Tabletop Roleplaying Games (D&D, Pathfinder, CoC, ETC.)

[Tri-Tachyon'sClown]

*snip*

See, now this is proper orc behavior! This is what @Humble Architect's DM should be doing instead of mental interrogating his bald man (and later physically) to orc whores.

 

[Humble Architect]

Well, we had another session and the message was sent, whether it will be heeded is unknown but as predicted, he did try and make me and my sworn brother lay with swine-elves, because we’re off from the main party, leading an Exalted March against the enemies of the King, while the rest of our party is fucking around with pirates.

An orc chieftain tried to reach an accord and prevent the sacking of his keep/surrounding tribal shithole by marrying a daughter to one of us and promising us berserkers as auxiliaries to the main force.

Unfortunately me and my friend had to resort to the desperate measures to communicate that we will not be sullying our characters with his grotesquely over-detailed green whores. We said yes to the offer and on our private texting chat, we on the fly planned and enacted the Green Wedding, which the DM as a GoT fag never once clued in that we were planning and tried to angrily say our oaths were void but we correctly rules lawyered our way out of penalty by bringing out the precise wording.

Then we sacked the keep, burned the village and ordered mass executions.

Because no orc with an ovaries will be suffered until the morale improves.

 

[Uzumaki]

I run a giant ttrpg club, like 16+ people at my table some nights, that I started around the Stranger Things 5e boom. 90% of these people learned to play rpgs from me and I'm starting to realize how much power that gives me.

They're all playing GURPS right now. Second GURPS campaign actually. We use 3rd edition instead of the current one because as with every rpg I have an austistic preference for a specific middle edition.

I have close to 20 zoomer normies, almost gender parity, playing grognard GURPS.

 

[LovisXVI]

I run a giant ttrpg club, like 16+ people at my table some nights, that I started around the Stranger Things 5e boom. 90% of these people learned to play rpgs from me and I'm starting to realize how much power that gives me.

They're all playing GURPS right now. Second GURPS campaign actually. We use 3rd edition instead of the current one because as with every rpg I have an austistic preference for a specific middle edition.

I have close to 20 zoomer normies, almost gender parity, playing grognard GURPS.

I would rather die than play GURPS, but I would rather play GURPS than D&D 5th, so I am pleased. Do a Traveller or a BRP game next.

 

[Uzumaki]

I would rather die than play GURPS, but I would rather play GURPS than D&D 5th, so I am pleased. Do a Traveller or a BRP game next.

I made them play a custom Cepheus last year.

 

[Ghostse]

I run a giant ttrpg club, like 16+ people at my table some nights, that I started around the Stranger Things 5e boom. 90% of these people learned to play rpgs from me and I'm starting to realize how much power that gives me.

They're all playing GURPS right now. Second GURPS campaign actually. We use 3rd edition instead of the current one because as with every rpg I have an austistic preference for a specific middle edition.

I have close to 20 zoomer normies, almost gender parity, playing grognard GURPS.

Good one dude.
You really had me going until you said you got them to play GURPS then I knew this was a troll.

 

[AnOminous]

They're all playing GURPS right now. Second GURPS campaign actually. We use 3rd edition instead of the current one because as with every rpg I have an austistic preference for a specific middle edition.

I have close to 20 zoomer normies, almost gender parity, playing grognard GURPS.

That's fucking amazing. I could never get anyone to play GURPS.

(Did I just get trolled?)

 

[Uzumaki]

I realize this sounds outlandish, thats why I told the story it's unusual, but bear in mind they didn't know it was homework: the roleplaying game going in; that's the point their entire frame of reference for ttrpgs is what I tell them. It's not like a group of regular gamers who has strong opinions on game editions and know what GURPS even is. If I say something is better than D&D they believe me and it doesn't hurt that I'm right.

And GURPS is great it has a lot of selling points for normies who are used to 5e D&D. Skill based, point buy chargen, advantages/disadvantages. You tell someone who has only played D&D "actually, yes, you can play <insane character pitch>" they're on board. You just have to basically make everyone's character for them past the concept stage.

In my experience actually normies really take to games where the baseline is the real world, even more than generic fantasy.

 

[Tri-Tachyon'sClown]

Because no orc with an ovaries will be suffered until the morale improves.

He actually got angry when you ruined his "magical" wedding? Either you and your boy get kicked, he says "fuck it' and rocks fall you and quits, or he gets the hint to not everyone wants to be Green'd. It's a win no matter what.

That's fucking amazing. I could never get anyone to play GURPS.

(Did I just get trolled?)

I'd love to play GURPs (I'd prefer a variety of other games but I don't dislike GURPs if run well) if I found anyone near me running it. But alas, only sex pests and nigger cattle whenever I try. It's all so tiresome and I rather not play online.

 

[Humble Architect]

He actually got angry when you ruined his "magical" wedding? Either you and your boy get kicked, he says "fuck it' and rocks fall you and quits, or he gets the hint to not everyone wants to be Green'd. It's a win no matter what.

That’s the goal, I’ve got a rep in my group as a “campaign-breaker” with six campaign kills under my belt and this game of DND has been two years going, longest one without my tricks and no warnings either.

He was simmering though, so much so that a lecherous parasite immediately got in a call with him after the game, a man who took his hatred of me out on my poor noble lord in his Game of Thrones campaign. You know how the jew writers cucked Stannis? Same idea but it was a fat spic DM, same god too. He really took sadistic pleasure in maiming my character while buffing my rivals.

Roughly a ten-man group btw.

 

[Tri-Tachyon'sClown]

That’s the goal, I’ve got a rep in my group as a “campaign-breaker” with six campaign kills under my belt and this game of DND has been two years going, longest one without my tricks and no warnings either.

Can't say that without telling a few stories, complete with a Henderson scale of Plot Derailment. Also what in the world are you getting into when you have to destroy 6 campaigns.

You know how the jew writers cucked Stannis? Same idea but it was a fat spic DM, same god too. He really took sadistic pleasure in maiming my character while buffing my rivals.

You have more patience than me, would've walked out as soon as that direction was obvious. Again I've love a story sometime.

Roughly a ten-man group btw.

Can't imagine DMing for that many people, I've seen many who could barely handle 4. Unless it's a group of 10 but it's separated between sessions and/or DMs?

 

[Humble Architect]

Can't say that without telling a few stories, complete with a Henderson scale of Plot Derailment. Also what in the world are you getting into when you have to destroy 6 campaigns.

You have more patience than me, would've walked out as soon as that direction was obvious. Again I've love a story sometime.

Can't imagine DMing for that many people, I've seen many who could barely handle 4. Unless it's a group of 10 but it's separated between sessions and/or DMs?

So he’s got two shitty legs that aren’t getting better and works over the computer. The man’s “life” is DND, consooming, work, online “girl” and adderall. He’s long-since split us into seperate sessions but the non-active ones are allowed to hang around. But usually we just get a time to show and we plan around that. Some guys are online call-ins.

He wanted a sprawling epic and he has a deputy DM, two guys who are tracking and competing with oaths and quests Arthurian-style, four worthless retards playing pirate, a gay guy (the Mexican) pretty much doing a solo RP and three inconsistent ones who are pretty much cameos.

Spoiler: Buck-Breaking Campaigns

Not all of these are from the same guy, all of us have taken a stab at DMing, with mixed results.

Game of Thrones Round 1: Sucessfully break a siege intended to be an entire evening of play in a single turn and later kill my rivals (other players) before they can ever be a problem, winning in one night.

Vampire the Masquerade: Get sick of my “friend” blatantly getting off on voicing his OC donut steel. Make one of those special vows that I would kill her. I did, he raged and that was that.

Game of Thrones Round 2: In a heated confrontation with another player, I break the wheel by proclaiming him the Lord of Light’s true chosen and kneel deferentially, if he kills me then the peasants I converted riot, if he spares me, his lords riot. He was so buck-broken that he stalled for AN HOUR and the DM then gimped me by getting ACK’d by a faceless man and later castrated by a Red Priestess (they don’t do that,) I looked it up and called him on his bullshit. The campaign quietly fizzled out as disgruntled players quit.

Star Wars Round 1: Make a Gand gunslinger that acted like Dr Schultz from Django (and do the voice) then sell my team for money and activate a hyperdrive while a docking clamp is in place, in a Peragus-like system. Kaboom. Still lived and was the only survivor. Campaign never continued.

Star Wars Round 2: Playing as Republic Commandos, I played mine like the “I’m CIA” guy from the Bane movie. Party was too busy laughing and nothing got done.

Fallout: I make Big Boss snd utterly destroy a really gay arena plot by being a Hideo Kojima character and speaking like Snake Eater-era Boss by sneaking out and despite lacking any depth perception, I solo the camp and make a private militia in one turn. DM gets vengeful, blinds my other eye, everyone quits and calls it gay.

Any repeat theme campaigns are from the same guy, so game of thrones guy, Star Wars guy and Vampire/Fallout tranny are all different people who I broke. I don’t know why I do it, it’s usually not malicious.

It’s widely accepted that when doing a group campaign, you must acknowledge the following from certain personalities who aren’t going anywhere.

A will be silly and show up high but he brings food.

B takes it dead-serious and can be aloof but if you don’t fuck with him, he’ll be fine.

C is a dick and will break the campaign if I smell weakness

D is a rules-lawyer asian

E is a zoomer and as such is fighting Down syndrome and losing his fight.

F gets off on being a female character (not my friend just to clarify)

G is a gaseous sychophant who hates B and C and thinks they’re right wing radicals. I call him gay every session.

The rest have the distinction of not being exceptional individuals.

 

[Tri-Tachyon'sClown]

Any repeat theme campaigns are from the same guy, so game of thrones guy, Star Wars guy and Vampire/Fallout tranny are all different people who I broke. I don’t know why I do it, it’s usually not malicious.

Humans recognize patterns, your subconscious saw the pattern of faggotry and compelled you to do the world a favor and obliterate it before everyone was too committed, thus preventing most of them from hating you for it and revealing to them that it would have been a gay waste of time. Also borderline baneposting in a campaign is insane behavior and I'm all for it.

C is a dick and will break the campaign if I smell weakness

G is a gaseous sychophant who hates B and C and thinks they’re right wing radicals. I call him gay every session.

Well I can see who C and G is judging by what you wrote before.
I've been a C before, was a Rogue Trader campaign and I spent my entire character arc bullying someone's OC donut steel xeno (I may be a Heretek but I'm no xeno lover). Everyone was giggling their ass off for several sessions until the donut man had enough and actually started crying, which caused the campaign to fizzle out another session later. Ended off on a good note for me at least.

 

[Imperial Citizen]

What a wonderful day! I was late on last week's Dice Scum, in which we reviewed Giant Monster Rampage, and learned how to make giant monsters, but not how to make a tabletop game with said monsters.

Tonight, our simian archeologists uncovered the Planet of the Apes RPG. We shall see if primitive man can make a game worthy of an ape.

 

[Humble Architect]

Humans recognize patterns, your subconscious saw the pattern of faggotry and compelled you to do the world a favor and obliterate it before everyone was too committed, thus preventing most of them from hating you for it and revealing to them that it would have been a gay waste of time. Also borderline baneposting in a campaign is insane behavior and I'm all for it.


Well I can see who C and G is judging by what you wrote before.
I've been a C before, was a Rogue Trader campaign and I spent my entire character arc bullying someone's OC donut steel xeno (I may be a Heretek but I'm no xeno lover). Everyone was giggling their ass off for several sessions until the donut man had enough and actually started crying, which caused the campaign to fizzle out another session later. Ended off on a good note for me at least.

That’s a nice way of saying “team douchebag.”

In person sessions have that social climate that is so, so much better than the trend of “online campaigns.” You haven’t lived until buddy’s girl comes home, forgot it was game night and there’s like five drunken tards disputing slave counts. Then listening to the domestic where they think they’re being quiet but aren’t.

 

[Tri-Tachyon'sClown]

What a wonderful day! I was late on last week's Dice Scum, in which we reviewed Giant Monster Rampage, and learned how to make giant monsters, but not how to make a tabletop game with said monsters.

Giant monster tabletop? Peaked my interest. Despite being a huge fan of them for all of my life I never once thought "huh, I wonder if there are any rpgs where I can to play at a legally distinct Gamera."

That’s a nice way of saying “team douchebag.”

In person sessions have that social climate that is so, so much better than the trend of “online campaigns.” You haven’t lived until buddy’s girl comes home, forgot it was game night and there’s like five drunken tards disputing slave counts. Then listening to the domestic where they think they’re being quiet but aren’t.

Laughing for a solid minute thinking about how that might sound. A bunch of grognards slurring over complex math regarding optimal slave populations. For some reason I'm reminded of the Industrial Rogue story. I've had some fun in online sessions but those are always short lived or devolve into something I'm not at all interested in. Most fun I've had was definitely an in-person session back when I had a good friend circle. We had two groups that couldn't finish their campaigns due to members dropping out so we merged them organically since they were in similar areas at the time. 6 people and every session ended in absolute madness but it was beautiful. We continued for about a year until we collectively agreed it was a good place to stop. It was either Greyhawk or Eberron, fuck I haven't seen any of those guys since then.

 

[Adamska]

Giant Monster Rampage, and learned how to make giant monsters, but not how to make a tabletop game with said monsters.

It's rough as hell, at least the version I have, since it's mostly just the core mechanics and the add-ons are faulty. The way it handles scenarios and minis games is rough.

I don't know if 3rd edition fixed it, though I do know it has a few dozen extra pages.

Tonight, our simian archeologists uncovered the Planet of the Apes RPG. We shall see if primitive man can make a game worthy of an ape.

I honest to god hate the Wild Die mechanic since if it's applied to every roll, you have a 1/6 chance to either amplify the roll or eat shit. Like one of the things can be to force an exceptional success to fail.

Some ways to change it would be to have it either only exist on "critical" rolls, where you need the die to work due to pressure. A new research experiment with a deadline, needing to dome an officer in war, hacking a security system without alarm. That thing.

Other would be to change it into a panic die ala Alien; you can reroll but you have to have the wild die, and 1s can fuck you and sixes reward you.

It's about the only thing I dislike in the book though. It's pretty decent otherwise, art notwithstanding.

 

[Henri Barbusse]

Some ways to change it would be to have it either only exist on "critical" rolls, where you need the die to work due to pressure.

Ars Magica does this and it works very well. Especially since the base die is a d10 instead of a d6 and a botch has to be confirmed (roll more dice and if any one is another 0, the botch happens), so the effective chance is less than 10%.

And there's a bunch of ways other things interact with it (every level of spell mastery reduces the number of botch die by 1 to a minimum of 0, a flaw that makes every roll of 0 automatically a botch for a specific ability, virtue that reduces the number of botch dice on spellcasting by 3 to a minimum of 1, hostile supernatural auras increase the number of botch dice, etc.)

 

[Rapier Ape]

Well my Dragonquest 3e game game is going pretty well. There have been a few deaths. Oddly enough our resident "That Guy" has calmed down his irl and in game sperginess.
Im blown away by the fact that he took the initiative and printed out his own copy of the player's section to research himself.
For clarification this dude is a living embodiment of the Boondocks scene of Uncle Ruckus yelling Read Nigger! Read! When it came to 3.5 years ago.

I've had to branch out the map from the start a lot now and flesh out civilization hubs + wilderness in greater detail. Aka fill in the Hex grid.
On top of that do a lot of creature customization with monsters because the core book is pretty bog standard when it comes to that. I'd compare it to Moldvay BX combined as far as variety goes.
They also got a good idea of just how OP dragons are in the game when they came across a completely decimated keep that had been destroyed by one many years prior. The old locals who were alive at the time avoid it and are pretty PTSD about it still.

 

[Manly_Brony]

I blame World of Warcraft. Blizzard created a great and simple series - the Warcraft strategy games - and ruined it with the mmo version. Even the whole "let's become more than savages" in Warcraft 3 was a nice take, and cool stories could be made about that. Fucking Blizzard.

I was a huge fan of Warcraft 3 and can still quote it but flipped out when I saw Orc warlocks, Undead and Blood Elves in the Horde in WoW so I avoided it like the plague.

I'm not well versed in Warhammer Fantasy, how are the orcs in that setting? The Total War games give me the impression of simple-minded bloodthirsty freaks.

They went from a Middle-Earth inspired humanoid race (1st edition even had Half-Orcs and Warpstone magazine made them playable) to green, genderless, eternally squabbling (unless there are Black Orcs, Überorcs magically bred by evil Chaos Dwarfs around to intimidate them and make them stop), cartoonish barbarian/soccer hooligan stereotypes. They can be anything you want them to be: ooga booga paleolithic tribals (Savage Orcs), green Genovese crossbowmen (Ruglud's Armoured Orcs), Orc pirates, Orc knights (riding Hagranyms which are evil, man-eating horses smarter than them), Orc air forces and Orc charioteers (wild boars or Hagranyms) to name a few possibilities. Nothing is impossible or too ridiculous. There's potential there but I haven't done something really memorable with them yet and I don't think I ever will. Other "orcoid" races also exist like Goblins, Snotlings, Gnoblars and Hobgoblins but the Orcs are the main players among the Greenskins. Blizzard actually ripped off Warhammer although I must point out that Games Workshop "heavily borrowed" from a dozen IPs too.