Jason Thor Hall / PirateSoftware / Maldavius Figtree / DarkSphere Creations / Maldavius / Thorwich / Witness X / @PotatoSec - Incompetent Furry Programmer, Blizzard Nepo Baby, Lies about almost every thing in his life, Industry Shill, Carried by his father, Hate boner against Ross Scott of Accursed Farms, False Flagger

[TrainWreckWatcher]

, or CWC in terms of sexual shit for example,

I dunno, I think there's a dark hole with this guy on sexual shit.
I guess people would have come out about it after SKG if so unless they're no longer with us.
But man I get the feeling he's done some nasty things.

I got some bad news, the voting is rigged. There is a certain Minnesota non-practicing lawyer that is going to win, the best I see Thor doing is winning the Internet Famous category.

I dunno Nick would need the footage to come out this year. I think that's gonna be slogged through the courts.
And I say this as a person who really thought we were gonna have Nick having the Hat Trick.

 

[Unimaginative Username]

I dunno Nick would need the footage to come out this year. I think that's gonna be slogged through the courts.
And I say this as a person who really thought we were gonna have Nick having the Hat Trick.

Even if the bodycam footage isn't released this year, there's still plenty of time for him to murder Aaron Imholte and/or his own family and try to use "Aaron ate my goo" as his defense. The rate at which he's losing any and all inhibitions against self-destruction is impressive, though Mald might actually be beating him on that front at the rate he's actively banning his sycophantic audience for not being sycophantic enough.

 

[Rockzo]

I was taking a look at the stats for this thread on the subforum: 20k replies, +4M views. To put this in comparison:

• Karl Jobst - 5k replies, 891K views. Thread created: April 7, 2025
• Pippa - 3k replies, 542K views. Thread created: July 22, 2024
• AVGN - 10k replies, 2M views. Thread created: Dec 31, 2018
• r/livestreamfail - 5k replies, 902k views. Thread created: July 24, 2023
• Mr Beast - 3k replies, 439k views. Thread created: July 26, 2024
• IP2 community - 21k replies, 3M views. Thread created: Dec 2, 2020
• Linus Tech Tips - 12k replies, 2M views. Thread created: May 12, 2022
• Wings of Redemption - 12k replies, 2M views. Thread created: Oct 28, 2014
• Jim Sterling - 30k replies, 6M views. Thread created: Nov 22, 2016
• Youtube commentary - 9k replies, 2M views. Thread created: Mar 1, 2021
• Fish Tank - 81k replies, 10M views. Thread created: April 19, 2023

Jason's thread growth has been amazing for this year. Not only is he beating anything made in the past few years, he's also pass community threads like IP2 and youtube commentary. He's also rivaling old threads like Wings and Sterling.
4 million views too also suggests a higher number than average people who've viewed the thread but not commented in it.

 

[TrainWreckWatcher]

Even if the bodycam footage isn't released this year, there's still plenty of time for him to murder Aaron Imholte and/or his own family and try to use "Aaron ate my goo" as his defense. The rate at which he's losing any and all inhibitions against self-destruction is impressive, though Mald might actually be beating him on that front at the rate he's actively banning his sycophantic audience for not being sycophantic enough.

It's really a race between who can destroy themselves the fastest while Bossman jack does crack and gambles in the background.

 

[Hit Squad]

Have there been anything about Chronos?
the head moderator or moderator of Pirate Software
the guy who is at his beck and call to "sue" everyone he dislikes,
the british copyright lawyer.

That's the problem with Maldo's walking talking fleshlight. He's so fucking boring that everyone forgets him. Dude is a shitter unworthy of his own thread. He's relegated to being a sidepiece in Maldo's life forever (always the bridesmaid...).

Which is unfortunate for him, because I think he's given up his job as a 'legal aid' in the citizen's advice bureau and became a full time paid mod for the Maldster. So when that ship sinks, he's going down on it like a Wop immigrant on the Titanic.

Looks like he's also trying his hand at full time streaming (youtube and twitch), mirroring his master for similiar time periods. That's around 11 hours, during the normal UK working day which kind of backs up him handing in his notice/getting fired, or he's spending his vacation time streaming to 10 people instead of booking a holiday to Spain like every other normal fucking person.



I hope, for his own sake, he at least works part-time irl, cos his audience appears to be veiwer crumbs that Maldo graciously flicked off his own table. Khronos here is real grateful for this benevolance and shows how much he loves his master in subtle ways like this:



At this point, the guy is memeing on himself.

Meanwhile in Maldoland: Men wanna fuck him, Women want to BE him!

Preserve tube failed me...

 

[fiddlecauliflower]

And the extra funny part is that the textbox portrait assets never needed the artist to manually add 30px top padding, 10px bottom padding. If Jason had any fucking idea of how to code UI, he could just align every portrait himself and never ever have to annoy the artist about it. Absolutely worthless little man he is, as always

This is the insane part about the padding. Shit man you should be able to do custom padding for any of these portraits if this dumbfuck doesn't have an actual style guide. I can't believe his fans found this amusing this is so fucking inept on his part.

 

[cigint]

I was taking a look at the stats for this thread on the subforum: 20k replies, +4M views. To put this in comparison:

We shouldnt't even look at the number of posts or pages as a metric. Number of views per capita instead, or maybe Null can track outgoing referrals and do some kind of sticker count math magic. Stressing the number of posts just generates garbage replies that drowns out content; we've just had over a page of replies that essentially just say "yay 1000 pages".

You the reader are exempt of course, your reply was great.

 

[Hooked on phobics]

i've just noticed yet another retarded claim of his relating to his dogshit ""raytracing"" lighting algorithm

The CLAIM ITSELF he made is late, but your insight is not. Honestly his weird ass fucking claim about being usable for obscure shit PC's who somehow can handle thousands of checks but NOT run shaders I kinda shrugged off but I suppose I could fucking believe this (im not super tech literate mind you), but this does make this look way dumber, since it doesn't even accomplish its goal whatsoever.

And I can't help but point to the intravenous comparison again as far as lighting goes, as this was brought up before his thread even had 100 pages. that even for "any" raytraced lighting, its pretty pathetic.

I'm also realizing now, early in the thread I GUESSED at a way he did it with a lower gamma shadow sprite that NORMALLY blends into the shadows, but shows up in the light section because of the gamma difference....and I just realized I, a man with literally no programming skills, probably suggested a MORE EFFICIENT shadow method for that, which would leave 0 discernible difference.

Even if the bodycam footage isn't released this year, there's still plenty of time for him to murder Aaron Imholte and/or his own family and try to use "Aaron ate my goo" as his defense. The rate at which he's losing any and all inhibitions against self-destruction is impressive, though Mald might actually be beating him on that front at the rate he's actively banning his sycophantic audience for not being sycophantic enough.

you aren't wrong, but I'm fucking sick of him winning. Nick rekieta fucked his life up, what else is new.

I ALMOST wish there was a degree of julays affirmative action, like previous year winners face a voting DISADVANTAGE, like 25% less votes counted, so they can still WIN, but nick winning year after year (probably) wont happen. I know the lifetime achievment awards helped, but its a shame when just 1 cow owns the spotlight too much.

I also hope voters really consider the normie hate, as crazy as nick is, most don't know him, less knew about his fall, or care. I pray the voters really consider that, because that really is special.

I was taking a look at the stats for this thread on the subforum: 20k replies, +4M views. To put this in comparison:

• Karl Jobst - 5K replies, 891K views. Thread created: April 7, 2025
• Pippa - 3K replies, 542K views. Thread created: July 22, 2024
• AVGN - 10k replies, 2M views. Thread created: Dec 31, 2018
• r/livestreamfail - 5k replies, 902k views. Thread created: July 24, 2023
• Mr Beast - 3k replies, 439k views. Thread created: July 26, 2024
• IP2 community - 21k replies, 3M views. Thread created: Dec 2, 2020
• Linus Tech Tips - 12k replies, 2M views. Thread created: May 12, 2022
• Wings of Redemption - 12k replies, 2M views. Thread created: Oct 28, 2014
• Jim Sterling - 30k replies, 6M views. Thread created: Nov 22, 2016
• Youtube commentary - 9k replies, 2M views. Thread created: Mar 1, 2021
• Fish Tank - 81k replies, 10M views. Thread created: April 19, 2023

Jason's thread growth has been amazing for this year. Not only is he beating anything made in the past few years, he's also pass community threads like IP2 and youtube commentary. He's also rivaling old threads like Wings and Sterling.
4 million views too also suggests a higher number than average people who've viewed the thread but not commented in it.

This too. IRONICALLY ENOUGH, hes a lot like the crew, the game which kicked all this in motion.

Remember the part where ross says the crew is mediocre BS EXCEPT for the scale, which is astronomical????

I feel like some could say this applies to mald to a degree. Hes NOT the most insane lolcow, or the most disgusting, Nor does he constantly make new content which is insane like bossman jack (IM GONNA FUCK A DUDE) but he HITS IT OUT OF THE PARK for normies and kiwi farms being roughly on the same page.

 

[TrainWreckWatcher]

A crosspost from the Vtuber thread, but a depressed anime nurse with big tits took time to shit on mald on his birthday and it has made me laugh so hard.

https://kiwifarms.st/threads/genera...youtubers-vtubers-chuubas.69525/post-22013841

It's just a short section of the stream so I don't really know if its possible to archive JUST that part so my apologies for not archiving it.

 

[TheGhoulaIsHim]

kinda get the feeling Dr. K knew exactly what was wrong with him and also knew he wasn't going to be able to help him lmao

20 minutes in you can see Dr. K struggling to hold back. He knew almost immediately.

 

[cigint]

A crosspost from the Vtuber thread, but a depressed anime nurse with big tits took time to shit on mald on his birthday and it has made me laugh so hard.

https://kiwifarms.st/threads/genera...youtubers-vtubers-chuubas.69525/post-22013841

It's just a short section of the stream so I don't really know if its possible to archive JUST that part so my apologies for not archiving it.

I'll play itogi's advocate. Video downscaled to potato because who cares.

 

[Roachbound]

I need the VOD of his 2025 hype train attempt on april fools(april 1st), does anyone have that? I think there is very damning stuff in that vod that mald accidentally showed onscreen, making him delete it instantly afterwards.

 

[Stickplant]

Jason's dad code is better than his

View attachment 7655749

View attachment 7655774

And he admitted that he was never a coder and just learned some of it on the side and would have to learn GameMaker from scratch. Which he did, and this is where he is at now.

I don't know if he did this to spite Jason but he sure as hell is making him look even worse every single time he actually works on his game - on stream even.

 

[MercuryMan]

And he admitted that he was never a coder and just learned some of it on the side and would have to learn GameMaker from scratch. Which he did, and this is where he is at now.

I don't know if he did this to spite Jason but he sure as hell is making him look even worse every single time he actually works on his game - on stream even.

Some on the side is much more than someone who barely writes code at the last day of every month.
The difference is night and day.

 

[米津玄師]

he HITS IT OUT OF THE PARK for normies

He's like a perfect storm of hateable traits for normies. This has been elucidated upon way better earlier in the thread, but so far (and as far as I've picked up from this thread), he has:

• Displayed narcissistic tendencies
• Lied about his competence while being completely incompetent at what he does for a living
• Fucked up other streamers'/influencers' livelihoods (mana gem incident and SKG drama)
• Refused to own up to the above mistakes and keeps doubling down
• Never stopped bringing up how his dad works at Blizzard or how he's "in the know" with other people at Blizzard
• Spent 8 years developing a shitty game with nothing to show for it and keeps making excuses for his lack of progress
• Emotionally manipulative towards his pooner wife (big no-no for the left)
• Coerced a much younger person into furry ERP sex with him
• For those who know the ferret lore, he preaches animal love while killing animals out of carelessness behind the scenes

Adding all of that up, he's narcissistic, prone to lying and bragging, uncooperative, unapologetic, nepotistic, procrastinating, manipulative, sexually deviant, and abusive to loved ones and animals. Excluding the last one (abusive to animals), these are all common personality traits that almost everyone in the world has encountered once in their lives. Most of the time, you'll encounter only a couple of these traits in others. Hell, some of the people hating him might have those traits themselves. And with Mald, all of them are present at the same time, while he consistently refuses to apologize. Look through any sloptuber video and the point that they bring up most often with Mald is that he quintuples down on everything. That's why half-assed apology videos are constantly made fun of. We all want to see the bad guy apologize.

Personally—you can all hit me with your scouter reactions for this—but I think the fact that he hasn't done anything with his game in eight years would hit the hardest for a lot of people (myself included) 'cause there's a lot of people who are like that. Always putting your shit on the backburner or being stuck in a certain point in your life because of depression, lack of motivation, laziness and bad work ethic that you're aware of but have trouble overcoming, etc. For those people, it's a very grim reminder of what people like this can end up becoming as Mald is almost 40 and has done nothing except lie, grift, and take advantage of people who know nothing about him. But, as we all know, although Mald is lazy as fuck, he's (probably) not depressed or unmotivated. So take those sympathetic motivations away and you're just left with a lazy slob who realized that keeping your game forever in early access makes more money than actually releasing it.

But it's not just that he's hateable on a personal level for a lot people; it's the fact that he's also a very acceptable target to hate/laugh at. He can be a streamer who's a big whiny nepo baby who shoves garden gnomes up his asshole and he'd pass under everyone's radar. But add "spent 8 years developing a game with less progress than Yandere Sim" and "bullied the underdog (Ross/SKG)" (while adding a pinch of "never apologizes ever") and that's a guaranteed recipe for becoming Lolcow of the Year.

TL;DR: Mald isn't just a faggot but he's an exceptional breed of superfaggot with almost cherry-picked levels of commonly-hateable traits.

 

[Hillbilly Slim]

And he admitted that he was never a coder and just learned some of it on the side and would have to learn GameMaker from scratch. Which he did, and this is where he is at now.

I don't know if he did this to spite Jason but he sure as hell is making him look even worse every single time he actually works on his game - on stream even.

It might sound stupid, but depending on the timeline of Joeyray picking up Gamemaker and learning how to use it, that might actually be the reason he didn't call his dad for his birthday.

Narcissists really are that petty. "He's copying me and doing better at it. I hate him! "

Dude this stupid nigger just said on stream that it would be masturbatory to update to GML 2.0 because the game can "run on a smart fridge", and doesn't need a performance boost. This is the same guy who defended his array because it's "20% faster".

1.x. jason already updated heartbound to gamemaker 2.0 a while ago.

Honestly I thought I was losing my mind for a second.

Does this guy not remember fucking saying this shit, or does he know most people in his chat probably never even played his dogshit game, and are only there because dad never came back with the milk?

 

[Mr. Johnson]

At 420 days, Jason is the 6th fastest individual cow to hit 1000 pages. He comes in behind DSP (112 days), Keffals (147), emoboyfucker69 (290), Brianna Wu (321), and The Bossman (32. He managed to beat some heavy hitters like Nick Fuentes (457), Russel Greer (463), Jonathan Yaniv (48, Dobson (542), and Chantal (666), and he's surpassed his longtime role model: YandereDev (683).

I was taking a look at the stats for this thread on the subforum: 20k replies, +4M views. To put this in comparison:

• Karl Jobst - 5K replies, 891K views. Thread created: April 7, 2025
• Pippa - 3K replies, 542K views. Thread created: July 22, 2024
• AVGN - 10k replies, 2M views. Thread created: Dec 31, 2018
• r/livestreamfail - 5k replies, 902k views. Thread created: July 24, 2023
• Mr Beast - 3k replies, 439k views. Thread created: July 26, 2024
• IP2 community - 21k replies, 3M views. Thread created: Dec 2, 2020
• Linus Tech Tips - 12k replies, 2M views. Thread created: May 12, 2022
• Wings of Redemption - 12k replies, 2M views. Thread created: Oct 28, 2014
• Jim Sterling - 30k replies, 6M views. Thread created: Nov 22, 2016
• Youtube commentary - 9k replies, 2M views. Thread created: Mar 1, 2021
• Fish Tank - 81k replies, 10M views. Thread created: April 19, 2023

Jason's thread growth has been amazing for this year. Not only is he beating anything made in the past few years, he's also pass community threads like IP2 and youtube commentary. He's also rivaling old threads like Wings and Sterling.
4 million views too also suggests a higher number than average people who've viewed the thread but not commented in it.

I've mostly been a lurker on kf, but why don't people list the Bella Janke thread in these examples? Because it was a special case of concentrated godspeed autism related to CWC?

 

[A ghoul teaching his son]

20 minutes in you can see Dr. K struggling to hold back. He knew almost immediately.

Even back during his first interview with Jason, where Jason still kept his wholesome chungus persona, I think Dr. K mentions there's something off. It's been a while since I saw it, and from memory there's a lot of talk about perceptions and stuff like that. Definitely not as fun as the most recent one so I won't be rewatching it soon.

 

[Aurellia Spaghettellia]

But it's not just that he's hateable on a personal level for a lot people; it's the fact that he's also a very acceptable target to hate/laugh at. He can be a streamer who's a big whiny nepo baby who shoves garden gnomes up his asshole and he'd pass under everyone's radar. But add "spent 8 years developing a game with less progress than Yandere Sim" and "bullied the underdog (Ross/SKG)" (while adding a pinch of "never apologizes ever") and that's a guaranteed recipe for becoming Lolcow of the Year.

TL;DR: Mald isn't just a faggot but he's an exceptional breed of superfaggot with almost cherry-picked levels of commonly-hateable traits.

He also had, even if not for long, a relatively high degree of normie acceptance and trust, especially compared to a typical lolcow. That adds to the downfall and backfire power, and of course our enjoyment.

 

[Burnt Effigy]

literally any dedicated gpu made after 2004 and any integrated gpu made after 2010 (probably even earlier, i remember i managed to run hotline miami 2 on a laptop with an integrated gpu released before "intel hd integrated graphics" were even a thing) can build shaders. the fixed function pipeline way of drawing shit to the screen was effectively abandoned in ~2004 with directx 9 and above (yet it still works and it is usable for legacy reasons).

The last gpu without Vertex shaders from Intel was the GMA X3000, released in 2006. It came in chipsets associated with Pentium D, and Core 2 Duo.

The last CPU with igpu support for non-Vertex-shaded gpus was the Pentium 4, which was out of sale in 2008.

When heartbound started, it would have been at least 8 years since the last sale of a new Pentium 4 system, and by the time of early access (late December 2018 ) it would have been 10.

And, remember, that's for vertex shaders. Pixel shaders were supported as far as 2000, and Intels's last non-pixel-shaded gpu was back in 2002, with the GMA 900.

Quite literally zero excuse.