before i get into it, i wanna say i'm looking at another surgeon now. i already have a solution, this is just a rant and possible discussion. if anyone has had a similar experience, i'm so sorry bro. if you had a very different, very wonderful experience, i'm so happy for you! i really hope he was just having a bad day, but from his results i'm still seeing another surgeon.
maybe, just maybe i met the guy at a bad day or a bad time, but come on man.
i scheduled a consult with Dr. Dany Hana because im in the north texas area and wanted to get meta locally so i could recover at home. my mom put me on her insurance again recently and its some good shit, and its the only way im gonna afford this, so the cheaper the better.
so i go to this guy, he had no results pics on his site but i get it. i go back and forth on whether i want to post results pics. his site says proudly and prominently that he uses the belgrade technique for meta, and that his team will "do everything in their power to give you the results you want"
so i go in bright eyed and bushy tailed, i mean holy shit, you know? im gonna be able to spend the majority of my life here on out with the body i want! why wouldn't i be hyped?
i show up a bit late, hella rain, they actually called me to ask if i wanted to do a virtual visit from how bad the weather was but i was already halfway there so we just lost 10 minutes.
so i go back into the room, i'm pumped, dr. Hana comes in, great handshake, but its downhill from there.
he says we can only talk about one procedure for the sake of time, so i start by asking about meta. i reason that i've done so much research on top, and there's a bunch of info out there. all he'd tell me is what procedure i'd get specifically, what supplies i'd get, and we could do that at a later appointment.
so then he asks me "what is your priority with meta?"
i'm not entirely sure how to answer, but i do have one, "the whole package, but mainly fat nuts"
he cringes and says "yeah well you can't get UL with large implants, so we can't do the UL"
and
then just continues to stare at me.
i'm of course upset, but he just stares at me, waiting for me to say something.
i'm waiting for him to say something because he's the expert here, so finally i just ask him "well why?"
"it just can't"
i'm still confused so i press for more, and finally he explains that it could erode the urethra.
that's perfectly useful information, but sir... why did you make me interrogate you for it? why are you treating me like a spoiled child? this is my body. didn't your website say you could accommodate people's desires?
so now i'm trying to ask him what his sacks look like, how big they are, because maybe my definition of 'fat nuts' is not his definition of 'fat nuts' maybe he thinks i want bowling balls? and
he tells me he doesn't do a sack, it will HAVE to be in two, that all he can do, and all most surgeons will do.
i'm upset, i feel like my face is being rubbed in shit, but imma keep going.
i ask to see his results, and he does and oh....oh man.
yeah no shade if that's what you want, but
what's the point of a sack if it doesn't hang? i don't want Labia Majora TWO! and he leaves a bigass seam between the two.
i know a lot of cis men have tight sacks, ends up looking like two, but i just want one sack.
and all of the balls are itty bitty. 
i then mention the belgrade method, and he sighs, and in a weary tone asks what i 'think it is' because 'everyone has different ideas about it' and he sounds like he's trying to stop himself from going on a frustrated rant.
i tell him what i've been told, and
he cuts me off and corrects me.
i get that i had it wrong, but there's something called 'not being a fuckhead' and when we're talking about my fucking genitals, i'd like a little damn courtesy!
the information he tells me is good, but the way he tells it, and
the fact that he just keeps going quiet and staring at me like he has to make sure he hasn't hurt my little feefees just makes me feel like shit. and
i look like fucking bryce, i look like a dickhead jeep owner, i don't know why he's being delicate with me. i'm not acting delicate? what the fuck is going on?
frustrated, i ask him if he can use my mons skin to give me more nut, because i have so much mons you can't see anything from the front.(FYI, someone needs to make transguy specific strokers that work for fat mons havers, shape it like a smoking pipe, literally steal my idea and go make money)
anyway he cuts me off and shuts that idea down, saying he can't do that. "but you can probably ask another surgeon, if you want, but we don't do that here" and he sounds frustrated with me.
he then mentions my weight, i'm 5"2', 170(?) and he tells me i gotta lose that weight.
i tell him that the 170 number is from 5 months ago, i don't own a scale so i don't know how much i weigh, and then he cuts me off again to repeat himself, saying i need to get down to 150-145.
i tell him i'm perfectly happy to do that, as i have already been losing weight, i've lost a lot of weight and if he has a scale i could give him an accurate number.
but then he moves on, ignoring what i said.
i start asking him about the recovery timeline for meta, and he keeps changing the subject. at this point i'm in a whirlwind so i don't remember what he was changing the subject to, cuz i keep bringing it back to the timeline. he says it will be two stage, and i'll need six months to recover between them.
i then ask him that if i get that all done at the size he reccomends, at some point lter in my life, like ten years on, could i size up?
you know what this prick says to me?
"i mean you can try, but
you WILL erode your urethra. just saying" with a coy little shrug. "
yeah well if you get bigger balls and get a fistula you'll ruin your urethra and then you'll have to sit to pee anyway, so. yeah."
if he had bult rapport with me, i'd be fine with that, but
he was treating this like i was an annoying little shit, some vain, conceited child who needed to be knocked down a peg for wanting big nuts. GOD FORBID a man has desires, and GOD FORBID you be nice and sympathetic to him.
i remember now what he was cutting off my timeline questions for; dick measuring.
he kept reminding me that my dick would be small with meta, and was saying that fat nuts would drown it out, cuz it'll be so small. you realize that right? with meta we don't add any length? you won't have muc to work with.
...yes Dr. Hana, i know! believe it or not i know what metoidioplasty is you jackfuck.
he goes on to say that if you have large nuts and a small "peen", it won't look as big.
first of all, we're men here, say cock. say penis. say dick. i don't wanna hear peen. shut up. second... its a fucking shrimp no matter what, you really can't make it look longer.
i'd rather look like a cis guy with a shrimper than have an invisible cock and microballs that just look like flappy labia. how does that not make sense to this guy?
i tell him that, and then explain that i don't want phallo because you lose sensation.
he cuts me off to say "not always"
hey man, bullshit.
i know phallo sex still feels good, but the skin of my arm only contains around 200-500 nerve endings per square inch. with how dismissive this guy is being, i don't want to tell him all my reasons for wanting meta over phallo. and i'm sure you guys are nice too but i'd like some privacy on that. but i'll tell you what i told him,
"they make cock sleeves, extenders, so if i need length i can pop one on. but it has to be my nuts. it just has to be."
he finally relents that yeah, ok, maybe a phallo cock isn't as sensitive as a meta cock, which is fucking wild. what are you, a Phallhova's Witness? why are you trying to preach to me? its my body, shitwipe. i just told you what i want, you know damn well how strongly people feel about this, you just told me "hmmm, no sowwy" and i'm gonna be upset! i'm allowed that!
he tells me i gotta "manage my expectations" and says over and over about the results pics he showed me that i won't look exactly like that. but not in a kind way, it sounds like he's telling me "you're gonna look worse and smaller"
there's no hope, no sympathy, just a disappointed frustration. how dare i be so foolish as to dream.
i ask him if i can stretch the skin to help out,
i ask him if losing weight will give me more skin for balls, i ask him if he can use my mons skin, i ask him if i can use a ball stretcher once its healed up and then get bigger balls in the future. to all of these
he gives me that same, frustrated look. 'i already told you no, and no means no, you aren't getting what you want' that was the vibe.
the message i got was "you can never get what you want, you'll get what we give you"
he actually told me, on the using the mons skin, that "our team can't do that, but feel free to ask another surgeon"
on the way home that line rattled in my head, and it just strikes me as a cop-out. so you're telling me that you don't have the skill to fulfill your promise of "doing everything in our power to give you the results you want"
what a joke.
oh i should mention,
when i say fat nuts, i mean a sack the size of my closed fist. i'll take a bit smaller if its too much, but i need gravity to affect them, i gotta feel the swing. i'm not asking for watermelons. dude never asked what i meant by fat nuts.
so anyway,
i'm setting up a virtual consultation with the crane center, because ive seen their results and those are some real great doorknockers there. looking like a flaccid horse. hell yes brother! and their scrotal technique looks wonderful! you get actual separation so you can work up a swing with that shit. also a perineum? oh buddy! AND!
their site says they can give you larger balls if you want!
i have to ask more questions when i get the consult, but i say that all to say, i feel like i got lied to.
maybe someone who knows more than me is reading this and going "actually, he's right, its too dangerous! but sure maybe he wasn't nice about it"
but seeing another group of surgeons who are highly reccomended not only advocating for but advertising larger balls makes me think that its very much possible, and Dr. Hana just doesn't have the skill for it. but he was so certain that he was my best option, and that my desires were too outlandinsh.
ruined my mood thoroughly, the rest of this day has felt awful. i had plans and now i'm having to just unwind and relax.
TL;DR surgeon told me that not only could he not give me what i wanted, but no one should because it was too risky and i was asking for too much, and then never asked me to clarify to make sure we were on the same page. his results weren't what i wanted so i'll be seeking out another surgeon anyway, and i've already found a perfect one in Austin!
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