Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Troo and Honest]

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I do wonder why the Moon Landing of all things has taken off as a conspiracy. What's there to gain? The Soviets have never denied it once, the only party that would have something to gain if it wasn't true. There are half a dozen retroreflectors left on the moon by the Apollo program that you can shoot a beam at and get confirmation that we were really there, they still work just fine today. It also strikes me as funny that they don't think to realize that there wasn't just one Moon Landing. The Apollo program had six total manned moon landings. It's such a retarded conspiracy. The Apollo program was almost entirely a flex on the Soviet Union, which was wildly successful. It's the peak of American Exceptionalism. You'd think types like Jack would be all for it, but apparently not.

What about this one event (that was really six, but w/e) makes MAGA dipshits go absolutely fucking bananas?

 

[Troo and Honest]

every time I see Jack’s gimpy-ass paralyzed arm I laugh so hard.

It's the juxtaposition of being some Real 'Murican Badass "Lookie here son"' type and being a useless fucking cripple that gets me. Being crippled by your own gluttony and laziness while trying to parade yourself around as some Red Meat 'Murican is just too perfect.

He's somehow in his mid 50s and is about as useful and virile as the average nursing home resident.

 

[The Stranger]

What about this one event (that was really six, but w/e) makes MAGA dipshits go absolutely fucking bananas?

I think they're only patriots because they live here. If you asked fatty what makes America better than any other country he couldn't give a specific answer, just mumble something about rights or the Constitution without any details or insightful opinions. So in that respect feeling like a "cool guy who knows the secrets they don't want you to know" is more important than standing behind your country. I don't think anything is more important to Jack than stroking his own ego.

 

[a terminal posture]

His AI thumbnails are getting more and more unhinged, making less and less sense.
I want him to have a stroke, not give me a stroke by trying to understand what is going on here.

He is re-using the stupid little pizzamen from his previous pizza bites Cooking with Jack two weeks ago. But in that one he ate the very-non-carnivore end product and yet in this one, he has to do the Tammy interrogation bit. This is why I follow Jack. He isn't clinically retarded, but even pre-stroke(s) he just does things in totally illogically ways.

 

[p1138]

PIZZAFORNO - ATM PIZZA​

(07/30/25)

Original:

Preserve Tube: https://preservetube.com/watch?v=i57_see2ZQI

Spoiler: Local Archive

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So he's excited about a pizza vending machine outside of a car dealership. Japane has had these for ages, even the pajeets figured it out years ago

Also like usual, Tammy orders and asks what Fatty wants, but at 2:10 Fatty says Tammy is going to try it. Meanwhile Fatty is giddy like a retard because it's a machine that is going to make a pile of meat and cheese for him. Says the pizzas are frozen, they don't have to be in vending machines but if that is the case paying $12 for a fucking frozen pizza?

Yep, just a fucking frozen pizza alright. Looks like shit too

4:55 Fatty sees Tammy eat a piece of chicken that fell off and cries out like a toddler having a toy taken away because he forgot he's not eating it(on camera) due to being "carnivore"

"It's like a gamers pizza" What the fuck does that even mean Tammy? Also she still has to scoop food into her mouth with her tongue like some kind of animal, can't just bit the pizza like a normal human being.

 

[cleanerfromvenus]

"not like domino's" as if that's anything to compare a pizza with

 

[Tiresome]

What's there to gain? The Soviets have never denied it once, the only party that would have something to gain if it wasn't true.

Not only that, they sheepishly asked if they could slip a cosmonaut onto a future Apollo flight, they knew it'd never happen but they tried. If the Soviets had any proof whatsoever that it was a fraud they would have spun it into the biggest political PR move they could possibly concoct, both domestically and internationally. If they could have made it stick (which would have been easy with literally any spy in the NASA production chain), it would have been a gigantic, face-saving moral victory for the Communist bloc. Instead it got a subdued "Well, they did it" article in Pravda and a pathetic goalpost-moving of "Actually we want to put up a space station, that's the real accomplishment."

 

[Falcon Sebben]

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How can one person be this retarded and so sure of themselves at the same time?

I can't stand moon landing deniers. You know who didn't deny the moon landing? The fucking USSR who we were in a cold war with at the time
It's like these boomer retards like Jack want to be patriotic but one of the crowning achievements of mankind that the US carried out didn't actually happen, all because the money spent on putting men on the moon could've been spent on gibs me meats.
/mati

Exactly. The Russians were tracking the whole thing and if they even suspected it never happened they would have been the first to cry foul.

Then the same retards say, "why did we only go once and never go back"? Bitch we went seven times and landed there six out of those times. Why did we go? It's because we could. And why did we stop? It's because the Russians couldn't get the N1 launch vehicle to work as it had this unfortunate tendency to explode. Then they said, "you know what? We're good" and suddenly our reason to go was lost. We went to the Moon to show up the Russians. We kept going to keep thumbing our noses at them. We stopped going because they weren't attempting it anymore.

PIZZAFORNO - ATM PIZZA​

(07/30/25)

Original:

Preserve Tube: https://preservetube.com/watch?v=i57_see2ZQI

Spoiler: Local Archive

View attachment 7713644

Heard of these things, never actually saw one. And no surprise Fatty has to drive a long way to try one.

You pay for the novelty of it not the quality.

 

[Spasticus Autisticus]

They drove 50 miles to eat take-and-bake pizza out of a machine. A nearly two-hour round trip to eat pizza normally purchased by medical workers working an overnight shift or college students after closing time, all for a video that features a one-minute segment of Tammy struggling to cut the pizza with a plastic knife and Jack sitting around in his wheelchair while Tammy moos "gud". They spent more just on the gas to get there than Jack makes off the entire JOTG channel in a month.

 

[Troo and Honest]

So he's excited about a pizza vending machine outside of a car dealership. Japane has had these for ages, even the pajeets figured it out years ago

Also like usual, Tammy orders and asks what Fatty wants, but at 2:10 Fatty says Tammy is going to try it. Meanwhile Fatty is giddy like a retard because it's a machine that is going to make a pile of meat and cheese for him. Says the pizzas are frozen, they don't have to be in vending machines but if that is the case paying $12 for a fucking frozen pizza?

Yep, just a fucking frozen pizza alright. Looks like shit too

4:55 Fatty sees Tammy eat a piece of chicken that fell off and cries out like a toddler having a toy taken away because he forgot he's not eating it(on camera) due to being "carnivore"
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"It's like a gamers pizza" What the fuck does that even mean Tammy? Also she still has to scoop food into her mouth with her tongue like some kind of animal, can't just bit the pizza like a normal human being.
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If hauling my stroked-out self with a gimpy ass useless arm in my mid fifties, one hour each way, to get a fucking vending machine pizza was an actual highlight for me, I would just kill myself. How uninteresting does ones life have to be to consider this at all enjoyable? Vending machine pizzas were a novelty on uni campuses when I started. Over a decade ago.

It makes me depressed that there's a 100% chance my tax dollars are going to support this faggot's medicaid/care while he eats himself into a (hopefully) early grave. His life is what would otherwise be considered anti-American propaganda of the gluttony and stupidity of Americans. I wouldn't believe it if there wasn't ample video evidence.

 

[p1138]

And no surprise Fatty has to drive a long way to try one.

Eh... an hour each way isn't that much for something you're using for youtube.

They drove 50 miles to eat take-and-bake pizza out of a machine. A nearly two-hour round trip to eat pizza normally purchased by medical workers working an overnight shift or college students after closing time, all for a video that features a one-minute segment of Tammy struggling to cut the pizza with a plastic knife and Jack sitting around in his wheelchair while Tammy moos "gud". They spent more just on the gas to get there than Jack makes off the entire JOTG channel in a month.

Now that last part is certainly true, but you're forgetting that they probably stopped to eat at least 3 times on the way there. Remember, even a whole frozen pizza isn't going to satisfy mr 5-6,000 calories a day, plus any snacks he was eating while Tammy drove.

 

[Super Hans v2]

How can one person be this retarded and so sure of themselves at the same time?

That's how it usually goes in my experience. Smart people know that what they do also know that they don't understand 99.999% of everything else, so they know when to shut the fuck up.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Eh... an hour each way isn't that much for something you're using for youtube.

It is when it's a fucking frozen pizza that's just heated up quickly.

I mean there were machines I saw videos of that would actually make the pizza in real time so you had to wait a few moments for it to come out. The biggest complaint about them is that the dough is more like a cracker than anything else. After all it's made in only five minutes. Not enough time to activate the gluten and let the yeast do it's thing. It's more like a soda bread crust.

It's typical garbage pizza but again like the pizza ATM Fatty had to try it's the novelty and the convenience of it.

That's how it usually goes in my experience. Smart people know that what they do also know that they don't understand 99.999% of everything else, so they know when to shut the fuck up.

Dunning-Kruger effect and all that.

The more you know, the more you realize you don't know enough. Fatty is convinced he's the final word on everything in other words he doesn't know how much of a retard he really is.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Then the same retards say, "why did we only go once and never go back"? Bitch we went seven times and landed there six out of those times. Why did we go? It's because we could. And why did we stop? It's because the Russians couldn't get the N1 launch vehicle to work as it had this unfortunate tendency to explode. Then they said, "you know what? We're good" and suddenly our reason to go was lost. We went to the Moon to show up the Russians. We kept going to keep thumbing our noses at them. We stopped going because they weren't attempting it anymore.

Exactly. We did go back a bunch of times. But there's really no point to keep going back now, especially with NASA's limited budget. It's just a lifeless rock that we already know quite a bit about. We are now focusing our efforts on extraterrestrial life, so we are focused more on Mars and the Jovian moons like Europa and Enceladus. And exoplanets as well.

 

[the khat quaffer]

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#4: Jack has only had 3 strokes.

Probably nothing more than "RESEARCH IT"

 

[Sneedmiser]

I just want to note that there were five crewed missions to the moon after Apollo 11, the last being in 1972. I know Jack is missing a lot of brain cells but does he really not remember the lunar rover or Alan Shepard playing golf on the moon?

 

[AnOminous]

Yep, just a fucking frozen pizza alright. Looks like shit too

That's pathetic. Some probably six figure junk machine that achieves the amazing task of heating up a frozen pizza. This is even dumber than Juicero.

I just want to note that there were five crewed missions to the moon after Apollo 11, the last being in 1972. I know Jack is missing a lot of brain cells but does he really not remember the lunar rover or Alan Shepard playing golf on the moon?

Jagoff can't even remember the name of the restaurant he's in and seems baffled and has to ask Hammy what he just ordered a couple minutes ago. Pure swiss cheese brain.

 

[densedance]

A nearly two-hour round trip to eat pizza normally purchased by medical workers working an overnight shift or college students after closing time

Because it's content guuuys

We have those here spread across the country aswell. And as far as I remember, mostly at touristic hotspot where people either fuel up or camp. And as far as I remember the last time I came across one when charging my car, the price was in normal range. But still, I wasn't really desired to try it. Unless you literally starve and have nothing around at late night, then it might be a go for a 10 bucks frozen Pizza lmao.

 

[p1138]

That's pathetic. Some probably six figure junk machine that achieves the amazing task of heating up a frozen pizza. This is even dumber than Juicero.

Nailed it.

https://pizzaforno.com/blog/pizza-vending-machine-price-ultimate-guide

Of course there's also going to be all of the other stupid costs associated with it. Even if you made $4 a sale, you'd need to sell 50 a day for 545 days straight just to pay for the fucking machine, nevermind the property, utilities, permits, and somewhere else with appropriate frozen food storage(you'd need a pretty good size walk-in if you're selling 50 a day) and all of those associated costs, and still have to deal with maintenance and pay someone to stock the stupid thing(or do it yourself) as well as your main storage being in a location where you can receive deliveries from a truck so someone needs to be there for that as well.

Seems like they launched their youtube channel in December 2021, have to assume it's some guy who conned some venture capitalists to invest in his bullshit and then of course con some franchise owners. Makes zero sense except in very few locations that would likely cost even more to set one up.

 

[the khat quaffer]

"not like domino's" as if that's anything to compare a pizza with

ay ay ayy domino's got us jr. jacketeers through those late nights at the office in grad school
(fun fact: indians and chinks don't know a thing about using coupons/deals. I remember showing a friend about domino's 2 for 5.99 each deal and him shitting his jockeys. Any pizza joint woulda made bank off the engineering building...but drivers would of course get fucked, as tipping is ALSO a foreign concept to them.)

Not only that, they sheepishly asked if they could slip a cosmonaut onto a future Apollo flight, they knew it'd never happen but they tried.

Is that actually true? If Chernobyl (the TV show) taught me anything it's that the USSR would NEVER ask the US for anything, not even remotely controlled garbage-removal robots to clean up radioactive waste that was actively killing them.

So he's excited about a pizza vending machine outside of a car dealership. Japane has had these for ages, even the pajeets figured it out years ago

Says the pizzas are frozen, they don't have to be in vending machines but if that is the case paying $12 for a fucking frozen pizza?

$12 for frozen pizza? ...maybe a Home Run Inn pizza.

Wait until he finds out about Japan's other vending machines.

Seriously though I guess I am blissfully ignorant or a country bumpkin because I've never seen a ...pizza ATM... in my college days. Or, ever. I kind of consider myself lucky because that sounds disgusting and peak Amerimutt culture. Seriously, maybe ISIS was right about us.
I simply don't understand the appeal except to the bottom-rung tier of lazy fucks with a dogshit palette (JACK) or stoners with pocket change. If you're gonna already be putting down money, at least put down a few more bucks and get it made RIGHT. A lot of things in life are worth the extra nickel.
Also hilarious that you have to cut it...with a plastic knife. Lmao. Guess Jack's gonna be shit outta luck if he ever has to order one on his own. He just might have to do the Muslim thing.