Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[The Stranger]

Jack is presumably angy that people are calling out his obvious AI

 

[AnOminous]

That is the worst possible sin for Fatty, and clearly it must be the fault of the restaurant and not the idiot driver.

MEEEMMEEEEAT MEEEEEAT WHERE MUH MEEEEET says the stroked out retard.

I hate this idiot so much.

 

[Laura Pallmall]

His final form must sound like the Love Mummy from Aqua Teen

 

[EatBeforeYouEat]

And because he never bothered to google what realistic blood pressure or glucose levels are, he would regularly pat himself on the back (were it possible) for reporting deadly, high-risk numbers which, in a normal human being, would necessitate ER visits. Note that, because Jack was making these numbers up for the sake of impressing strangers on Twitter who hate him, his actual numbers are inferred to have somehow been even worse (otherwise he wouldn't have needed to lie about them trending downward by a point every single month that he was pretending to diet).

That was a good bit of fun. Despite having at least 4 strokes* for which he went to the emergency room he still has no idea about even the basics of blood pressure. No body is asking him to explaining what the numbers signify but any person that has struggled with high blood pressure for over a decade would be able to tell you whats high. Jack would post high blood pressures like 163/60 and then say "bottom number gud" because the week before his blood pressure was 150/80.

*For those who are new, Jagoff thinks his stroke count is at 3 because he still hasn't figured out that this incident from 2008 was his first stroke. Makes for great reading. Doesn't understand the difference between observation and inpatient and then argues with an insurance company for 3 months over a 100 dollar copay, eventually tries to sue only to end up being told to fuck off by his lawyer and then paying it.

 

[the khat quaffer]

His final form must sound like the Love Mummy from Aqua Teen

Instead of "curse!!!" Pharaoh Jackankhamen yells "MEEEEEEAT!!!"

 

[Laura Pallmall]

Jack, why are you eating nothing but meat? Aren't you gonna give yourself another stroke?
"GRAAAAAHHHH RESEAAAARCH!!!"

 

[Remember to dilate]

Been playing a lot of darktide recently, and I couldn't help but notice one of the enemies look familiar besides ogryns and the beast of burgle

Decided to use AI like the jack off himself and made this

 

[p1138]

His final form must sound like the Love Mummy from Aqua Teen

Holy shit that is way too close to how Fatty is.

 

[TheBiggestGay aka gods #1]

'ultra-processed' so he makes faux-'Uncrustables' using 100% premade Goyslop

Maybe the strokes made his brain uncrustable?

 

[the khat quaffer]

Maybe the strokes made his brain uncrustable?

Brain?

 

[She Brings The Rain]

Jack has the stroke and salmonella invincibility gene, and Ashley Isaacs has the unlimited skelly hack gene. The two of them could make an immortal superhuman, and Jack can eat all the binge food the Lich Queen sends him while she makes passive aggressive comments that bounce right off his dome.

 

[the khat quaffer]

Been playing a lot of darktide recently, and I couldn't help but notice one of the enemies look familiar besides ogryns and the beast of burgle
View attachment 7699625View attachment 7699626

Decided to use AI like the jack off himself and made this

View attachment 7699628

Would be fitting, other than the functional right arm.

*For those who are new, Jagoff thinks his stroke count is at 3 because he still hasn't figured out that this incident from 2008 was his first stroke. Makes for great reading.

Didn't he recently confirm that the number of AMA-certified strokes he's had were 3? But the others were like junior, not-really strokes? I'm curious what the pool is at this point. It seems to be at least 4 total, I keep hearing 5. Funny thing is the question wasn't "how many AMA strokes have you had" but rather "how many strokes". Also, throwing a bitch fit over $100... puh-lease.

In my weaker moments I almost get mad at the universe for this. Having known some otherwise healthy people that lost significant quality of life after just a single stroke, including one outright dying, the fact that Jumbotron can slough away three, four, or WHATEVER number of strokes and still function - albeit as a one-armed cripple - makes me think life just ain't fair. Ah well, at least he's good for a laugh.

Jack has the stroke and salmonella invincibility gene, and Ashley Isaacs has the unlimited skelly hack gene. The two of them could make an immortal superhuman, and Jack can eat all the binge food the Lich Queen sends him while she makes passive aggressive comments that bounce right off his dome.

They could form an autistic lolcow extended universe. Jack, AKA The Claw, Ashley AKA Skeletor, going planet to planet and consuming all the resources...

speaking of which, is that bitch still alive?

 

[Wendell Stamps]

speaking of which, is that bitch still alive?

Well, if she was almost on her way out…you just saved her. That said, I wanted to ask as well because if so, wow.

She and Jack really are two sides of the same coin; life truly ain’t fair if they still get to scoot/shuffle their flesh/bone sacks across this mortal coil while those who are far healthier and better humans, go too soon.

 

[neger psykolog]

Fat nigger Scalfani

 

[densedance]

In my weaker moments I almost get mad at the universe for this. Having known some otherwise healthy people that lost significant quality of life after just a single stroke, including one outright dying, the fact that Jumbotron can slough away three, four, or WHATEVER number of strokes and still function - albeit as a one-armed cripple - makes me think life just ain't fair. Ah well, at least he's good for a laugh.

Yeah it's the irony of the universe, I guess. I remember a few years ago when pops was still alive he had a Truck Driver that was in his late 30's. Allways looked what he ate, macro counting this & that, basicaly never drank nor consumed tobacco products. Participated in several Marathons and Iron Man's and whatever is out there. And then, one day he didn't show up, so they tought he overslept (which he never did). After 30mins they called him, nothing. Tried again with a few intervalls, also nothing. So at Lunch time they sended someone to check and he didn't open the door. So the Janitor called the Keymaster to open the door & they found him dead in the Bed. He basicaly died in his sleep due to a blood cloth in his brain.

 

[Whaler]

Didn't he recently confirm that the number of AMA-certified strokes he's had were 3? But the others were like junior, not-really strokes?

Junior strokes are strokes that people below the age of 18 get. You're talking bout Mini-stroke, or what's actually called a Transient Ischemic Attack (TIA for short), which causes stroke like symptoms that clear up in minutes. While they aren't considered strokes because they don't cause brain damge they are just as dangerous as regular strokes and I don't even want to get into the chance of Jack having had silent strokes.

 

[Aunt Carol]

I don't even want to get into the chance of Jack having had silent strokes.

Jack is at the stage where they'll eventually scan his brain (for a major change in function/level of consciousness) and say "oh, huh, looks like you had a couple of little strokes we didn't know about since your last scan."

Multi-infarct dementia is like that. At some point it's hard to tell if Jack's deteriorating day to day because look at his baseline.

 

[Johnny Apple Sneed]

Jack is currently live on Jimmy's channel

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Wild thing to say for a guy whose a terrible liar or wrong about many things

 

[DeadwastePrime]

Wild thing to say for a guy whose a terrible liar or wrong about many things

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well aint that the pot calling the kettle a nigger