He wouldn't notice at first, but then one day he would drunkenly stumble into the room you were set up in; his face would light up. "Company! Can I get you something to drink?" He clumsily pours you a tall glass of Evan Williams out of the bottle duct taped to his hand, then passes it to you, his DTs spilling the contents to the point where it's only a normal shot.
You two drink into the night, sharing stories and laughs, but all of a sudden his face turns serious. You ask him what's wrong, and he says "There's just something weighing on my mind...I've been thinking about it a lot." You ask him to share, and he stands up and drops his pants, revealing his entirely normal genitalia; he then takes his thumb and pushes the head of his flaccid penis into the shaft, inverting it. "Doesn't this concern you at all? YOU DON'T FIND THIS INCREDIBLY CONCERNING?!" he screams, as you spend your last moments on Earth praying.