fuckers get a shotgun blast to the head faster than Rice Shower.

How about I enlighten you with the story of how I looked at this OP and avoided this junk like the plague?

...that's pretty much it.

 

[RomanianSchizo]

My irl best friend told me about this game the other day and now there's a thread for it on Kiwi Farms. Is it really so popular?
The game looks interesting, I like the part where they run. I would download it, but I always hesitate to play games like these because they tend to target gooners, and I'm not a gooner.