Stephanie Cianfriglia / Sapphire Crimson Claw / Yarrow Brown / the-ghost-fucker / transmascdruid / anarchoenby77 / darktwistedpussy / Druid of Endicot - Xe/xyr ghost-fucker, womb wizard, hand sanitizer sommelier, trans-boomer, violently abuses her elderly parents, has sexual fantasies about raping children

[swingbatta]

You should fucking know if it's hairballs. You can tell when you clean up their vomit, because there will be obvious hair in there. If you're that worried TAKE YOUR GOD DAMN CAT TO THE GOD DAMN VET CLINIC.

This one got me MATI, I'll admit. There are a lot of reasons cats throw up, and while I'm not grabbing the cat carrier every time one of my cats throws up, if it's happening *repeatedly*, it's a big fucking problem. It could be benign--eating too fast is a common cause for throwing up right after eating and can usually be fixed with either smaller portions or a puzzle bowl--but it could also be real fuckin' bad, like an illness (fatty liver disease can cause vomiting, and if you don't jump on it right away, it can end up being lethal) or a blockage from eating something they shouldn't have.

She wanted a black cat and had one picked out, but that was the one she couldn't get because someone contacted the shelter and told them about the things that she actually said. She only wanted a black cat for the aesthetics and would be completely unprepared for the Black Cat Experience (they are the best, but they are a handful)

^ Seconded. I love my little void boy, but he had a vomiting episode that TERRIFIED me and sent us both off to the expensive emergency vet. The reason? Idiot had eaten (and vomited back up) a produce bag he'd somehow tracked down. He's currently fine, btw; just had the world's most expensive tummy ache.

With Staph's cleanliness? A black cat wouldn't last 20 minutes.

 

[Aunt Carol]

eating too fast is a common cause for throwing up right after eating and can usually be fixed with either smaller portions or a puzzle bowl

Sometimes cats with food insecurity issues will bolt their food as soon as it appears, too.

Not to get overdramatic, but Sigyn has a ~traumatic history~ and now she's dependent on goofball to feed her in a house of squalor. If Stephanie's erratic on food times, it's not going to reassure the kitty.

 

[Pillar Of The Community]

She’s already admitted she overfeeds Siggy, so you know she can’t be fucked to get to the bottom of her puking everywhere and do something about it. She just pays enough attention to yap into the void about it online.

Does her apartment have carpet floors? I think they might be tile, but if not…

 

[BoobWhiskers]

Autofeeders are like $50 on Amazon. We got one because our little cat gremlin wouldn't stop waking people up at 5am on a Saturday screaming for breakfast.

We set it to dispense little portions over the course of the day, which stopped the screaming at people (he screams at the Little Food God now, which is in the kitchen), and also improved his habit of absolutely gobbling like he's a little waif from the streets and then horking it back up.

People love cats. If any of the 2 people who aren't kiwifarmers who read her posts saw a request for kitty purchase assistance, they'd be a lot more likely to help with that than her bougie-ass chocolate bars.

 

[Pee Your Pants]

Happy Hallowe'en Kiwis! Hope you are having a lovely spooky time.

'This is the last time' Either she's hell bent on moving to the special qweer apartment building, or she's lost her enthusiasm for it.

It's that time of the year again! The veil has thinned and darkness encroaches. We must ward off bad spirits by wearing costumes and carving pumpkins!

I thought you liked bad spirits.

I will give a gift to you.

NO THANKS.

She's mainly been watching a lot of horror films, so naturally has been very boring. Some scraps:

Just a regular day, then.


I am SHOCKED that she hasn't watched her husband's favourite movie. She needs to indulge in his interests, I'm sure he's bored of fart videos. Also, Exorcist 3 is a great movie.


A cat waking you up early to be fed is average cat behaviour.

Blue Sky is full of miserable bitches.


It doesn't apply to you then.


She's not mentioned Loki for a while, but here we go.


I predict she will talk about a frivolous purchase soon, to blow that $20 just so she can ebeg.


Sigi is being a little bitch and it's nice to see Staph on the other side of that miserable behaviour. Blue Sky really is a circle jerk of misery.

 

[Sailor Swift]

Happy Halloween, coven! I see there's some tricks and treats for us!

I am SHOCKED that she hasn't watched her husband's favourite movie. She needs to indulge in his interests, I'm sure he's bored of fart videos. Also, Exorcist 3 is a great movie.

Dahmer being forced to deal with Staph and her fart videos is too light a punishment for him, let's be real.

I predict she will talk about a frivolous purchase soon, to blow that $20 just so she can ebeg.

More bougie tea on the way.

Also.

This should not have made me laugh as hard as it did. She said 👁👁

 

[Aunt Carol]

I am SHOCKED that she hasn't watched her husband's favourite movie. She needs to indulge in his interests, I'm sure he's bored of fart videos. Also, Exorcist 3 is a great movie.

Going to the movie theater (is this a Fathom event?) is a really low-effort, low-energy outing. Old people love it (even if they're usually going to the cheaper showings). Pretty pathetic.


If anyone wants to learn about Stephanie's foil Zak Bagans, without having to watch his show or collate references, tolerable Zoomer Billiam just posted a video about why the Travel Channel is all ghosts now. The first 28 minutes are a little corporate history and then it's all all Zak Bagans clips/gossip: I Watched Every GHOST SHOW on THE TRAVEL CHANNEL.

eta: it's still so funny that she has serious occult rivalry with a host from the Travel Channel. It's like when you find out your uncle has been nursing a years long, one-sided beef against one particular local meteorologist.

 

[Sailor Swift]

Going to the movie theater (is this a Fathom event?) is a really low-effort, low-energy outing. Old people love it (even if they're usually going to the cheaper showings). Pretty pathetic.


If anyone wants to learn about Stephanie's foil Zak Bagans, without having to watch his show or collate references, tolerable Zoomer Billiam just posted a video about why the Travel Channel is all ghosts now. The first 28 minutes are a little corporate history and then it's all all Zak Bagans clips/gossip: I Watched Every GHOST SHOW on THE TRAVEL CHANNEL.

eta: it's still so funny that she has serious occult rivalry with a host from the Travel Channel. It's like when you find out your uncle has been nursing a years long, one-sided beef against one particular local meteorologist.

I'm always afraid of derailing or powerleveling or sperging a little too hard, so I always try to bring up My Old Job™ in a way that adds to the conversation/thread or offers some kind of insight. (I could literally talk about it and tells stories ALL DAY.) But it's always funny watching these sort of shows and videos after having worked at one of those locations, because you can see just how staged these ghost shows are. Zak's antics have left such a shitty impression on how people behave at these locations, whether they're ghost hunting or taking a day tour or whatever. People act a fool, because they either act like Zak as a joke or because they're following his example. Like, I worked at My Old Job™ years after Zak was there, but he was still used as an example of what not to do. He's still the butt of many jokes.

Another funny thing is that I'd be willing to bet he has to fake so much evidence because the ghosts...just plain don't fucking like him. I can't speak for every location, but I can say that there were spots in mine where all activity would just...stop. Like it would just stop if you were an asshole or brought up certain topics or events or even names. Whether or not you believed in the paranormal (and there were people I worked with who didn't believe the location was haunted), you just didn't....say or do certain things in these spots. Because whether or not it was haunted, there was still the memory of the dead there, and you respected that. Especially since some of those names still have living relatives. It's disrespectful in so many ways.

To round it back to Staph, I'm genuinely surprised she hasn't tried a little harder to get into the ghost hunting hobby. If not actively going to locations, then at least engaging more in the communities. There's a lot to be said about the current state of it, but it's not a hard hobby to get into. Travel (and location fees, depending on the spot) will eat up more of your money than anything else, especially if you ignore all the scammy gadgets and ghost hunting equipment. Just get a good flashlight so you don't break your neck, a coat if it's cold, and some comfy shoes. Some bugspray if it's summer. If you want to capture evidence, you're going to have more luck with a cheaper, older camera. I'd bet her parents have an old digital camera she could borrow.

 

[Aunt Carol]

If you want to capture evidence, you're going to have more luck with a cheaper, older camera.

Hmmm.

But yeah, it's like how she wouldn't even be the most socially-awkward one if she took up tabletop RPGs or M:TG at a local shop. There are so many opportunities like this to find community, and Stephanie, with no job and no obligations begging her time, just stays alone in her fartshack.

Like you said, there's even at least one local ghost-hunting group that does public events. And she's on the east coast, where everything is closer together and history exists is so much more likely to have a building associated with it so you're not squatting in the rain trying to talk to murdered Indians/settlers. There's no reason she should be resigned to only watching people hunt ghosts on TV.

She couldn't even sell her "queer group" on doing anything for Halloween.

 

[DatBepisTho]

I know it's Staph and she's too trans-Boomer to get on Steam, but she could totally hunt ghosts from the safety of her couch altar by getting into Phasmophobia. Shit isn't as interesting as travelling to a place with actual history, but for a few bucks it's the next best thing + you can play alone or with friends/randos.

 

[Quack_Quack]

It always has to be 'my ancestors were Vikings, my ancestors were Visigoths'; your ancestors were probably covered in cow shit like everyone else, girl, chill.

Her ancestors did more work in one day than she has in her life.

Also, the closest she gets to being Nordic is smelling the same as some of their preserved fish... surstromming or hakarl anyone?

Seconded. I love my little void boy, but he had a vomiting episode that TERRIFIED me and sent us both off to the expensive emergency vet. The reason? Idiot had eaten (and vomited back up) a produce bag he'd somehow tracked down. He's currently fine, btw; just had the world's most expensive tummy ache.

With Staph's cleanliness? A black cat wouldn't last 20 minutes.

I swear, black cats are either owners of the brain cell timeshare with it 90% of the time, or with less time than orange cats and ADHD.

 

[it's pronounced gif]

Also, the closest she gets to being Nordic is smelling the same as some of their preserved fish... surstromming or hakarl anyone?

Thanks asshat, now I have to imagine a person who smells like stale BO and lutefisk. Ugh. Ugh.

 

[JanuaryViolet]

The silence is... weird. Three days after our founder Yarrow's high holy day and we have no word? No parable about how she pwned the fash and had a true spiritual connection with whatever gods she's banging these days?
Something's up. I hope her mom is ok.

 

[BoobWhiskers]

The silence is... weird. Three days after our founder Yarrow's high holy day and we have no word? No parable about how she pwned the fash and had a true spiritual connection with whatever gods she's banging these days?
Something's up. I hope her mom is ok.

Don't worry, she's just fine. Satan rained on her Samhain, is all. She's been posting as normal on Bsky.



Also, she's still literally the encyclopedia image of 'entitled cunt', don't worry.

 

[OrSoHelpMe]

Those struggle hot dogs probably go down well with her $6 a can probiotic soda.

She’s been talking about using food banks for months but this is her first ever experience with struggle food or making substitutions based on what you can get, based on her amazement that it still tastes good. Is she just stockpiling the food bank food?

Steph’s idea of the struggle of the poors is that food banks don’t give out fancy granola or probiotic soda and this month she has to buy her own food so she can’t have her treats.

Also, I wonder if anyone picked up one of the bags she abandoned on the sidewalk. Every parent wants their kid to try the candy they got from a crumpled bag they found on the ground.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Weird that the ghosts of her newly-Swedish ancestors didn't appear in her mirror before she left and tell her to DRESS IN LAYERS.

I don't talk to any dead Scandinavians, but the pre-dead old ones have all kinds of opinions on staying warm.

 

[Spangled Drongo]

Weird that the ghosts of her newly-Swedish ancestors didn't appear in her mirror before she left and tell her to DRESS IN LAYERS.

I don't talk to any dead Scandinavians, but the pre-dead old ones have all kinds of opinions on staying warm.

She's known for a while she's part Swedish, but I'd love to see her take on dressing for cold weather - it almost certainly involves a plasticky costume cape, even though I'm sure she could get something cape-adjacent that actually insulates against cold without spending a fortune. Unless she's one of those absolute gremlins that insists on short sleeves even when it's freezing outside (I know a few of these, even living in one of the coldest parts of my country). Or... she owns a puffer jacket in the least manly colour/print ever since we all know Yarbles thinks an all over daisy print is peak bxy fashion.

 

[Polexia Aphrodisia]

Hamburger is also very expensive. It's like $10 for a pound of 90/10 on a tray where I am, and the tube-wrapped ground beef seems to be shrinking.

For broke people with families and who aren't just shoving calories down their own greased maw, hamburger PLUS hot dogs is not a "struggle meal".

 

[swingbatta]

Hamburger is also very expensive. It's like $10 for a pound of 90/10 on a tray where I am, and the tube-wrapped ground beef seems to be shrinking.

For broke people with families and who aren't just shoving calories down their own greased maw, hamburger PLUS hot dogs is not a "struggle meal".

I think she subbed hot dogs for the hamburger in Hamburger Helper--which, for the record, is pretty expensive for what it is (pasta and seasonings, then you add the hamburger to it). For the same price you could get one of those bags of seasoning and a whole box of pasta, which ends up being around $1.50.

 

[Aunt Carol]

For broke people with families and who aren't just shoving calories down their own greased maw, hamburger PLUS hot dogs is not a "struggle meal".

Stephanie is referencing a meme/viral post:


translator note: Hamburger Helper is a boxed dry mix of noodles, flavoring and whey/sauce mix. Its intent is to inexpensively stretch meat while staying convenient--of course anyone could cook noodles and sauce on their own. There's also a Tuna Helper.

There's also the store brand, Panburger Partner.