Jason Thor Hall / PirateSoftware / Maldavius Figtree / DarkSphere Creations / Maldavius / Thorwich / Witness X / @PotatoSec - Incompetent Furry Programmer, Blizzard Nepo Baby, Lies about almost every thing in his life, Industry Shill, Carried by his father, Hate boner against Ross Scott of Accursed Farms, False Flagger

[UnKillFill]

Joining via the server browser worked, thanks

Quintheo slop incoming

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Also, Quintheo has started to sell Mald inspired merch. Lul

View attachment 7704527

Definitely getting George Ouzounian vibes from that.

The comparisons write themselves.

 

[A T.V. Hating Mutant]

It's that simple.

It is, and anyone who still openly disagrees with SKG is either bad-faith, a retard or both and they should be disregarded.

Duh. Is it really such a mystery? His most dedicated sheep are keeping that shit running on their PCs all day/night long.

It's kind of like SETI, except it's the 'Search for Even a Trace of Intelligence'.

the other 17 homeless people you endowed with your presence?

lmao

Spoiler: Headache-inducing delusion

Bros lookin a lil balder than usual.

 

[BigPeanut]

This particular janitor stuck in my mind and I just remembered it's because she claimed Jason "housed" her after leaving a DV/abuse situation. She also implied he paid for therapy:
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Why do leftoids speak like such lunatics. “birth family” fucking freaks, no one talks like this off the internet.

 

[twinArmageddons]

Another of malds Wikipedia pages is going to be deleted, probably cementing his lolcow status that wikipedia doesn't want to deal with him. Edit Archive

 

[Ghostface Killah]

I wonder how much he's paying for damage control, all combined efforts. Mods, hype trains, etc. Access to his finances would be wild I imagine lmao

 

[GarbanzoBeans]

Keep an eye on his viewers...

https://x.com/TwitchSupport/status/1949893119341687168

 

[WilliamDeLaPole]

A little bit of game design autism.

In Heartbound, I think those bouncing portraits could have actually been a positive if used differently. They are always bouncing, which is obnoxious. Instead, he should have used that to show different emotions. The characters can bounce when they're happy, but stop when something serious happens. Maybe they bounce slower if they're ready for a fight, but to have them constantly bouncing in every situation is distracting and removes the tension. It's like that Futurama parody of Mickey Mouse.

 

[1983 Opel Kadett]

Very of you to think he has one
Here's how Mald (according to Mald) goes about costructing his Ferretschwitz-2:
View attachment 7705084
This is lifted from a Maldstream where he "designs a ferret """rescue""" building". The whole segment is roughly an hour and 20 minutes, which is too much Mald for me (or anyone, really) to handle, but I'm sure there are some (mana)gems hidden in there.

Floor sloped towards the drain. Wow, I don't think anyone has though of that before

 

[BigPeanut]

Floor sloped towards the drain. Wow, I don't think anyone has though of that before
View attachment 7706161

I don’t understand this, I need him to explain why it’s good in Ms paint very smugly.

 

[Lambda]

Keep an eye on his viewers...

https://x.com/TwitchSupport/status/1949893119341687168

That's gonna hurt, I fully expect around 3000 of his viewers are bots. Notice he doesn't viewbot YouTube streams and they're closer to where his rapid growth was, and he struggles to hit 500 viewers there.

 

[Pippa's Greasy KB]

I usually check his stream for like 5 seconds about 3 hours into his streams and his chat is so fucking dead for a 3.7k live viewer. Like 1 chat every 30 sec. I thought twitch had that "live" vs "top" chat kinda thing but I couldn't find it so I assume it's all live. A 2k live stream on youtube moves way faster than this and that's crazy since twitch has a more spastic audience who likes to spam emojis non stop.

 

[The ATF Disliked That]

I don’t understand this, I need him to explain why it’s good in Ms paint very smugly.

It's funny, the one word in that sentence explains what the fuck it does. "Drain". Tell that to a plumber and he'll do the rest of that sentence by default. It's like the comments in his game all over again. He fucks up the blueprints with random shit as well.

Edit: Added

That's gonna hurt, I fully expect around 3000 of his viewers are bots. Notice he doesn't viewbot YouTube streams and they're closer to where his rapid growth was, and he struggles to hit 500 viewers there.

I noticed that as well the other night (or whenever it was) when going through the slop videos. Some bullshit is possibly happening on the Twitch side. Then again, could be wrong, he's seem to put more livestream work into the Twitch-side so it does seem that more viewers would be there instead. But with how fast this fuck has fallen off, and how consistent his viewer-count has been on twitch since, something tells that he's cooking his numbers.

 

[Retink Retunk]

Larian would more than likely support the movement knowing Swen.

I remember hearing somewhere that some guy was 3D printing and selling statues of BG3 characters and instead of shutting him down Larian ended up buying statues from him to resell as they were high quality.

 

[1983 Opel Kadett]

That's gonna hurt, I fully expect around 3000 of his viewers are bots. Notice he doesn't viewbot YouTube streams and they're closer to where his rapid growth was, and he struggles to hit 500 viewers there.

I don't think he bots, I checked a random chat log and there were ~3.4k unique chatters, which seems about right accounting for lurkers. But he has been massively losing viewership anyways, he barely can hit 4k avg anymore.
The game he played yesterday seems to be some kind of wholesome-reddit-MMO called BitCraft Online. The developer of it has come forward to glaze jason before:

Wonder how long it will take this time until he gets his ass beat in the game, cries how devs are against him/game is broken etc and runs away to tinker with yaml files for 12 hours a day again

 

[Pippa's Greasy KB]

I don't think he bots, I checked a random chat log and there were ~3.4k unique chatters, which seems about right accounting for lurkers. But he has been massively losing viewership anyways, he barely can hit 4k avg anymore.
The game he played yesterday seems to be some kind of wholesome-reddit-MMO called BitCraft Online. The developer of it has come forward to glaze jason before:
View attachment 7706302
Wonder how long it will take this time until he gets his ass beat in the game, cries how devs are against him/game is broken etc and runs away to tinker with yaml files for 12 hours a day again

What happened to the ashes of creation thing? I thought they were holding regular tests every couple months? Last I heard mald had multiple guilds but kept getting wrecked by a random guild he declared war on to the point they made a video on him. Surely there's more tests that mald can play on? Aoc seems to be his passion game

 

[Blonrad Blurze]

"Jesus Christ Maldavius. Jesus fucking Christ. Its you! You're the Blizzard breast milk burgler!"

"I really hate that name."

 

[kiwifarms net]

A little bit of game design autism.

In Heartbound, I think those bouncing portraits could have actually been a positive if used differently. They are always bouncing, which is obnoxious. Instead, he should have used that to show different emotions. The characters can bounce when they're happy, but stop when something serious happens. Maybe they bounce slower if they're ready for a fight, but to have them constantly bouncing in every situation is distracting and removes the tension. It's like that Futurama parody of Mickey Mouse.

I, too, have game design autism, my fellow autist with good taste. There are so many things wrong with Mald's """game""" that it's blindingly obvious that he has zero passion for the craft. Probably the hardest part to get right is consistent tone maintenance, which Maldavius Figtree completely fucks up right from the goddamn fucking prologue. Allow me to autism out:

If you take games to be art (which they are and you should) then there is a particular craftsmanship to maintaining the tone you're going for, the exact intent that you wish to express. Every scene needs to be curated if you want to invoke a particular emotion or feeling in a person through a videogame. A movie's set designer must ensure that there are no distracting elements in a serious fight scene. The director must cut out a dogshit one-liner from the script, and remove the presence of joke characters from an emotional death scene. Even theme parks make use of consistent tone maintenance, to the point that Disney's Imagineers came up with an idea and system for dispersing a particular fucking smell when you walk into a particular area, solely just to chase that particular dragon of consistent tone maintenance.

As I've sperged out before, Toby Fox would chase this too by incorporating "serious mode" into Undertale. This activates completely silently during certain sections/periods of the game: Fighting Asgore, fighting Asriel, and the genocide route bosses. Serious mode exists solely to rename certain items, and reduce their more comedic effects. No silly sound effects, no dumb puns or other jokes. "Butterscotch Pie" is normally shortened to "ButtsPie", but when it's serious, it simply becomes the "Pie".

All of those examples are to show just how hard people try to chase the exact tone they want to invoke.
Meanwhile, we have Jason Hall over here who fucks this up near-instantly.
Here's how the average playthrough of Heartbound's prologue goes:

>You wake up. The room is a drab, dreary mess, and it's raining outside. Your dog, as irrational as it is that he can talk, happens to be hungry.
>Baron the dog's words are encouraging and positive, a shining light in this depressing household littered with empty beer cans.
>You walk past your father's room. Seeing as how one word changes from "moron" to "kiddo" in realtime, one can assume that the first word is what you expected him to say.
>Following his order to take out the trash, you tie up the trash bag, then feed your dog. This can be done in either order.
>For some fucking reason you can choose to dump the trash in the dog's food bowl. This ruins his positive mood for no reason, and the mere presence of this option invites pure fucking confusion.
>As you return to bed, your supportive companion thankful for your time and effort, you suddenly wake up to the disastrous sight of gigantic claw marks everywhere.
>Your beloved dog is nowhere to be found. Moving through the hallway, you check your father's door, hoping that he may provide at least some clue. The inspection text reads...
>"Jammed. It's not even strawberry."
>This is a dumb, shitty joke at the most incomprehensible time possible. The player's melancholy, introspective mood is completely ruined.
>You are less than five minutes into the game and you have no idea if you should even take this story seriously anymore.
>Fuck you.

There's a lot more that I could sperg about, like the collectible sock's joking text in the dark room that's supposed to make you wonder what's going to happen. But the prologue is particularly baffling to me. Everybody tries their damnedest to get tone right, but Jason is too retarded and egotistical to take criticism since he's totally perfect at literally everything he does ever - which means that there's not a chance in hell that he'll ever unfuck the prologue.

I can't wait for more Heartbound. Every inch of it is, and will be, exactly like the prologue. It'll be so good to rip apart.

 

[ApearFruit]

In Heartbound, I think those bouncing portraits could have actually been a positive if used differently. They are always bouncing, which is obnoxious.

Somebody else has an issue with that shit? Thank god, I thought I was the only one! In my opinion, the bouncing's fine when you're animating the bodies of, say, fighting game characters. It conveys how active and ready to kick ass they are. Portraits? Shits just looks fucking weird. It makes it seem like every character wants to go to the bathroom or some shit. Like you've mentioned, it could be appropriate for if the character's really happy or excited or something, but is it really all that necessary to do with with EVERY emotion they convey?

 

[GarbanzoBeans]

I don't think he bots, I checked a random chat log and there were ~3.4k unique chatters, which seems about right accounting for lurkers. But he has been massively losing viewership anyways, he barely can hit 4k avg anymore.
The game he played yesterday seems to be some kind of wholesome-reddit-MMO called BitCraft Online. The developer of it has come forward to glaze jason before:
View attachment 7706302
Wonder how long it will take this time until he gets his ass beat in the game, cries how devs are against him/game is broken etc and runs away to tinker with yaml files for 12 hours a day again

They are also launching SpacetimeDB which is a full backend. But it's weird for him to say he agrees when he is open-sourcing all of that? If anything, SKG would be good for them because a lot of devs will move to SpacetimeDB to make their EoL transition easier: "hey, our entire backend is a single, open-source database. Easy."

This is perplexing.

I don't think he bots

He definitely does embed his stream in a lot of places, I am sure he gets a lot of viewers from that. Akin to Fextralife abusing their wiki's to boost their twitch viewership. A lot of the main complaints in response to that twitch tweet was about addressing embeds.

 

[A T.V. Hating Mutant]

Wonder how long it will take this time until he gets his ass beat in the game, cries how devs are against him/game is broken etc and runs away to tinker with yaml files for 12 hours a day again

According to their website, there's very little in the way of direct PvP, focusing instead on indirect PvP through territory acquisition and populace recruitment.

Empire competition is designed to be a strategic and logistical gameplay loop, requiring long-term planning, resource networks, and political savvy.

Emphasis on political savvy. Its probably only a matter of time before he again becomes a social pariah through his usual smug, retarded antics or he gets bored, and moves on. Mald likes conflict, but he likes to always win his conflicts. If Westworld were a real park, Mald would basically live there and never leave.

What happened to the ashes of creation thing? I thought they were holding regular tests every couple months? Last I heard mald had multiple guilds but kept getting wrecked by a random guild he declared war on to the point they made a video on him. Surely there's more tests that mald can play on? Aoc seems to be his passion game

AoC got pushed back to august 26th, which Mald expressed interest in participating in, but given how badly he got BTFO on there last time, it'll only lead to more memes.

A little bit of game design autism.

In Heartbound, I think those bouncing portraits could have actually been a positive if used differently. They are always bouncing, which is obnoxious. Instead, he should have used that to show different emotions. The characters can bounce when they're happy, but stop when something serious happens. Maybe they bounce slower if they're ready for a fight, but to have them constantly bouncing in every situation is distracting and removes the tension. It's like that Futurama parody of Mickey Mouse.
View attachment 7706148

Interesting design choice and consideration for player enjoyment is always great, but that would require heartbound to be anything other than a pathetic attempt at self-therapy. Something he basically admitted to the game being.