💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 17 1.1%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.2%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.4%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 2.8%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 16.6%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 252 16.2%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 899 57.9%

  • Total voters
    1,553
So, Soub momfth, Is Jack finally unable to eat solids?

Like I remember when people were wishing dysphagia on Jack, the fact it may actually be happening is mindblowing.

And now a cooking idiocy admission: I once bought diced tomatoes because I wanted the taco style diced tomatoes, when I opened the can I was like "Oh, I am an absolute dumb shit".
 

Unfortunately, there's a new Food News. Nothing noteworthy happens. But here are a few notes:
  • Jack claims research is now showing that fast food is no longer a low-cost option for Americans. (I'm too lazy to research this but anecdotally I believe it.)
    • Politically blackpilled, he blames this on California's "20-dollar minimum wage," despite the fact (a) this is happening nationwide, not just in California, and (b) it's actually $16.50.
      • (c) Jack left California for Tennessee over 10 years ago, and it still messes with him that people there, in wokitywokeville, are living normal human lives, unbothered by the departure or absence of Jack Scalfani, unmurdered by gangs, generally healthy and happy. (Meanwhile, Tennessee is the fourth-saddest state and is in the Bottom 10 for health care.)

  • 1:45 = Times are hard in the U.S. right now. Folks are struggling. Groceries, gas, rent -- it's affecting everything from marriage to birth rates. Jack's main concern, though? Those poor restaurant chains! Won't someone PLEASE think of the thousands of Wendy's, TGI Friday's and Applebee's locations?! They're suffering!

  • Jack randomly hates on the Filipino restaurant chain Jollibee for being a chicken restaurant when there are already so many chicken restaurants. He's right, of course: Jollibee should be a steak chain or a pizzeria. Or even a Chili's! You know, something a bit more underrepresented.
    • Also, Jollibee will be entering the U.S. for the first time soon, in Sacramento. (Edit: False! They're already in CA, as noted by Tiresome. Also, this article says they're already in Sacramento, lol.) Jack sarcastically says, "Good luck," to Jollibee, butt-hurt presumably because, again, California.
      • At this point we're just watching the famous Mad Men elevator scene, with Jack as Michael Ginsberg and California as Don Draper. Actually, it's worse: Imagine Ginsberg not only seething but also starving and on crack. Because that's Tennessee, which was just named the worst state to live in in all of America: an assessment the locals on R*ddit lustily agree with.
      • Also, Food News is fucking pointless if Jack's not even going to do the most rudimentary google-fu when presenting these headlines. Why Sacramento? Probably mainly because the Philippines are much closer to our West Coast, but also likely because Sacramento's food manufacturing sector is booming and it's one of the fastest-growing American cities. Walter Cronkite he ain't. More like Falter Chonkbite. I'm here all night, folks! Also, sorry.

  • 4:15 = Jack falsely claims that "millions" of dead people were paid SNAP benefits and "millions" of people were double-paid. This is why SNAP, which helped keep Jack alive when he was a selfish fat youth demanding triple portions from his single mother, is "corrupt."

  • 4:35 = Jack reiterates a position he's said before: If you're on SNAP, then you shouldn't be able to eat cake or fast food or drink Coca Cola. For some reason he calls drinking Coca Cola "doing coke." (Hey, the '80s is his favorite decade! And he still has the coke bloat!)
    • I've said this before and I stand by it: Small, simple pleasures are psychologically important, and people on SNAP deserve them sometimes too. No one on SNAP is living in a mansion. They're not eating caviar and blinis for dinner. They should be able to plop down on their sofa after a long day at work, watch a show they like and eat a candy bar if they want. Their kid should be able to have some cake on their birthday.
      • Jack's hand-wringing about fast food is a moot point anyway. As a general hard rule, SNAP cannot be used to buy hot food, i.e., the kind of food served by fast food chains. And this rule is only breakable (a) at select locations (b) for seven fast food chains (c) in nine states (d) if you are also old, disabled or homeless. In other words, it's easily or commonly breakable by almost no one. Jack's just bitching to bitch, a.k.a., it's a Saturday.
 
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Also, Jollibee will be entering the U.S. for the first time soon, in Sacramento. Jack sarcastically says, "Good luck," to Jollibee, butt-hurt presumably because, again, California.
Jollibee has had multiple locations in California for years. I can't wait for Jack to breathlessly tell us about/rage about this 'brand new' fass-fud chain called "Chipoltie Burritos"
 
Jollibee has had multiple locations in California for years. I can't wait for Jack to breathlessly tell us about/rage about this 'brand new' fass-fud chain called "Chipoltie Burritos"
Thank you for the information; I'll update my post. I should've known not to trust anything Jack says at face value. Actually, I should've known there'd be a compound error. Not only is the chain already in the U.S., it's also already in Sacramento. This article, which he probably "read" because it was published about a week ago, is announcing the second and third locations there, not the first, which is already at Southpointe Plaza.
 
Jack randomly hates on the Filipino restaurant chain Jollibee for being a chicken restaurant when there are already so many chicken restaurants. He's right, of course: Jollibee should be a steak chain or a pizzeria. Or even a Chili's! You know, something a bit more underrepresented.
  • Also, Jollibee will be entering the U.S. for the first time soon, in Sacramento. Jack sarcastically says, "Good luck," to Jollibee, butt-hurt presumably because, again, California.
But Jollibee has been in the US already since the late 90s, what the fuck is he talking about? They've even got locations in over a dozen states since something like 2010... while Fatty was still in California with multiple locations down in southern California where he lived.

4:35 = Jack reiterates a position he's said before: If you're on SNAP, then you shouldn't be able to eat cake or fast food or drink Coca Cola. For some reason he calls drinking Coca Cola "doing coke." (Hey, the '80s is his favorite decade! And he still has the coke bloat!)
  • I've said this before and I stand by it: Small, simple pleasures are psychologically important, and people on SNAP deserve them sometimes too. No one on SNAP is living in a mansion. They're not eating caviar and blinis for dinner. They should be able to plop down on their sofa after a long day at work, watch a show they like and eat a candy bar if they want. Their kid should be able to have some cake on their birthday.
    • Jack's hand-wringing about fast food is a moot point anyway. As a general hard rule, SNAP cannot be used to buy hot food, i.e., the kind of food served by fast food chains. And this rule is only breakable at (a) select locations (b) for seven fast food chains (c) in nine states (d) if you are also old, disabled or homeless. In other words, it's easily or commonly breakable by almost no one. Jack's just bitching to bitch, a.k.a., it's a Saturday.
He's a selfish retard and only sees SNAP as free fud that he isn't getting.

edit: I'm pretty sure Jollibee being in California pre-dates a bunch of other US chicken chains being in California where Fatty lived most of his life except KFC(duh), El Pollo Loco, Popeyes, and maybe Church's(Chick Fil A had locations in CA in the 80s, but they're sandwiches, not just fried chicken or even tendies really). Definitely sooner than Raising Cane's, Krispy Krunchy Chicken(fucking gas station fried chicken of all things), Bojangles, Wingstop, and Zaxby's(And then there's a handful of Tennessee hot chicken chains that have opened up in the past decade). It's amazing how retarded Fatty can be at times, but then you remember his brain is mush.
 
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To invoke and paraphrase an old political adage: Jack's approach to the morality, considerations, and prescriptions concerning others' needs (and the markets which arise to fulfill the demands created by those needs) is extremely simple:

If Jack doesn't have something he wants, he acts like having it is a god-given right all are entitled to - then denies it to others; because he's god.

If Jack already has it, he decrees that no one else deserves to have it (now that he's gotten his).

If there's something available to everybody - but Jack doesn't want it -, he decrees that no one should have it; and obviously feels that those who have the thing he doesn't want for himself have personally wronged him. He does this even when it's something he has previously used or felt entitled to (such as the aforementioned food stamps). The only role Jack allows empathy to play in his life is refusing to feel any form of it that isn't hunger. He is more animal than the man he never managed to be.

He seriously spends all day confined to his poopoo couch, positively fuming over knowing that people exist and lead lives independently of his whims. And he pretends that this infantile attitude of evil is aligned with political and Biblical morality.

I can't help but wonder if he turns his hat forward or backwards when he's hurting his own feelings over this shit. I long for the day this hate-engorged tick eats himself out of being able to use his phone because; even though we'll be deprived of his "content", it will be funny as hell knowing he's lost his only outlet for inflicting himself upon the world (outside of his cow-nostriled wife who hates him, or their POS pole barn-framed home he moved them into to pwn the libs).
 
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What the fuck are gas station out there in the midwest? We have shitkicker gulp n' blows where you get your oven lamp dogs and blues from quickie G and fuck off before high noon.

What the fuck?

Unfortunately
a few things. written in parallel.

"there seems to be a lot of headlines on the cost of fast food..prices have ...spending more to go out" "you can go out to chilis and get burger fries and coke which is an amazing burger"

I have nothing to say except I want to bludgeon you to death with a baseball bat. You don't know what a good burger is.

"we've been to red robin's, they charge like $16 a burger"
Hm. sounds like a good shit-ass burger to me. never been

"you'd have to eat a lot of bottomless fries to get your money's worth."

I can't stand fat retarded fags that pig out at buffets and it's just such a disgusting thing to do.


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Jack content? C+. actual? F-

edit: unfucked the post
 
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As a general hard rule, SNAP cannot be used to buy hot foo
I learned recently that SNAP has two components. One is the money you get to use only on grocery store food and there is another that is SNAP cash. Not all people get both benefits, but with SNAP cash, you can buy anything you want with it. Fast food, TVs, nails, etc. I was shocked too to learn about this, but it is apparently a thing.
 
I learned recently that SNAP has two components. One is the money you get to use only on grocery store food and there is another that is SNAP cash. Not all people get both benefits, but with SNAP cash, you can buy anything you want with it. Fast food, TVs, nails, etc. I was shocked too to learn about this, but it is apparently a thing.
I learned recently that SNAP has two components. One is the money you get to use only on grocery store food and there is another that is SNAP cash. Not all people get both benefits, but with SNAP cash, you can buy anything you want with it. Fast food, TVs, nails, etc. I was shocked too to learn about this, but it is apparently a thing.
This upsets me to no end.

Aunt of mine is on the federal teat. Absolutely disgusting that you can buy shit with stamps besides foods. She got a frozen turkey bigger than her stomach. On top of that, candied yams, swansons stock, canned goodies, other shit. non snap. She is broke and unemployed but not starving. I was legit mad about it. I told her other people need this more than us. Got the usual mealy mouthing about niggers and gooks. Being in a tough spot right now this honestly makes me angry.

But there's a whole thread (featured!) about it so who cares. I'm so angry at this selfishness every year.
 
"you'd have to eat a lot of bottomless fries to get your money's worth."

Oh golly josh, this needs a very serious discussion from Jack's perspective. Nothing screams intellectual enlightement like arguing over which Fast Food joint serves the most "bottomless" fries so you can balance out the value. After you drove 2 fucking hours there for your goyslop galore.

Fucking Hell.

I still don't get the obsession (mostly) Boomers have with eating low quality (as if Jack goes to a "decent" Restaurant/Joint anyway) goyslop at excessive prices & then feeling nostalgia for when the dogshit was slightly better. I guess it's like Babushkas in Russia pining for the days of USSR to return.
 
Nothing screams intellectual enlightement like arguing over which Fast Food joint serves the most "bottomless" fries so you can balance out the value. After you drove 2 fucking hours there for your goyslop galore.

He browbeat his wife into driving him the two hours; so he could let us all know his statistical analysis and definitive, precedent-setting judgement concerning the prorated value offered by what is advertised as "bottomless fries." I have faith Jack will reimburse Tammy once Utoob pays out all the money the video made.

Jack does so much for us, and what thanks does he get for sharing FREE wisdom and selflessness? And you just know he shared all the leftover bottomless fries with the homeless as soon as he stopped filming. If only he still allowed comments on his videos, he would tell us, then further contextualize it as being "the right thing to do"; because how are we to know?
 
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Oh golly josh, this needs a very serious discussion from Jack's perspective. Nothing screams intellectual enlightement like arguing over which Fast Food joint serves the most "bottomless" fries so you can balance out the value. After you drove 2 fucking hours there for your goyslop galore.

Fucking Hell.

I still don't get the obsession (mostly) Boomers have with eating low quality (as if Jack goes to a "decent" Restaurant/Joint anyway) goyslop at excessive prices & then feeling nostalgia for when the dogshit was slightly better. I guess it's like Babushkas in Russia pining for the days of USSR to return.
Bottomless/never-ending/all-you-can-eat is usually a red flag for a location. That should be an oxymoron for wanting anything delicious. It's usually the dregs that go to these places, or Mom and Dad and their 6 kids. Do I really wanna be in line next to any of that? Not really. Plus, I've seen enough people grabbing food with their bare hands, tongs be damned. Probably wiped their ass barehanded that morning.

Also, just noticed these (next one is a link to his stupid merch store):
Screenshot 2025-11-23 150317.jpg

"BEST CHRISTMAS GIST TO GET"

Of course it's fucking grill related. Even without the embarrassingly bad typo, he STILL would've been grammatically wrong. Strokebrain strikes again. And the all caps. You can practically hear him foaming at the mouth if it's meat related.

Screenshot 2025-11-23 150651.jpg


What's he gonna do, stick his dick in there?

Detailed Seller Information​

Business Name: shenzhenshierlingyibashangmaoyouxiangongsi
Business Address:
龙华街道清华社区龙观东路3号
望城大厦5831
深圳市
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CN

Of course, chinesium gookshit sold in wally worlds across the nation. Still nursing that BBQ sauce wound.

Seller seems to not like 1 star reviews.
 
Bottomless/never-ending/all-you-can-eat is usually a red flag for a location.
There's the occasional rare exception but this is almost always true. You have these places like Golden Corral which are filled to the brim with the trashiest of white trash imaginable. And the average Chinese buffet. You want it made for you so it has had the least contact with rat droppings as possible and is still hot enough to have all the germs dead. I wasn't able to eat Chinese food for years once after getting norovirus from one of those rat traps.
 
I found this song going through one of my folders and thought of Scarffani. I tried to search for it on YT, but I couldn't find it again. Happens sometimes with AI songs. Called My 600lb Life (I'm a Fat A'ss).
 
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red robin
Red Robin was never worth the price they charged, and I'm honestly shocked they outlived Ruby Tuesday.
Think the shittiest denny's burger you've ever had, and it's partially cold.
As to the neverending fry bucket, it's not buffet style, it's a stupid gimmick. You get like a little lunch pail of fries, and it gets refilled whenever the waitress likes, not you.

I had a cousin who fucking loved Red Robin. He's dead now.

Huh, apparently Ruby Tuesday still exists.
 

I think we missed this one because the Eye to Eye channel is a content desert, but I'm not even 30 seconds in and Jack admits that he doesn't know whether or not dinosaurs existed. Probably going to give my full breakdown and notes tomorrow.
 
Red Robin was never worth the price they charged, and I'm honestly shocked they outlived Ruby Tuesday.
Think the shittiest denny's burger you've ever had, and it's partially cold.
As to the neverending fry bucket, it's not buffet style, it's a stupid gimmick. You get like a little lunch pail of fries, and it gets refilled whenever the waitress likes, not you.

I had a cousin who fucking loved Red Robin. He's dead now.

Huh, apparently Ruby Tuesday still exists.
Had RR maybe once back in college with some of the fellas, and it was doordashed because we were sauced to the gills and good Christian Boys(TM) that don't drive drunk. Went through half before tapping out. Some foods are just not suitable for home delivery. I would imagine for RR to be worth getting it would have to be fresh, in store. Jack should do an investigative report on the differences between eating in-store or getting it delivered by some meth addict doing doordash on the side to score some crank later. Because that would be super interesting - the effect of fresh vs. not so fresh. Well, more interesting than fucking in-store vs. app, which are effectively the same.

>I had a cousin who fucking loved Red Robin. He's dead now.

Same energy.
 
Red Robin was never worth the price they charged, and I'm honestly shocked they outlived Ruby Tuesday.
Think the shittiest denny's burger you've ever had, and it's partially cold.
As to the neverending fry bucket, it's not buffet style, it's a stupid gimmick. You get like a little lunch pail of fries, and it gets refilled whenever the waitress likes, not you.

I had a cousin who fucking loved Red Robin. He's dead now.

Huh, apparently Ruby Tuesday still exists.
Red Robin is okay, good shakes but yeah, the burgers are pretty mediocre. Not worth the price and the fries are awful even though they're bottomless
 
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