DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

[strandedcastaway]

Reminder that he will be happy about the downfall of other but if you celebrate his downfall, then youre a horrible person. The day he truly fades out and crashes i can see him throwing a pity party crying and saying how evil people are.

You don't have to wait, he already does this after every stream that doesn't hit the goal.

 

[RougeRed]

I've heard people say "Beat a game" to mean "complete a game" for literally decades. I'm actually disturbed it seems to be new to some people.

It is not as common of a term in modern gaming, so it isn't surprising that it would sound odd to a younger person. Games from the retro era were intentionally difficult to increase playtime and justify the expense (NES games adjusted for inflation were like 150 dollars) and even resulted in the term "Nintendo Hard" being coined to describe this design style. Most people were never expected to actually reach the end of games they played during those days as the game was designed to almost always prevent that, so "Beating a game" in that context makes more sense because it required you to overcome something that was actively resisting you getting through it. Modern games, for the most part, are designed with the expectation that anyone who puts in the prerequisite amount of time will eventually get to the end, so you really aren't "beating" anything.

 

[David Brown]

This is all bullshit:
"the the big medical bill comes"

Sorry. Even if you brush your teeth 8 times a day and suck a flouridated dragon dildo every night, dentists still charge you out the fucking ass. Taking care of your teeth meaning your dental care costs less is total bullshit.
You're still just as likely to wake up one day with a really bad tooth issue no matter what you do.

Bugged dental hygiene mechanics ackackackackack there was nothing I could do!

 

[TheGreatWhiteNorth]

No amount of cherry juice will fix a tooth abscess. Nor will his gout-filled blood respond well to sepsis.

 

[Chieftain Coke Peanut]

Knowing Phil, whenever he eventually goes to a dentist and has to get 10 teeth pulled I give it a 50/50 he gets addicted to the painkillers. One of the most addictive personalities I have ever seen.

Although to get pills he would have to leave the snort fort and talk to urban style individuals, and with no teeth to chew on his hoof how would it be possible?

 

[blahblahblah678]

The other semantic argument to "completing" a game vs "beating" a game would be speed runners who could technically do both in a fraction of the time due to glitches, shortcuts, etc.

 

[Dr Pavel I'm CIA]

For modern games, it really feels weird as it's not a feat or a difficult task to finish any modern games, especially when he was talking about Death Stranding.

But you're right it's not really about how he says beat that irks me is the way he frames it as being a difficult and horrible task.

 

[Benedryl Netanyahoo]

But you're right it's not really about how he says beat that irks me is the way he frames it as being a difficult and horrible task.

There are many things he says that are technically true, and in some cases entirely true. The problem is the way he says them makes him look like a fucking cunt, and it compels me to disagree even if I know it's the truth.

However, I'm glad he is like this because it absolutely kills him whenever his correct takes are immediately dismissed, and he seethes about it for years.

 

[Looney Troons]

I feel like Nintendo games have really been dialing it in on singular gimmicks, but I’m not going to bitch about it on a livestream while my audience derides me for an entire hour.

In Breath of the Wild, the focus of gameplay centered around the stamina loops and item durability. Honestly, I hated this and never completed the game because of it. Item swapping during the middle of a fight is so lame.

The Pokémon games were both bad and placed too much emphasis on their soulless open worlds.

Tears of the Kingdom rectified some of the issue I had with item durability and stamina loops, but the building gimmick became very tiresome to me, quickly.

Mario Kart World is probably one of the most shallow entries of the entire series, and he’s right. The open world gimmick doesn’t offer players much other than an opportunity to enjoy the soundtrack… which is incredible.

Finally, I got a good 4 or so hours into Donkey Kong Bananza before the terrain destruction gimmick started falling flat on me. I had fun, but I don’t see a reason or need to complete it.

All that being said, you know who is having an absolute blast with all of this? My younger nephew. Absolutely eating all of this stuff up, especially the ability to drive endlessly down the artificially populated highways of MKW and ability to basically level an entire map in DKB. These games are made for kids and kids are going to enjoy them more than we will. Nintendo’s games have mostly centered around children and teenagers.

Phil is old enough to have experienced the golden age of technology and gaming. These younger kids will never have that experience. Imagine my shock being able to go from playing Wolfenstein 3D, to Doom, to Duke 3D, to Half-Life 1 all within a neat 10 year span? This generation of kids will likely never be able to experience such a drastic shift in technology. The games we played as kids and young adults were so good that companies aren’t even trying to make new shit, they’d just rather remaster the old stuff.

I’ve become less interested in gaming as I’ve grown older. Phil has too, clearly, but this is his chosen career path. He whines about the Nintendo of yore being so great and modern Nintendo being so bad, but they’re doing the same exact same shit that they’ve always done. They’re making exciting games for a younger audience, and Phil has become old and resentful that the mysticism of gaming is gone. He hates that he can’t play the games he’d like to play because he has to be able to DoorDash food for the couch creature and himself.

 

[Martys_not_smarty]

Probably belongs somewhere else but I liked the mindless breaking shirt games back when they were called Red Faction Guerrila and Just Cause.

 

[Moar Krabs]

I’ve become less interested in gaming as I’ve grown older. Phil has too, clearly, but this is his chosen career path. He whines about the Nintendo of yore being so great and modern Nintendo being so bad, but they’re doing the same exact same shit that they’ve always done. They’re making exciting games for a younger audience, and Phil has become old and resentful that the mysticism of gaming is gone. He hates that he can’t play the games he’d like to play because he has to be able to DoorDash food for the couch creature and himself.

I felt the same way so I stopped playing every major AAA release and just started playing games I grew up with and now I'm all set I'm not even playing GTA VI if it ever comes out on Steam I just lost interest and stopped caring all together but we all know Phil will play the PS5 version cause he needs the Day 1 views and the inevitable PS6 version since were a year or two away from that

 

[Keith the Horse Fucker]

Sony’s endless over the shoulder, narrative driven walking simulators are a direct result of DSP

 

[EmpGulcasa]

Phil being dumb, as usual.
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He's gotta pretend that he isn't terminally online scrolling twitter at 2AM by acting like he isn't fully aware of every gaming related drama on the internet. It's so obviously fake.

 

[Big Brown Schlub]

Sony’s endless over the shoulder, narrative driven walking simulators are a direct result of DSP

And make no mistake - that's the type of game he likes the most. All of his retro posturing is just fake and gay and performative. He fucking hates playing any game that's retro or any new game made in a retro style. Hell, even if a game is from 2015 he cries when he loses and calls them "outdated" when gaming hasn't changed in any significant way since then, neither gameplay nor graphics-wise. Okay, they added way more yellow paint and other "Hey retard! Go do this!" type of shit and way more predatory monetization, but you get my point, the difficulty is still piss easy for most of them.

The only retro games he likes are JRPGs that, while they are quality games, are also brainlessly easy and can be beaten while sleepwalking, for example Chrono Trigger or FFVI, and old school fighting games. Even then he just wants to pubstomp retards who bought the shitty Crapcom collections and get EZ wins rather than face actual competition on something like Fightcade. Not that we needed any proof, but he really showed what a fucking pathetic shitter he is when he played CvS2 and reminisced about his arcade days. One of the things he cherished the most, as evidenced by his huge shit-eating grin while talking about it, involved him effortlessly beating pre-teen kids who didn't even know how to do a hadouken while he was in his late teens/early 20s and knew all the meta strategies and techniques from back in the day.

For most people who played any kind of competitive sport or game these kind of matches with a massive skill gap are the least enjoyable, if you're the less skilled one you feel like trash and like you didn't learn anything and if you're the more skilled one you feel like you're picking on someone and like you're just wasting your time. Piggy just wants the trophy for the least effort possible, evidenced by the fact that he somehow bitches more after WINNING a close match against an equally skilled opponent than after getting trounced and destroyed by someone whose skill level is way above his own.

 

[Kier Starmer]

Hospice care can last up to 6 months. He does not want to see the bill. It's pricey, and if Linda, out of sheer will refuses to die, then they are looking at a $100k bill.

I am now strictly team hospice, and Dave cut him off.

 

[San Dimas High School]

It's so obviously fake.

I'm going to choose to think it's real. Because it's really on brand for a "Game Journalist" to not know who Pirate Software is, if they have had a pulse for the past 3 weeks.

 

[Keith the Horse Fucker]

Hospice is making the most sense now, but my heart really wishes it was the HOA fining him.

 

[Whaler]

Wonder who he'll blame when he eventually has to go to the emergency room from some sort of dental complications (which there are many and most are bad) cause let's be honest he won't hold himself accountable. I know someone who had permanent nerve pain due to getting a wisdom tooth removed so if Phil thought the ear infection from wearing headphones was bad, he has no idea what awaits

Dental complications are the worst because of how close to brain your jaw is. Tooth pain can literally range from anywhere to slight headache near your eyes, or chest pain that feels like a heart attack. It's something you should never fuck around with and hold off on to get better. From the top part of the bridge of your nose, to the corners of your mouth is referred to the "Triangle of Death" and "Danger Triangle" because it's a straight path to your cavernous sinus which is a hollow space behind your eyes and that leads directly to the brain. Infections there travel fast since there's nothing to slow or fight off the infection.

No amount of cherry juice will fix a tooth abscess. Nor will his gout-filled blood respond well to sepsis.

Phil is dumb enough to think that his tooth abscess is healed simply because the pain and swelling went down.

The other semantic argument to "completing" a game vs "beating" a game would be speed runners who could technically do both in a fraction of the time due to glitches, shortcuts, etc.

In Phils defense (not singling you out, you were just the last person to post about it) in the years Phil grew up in and his area, everybody used "beat" instead of finishing or completing a game. I won't bore you guys with the details, but while it does sound weird to hear him (or anybody) say they "beat a game" it's just something he and many other people grew up saying and hearing from others.

 

[Cyber Bowling]

Hospice care can last up to 6 months. He does not want to see the bill. It's pricey, and if Linda, out of sheer will refuses to die, then they are looking at a $100k bill.

I am now strictly team hospice, and Dave cut him off.

I'm still very much in the camp of Linda is/always was perfectly fine (At least health wise, she's still a Burnell and there's no cure for that), but even if I end up being wrong about that, I don't think there's a world where Phil sees/cares about the medical bill. Phil wouldn't take any sort of financial responsibility for his parents, and if they kicked the bucket and he inherited their debt, he'd be complaining nonstop about how unfair it is.

I think the same logic would apply if Phil was cut off by his parents. Even if he didn't complain about his parents specifically, he'd be bitching nonstop about medical costs and how unfair it was. He'd appear human for a second, until his mask inevitably fell and he made it all about him by saying something like "how are they going to pay for our Thanksgiving dinner now" and how stressful it'll be to do a fundraiser or something to order his overpriced turkey.

 

[Kier Starmer]

How drunk is this motherfucker already?