- Joined
- Jun 2, 2024
Putting the W in Wife: remember FindingLia, the 50-year-old dumb piece of shit who decided to upend his marriage so that he could chase after his fantasy of being a real girl? He's been struggling, with his wife having separated from him immediately after his grand reveal because she thinks he's going through some sort of psychological breakdown (which I am inclined to agree with, given that sometimes common sense pokes in when it comes to "gender appropriation" and seeing the comparisons to transracialism). Unfortunately for our hero, the worst has now come to pass - after being convinced that she might possibly stick around if he walks it back, his wife has made the executive decision to pack her bags and get the hell out of dodge regardless of what he does next. Now he is despondent and vaguely suicidal, seeking support from fellow wifeless hons on Reddit and worrying that he's made a grave mistake. Don't you just love a happy ending, Kiwis?
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hysterical little girl a big, scary man. Personally, I suspect she has some latent hostility towards older women because her mother blatantly laughed at her and refused to acknowledge her identity whatsoever.
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Fatty poonbalatty: a TiF gets the typical cult member breast amputation as is expected of her, but even a few years post-op she's not keen on showing off her results. To the shock of no one, she refuses to take any responsibilty for the poor quality of her outcome, instead blaming her parents for not taking her surgery seriously, especially because she suspects she may have POTS or hEDS (though she has no official proof of these diagnoses). A fat, lazy, pooner munchie? Jeez, they're ten a penny at this point!Wife decided she couldn't hang....
...she came and got the last of her things. She was not kind. All my hopes of us being able to somehow maybe chart a future together, dashed. I guess there never was any, perhaps...she just needed me to feel that way so that she could feel safe enough to fully eject.
I feel so stupid. Stupid for telling her that I was confused and questioning things. Stupid for thinking that she would be supportive. I feel like I torpedoed the shit out of my life and my future. Nearly 20 years building a life together, gone in an instant.
I can't talk to any of our mutual friends, because that could put people into camps, and I don't want her to suffer any of that kind of friend loss for something that is my fault.
I'm 100% not going to do anything stupid, so no Reddit Cares please....but dear christ, it would be so nice to just not wake up tomorrow.
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There is nothing troons 'n' poons despise more than being encouraged simply to accept themselves, and anybody who spews the hateful rhetoric of "just reach some sort of internal peace with yourself" should be held accountable for the blood they have on their hands. This is a completely normal thing to think, and is not remotely indicative of any sort of festering mental illness! No siree!I can’t stop hating my top surgery results
Cw: fat phobia /negative body image
I am just over 2 years post op. My chest still makes me so dysphoric and i feel really uncomfortable being shirtless in front of others, which was one of the things I was most looking forward to. I had a large seroma on my left side and still have significant scar tissue left from that. I have pretty big dog ears as well. I still have slight hope that if I work out my chest I can have it look more normal, but im scared it’ll never heal how I want it. Maybe i can get a revision at some point but i really don’t want to have to go through that. A big reason I didn’t heal well was because my emotionally immature parents were meant to be taking care of me afterwards but instead made it into a vacation for them and pressured me to do things I had no energy for. My mom stayed with me for less than a week, then I was on my own having to move my arms more than was safe to try and take care of myself. I suspect I have pots and hEDS, which could also explain why I didn’t heal well, but I didn’t know this at the time.
I guess it doesn’t really matter why I didn’t heal well. The point is that I’m so upset that it’s summer and I’m contemplating buying a swim top because every time I’ve been shirtless all I can think about is how everyone must be staring at me and thinking my body is disgusting. I know I have some stuff to work through around my body image, maybe it’s not as bad as I think. From certain angles i actually do like my results, but if I look at myself if I’m bent over all I see is loose skin. I just want to feel comfortable in my own skin. I also keep comparing myself to other trans guys on social media who usually had much smaller chests post surgery and are skinny, which I Know isn’t helpful and beauty standards are bullshit, I hate that I care so much. The real reason I want a more conventionally attractive chest is so that maybe I’ll be safer from transphobes, which maybe isn’t even true. There are lots of things I’m learning to like about being trans, but sometimes I just wish I could have a cis chest, or gotten on hormone blockers before my chest was ruined by female puberty. I get so angry when I see cis men so confident on the beach
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A "gay trans guy" (read: heterosexual woman) is upset that other "gay trans guys" (read: heterosexual women) have poisoned the well in terms of the reputation FTMs have amongst gay men, and, obviously, the reason they did this is because of an obsession with yaoi. Just because you don't like yaoi doesn't make you any more valid, OP; you are all repulsive, sexually coercive lunatics in my book!"Just love/accept yourself"
I'm so tired of this. I'm tired of seeing it. Because the person thinks they're being kind, they think they're taking a high or sympathetic ground. However, they're just exhibiting their misinformed views or perhaps even thoughts backed by bigoted voices. They speak from incompetence that may well be willful, and they don't have the mind to realize their harm.
Me being trans is not because I don't love myself or don't accept who I am. I am trans because I have the mind of a man and, unfortunately, the body of something else. I know I am a binary man just as much as a cisgender man—because it is the experience I identify with and am comfortable in. (Note in this comment I speak simply of myself, not the trans or cis men who do not fall on the binary—but are likewise just as correct in their identify.) I do not in any way identify with the experience of being a woman and do not wish to be a woman. I know I am trans because it is an issue of identity. I do not struggle with self-love or self-acceptance.
Trans people do struggle with self-love and self-acceptance, but it is not because they are trans. It is because they are told to hate their being trans, they are told they are wrong, they are told to hate how they identify. And they are told this by the people who tell us "just love/accept yourself as you are." I dont hate myself. I hate that I'm taught to hate myself.
Why do they think we're delusional. Why do they think this was our decision—and a supposedly incorrect one. I simply am who I am, and whether I like it or not I am trans. Because I did not choose this.
So no, don't tell me to "love myself" or "accept myself as I was born." These are not my struggles. These are not what make me trans. And frankly, I'm mad you think that's why. I love being a man, I love being part of this identity. I don't identity with toxic masculinity, but that's also not how I view what it means to be a man. I am trans because I love the identity I identify with, and the more I achieve a closeness to that gender the more love I feel for myself.
So, TLDR I'm fucking irked. Educate yourself before you hurt the people you love.
I appreciate and am interested in any thoughts or insight others may have.
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A TiF is angry that older women are less likely to play ball with her delusions, leading her to believe they have a giant conspiracy in which to make her out to be a
I honestly hate being a gay FTM
The typical “alt boy transmasc” types that have come up recently have made being gay somewhat of an eye rolling stereotype among FTMs. They all claim to be gay “mascs”. The reality is they just really, really like yaoi. We can pretend that’s not the truth but we all know it is. It’s gotten to such an issue that gay men have a completely negative view of trans men who happen to be gay. I’ve become incredibly depressed about my future prospects in love and my identity that I once was proud of now feels dysphoric to me, like it makes me more clockable. At this point I was hoping T would change my orientation like I’ve heard other men talk about but it hasn’t. I know I’ll probably get some hate for this but I’ve got no where else to vent this to.
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A FTM who is supposedly "cis-passing" has a serious reality check when she endures the humiliation of her packer being put on display in front of everyone and being patted down due to a false flagging from the body scanner. I don't even know why bepronouned people try to play games like this; if I were in line and had my proceedings delayed because some crossdressing jackass wanted to pretend her LARP was real, I would be cutting the nastiest eyes at her possible. Airports are torturous enough!Older Cis Women
This may just be my personal experience as a trans man but, I have the worst experience trying to socialize with older women. For context, I live with my (25y) cis boyfriend and his mother. His mom is a wonderful lady. A nurse and office manager for the clinic she runs. She has a LOT of friends and sisters that come over to hang out. For the most part they are loud, colorful women who are very sweet.
Once these women figure out I'm a trans man thought, they instantly treat me differently. Some have outright started misgendering me (after already correctly addressing me before) once they found out or was told I was trans. One of them even tried to get me a job as a painter, but outed me without my knowledge to the hiring manager because he said "He was looking for male painters". I have yet to come across a cis women over the age of 35 who treats me with any kind of dignity. I know my looks shouldn't warrant their behavior but I pass pretty well. I have a mustache and a deep voice and everything. No chest either (shrunk from T and weight loss). So I know this is very much on purpose. I know all I can really do is try to educate or ignore all together. I honestly feel like they are sometimes looking for an extreme reaction from me to confirm their transphobia.
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Airports are genuine nightmares.
Vent below.
I'm currently typing this as I'm sitting at my gate. Even though I've prepared so much for this, everything has gone wrong thus far.
First, it said my ID information wasn't correct while trying to enter TSA and sent me back to the airline.. All of my information was correct. I went back and it still wasn't working. I think it's because my photo doesn't match my ID and the machine couldn't recognize it. My ID is still marked F because I live in Florida and can't do shit about it. I had to wait for an officer to let me through. And after he saw my ID, he called me ma'am. I am a cis-passing man.
After that, TSA... I had heard that the best thing you should do is put your prosthetic in your carry-on or personal bag because otherwise the machine will detect it and make you do a pat down. So, I put it in my bag. Guess what? The machine detecter noticed something in my groin area (there was nothing there!!) and made me get a pat down there anyway. And then, the prosthetic triggered a "sharp object" to the machine so after feeling extremely dysphoric from the pat down I then watched this woman take out my prosthetic in front of everyone.
I want to cry. I'm genuinely about to break down. If anything else goes wrong, I don't know what I'm going to do. I want to scream. I hate being trans. I hate feeling fucking cursed in this body and I hate even more being reminded of it. When the agent touched me, my skin crawled. I wanted to rip my own skin off. I felt as he felt nothing there and it felt like a fucking wound between my legs. I hate not having a dick. I hate not being a cis man. I HATE BEING TRANS AND I HATE TSA.