UK British News Megathread - aka CWCissey's news thread

https://news.sky.com/story/row-over-new-greggs-vegan-sausage-rolls-heats-up-11597679

A heated row has broken out over a move by Britain's largest bakery chain to launch a vegan sausage roll.

The pastry, which is filled with a meat substitute and encased in 96 pastry layers, is available in 950 Greggs stores across the country.

It was promised after 20,000 people signed a petition calling for the snack to be launched to accommodate plant-based diet eaters.


But the vegan sausage roll's launch has been greeted by a mixed reaction: Some consumers welcomed it, while others voiced their objections.

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spread happiness@p4leandp1nk
https://twitter.com/p4leandp1nk/status/1080767496569974785

#VEGANsausageroll thanks Greggs

7
10:07 AM - Jan 3, 2019

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Cook and food poverty campaigner Jack Monroe declared she was "frantically googling to see what time my nearest opens tomorrow morning because I will be outside".

While TV writer Brydie Lee-Kennedy called herself "very pro the Greggs vegan sausage roll because anything that wrenches veganism back from the 'clean eating' wellness folk is a good thing".

One Twitter user wrote that finding vegan sausage rolls missing from a store in Corby had "ruined my morning".

Another said: "My son is allergic to dairy products which means I can't really go to Greggs when he's with me. Now I can. Thank you vegans."

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pg often@pgofton
https://twitter.com/pgofton/status/1080772793774624768

The hype got me like #Greggs #Veganuary


42
10:28 AM - Jan 3, 2019

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TV presenter Piers Morgan led the charge of those outraged by the new roll.

"Nobody was waiting for a vegan bloody sausage, you PC-ravaged clowns," he wrote on Twitter.

Mr Morgan later complained at receiving "howling abuse from vegans", adding: "I get it, you're all hangry. I would be too if I only ate plants and gruel."

Another Twitter user said: "I really struggle to believe that 20,000 vegans are that desperate to eat in a Greggs."

"You don't paint a mustach (sic) on the Mona Lisa and you don't mess with the perfect sausage roll," one quipped.

Journalist Nooruddean Choudry suggested Greggs introduce a halal steak bake to "crank the fume levels right up to 11".

The bakery chain told concerned customers that "change is good" and that there would "always be a classic sausage roll".

It comes on the same day McDonald's launched its first vegetarian "Happy Meal", designed for children.

The new dish comes with a "veggie wrap", instead of the usual chicken or beef option.

It should be noted that Piers Morgan and Greggs share the same PR firm, so I'm thinking this is some serious faux outrage and South Park KKK gambiting here.

 

[Coolio55]

Yeah, I hate Virgins, I'm just a fucking retard who hates music, computer games and the UK space industry.
Richard's pretty skeevy though.

 

[Kofi Drinka]

The UK has a space industry? It's the only industry we have left if it's true. When are they turning the rockets into a Turkish barbers and take away?

 

[Geoff Capes Vapes Apes]

You call people virgins to try and devalue them, but the more virgin olive oil is, the better. Clearly anyone who has never got their end away by the time they are, say, 30 should be pressed for their valuable fatty fluids.

 

[Chunky Salsa]

The UK has a space industry? It's the only industry we have left if it's true. When are they turning the rockets into a Turkish barbers and take away?

We have a pretty good space industry actually. One that could very easily be turned into a cruise missile and ICBM industry if need be. Which is probably the only reason we have it at all. Just in case America ever rescinds their missile agreement for trident.

 

[FedPostalService]

We have a pretty good space industry actually. One that could very easily be turned into a cruise missile and ICBM industry if need be. Which is probably the only reason we have it at all. Just in case America ever rescinds their missile agreement for trident.

There was talk about building a space port, whatever happened to that?

 

[Mound Dweller]

There was talk about building a space port, whatever happened to that?

Richard Branson's went bust, pretty sure the other one in Cornwall also went bust, I think the one in the Scottish Isles is still going but is also gonna go bust, it's all very dotcommy.

 

[femboy fart huffer]

given £9.95 a week on their ASPEN card, rising to £49.18 a week when they're moved to self-catered accommodation.

However, rather than buying necessities, some asylum seekers have successfully used the chip and pin ASPEN cards to gamble at physical sites such as casinos, slot machine arcades and national lottery retailers.

Why are we giving them £10 a week if they're not in self catered accommodation? What is that £10 going to? They have everything paid for them? They don't need to buy food or pay for rent or anything like that? So why are we just giving them money for no reason? They don't need to 'buy necessities' because the fucking government provides them, so what's the money for?

A Home Office source said: "If any individuals issued with Aspen cards have succeeded in misusing them in the way suggested, then urgent action will be taken to correct that fault."

The 'fault' is that they are allowed to stay in this country in the first place. The 'urgent action' should be giving them a choice of either killing themselves or fucking off back to where they came from.

 

[Geoff Capes Vapes Apes]

Richard Branson's went bust, pretty sure the other one in Cornwall also went bust, I think the one in the Scottish Isles is still going but is also gonna go bust, it's all very dotcommy.

Fairly sure the one in Cornwall is just Newquay Airport, it has a stupidly long runway (ex RAF St Mawgan) so Bransons "2 747s gaffer taped together with an underslung rocket" totally credible launch system could take off from there

 

[Whoopsie Daisy]

Virgin Galactic was meant to be housed at [redacted] in 2014, with the MOD selling [Redacted] to Branson. The deal fell through when [Redacted] was supposed to be the new site for the [Redacted] Aircraft, but BAE refused to move from [Redacted].
It Didn't help matters that the Scottish government kicked up a stink and the Americans went back on their contracts for [Redacted], leaving [Redacted] to remain the main base for [Redacted].
[Expletive deleted] the Americans and [Expletive deleted] BAE.

 

[teriyakiburns]

Virgin Galactic was meant to be housed at [redacted] in 2014, with the MOD selling [Redacted] to Branson. The deal fell through when [Redacted] was supposed to be the new site for the [Redacted] Aircraft, but BAE refused to move from [Redacted].
It Didn't help matters that the Scottish government kicked up a stink and the Americans went back on their contracts for [Redacted], leaving [Redacted] to remain the main base for [Redacted].
[Expletive deleted] the Americans and [Expletive deleted] BAE.

This is my new favourite SCP.

 

[Whoopsie Daisy]

SCP?

 

[Geoff Capes Vapes Apes]

Branson is just a snake oil salesman. Suborbital flight like virgin galactic or Jeff Bezos flying fanny hammer is just a waste of resources, and virgin orbit was a miserable failure that quickly went tits up when it became clear they weren't very good at the whole "putting customer payloads into orbit" thing.

 

[Marvin]

Every woman I know would flip out if a bloke tried to strangle them during sex, it's not normal

It's probably more normal than you give it credit for. And sure, I feel like society has fucked up by letting things devolve to this point. But it's the reality of the situation.

Like a couple days ago, some chick in a bar asked me what my kinks are. Idk maybe she was trying to pick me up? Either way, I'm not a particularly weird person so I made something up and gave her an answer. I asked her the same question and she said choking.

Sure, anecdotes are not data and a single answer doesn't mean shit. But still, it was pretty surprising for me and I suspect it's a lot more common than people think.

I bet the feminizing effects of modern society has left straight women with an unsated thirst for some kind, any kind, of masculine aggression. Obviously they don't want to get beat the fuck up, and sure, equal pay is nice. But a little controlled edginess is part of masculinity and straight women are thirsting for it.

 

[BongoMongo]

Let's not forget the fact they are also given a choice between a Samsung or an iPhone when they get here. The illegals, I mean.

Of course they come here. They're laughing all the way to the fucking bookies aren't they?

Total boat people death. And total MPs and middle class leftie cunt death.

The happening due over the summer can't come quick enough.

 

[Made In Wales]

Let's not forget the fact they are also given a choice between a Samsung or an iPhone when they get here. The illegals, I mean.

Of course they come here. They're laughing all the way to the fucking bookies aren't they?

Total boat people death. And total MPs and middle class leftie cunt death.

The happening due over the summer can't come quick enough.

Amen to that.

Would not bet against it either.

 

[Turkey Beef]

This story has been ongoing for quite some time; in typical neoliberal-formented Fifth World fashion — it keeps on giving and giving and giving:

Mosquera, a 35-year-old Colombian national, was convicted Tuesday of murdering Paul Longworth, 71, and his partner, Albert Alfonso, 62, in their west London apartment in July last year.

Unhealthy lifestyles have their hazards.

He was convicted largely based on a chilling video captured on a camera set up to record a sex session — but that instead caught him killing the couple and then joyfully singing and dancing while naked and still covered in blood.

Britfags, consider yourselves enriched.

“Do you like it?” Mosquera taunts Alfonso at one point as he stabs him, hours after he had already battered Longworth to death with a hammer and hidden his body under bed covers.

Mosquera — a porn star who was staying with the couple — then decapitated and dismembered the men, stuffing their heads in a freezer as he also tried to access their bank details on their computer.

You can imagine the likely spin at the BBC. If only the government were more generous with its welfare payments to foreign colonists, porno actors would not be forced to commit such acts to feed their families. Or maybe they will present it as evidence that sacred faggots are victimized by homophobes.

Channel 5’s take:
https://xcancel.com/5_News/status/1947333248704557172

 

[Whoopsie Daisy]

The happening due over the summer can't come quick enough.

Nowt eva appens.

 

[Help I'm A BritFag]

Nowt eva appens.

I'll give it another three weeks for a major happening to occur, after that the footy will be back on and all the Bazzas who've been protesting outside hotels will go back to sitting in the pub watching Ngubu score some fackin' goals

 

[Eddie Riggs]

Skibidi Starmer!
Skibidi Skibidi Starmer!
Skibidi Starmer!
Kier! Kier! Kier!
Skibidi Skibidi Starmer!
Hitler's language!
Reform! Reform!
Reform is using Hitler's language!
Hitler's language!
Reform is using Hitler's language!
Skibidi Skibidi!

 

[femboy fart huffer]

Kier! Kier! Kier!

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
What an interesting kkkoicidence