Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Super Hans v2]

Don't worry, Jack will totally get that CIA guy, Tucker Carlson, and Donald Trump on his show because he's a celebrity chef (according to himself)

Ngl, I'd probably piss myself laughing if the spook had him and Shrek on, but not as as much as Jack would be his eyes by the end of it.

 

[the khat quaffer]

In his livestream this morning (around 2:30-3:00 minutes in), he said he bet $40 on the Raiders to win the Super Bowl this year in hopes it'll pay out thousands.

$40? Talk about high rolling. He better pray the other team catches the Nigerian monkey pox or something.
Of course, if he wanted a sure thing he should just serve the other team some of Aunt Myrna's party salad the night before the big game.

It's as simple as chest thrusts. That's why it's so important to have a few bariatric manikins at a CPR class.
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That looks like something Jack would put on his Christmas list.

 

[Spasticus Autisticus]

On Saturday's live stream, Jack gives one weird trick to checking into a hotel room early: tell them you are diabetic and you have some insulin that needs to be refrigerated or you'll die. He then talks about how housekeeping doesn't deserve to get tipped. His chatters (including one of his mods) point out how this is not Christ-like, and he predictably gets angry and defensive.

 

[Adamska]

If you can't just stick it out and enjoy the ride as every other sports show on earth gives WAY too much airtime to your "iconic" team, then you are, as @the khat quaffer said, absolutely bitchmade.

I've said it before; Jack's a fat faggot fairweather fan. He only chases teams that he bothered to learn about that won, and guess what the Raiders and Cowboys did in his childhood and during his young adult period where he was expected to act manly? Win. Because that shit was the 1970s to 1990s.

Also I have absolutely nothing to complain about when it comes to the pizza horns. Sure they look fucking hideous, but I'm assuming that's because Jack is shittastically bad at lighting. It's one of a very few things I think are edible that he made. However, I'd not be shocked if he somehow left tortillas somewhere so long they did become moldy.

 

[AltisticRight]

On Saturday's live stream, Jack gives one weird trick to checking into a hotel room early: tell them you are diabetic and you have some insulin that needs to be refrigerated or you'll die. He then talks about how housekeeping doesn't deserve to get tipped. His chatters (including one of his mods) point out how this is not Christ-like, and he predictably gets angry and defensive.

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Why can't he have another stroke?

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

I've said it before; Jack's a fat faggot fairweather fan. He only chases teams that he bothered to learn about that won, and guess what the Raiders and Cowboys did in his childhood and during his young adult period where he was expected to act manly? Win. Because that shit was the 1970s to 1990s.

Also I have absolutely nothing to complain about when it comes to the pizza horns. Sure they look fucking hideous, but I'm assuming that's because Jack is shittastically bad at lighting. It's one of a very few things I think are edible that he made. However, I'd not be shocked if he somehow left tortillas somewhere so long they did become moldy.

You’d think that the “snamsnung Studio Kitchen” would have had been built as an actual studio…..

Instead it’s a horrible setup for any sort of actual video production. Terrible sound and lighting and zero attention paid set design. He could have had all of the lighting and camera angles figured out ahead of time. But he didn’t. He can’t even open the damn fridge fully or show different camera angles. It’s just that one terrible angle of his stupid blood-stained dried out tree stump cutting board that looks like shit and has a bacteria colony growing under it.

Max Miller has a proper “studio” kitchen in his residence as does Babish and numerous other YouTuber cooks and chefs . Jack’s first TN home had a much better setup.

What a fat retard.

 

[densedance]

Everyone wish HamTam a Happy Birthday! Below is what Jack posted along with a couple of these horrifying photos.

"I love my wife Tammy Flanders Scalfani so much it hurts. She is the reason I am anything. Can’t imagine life without her. Growing old with her is like winning the lottery. I wish you a beautiful birthday today. Happy Birthday honey. May God bless your steps in life and may I stand by you for support. She makes beautiful children, too."

Holy shit. You can tell how "proud" he is and how important he sees himself behind this Microphone. Smug retard.

 

[Tiresome]

He then talks about how housekeeping doesn't deserve to get tipped.

I used to think Jack was one of those evangelical pieces of shit, along with Tammy, that would be the type to leave a church tract in place of a tip, but now it's clear he's not even that high on the scale. At least those people think in some profoundly retarded way that they're leaving something more valuable than 20% of the bill. Jack views church AND service personnel the same way he views Tammy, his children, YouTube or the entire universe, as only there to serve Lord God Fatstrokes, and if they can't manage that without something in return, they can go fuck themselves.

 

[the khat quaffer]

On Saturday's live stream, Jack gives one weird trick to checking into a hotel room early: tell them you are diabetic and you have some insulin that needs to be refrigerated or you'll die. He then talks about how housekeeping doesn't deserve to get tipped. His chatters (including one of his mods) point out how this is not Christ-like, and he predictably gets angry and defensive.

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What a very un-Christlike video, Jack.

The first six minutes are the usual insufferable boomer garbage, then he goes into tard rage mode, so ...worth it, I guess.

The "pretend to be diabetic thing" almost got me mad. Have another stroke you fucking beanbag. This is the kind of shit that godjesus comes down and plagues you things in life as an ironic punishment, jack.

If someone changes your sheets, fixes your pillows, basically acts as a surrogate Tammy, then leaving a $1-2 tip (as Jack said he might do) is an insult, just leave nothing at all. Better yet, when you leave, just leave your room resembling something that a member of the human race might have slept in. Those poor women do this housekeeping shit all day and some people are absolute slobs, jack.

[relatable, non-strokebrained tipping discourse for the rest of us]

The only point Jack made worth mulling over is leaving cash in your room for the help. I think most would be required to bring that up with the front desk/management as lost & found. There are some genuine assholes out there who purposefully leave valuables behind hoping to catch the staff stealing.

 

[Marc]

it’s a horrible setup for any sort of actual video production. Terrible sound and lighting and zero attention paid set design. He could have had all of the lighting and camera angles figured out ahead of time. But he didn’t. He can’t even open the damn fridge fully or show different camera angles. It’s just that one terrible angle of his stupid blood-stained dried out tree stump cutting board that looks like shit and has a bacteria colony growing under it.

The thing is, those lovely details are all things I'm still entertained by whenever I see them: Jack has no idea what he's doing, he's constantly documenting himself steeped in failure because none of his shit works, he will never admit to any of it, and he demands Tammy pay for all of it. And that he just keeps melting and mutating [instead of dying] has gifted us [his only fans] with some pretty surreal shit, courtesy of a compulsive liar too stupid to keep track of his stupid lies while pretending to stand.

I do occasionally find myself lamenting being desensitized to what Jack looks like: Others I show him to are outright disgusted by his appearance resembling Wart from Mario Bros 2, mannerisms evocative of a busted Chuck E. Cheese animatronic, and vocalizations mistakable for an impacted mule. I am sometimes guilty of forgetting that Jack bears a stronger resemblance to the monsters printed on the Candyland board than he does to humans, and I suspect him of having a cloaca.

 

[Sneedmiser]

On Saturday's live stream, Jack gives one weird trick to checking into a hotel room early: tell them you are diabetic and you have some insulin that needs to be refrigerated or you'll die. He then talks about how housekeeping doesn't deserve to get tipped. His chatters (including one of his mods) point out how this is not Christ-like, and he predictably gets angry and defensive.

Rarely do I get MATI browsing KF, but Jack's retard, holier-than-thou hypocritical rambling really gets me. "The worst thing you can say to a Christian is that they're not being Christ like," maybe you should tip service workers more than a dollar you stroked out tub of shit. Meanwhile in every single one of those brain-numbing faith videos (that serve as a great Jack Jr simulator), he calls over 1.4 billion Christians, a number greater than the population of China, "not Christian".

Stroke #4 can't come soon enough.

 

[Skwisgaar Skwigelf]

New Jack Vlogs:

 

[Falcon Sebben]

On Saturday's live stream, Jack gives one weird trick to checking into a hotel room early: tell them you are diabetic and you have some insulin that needs to be refrigerated or you'll die. He then talks about how housekeeping doesn't deserve to get tipped. His chatters (including one of his mods) point out how this is not Christ-like, and he predictably gets angry and defensive.

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All this serves to show is that Fatty is the fake Christian we've known all along.

Fuck over service staff, don't tip your housekeeper, cheat the hotel out of getting an early room. It's honestly disgusting how he can call himself a Christian and act in such a manner.

 

[Tiresome]

"The worst thing you can say to a Christian is that they're not being Christ like,"

If you're talking about fully half, maybe even two-thirds of Americans who openly and often announce themselves as Christians, I'd daresay it's also the most accurate thing you could say.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

If you're talking about fully half, maybe even two-thirds of Americans who openly and often announce themselves as Christians, I'd daresay it's also the most accurate thing you could say.

Jesus would be super pissed at most American Evangelicals. Like really, really pissed. They'd better hope atheists are right about religion because if not they'll be burning in hell for eternity

 

[Sneedmiser]

Nobody's posted it yet because nobody looks at the Eye to Eye channel, but Jack put out a video (presumably) gargling Israel's balls:

I haven't watched it yet because it's way too late to scrub through another one of these and they're the worst thing Jack puts out, even though he's not gagging into the mic while he tries to choke down fast food like a bird in them. I'll get to it sometime this week even if it means incurring brain damage from listening to Evangelicals talk about Israel for half an hour.

Edit: yeah I lied, skipped to a random part (3:30), and Jack is too lazy to open his bible, he's using AI to verify the cohost reciting scripture.

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

Nobody's posted it yet because nobody looks at the Eye to Eye channel, but Jack put out a video (presumably) gargling Israel's balls:

I haven't watched it yet because it's way too late to scrub through another one of these and they're the worst thing Jack puts out, even though he's not gagging into the mic while he tries to choke down fast food like a bird in them. I'll get to it sometime this week even if it means incurring brain damage from listening to Evangelicals talk about Israel for half an hour.

Edit: yeah I lied, skipped to a random part (3:30), and Jack is too lazy to open his bible, he's using AI to verify the cohost reciting scripture.

Give him a week and he will be firmly back in the best ally we love Israel camp of bamboozled non-denominationalists.

He just has to come up with the right headcannon that Israel was under some evil influence regarding Epstein and that it was some rouge dangerous offshoot of Jewish atheist Soros bots or something were running the rouge Epstein ops . But the real Israel is still in control of their state and Judaism worldwide, and when the end times occur they are all going give up centuries of Judaism to finally gladly accept Jesus and rely on some pentacostal or Baptist weirdos to usher them into the new Jew-free world. [/sarcasm][/OBJ]

 

[Bassomatic]

I just want Jack to choke.

He's able to take being a fat faggot eating gross food to making himself worse.

I don't even wish death. I just want him to see his black grandson. Even when I'm tired and sore Jack kills fast food for me. Now I'm not trying to kiss my own ass but I rarely get fast food.

I was tired and hurt my back I was gonna ask Mrs Basso to get me some micky D's for breakfast.. I didn't even log on and thought of Jack... Yes I'm healthy, Yes I'm semi fit (I won't lie I'm cut like fight club brad pitt) but even thinking of the FAT FAT FAT FAGGOT Jack.. an egg mcmuffin that I could eat sounded horrible. I told Mrs no and had some Yogurt.

Sorry my life story, but even at my lowest, as a normal person I can say no. Jack would have a pajeet uber eats him then talk about how bad brown people are....

 

[WhoBusTank69]

I just want Jack to choke.

He isn't allowed to die because he doesn't understand suffering yet.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Nobody's posted it yet because nobody looks at the Eye to Eye channel, but Jack put out a video (presumably) gargling Israel's balls:

I haven't watched it yet because it's way too late to scrub through another one of these and they're the worst thing Jack puts out, even though he's not gagging into the mic while he tries to choke down fast food like a bird in them. I'll get to it sometime this week even if it means incurring brain damage from listening to Evangelicals talk about Israel for half an hour.

Edit: yeah I lied, skipped to a random part (3:30), and Jack is too lazy to open his bible, he's using AI to verify the cohost reciting scripture.

He freaks out about AI then uses AI because he's too lazy to look it up himself.

You can't make this shit up.

EDIT: Double posting.

Has Fatty made any comments on the Superman movie doing really well considering how much he was going on about how it was going to fail?