Jason Thor Hall / PirateSoftware / Maldavius Figtree / DarkSphere Creations / Maldavius / Thorwich / Witness X / @PotatoSec - Incompetent Furry Programmer, Blizzard Nepo Baby, Lies about almost every thing in his life, Industry Shill, Carried by his father, Hate boner against Ross Scott of Accursed Farms, False Flagger

[Nintoddler]

I'm happy to know Mald finally decided to join the thread.

 

[Vince McMahon]

If retards want to maldguard, maybe consider this: your charge is intelligent enough to know the consequences of his actions, but he does them anyway. He's a perfect lolcow for me -- not mentally ill in the traditional sense (narcissism is very much a high-functioning disorder), cognizant of his actions, doubles/triples down on his decision, chooses perfectly normal people who didn't cause him harm and harms them. He's like an asocial element, a criminal in all but name. He fits the mould of a classical criminal, who should be isolated.

 

[Lvkester Endorser]

It's unlikely that they didn't know who he was. Earlier in the thread, someone pointed out he is credited as Additional Testing in World of Warcraft's manual. World of Warcraft released in 2004. That was almost 21 years ago. Mald is 37 (or is it 38 now?) years old. He was 16 or 17 years old at the time. I doubt Blizzard hired people under 18, so this testing must have been arranged via Joeyray, or perhaps he was part of the Friends and Family Alpha of World of Warcraft. I think it's fair to assume whoever signed off on the credits knew about him. So he wasn't entirely unknown to the organization.

Though it's hard to estimate how widely it would be known. Post-WoW, Blizzard was much bigger, and I find it completely plausible that a particular manager would have no idea.

This (along with his dad working there) probably helped him land a QA job he wasn't even that good at, over someone more deserving. That, kids, is nepotism. Mald pretending he is not a nepo baby ignores this and many more instances of him benefitting from being his dad's son.

And he can't even text his old man a happy birthday...

 

[Pierre D'Olnique]

Its kinda funny how 2 content creators have the same trajectory with how similar they are.

- Both soar high at the peak of everyone's mentions
- Both thinks themselves to be the 2nd coming of Jesus but better
- Both larp with deep voice settings
- Both begins to fumble and fuck up
- Both incapable of taking accountability and admit wrongdoing and blame everyone else
- Both being obliterated by the internet as they keep falling and continually make asses of themselves
- Both threatens to be litigious to anyone who critiques them.
- Both use ChatGPT for legal advice (No way Chronos is a real lawyer)

yeah Jason Thor Hall and Max Stryker (Mamamax) are so similar

I thought you were going to say Karl Jobst, lmao.

 

[AN/ALR56]

This guy isn't evil. He's just extremely, extremely hateable.

I disagree, he isn't evil as Nick bate, or CWC in terms of sexual shit for example, or Nick Rekieta because he gave his children cocaine and fucked someone in front of them while they starved.

But he is a megalomaniac liar who grifted for his entire life and is so enamored with being this former blizzard genius persona, that he was willing to shit on the one of the last public actions to stop the destruction of a entire genre of entertainment, if he won he'd have done similar damage to free speech, technology that the music industry did when they went after mp3s and Napster back in the 1990s or how studios and television tried to kill home recordings and basically making VHS or cassette tapes ilegal in the 1970s-1980s, something that ended with a single majority vote in support of personal recordings in the supreme court, imagine how life would be if it was ilegal to tape a radio program or your favorite show on tv and all the technology derived from that would never be able to commercially exist, imagine being that if you wanted to watch a film again, you needed to be lucky enough to wait for a tv station to rerun it, at the time you can be home or going to the cinema during it's run otherwise it's gone forever because DVDs never existed?


Imagine if instead of shooting up some college girls, Mr supreme gentleman used his Hollywood connections because his dad was a famous director of cinematography for several big films and massive narcissism to implode actions such as preserving old films, or making them prohibitively expensive to stream, or buying out old film IPs for decades just to lock them out of public consumption for decades, or somehow fucking up YouTube copyright law to make it impossible to review or discuss films, heck he goes the h3h3 route and manages to ban RLM for speaking shit about his dad's films because he is connected to higher ups.

Sure a lobbyist for tobacco or the military industrial complex isn't personally responsible for murder, or as bad as CWC fucking his own mother in itself, but I'd argue they are a part of something much worse and that affects much more lives than they could ever hurt by their own hands.

That's the kind of evil malding figtree was able to produce before his downfall.

 

[Disastrously Dumb]

I thought you were going to say Karl Jobst, lmao.

Ah i forgot about him
so now we have 3 people who had the same storyline

 

[Lvkester Endorser]

Its kinda funny how 2 content creators have the same trajectory with how similar they are.

- Both soar high at the peak of everyone's mentions
- Both thinks themselves to be the 2nd coming of Jesus but better
- Both larp with deep voice settings
- Both begins to fumble and fuck up
- Both incapable of taking accountability and admit wrongdoing and blame everyone else
- Both being obliterated by the internet as they keep falling and continually make asses of themselves
- Both threatens to be litigious to anyone who critiques them.
- Both use ChatGPT for legal advice (No way Chronos is a real lawyer)

yeah Jason Thor Hall and Max Stryker (Mamamax) are so similar

Both fat and I wouldn't have sex with neither of them.

 

[troonshine]

Our yearly voooot is starting to spread @Null

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYGh07D8QBU

 

[canalCrab]

Having a reasonable and proportional response on the Internet is not an option according to retards on the Internet.

"Hey I fucked up" would've been a reasonable/proportional response to any individual mald drama. He consistently failed to do that and instead chose to lean into it by announcing bans/digging up banned peoples comments. He is a narcissitic nepo baby incapable of figuring that out.

So, yes, in this case, it's actually not an option.

kinda get the feeling Dr. K knew exactly what was wrong with him and also knew he wasn't going to be able to help him lmao

You can't help get a narcissist help themselves.

Probably going to see a lot more stupid niggers crawling this thread now, talking about how Mald is "not that bad".

Coming to a thread whose sole intent is to hate the man, and trying to minimize him, is a big 0/10. Go back go Mald's Discord.

I have some sympathy for him because he's mentally ill. But that serves as an explanation, not an excuse, just like any other mental illness.

I wasn't aware that Steam flags games in early access as abandonware if updates are less frequent as 13 months. That was new to me. Mald really have the audacity to say he is "writing" a game when game isn't touched for more than a year.

Thats a fairly recent change

It is also baffling that any critique about his l33t coding skills he needs to take down with superiority complex. I wouldn't give a damn if he said that most of his experience in game dev was in QA and he had little to none exposition to code and thus is why Heartbound takes so much to make. But it seems that he is also unaware what a spaghetti code he compiled and with each and extra "ending" or branch of the story it is harder and harder to follow. I have little understanding in coding so I watched few Youtuber's covering this topic, and I got to admit that Mald just cornered himself with structure and method that is making any progress unfeasible.

And he's too self assured to actually seek out basic programming tutorials

Actually, the opposite.
The task of making a simple video game is hurdling him because he never put thought about the structure of the game. He would be cutting corners if he had a glimpse of what he is doing and trying to achieve. At this moment, he just spams lines of code piling up code that I doubt he even fully grasp.

The data of a program is SO MUCH more important than the functions in it. Well designed data structures can easily 100x your efficiency. He has no idea about even the most basic

 

[Hooked on phobics]

Our yearly voooot is starting to spread

THIS is why I am confident he will win julays. In 1 year going from FUCKING NOBODY to CELEBRITY to LOLCOW is such a spread it would make the doom 3 shotgun blush. More importantly, it can't be overstated how notable it is for a lolcow to not JUST be hated here (thats easy as fuck lets be honest) but hated in so MANY normie spheres that even trannies are liking nulls post dunking on pirate soft. Thats NOT impossible, but thats lolcow history tier, when trannies and null agree on FUCKING ANYTHING

Perhaps the real winners were the slop-tubers we met along the way...

Also feel like this picture sums it up so well, and this isn't even a decent fraction of all the videos on him. Its a GREAT visual, especially when you realize perhaps all of those were made in the span of maybe a week??? More than anything I feel this sums up in the most condensed way how much he was getting blasted in the normie sphere.

He was mentioned on kf, twitter, youtube, by sloptubers, bluesky, even times of india even talked about him

TLDR; Malds lolcow secret sauce was the normies entirely hating him, and uniting everyone against him.

 

[Mettaur]

kinda get the feeling Dr. K knew exactly what was wrong with him and also knew he wasn't going to be able to help him lmao

you don't need a degree to know the smug asshole saying "everyone else is wrong I'm the only correct one" is full of shit.

 

[canalCrab]

you don't need a degree to know the smug asshole saying "everyone else is wrong I'm the only correct one" is full of shit.

It takes a VERY well versed person to even manage to get a single crack into it. Doctor k managed that, but didn't manage to actually get jason to actually recognize it as something beneficial and thus jason patched it up and went with his old ways.

 

[cigint]

He 100% took some of Shaye's prescription testosterone supplements to alter his voice. And these old clips really drive home the fact that the things he says have always been these same kind of inane Redditisms, but the voice change just hypnotizes people.

 

[Shekel Puff]

So I just saw this on a video UNRELATED to Mald in any way shape or form. Just a video of a solo indie dev talking about progress on his passion project.

Spoiler: The video itself if anyone's interested

 

[Mad_Dog]

Our yearly voooot is starting to spread @Null

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYGh07D8QBU

View attachment 7658665

We're half-way in and we already have 3 solid contenders between Karl Jobst, idubbbz, and Pirate Software who is leading by an impressive margin

 

[PrestonHolt]

Getting back on topic, I have a feeling the only reason Maldy wants to do some ARG related bullshit with Heartbound is because in his endless pursuit to skinwalk as Toby Fox, he wants to try and ape the Spamton Sweepstake stuff Toby did for Deltarune. The key difference being that Toby had a decent budget and team, and the event had the gimmick of being able to find sneak peeks for future Deltarune stuff on the website. Of course nobody gives a shit about Heartbound’s future updates (especially not Mald with how glacial his progress working on it is), so whatever he shits out, if anything, will be dead on arrival.

Feel free to give me late stickers if someone already pointed this out earlier.

Thats probably a big part, also its easier for him to sit in ferret rape dunegon and think of "cleaver" ways to do ARG than sit down and code, his problem is that the hype is long dead, last spike in popularity HB got was most likely thanks to Harmfull buying and playing it. If Jason were smart enough to do ARG 7-6 years ago, sure, it would probably work great, but you can't update your game/arg once every 2years and expect hype to stay at high lvl, he shitted on Coding Hesus for using profound name, yet in his mind im sure he sees himself on similar lvl.

 

[Massive Retard]

late react me if someone already mentioned this but i've just noticed yet another retarded claim of his relating to his dogshit ""raytracing"" lighting algorithm

- gamemaker 2.0+ hard requires your system to be able to compile shaders, as far as i can tell they flat out dropped the option that enabled cpu vertex processing from gamemaker 1.x. jason already updated heartbound to gamemaker 2.0 a while ago.
- if your computer can't compile shaders, you can't even run windows 10, which is a hard dependency of steam, the only storefront where he actively distributes his game (he abandoned every other platform as soon as he released on steam and gave everyone that bought on itch/whatever else a steam key).
- literally any dedicated gpu made after 2004 and any integrated gpu made after 2010 (probably even earlier, i remember i managed to run hotline miami 2 on a laptop with an integrated gpu released before "intel hd integrated graphics" were even a thing) can build shaders. the fixed function pipeline way of drawing shit to the screen was effectively abandoned in ~2004 with directx 9 and above (yet it still works and it is usable for legacy reasons).

so, he's either lying or stupid enough to actually believe what he's saying here.
- if he's lying, it again exposes just how fucking stupid he is and how little idea he has about his own game and the game engine it uses. not surprising, but still funny and noteworthy.
- if he's not lying, he's delusional enough to think that his pixel by pixel algorithm runs faster than doing this with a shader, which is basically a hard requirement of his own fucking game. (keep in mind, the gpu is literally made for pixel by pixel calculations)

and of course he mentions the POOR POOR BRAZILIANS that totally exist and don't have 5 bucks for a used second hand GPU that can compile shaders but somehow have enough money to buy his dogshit undertale clone.

 

[roach69]

kinda get the feeling Dr. K knew exactly what was wrong with him and also knew he wasn't going to be able to help him lmao

 

[canalCrab]

View attachment 7658890

Cant forget about this gem.

 

[30+GameOvers]

Our yearly voooot is starting to spread @Null

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYGh07D8QBU

View attachment 7658665

I got some bad news, the voting is rigged. There is a certain Minnesota non-practicing lawyer that is going to win, the best I see Thor doing is winning the Internet Famous category.