Fanfiction Horrors

>102,180 hits
>58 kudos

Fucking oof.
Misread. That's 58 bookmarks, not kudos. The kudos is 929, which is 929 too high of course and oh my god how is there so many of these fics Jesus Christ-
1.png

2.png
3.png
4.png
Those can't all be porn-rotted manchildren. Either way, God is not with us. Thank the lord for blocking tags out via skins to not ever come across this kind of shit.
 
Late to the party: A secret Santa was dropped almost a full month after Christmas ended, making this gift in bitter January all the more sour.
secret santa smash.PNG
> A flash of pink can be seen, a perked nipple
He's Latino. That nip slip is gonna be brown.
> He can very distinctly feel that bit of silky fabric around his cock
For a moment I thought that this Santa costume was really high-end, but nope, it's just the silk ribbon he tied around his dick. He must've spent a fortune on it.
secret santa smash 2.PNG
> Head spinning when every bit of blood drains from his mind to his dick
Wow, realism involving erections on well-hung men? That's a first.
> A bride waiting for his bethrothed
If you want me to think this person is a man, you can cut it with the 'bride' shit. Just use groom. He's a man, right? Use the proper pronouns.
> His milky thighs
Ah, there's the white skin obsession I was looking for!
> Imagination that there's a spot on the underwear appearing darker than it should. Damp
Just cut 'damp'. The prior sentence does the job.
secret santa smash 3.PNG
> The words travel straight to Jayce's cock
At this rate, his dick will have more arrivals than JFK international.
> Open your present and show me how good you've been
'Show me your present' would be better, IMO.
> Perched on their bed for him like an alluring siren
Fitting because his dick is like a mast, HEYO
> Nuzzling against the prominent bulge
Any guesses on how big he is?
> His cock bobs in the air, hard and proud, and covered in ribbon. He'd taken care to wrap it well, coming around the balls
Well he deserves a medal just for that. Wrapping silk ribbon around your nutsack - and with patience and finesse! - is a skill not many men have. I'd give him the whole batch of cookies just for that.
secret santa smash 4.PNG
> Elegant curve of his chest and clavicles
He has no curves. He's as androgynous as you can get. He has, as PBM put it, 'xylophone bones'. He doesn't have the curves of Rhona Mitra, so stop writing him as if he has them.
secret santa smash 5.PNG
> Gradually revealing the length of his dick underneath
We knew it was big when he bought out the Michael's ribbon. You don't need to hammer it home.
secret santa smash 6.PNG
> A space where he's content. Safe
Always about safety with these people. I will say that I thought this was going to be worse and involve Spicy Santa taking a bite out of his 'milky thighs' like they're sugar cookies.
secret santa smash 7.PNG
> Or as much as a man can preen with a dick down his throat, anyway
OK, this made me laugh. PBM always leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth (no pun intended) so reading some goofy shit takes me out of my element for a bit.
secret santa smash 8.PNG
> His pale legs
We know he's white, thanks.
> Every mewl of pleasure, every gasp transforming into sets of pleasurable vibrations
'This pleasure led to pleasure' ahh sentence.
secret santa smash 9.PNG
> Jayce's dick would pop right back to life if there wasn't such a thing as a refractory period
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat the refractory period is actually mentioned and used? He's not going three rounds of ejaculation and still remaining hard? Amazin'!
secret santa smash 10.PNG
> Sweet, milk-like tinge
> Fragile skin of his neck
Of course our milky white swan-necked pale siren has to smell like milk. 1488 descriptions and this one is the best.
man milk gift.PNG
> Every bone, every curve
He doesn't have curves. You will be following the curves of his bones if that's what you meant.
> Framed by silvery scars beneath the curve of his pecs
First, we had a description of his chest being 'curved', which almost suggested he still had breasts. Now he's flat because he had the breast tissue removed. This gets brought up again when Santa here talks about propagating more elves for his workshop.
man milk gift 2.PNG
> He thumbs over that nipple, watching as Viktor immediately jolts
So he still has feeling in them. Interesting.
> Maybe I can get my milk from here
> As if intent on coaxing the milk to flow freely there
He cannot produce milk. The milk ducts would have been removed with the breast tissue.
man milk gift 3.PNG
> It's nice that Viktor retained most of his chest sensitivity after his operation
I'll say. The Piltover version of Dr. Gallagher didn't work on him, but the zippertit scars are always visible. It's to signal that they are part of the in-group and 'authentic'.
> His pale skin
We know he's white, thanks.
> When it's full of milk here, waiting for our children in the nursery
He got his breasts removed because they gave him gender dysphoria, but when faced with the option of pregnancy, suddenly that doesn't trigger it and he is instead happy to use the female body he was born with. He won't be able to breastfeed them or take his precious T. It's the classic question of why this group bothers to be men when they all desire to get pregnant, anyways.
man milk gift 4.PNG
> Letting every drop settle in, and when Viktor whines and begs and pleads for Jayce to keep it all in him too, make him grow round with their children
I assume he is on T or on birth control; if he isn't, he just got the tit chop and everything else works normally as you can see by the rivers of ejaculate Viktor produces.
> It should be - and it is - and undoubtedly fucking cheesy line, like a bad porno
Nice lampshading. Still not as bad as 'getting into buttsex heaven'.
> Almost bending the other man in half
Disability doesn't exist when you're about to get your pussy ate.
> The swollen lips and clit well defined, with glistening rivulets between the crease of his thighs and groin
Glad to see that T is working overtime, and in the opposite direction.
> He can take a leaf out of Viktor's book from earlier and just -
What? Keep an outline of his pussy in your journal? Is that it?
man milk gift 5.PNG
> Drunk off of the taste and smell of him, the salt and honeyed tang that he can never get enough of
So his pussy tastes like salty pork. OK.
> His cunt flutters
But does it flutter shyly?
> Pussy quivering with a fresh pulse of slick
If this was the case, women would never need to complain about the orgasm gap ever again. Do you wish you could drench your underwear like that?
> There's a thin trail of pink silicone protruding from his cunt
He should have noticed it when he was eying how his underwear clung to his cunt. He could see its entire shape and yet didn't notice the dildo? OK. BTW he only just now can smell the strawberry lube.
man milk gift 6.PNG
> Wrought with vines of insecurity, the fear that he could lose what he has when he lets himself be free
Such as? You're getting insecure over...what? Having manly vaginal sex? Hearing Santa here talk about sucking your milk and nursing your children? You're insecure over some vague thought but not that?
man milk gift 7.PNG
> Viktor nods stiffly as his eyes slide shut
If PBM was writing this she'd already have Jayce inside fucking one hole or another while going full Walker on his skin.
> Slick is beginning to pool from his entrance, dripping sluggishly down his crack
What do you mean 'beginning'? You already wrote his underwear was sticking to his vulva and that he was already leaving behind 'sticky trails'. He also used lube to stick that toy in. How much of that is from his vag and how much is from the strawberry lube he just used?
man milk gift 8.PNG
> The tip of the third and last ball emerges, moving out
All that and Jayce still couldn't tell he had it inside him despite Viktor's underwear showing off his vulva.
man milk gift 9.PNG
> Like his cunt is made for Jayce and Jayce's use only
Almost as if you have complementary genitalia and are engaging in monogamous sex as per your marriage vows.
> A beautiful trail of crimson framing Viktor's face like rose petals
It always looks best on white skin, doesn't it?
man milk gift 10.PNG
> Sometimes Jayce wishes he could frame moments like these and preserve them forever
Have you thought about using a leaf?
> Wet come gushing forth and soaking where they are joined
It must smell like a strawberry farm in there.
> Want you to breed me
Reminder this guy randomly had a moment of self-doubt - on what, it was never explained - but the idea of getting pregnant and nursing infants with non-existent breast tissue is very affirming and freeing. Make it make sense.
naughty list.PNG
> Cockhead pushed up against the spongy end of Viktor's channel
You mean his cervix?
> Obscene squelch
Cliché.

They have a talk afterwards on how they should do that more often, and how Jayce is happy that they were able to explore their boundaries. He has questions about the toy, though, but rolls with it. They say that they love each other and fall asleep. Fin.

All in all, not too bad. Not on the level of PBM. Goofy in some places, but the worst part was the whole breastfeeding/pregnancy thing. It isn't needed and doesn't make much sense as he would have lost a majority of the breast tissue and the milk ducts with the zippertit surgery. The random bits of insecurity threw me off, too. But hey, the Spicy Latino isn't a rapist and was respect for once, so there's that at least.

That Bridgerton AU has had two updates.
stupid courtship.PNG
> Though still somewhat crude and stupid in the art of courtship
Nice job making the Wasian look retarded, Lady Masemar. Really trying to start your crusade against the Hornsent, aren't you?
> The princess's personal guard
You might remember that, in Chapter 1, personal guards weren't allowed for the 'Princes of Zaun' because it made Topsiders uncomfortable. Now that's been retconned and they are allowed guards - and we have also moved back to 'Prince' and 'Princess' rather than the former title for all Zaunite family members.
stupid courtship 2.PNG
> A face that would cause wars if these were ancient times
He's just like Helen of Troy, sinking those ships with a smile and copious amounts of pussy slick.
> Lady Masemar apparently didn't miss a thing
She apparently missed the fact that they aren't allowed bodyguards and yet suddenly are allowed bodyguards and that Jayce and Viktor's little outing wasn't exactly secret. Jayce is the most eligible bachelor and he was just running around with a flower in his pocket. It's not hard to put two and two together.
stupid courtship 3.PNG
> Powder had joined them along with her personal guard, Ekko
I like how the Token Black is relegated to bellhop status, lmao
> Ekko offered to teach her to paint
How come she doesn't know how to do that, already? She's always been creative. What kind of 'courtly' things do they teach in Zaun, anyways? How to play the harmonica?
stupid courtship 4.PNG
> Rocking back and forth on the seat as if she were on a swing
The mental image I got of this makes me laugh. I know what's she doing: she's rocking on the chair's legs, but making it seem as if she's on a swing makes me think it's attached to the ceiling.
> It was due to the Piltovan's fear that they would blow them up at any moment
Wow, we're really laying it on thick with the Israel-Palestine reference, aren't we? Next you'll tell me that they don't mix their blood with that of Amalek.
> Jockingly
*Jokingly
> Did not care about social rules
Lady Masemar said she was 'stupid' in the art of courtship, which is really a nice way to say that she's too mean and lesbian for men. This society doesn't tolerate lesbianism for some reason, but does tolerate male homosexuality (to a point). Something to think about.
stupid courtship 5.PNG
> The councilman had the unpleasant habit of picking up servants to satisfy himself
Of course the Aryan has a thing for maids. Gotta make him the token baddie.
stupid courtship 6.PNG
> Does my fashion taste really that bad?
Oof, that ESL is coming right on through. "IS my fashion taste really that bad?"
> It's
*Its
> Lord Salo and Lord Hoskel would want to annex Zaun to Piltover, calling it peaceful unification for progress
Are they going to built a beach resort with a single highway cutting through it, by any chance?
> Do what is necessary to protect Zaun, your kingdom
AKA 'use that white pussy and slay some Viscount dick'.
stupid courtship 7.PNG
> With steel and iron foundations covered with ornaments to hide the dirt on the metal
You know that you can polish that metal, right? Why didn't they just clean it?
stupid courtship 8.PNG
> Lady Shoola was the one Viktor liked best. Not only because she herself was a foreigner
Shoola is native to Piltover. She's taking the role of Mel, who IS a foreigner, down to her being a patron of the arts. The opera house they're going to was built by Mel Medarda's money. We're just erasing her for the sake of the plot, because fuck that bitch.
> Used to run the city's banks before just collecting money from their employees
Oh so he's our resident Jew.
stupid courtship 9.PNG
> Do not like opera
*Does not like opera
> His pale skin
We know he's white, thanks.
> He wondered where else on his body he might find such marks
I could have sworn this was written in the first chapter.
stupid courtship 10.PNG
viscount vanity.PNG
> Suppressing the nervous feeling that ran through him when he felt the strong muscle under the jacket
Ohhh boy that pussy is already getting wet and it's only the second chapter.
> And his height, God, before having him so close, he hadn't been aware of how tall he was
What, is Viktor 5'0 or something? Our classic uwu smol boi? Becuase Jayce is only six inches taller than Viktor.
> As if the walls of the theater recognized that sometimes the most important prelude is the footsteps of two people who have not yet decided whether they are at war or courtship
1. It's the second fucking chapter. They haven't even had time to establish said courtship. 2. I'd rather think the 'most important prelude' isn't the sound of footsteps echoing throughout the theater when everyone else is dead silent. Viktor's cane is like the grandfather clock in OG RE1; that's all you can hear echoing throughout the room.
> Elegant without being ostentatious
There's that word, again. I'd think a fancy charcuterie board and liquor counts as ostentatious.
viscount vanity 2.PNG
> The prince's gaze seem dazzled, like the stars before sunrise when the night was darker and allow them to shine with freedom
This doesn't make sense, because stars aren't the brightest at dusk. It's just easier to see them because of the contrast. Stars retain the same brightness.
> I believe they can be modified to achieve advances
Advances in what? Elaborate.
viscount vanity 3.PNG
> He imagined the viscount studying precious stones and metals. Of course he was an intelligent man
Did you think he was retarded, or something?
> I've heard it can be used to alter people's physical appearance and could even energize an entire village
> The material suggested is gold
I mean, yeah, at high enough temperatures gold CAN alter your appearance...just ask Viserys Targaryen.
viscount vanity 4.PNG
> just a breath of that metal dust was enough for my mother to survive
You are not supposed to inhale platinum dust. Platinum dust has artistic and industrial uses, but huffing it leads to significant health problems. Someone did not do their research - besides, didn't the mage save him and his mother?
> Like a promise disguised as a comment on the scenery
The sentences works fine if you ended it at 'warm and precise'. This just makes little sense. 'Warm and precise as a promise' also works well.
> Cercany
??? Did you mean 'ceremony'?
viscount vanity 5.PNG
> Yes, that was why he had run out of the box, not because Jayce's proximity made him feel like he was upside down
D'awwww look at that, he's already getting hot'n'bothered?
> It was the viscount finding him in a closet
That's one way to inject the 'coming out of the closet' metaphor, eh?
viscount vanity 6.PNG
> Not because of the pain, because of the touch; the closeness
Hot under the collar, are we?
viscount vanity 7.PNG
> His eyes shining and his face serene
"Serene" is not the word I'd use for someone in pain.
> It seems your words are stuck in your throat
I can think of something else that's gonna get stuck HEYO
viscount vanity 8.PNG
> Denied with his head
You mean he shook his head?
viscount vanity 9.PNG
> I'd like to know more about your platinum theory
Hopefully you aren't huffing it like retards. What does this have to do with magic? Nothing in your shared conversations mentioned magic at all.
viscount vanity 10.PNG
> He could still feel his firm, warm touch on him
Let me guess. He's gonna start masturbating.
female intuition.PNG
> He couldn't deny that Jayce was handsome
Wait until you find out what he's hiding in his pants.
> How did you know that? Female intuition?
You are BOTH female, you retard. I doubt the author is ever going to address the intrinsic problems of treating trans men as men while discouraging open lesbianism.
female intuition 2.PNG
> Lady Masemar
> The Piltovans fear what she writes
Because she's going to impale them with her words in the name of the Golden Order.
female intuition 3.PNG
> Back in Zaun, many men were interested in him when they saw his portraits, but when he was seen in public, with a cane and brace, they seemed to loose interest
Do they still know he has a pussy? Free and easy pussy is the quickest way to change a man's mind on whether cripples are out of his dating pool.
female intuition 4.PNG
> Used to run away and paint in the streets
I seem to recall you saying in this very chapter that Ekko offered Jinx how to paint. Now she already knows because they did it as kids? You can't even remain consistent with your own fucking worldbuilding in the same chapter!
female intuition 5.PNG
> They want to annex Zaun to Piltover but we will not give in
Giving some real Greenland vibes. Have you considered placards saying you aren't for sale?
female intuition 6.PNG
I love how he's already in love in the second chapter. Where's the 'can love bloom, even on a battlefield' speech when you need it?
> Remember your duty to your nation
When that pussy wants to get stuffed, things like nationalism and borders no longer matter. When you start popping out kids in the name of unification, that's another matter. I assume that is exactly what will happen here.
dance if we want to.PNG
> Our diamond seems to have been put on display, with a parade of gentlemen trying to get his attention
Gay marriage (provided one has a pussy) is allowed but open lesbianism causes a 'scandal'. OK.
> No one can get the prince to dance with them
Because he can't? He has a bum leg?
dance if we want to 2.PNG
Just imagine Salo as Jared Kushner in this instance: he's not talking about conquest, he's talking about capital. Think of the prime real estate here. Viktor is also in the room with his sisters and he finds out that the annexation requires Piltover's army free access to their territory and oh-so-conveniently has a map with Zaunite homes being demolished in favour of 'trade routes'. I told you this was copying the Israel-Palestine conflict to a T. Violet states that Zaun will not be annexed, technological advancement be damned, even when Piltover uses Zaunite minerals to get said technology in the first place. The debate sputters out with Cassandra asking where King Heimerdinger is, Powder responds that he caught a cold because the AC was broken. I'm not joking.

Viktor says that Zaun will not be a 'bargaining chip for an educated empire', an admission that his people are uneducated swine, and Vi stresses that there will be no boots on the ground. They want to be recognized as a sovereign state; they want a two-state solution, if you will. Vi then says that yes, the Zaunites DO know how to build (which makes one wonder why the 'educated empire' comment was used), and Powder chimes in that the proposals will sound nicer if they didn't carry a flavour of colonialism with it.

After the meeting, Viktor heads off to see Jayce in his lab. Vi and Powder tease him about it and Powder remarks that he'll come back with 'messy hair and an intellectual excuse'. He leaves for Talis' house. It's located outside of the city with cobblestone pavement and a garden, with well-tended vines and servants. Said servant offers him lemon cookies with icing, which sounds pretty good if you ask me. He strolls the house a bit and wonders why there are 'no guards or servants about' - despite JUST having a servant offer him food - and hears him working in his forge down the hall. He then meets Ximena who is baking the cookies. We also learn that Jayce does, in fact, have servants and let them have the day off to attend an 'invention fair'. Upon meeting Ximena, he wonders 'what it would be like to have a mother' suggesting that gay dads cannot erase the internal yearning for a maternal figure (very telling). She tells Viktor a bit about Jayce's childhood and how he blew up the kitchen oven at 10 and said he'd change the world at 12. Hopefully it doesn't involve huffing more platinum dust.

Viktor heads off to the forge and sees Jayce all sweaty, muscly and hot and gets red in the face because of course he does. Jayce asks who is coming up from behind and clears his throat. We find out that Jayce is not working with platinum but elemental stones - the things that will actually change the world - and that Lady Masemar is spying on them. Allegedly. She really must be determined to hunt down the Hornsent.

There's some back and forth between them about how Viktor is early and how Jayce is surprised that he came at all. Viktor notes that he hasn't been attending balls or social events and has been wondering where he is. Jayce then shows him what he's been up to.
dance if we want to 3.PNG
> My research is based on the conduction and conversion of energy through elemental gems
She says, while insisting that there is no magic in this world. We don't have 'elemental gems' in our universe.
> This tube can contain it for a while when the help of a rechargeable battery
They have batteries in a world that still relies on horse-drawn carriages. Logic.
dance if we want to 4.PNG
> Her half is full of mechanical devices and automaton prototypes
Stealing from Viktor's field, I see. He was the one interested in automatons and mechanics.
dance if we want to 5.PNG
> Tells him to ignore what he said because magic does not exist
> Falls in love with Viktor because of some magical dream and works with gems that have elemental properties to them
Oh but magic doesn't exist, my ass. You have fucking batteries but no notion of internal combustion? Do you even have centralized heating?
dance if we want to 6.PNG
They're using platinum to open physical portals when platinum itself cannot do that. Platinum isn't even all that great a conductor of electricity - silver is the best, copper is cheap and plentiful - but we can invoke the Lorentz transformations with it. OK.
> Which was much too big for him
His hands are just so tiny, uwu.
dance if we want to 7.PNG
> His hands, firm but careful, were around his waist
Which is so small his thumbs met in the middle, right?
> And his face was just inches from his
Whoa nelly 🥵 Getting hot in here
> Viktor knew he wouldn't resist, and that scared him
I told you: things like nationalism, patriotism and loyalty to your people are thrown aside when that pussy wants some dick. You ready to get a 12 inch hammer slammed up there? He needs your rare earth materials.
dance if we want to 8.PNG
> What would have happened if that platinum had been more aggressive?
It's not the platinum ITSELF that's acting that way. It's the elemental gems it's reacting WITH. Platinum is remarkably STABLE and DURABLE. You'd think this author was writing about alkali metals.
dance if we want to 9.PNG
> Jonny
His name is Jhonny, actually.
> Two more maids arrived and began cleaning up the mess
I'm glad they can just be summoned like NPCs despite Ximena just saying the house was a mess because most of the servants had the day off. 200 IQ details right here.

They have dinner. More effort is place on how good the food looks, particularly the chocolate bar. Salads, soups, and cuts of rare meat are offered with special sauces, along with lemon water. Ximena asks Viktor if he misses Zaun. He says he does, and Ximena talks about her youth and how she grew up in a town of dust and cows with an aunt who wanted her to 'marry half the world'. Viktor asks if the aunt succeeded, which is a dumb question to ask because no shit she did not; she absconded with a viscount and went to Piltover if that giant-ass portrait in the foyer was anything to go by.

After dinner, Viktor goes to see Jayce's telescope. He says that when he was a child he thought they were 'holes' in the sky where the gods spied on them. He preferred looking at them over the war, and says that Viktor's kingdom deserves better. Viktor says that he cannot fail and return to his kingdom without a 'signed fair agreement', and then Jayce breaks the news to him: each Councilor interprets the King's law in their own way. This confuses Viktor because, despite being the 'son' of royalty, he has no idea how politics work (and despite Silco's own warnings). He states that King Heimerdinger is a mere figurehead while the Councilors are the ones who are the actual movers and shakers.

In an exposition dump, Viktor talks about how he was a child during the Day of Ash - riots at the 'Unity Bridge' - and how he was given a gun for self-protection. He was hiding near a carriage when it went down and saw another kid mortally wounded about to be executed by an Enforcer. Viktor shot said Enforcer and never held a gun again. Jayce also casually trauma dumps by saying his father was also killed that day because 'enforcers or Zaunites fire him' (she means, 'fired AT him) because he was mistaken for an enemy. It's a nice way for these two to trauma-bond and start face-fucking, yeah?

Viktor can't believe a Piltovan would ever apologize for the crimes their kingdom committed. Love really CAN bloom on a battlefield and can end segregation - and if this sounds like your classic 'white person falls in love with their slave' or 'Jewish woman falls in love with Nazi officer' it does. It's the same trope. Viktor then says he is 'sorry for the loose' of Jayce's father, and they sit in the garden full of hyacinths, gardenias and lavenders to think about their shared trauma. Viktor gets cold and Jayce gives him the signature blue blanket. Viktor calls him a gentleman and remarks that that is why he has so many admirers. Jayce demurrs and says that if only Viktor could see himself, he really IS the Diamond of the season.

Before Viktor leaves, Jayce gives him a bouquet of pink tulips (very masc) and Viktor says that the thing that can stabilize the elemental gems is star opal. Opals are poor ionic conductors but can be used for thermal conductivity - when they are synthetic. Hell, for those 'rechargeable batteries' he's talking about you need LITHIUM IONS. This author has not done any research on the properties of precious stones and just thinks if they look pretty they can harness Lorentz Force Transformations. You are looking at the wrong end of the Periodic Table, retard. You can use opals for FILTRATION SYSTEMS but not for OPENING PORTALS. Guess what opals are actually used for: FERTILIZER AS THEY IMPROVE WATER RETENTION. Google is right fucking there. Use it.

Jayce then asks if they are partners, and Viktor only agrees if Jayce will attend balls and other social events. He agrees, and now they are partners. He later states he couldn't attend said social events because he was thinking about Viktor too much. Jayce watches Viktor leave and gets the feeling that he's falling in love. Someone get me a tissue.

Later, Viktor makes it a common occasion to go to Jayce's house (which Lady Masemar the Impaler will surely note) and Ximena tells him all of Jayce's childhood stories, including one where he made a drawing of a little boy in a corset (weird). Jhonny - looks like that's the proper spelling - is now the chaperone and he is guarding them against any spilling of tea, including the tidbit that Jayce loves 'men in corsets'.

After he goes home, Vi and Powder remark that the pink lilies Jayce gave him mean 'I only have eyes for you' in the language of flowers.
language of flowers.PNG
> Tell us the truth. Is Viscount Talis courting you?
Of course not, he says, while blushing like a virgin.
> I'm not here to get married
But you will get fingered and fucked until you squirt, though.
> And why not an improvement for you?
*And why is that not an improvement
language of flowers 2.PNG
> Having Jayce in front of him made him feel strange
> As if a dormant part of him awakened with his voice
Uh oh, that pussy is QUIVERING and fluttering SHYLY
> The star opal and platinum sphere
If you really want to touch on a sci-fi element, use francium. Incredibly radioactive, short half-life of 22 minutes, converts into radium and radon. There's your magic. Opal and platinum are not going to serve as the main engines of internal combustion engines; they will be some of the materials used. I don't think this person has done any research on this and it shows.

They go for tea, and Vi asks what Cait's favourite flowers are. The chapter ends. Lady Masemar better not be huffing that platinum dust as she dishes out the tea for Chapter 4.

This author saw last year's top AO3 ships, saw that 'half of them were straight' and decided to write it by writing workaround straight omegaverse - sorta. It's a misleading tag. This was the author's note.
early grave.PNG
One wonders what list she was looking at as all the top ships are M/M. Only one ship - CaitVi - is F/F that has made it into the top ten. She wants JKR to go into an 'early grave' and yet the HP fandom cranks out nearly 20k fics per month. I'd dare say she's immortal. In any case, here is her 'totally gay' work that vasectomies, shitfaced sex and wearing tight-fitting black jeans before you get your back blown out. Lines for this fic include:
- Will you be mommy for me one more time?
- He needs a moment to not shoot his load at the sensation of his hot and wet pussy squeezing him.
- But I’ll be even better when you fold me in half, drive your fat dick inside of me and make us come so hard
- Yesss… Just like that, fuck my womb, daddy… Ngh… Breed me full!
- Want us to come together, so you can feel my pussy milking your shooting cock.

omegaverse rut.PNG
> It took only 1 word (in word: one)
We know what the word and number 1 mean, you feckless retard.
> It's the end of September, still late summer, still quite hot
Technically you'd be in early autumn. If it still feels like summer, you're living in a nice area. The South, maybe?
> Jack is too little to fully comprehend what he's watching
> Knows what octopuses and dolphins are
I guess he never inherited either of his parents' genius. Also, Jack is the most basic white name ever. You couldn't even pick Jorge? Loser.

They live in a house not far from Ximena - who lives five houses down in the suburbs - and she had treated Viktor as her own son before he got pregnant and gave her her first grandchild (such a manly thing to do). Jayce and Viktor start getting heated by pretending to have an affair before Sky tells them to behave. Neither take this advice and still flirt with each other with Viktor slyly fluttering his eyes because he can't open a wine bottle - dainty hands, and all that - and that his tight black jeans are inappropriate for a formal outing. Author also confuses Noxus for 'Nexus', as if we stole wine from The Matrix. Jayce has to go to a public outing to promote his company, and Viktor, who's been attached to him at the hip since they met in college, suggests that he 'doesn't have to go'. They waste time talking to Sky who has a crush on her PhD student and we learn a little bit about Jayce's company. He works at some nameless company where he started off at the bottom but his smithing skills brought him to the top until he became head of the company. What the company deals in or what they do is never explicitly said.

Jack, also nicknamed JJ, has the power of speech and asks Jayce when he is leaving. He doesn't know what the word 'sleepover' is (that's OK, he doesn't know what a dolphin is either, which puts him on the same level as adult Jayce who didn't know what a crab was in one fic) but knows what star gazing is. Jayce walks to the front door dramatically with Viktor, the former saying the Uber will be there in five minutes, before Viktor tells him that 'mommy will wait for daddy to come back'. This short circuits his brain and he calls him a 'fucking tease' but has to go to the function. We get a flashback to when they wanted to become parents.
omegaverse rut 2.PNG
> They were atrocious
I think you mean 'amorous'. 'Atrocious' makes me think they committed war crimes.
> They already always fucked like they were running out of time
*Always fucked like they were running out of time
> Stopped taking his hormones they were scared he would suffer from all the side effects
Oh? I've been told there are no side effects. Testosterone is perfectly fine for the female body to take at large quantities and does not affect vaginal pH or its biome whatsoever. Why stop taking it if it's no big deal?
> Endocrinologist, gynecologist, urologist
Why the urologist when 9/10 they serve men? In any case, your gyno is going to tell you your ovaries are fried. That's in the real world; in omegaverse, testosterone has no effect on all that slick and scent blocking. It's just like a fentanyl patch for pain.
> What really did it was a girl's night
> The trans man and trans woman is included
One of these things is not like the other. Why do you, a True and Honest Man, need a 'girl's night out' to get pregnant?
> For once Viktor wasn't complaining about the manhandling
When has he ever?
omegaverse rut 3.PNG
> They didn't fucked
There's that ESL we all know and love.
> They're going to be mommy and daddy
Nothing says heterosexuality like💕MONOGAMY and💞NUCLEAR💕FAMILIES💞
> He can't be thinking about his flirty, dirty minded husband
You mean your wife? You can't have a language slip like 'mommy' and still insist on using the word 'husband'.

Jayce endures the evening that includes listening to Dmitri's CrossFit journey and Marcus (the Asian cop) plying him with alcohol. Everybody is shitfaced and conversations range from dog behaviours to getting more shitfaced. He gets text messages that Jack went to Ximena's house and that Sky had left, but almost forgets about it because he's so damn drunk.
shitfaced sex.PNG
> After a while wet noise kept getting louder and squelching was getting rhythmically
*After a while the wet noises kept getting louder and the squelching more rhythmically. Either he's playing with himself or playing with an octopus.
> He was starting to get half-hard in the middle of the street
> He was fully hard now
Wow, and it only took 30 seconds while standing outside in a smoking section. Amazing!
shitfaced sex 2.PNG
> Maybe he's a bit drunk, he doesn't remember how many cocktails he got to be exact
I recall him being shitfaced to the point he almost forgot Viktor texted him. He was also so shitfaced he forgot to pay the taxi driver - you pay AFTER you return home - and probably smells like it, too. He should've taken that shower.
> Four empty wine bottles
Looks like he's not the only one shitfaced. FOUR wine bottles? Damn.
shitfaced sex 3.PNG
> They now only drink occasionally, small amounts
> Just wrote the one coming back from a work event utterly shitfaced and the other downing FOUR BOTTLES OF WINE
Oh yeah it's just an 'occasional' thing.
> This is not exactly the vision of the god-of-sex by everybody's definition
Nothing in the front, nothing in the back, with xylophone bones and sickly skin? Thanks for admitting it, bro.
> He can already feel the rest of the blood from his body going straight south
BTW he had that boner when he went into that taxi and kept it when he went inside the room. Unless he suddenly lost his arousal, he's been hard the entire time. The poor taxi driver had to drive away without being paid AND saw that Hispanic Hog in those tight black pants. Oof.
shitfaced sex 4.PNG
> Finger slowly caressing the horizontal silver scar
Interesting how he had to have a C-section. Did the baby have too big of a head?
> He just can't physically wait another second longer not to eat that pussy
This is a real line. White pussy so good it makes you go sober.
> There's a small cock peaking out
*Peeking out. Wanna guess how big Jayce is compared to him?
> He hums thrilled
'He trilled' will work just as well.
> Murmurs to the flesh and his tongue is on that little dick again
And it's smaller than his pinky nail, lmao
> Down on the outer lips in the direction of the hole
Mm yes, very sexy to refer to the vagina as a 'hole'. Makes he think you're cleaning out a garden hose vs fingering your shitfaced partner.
> He fucks the hole with his muscle, tasting and slurping every drop of that juice
Is he eating out pussy, or is he aggressively tonguing a Capri Sun?
shitfaced sex 5.PNG
> Woke each other with pleasure
*Woke each other with sex
> Watch how his partner slides into the hole
He really is going to town on that Capri Sun.
> Licks on the dick
Very sexy. That sex dialogue is also very chef's kiss.
shitfaced sex 6.PNG
> He puts third finger inside
*He puts a third finger inside
> But there was no reception
At a modern bar? That has an outside smoking section? Where the fuck were you, Heisenberg's RV?
> So you let me fuck you senseless?
Pretty sure the wine did that first.
shitfaced sex 7.PNG
> What if I want to see you swollen with my seed, and then with my child?
Same difference. You're not a bull; you're not going to produce gallons of semen.
> Will you be mommy for me one more time?
This is a real line.
> He exhales it ends with a small sob
My brain went shitfaced trying to imagine that.
> They're too horny for any of that, too lost in the pleasure of finally being together. Their teeth are clacking, tongues twisting and fighting for dominance
Not the 'tongues fighting for dominance' cliché!
> He's here with a porpoise
PURPOSE. The word is PURPOSE. When the fuck did he get a PORPOISE?
shitfaced sex 8.PNG
This sex dialogue is going to give me an aneurysm.
> He needs a moment to not shoot his load at the sensation of Viktor's hot and wet pussy squeezing him
> His pussy squeezing him with every shake
So glad that his pussy is so good it squeezed him twice.
shitfaced sex 9.PNG
> Pale column of a neck
There's that beautiful swan-neck we all know and love.
> It'll be even better when you fold me in half, drive your fat dick inside me and make us come so hard
This is a real line.
> Jayce is on the edge of an aneurysm
Me too.
> His cock is heavy with blood, no surprise he can't think straight
What happens if he gets an aneurysm down there? Would you see it pop in a dick vein?
> Viktor's pussy gazes upon him
I like the implications that his vagina has gained sentience and is judging his performance like it's SHODAN. Yeah you better fill her with your heavy code, Hacker.
shitfaced sex 10.PNG
> Just like that, fuck my womb, daddy, Ngh, breed me full
He cannot fuck your womb because the cervix is not going to open. Seminal volume is not a guarantee of conception, either; it's the quality of the sperm.
> Fucking him so brimful with cum that it would automatically take
That's for his Judgemental Vagina that Gazes Upon Him to decide.
> Thank God Viktor is so gloriously flexible
Yeah it's almost as if he isn't disabled and his femoral anteversion doesn't extend to his hips. They always write him bending in half like a pretzel as if it's just his leg that's fucked up.
> Want us to come together, so you can feel my pussy milking your shooting cock
This is a real line.
> Like on a que
*On queue
baby trapping.PNG
> His pussy starts pulsating
It sure is a judgy bitch.
> So it wasn't just a sexy-kinky bed talk
I'm amazed they were talking in full sentences due to how shit-faced they are. Horniness really does clear up the mind in mysterious ways, eh?
> Looks down at the vixen
A vixen is a FEMALE fox, btw.
baby trapping 2.PNG
So he's going to hold the semen in with his left hand the entire night like he's plugging in icing in a sticky bun? He's drunk as fuck; he's going to move his hand away as soon as he falls asleep and probably rub his nose with it or some shit. It'll be a nice replacement for smelling salts.

As for this baby trapping, it ain't happening. Turns out hosting Christmas parties with a toddler is more daunting than one expected and we aren't getting the four kids and a cottage. Viktor hands Jayce a vasectomy appointment card and Jayce predictably gets mad - how dare one regulate male sexuality?! - before finding out that Viktor is preggers again. His rage vanishes and he is overcome with joy. They're gonna be a mommy and daddy and isn't that the most homosexual thing ever? Take THAT, JKR, and your giant fandom! We're owning the TERF bitch with monogamy, the nuclear family, and the male-female reproductive dynamic.

Misread. That's 58 bookmarks, not kudos. The kudos is 929, which is 929 too high of course and oh my god how is there so many of these fics Jesus Christ-
Kpop has a very large, engaged fandom and BTS has the largest one. Their stans are notorious for doxxing people at the drop of a hat. They are THE definition of 'stalker fan', so it doesn't surprise me to see some of them are into scat. BTS also has the largest amount of omegaverse fics and is largely written by white women who don't even know how Korean culture works to the point actual Koreans have to tell them to do their research.
 
BTS also has the largest amount of omegaverse fics and is largely written by white women who don't even know how Korean culture works to the point actual Koreans have to tell them to do their research.
Aw, remember "britpicking" back in the day? Authors were apologizing apologising profusely in their notes for not having a real live British person read over their Sherlock fanfiction before it was posted.
 
This is the author's first fic. She goes by the same name on Twitter and she has decided to dip her toes in fanfic by writing about pedophilic rape. Lines for this fic include:
- he's already raped the kid once, doing it again isn't gonna put him in any worse of a position than he's already in.

The author is a proud shotacon and 26-year-old they/he. Pooners and shotacon go together like flies to shit.
rape that boy.PNG
rape that boy 2.PNG
Cute. You're still a pedophile and I think you should die.
froot loops.PNG
> Self indulgent
And the first thing that comes to mind is underage anal rape. Good for you, 'ViktorsTornHole', I can't imagine what you post about on your downtime! Least we got adequate product placement and an allegory for what's about to happen!
froot loops 2.PNG
> His girls would be all alone
I love how she drums him up as this paternal character who's so protective of his daughters, but the minute he sees a tied up child his first instinct is to rape them - and then 'correctly' gender them. We can't call a 'person with two holes' a female because that's mean. Anal rape, though? We can do that.
> I don't have my phone on me even if there was
Why don't you have your phone with you? Nearly everyone who goes outside takes their phone with them. He went for a jog and is going to head to his daughters' school; why the fuck wouldn't he take it?
> His holes are red and swollen, clenching on nothing
And our resident Latino rapist goes, 'Oh yeah, it's free real estate'.
froot loops 3.PNG
> The boy's small whimpers and the sight before him have his cock slowly stirring to life in his shorts
Nothing like tearing down stereotypes by making the brown man the resident pedophile rapist. He wouldn't be illegal, would he?
> It's almost identical to the 'stuck porn' he finds himself watching when fantasizing about an innocent woman getting stuck
He's a man with two daughters who happens to be addicted to porn and the FIRST THING he thinks about is a genre where women - note she ONLY mentions women - get fucked from behind. She's so busy taking care to use the proper pronouns that she outs the child as the female they are.
> Swollen holes that are probably torn and bleeding
Instead of helping the child, he can't help but look at that 'cute little cock' and that a sixth dick inside wouldn't hurt a damn thing. Just self-indulgent porn, swear.
> Can hear them squelching as he struggles
From what? The former rapists used condoms. Or am I to think he just got 'so wet' from the repeated rapes that that's the cause?
froot loops 4.PNG
> With how much his asshole is gaping Jayce can't find it in himself to feel bad
Rapist mentality right there. Shoot him.
> He's big, yeah, but he doesn't have to worry about working Viktor open
No, he can just kill the damn kid via internal bleeding.
> He spits on the kid's hole and pushes himself in. He's tight despite being so well-fucked
You just wrote that he was gaping. I guess he snapped to attention from the fear of being raped again, eh?
> I'm gonna use you
Me when I see number for ICE and need to make a phone call
> His pleas to stop melting into a steady 'ah ah ah'
The author wants us to think this child is enjoying being anally raped for the sixth time. It sure doesn't sound like it.
froot loops 5.PNG
> Your little cock here is so cute. I don't think I'm done with it yet
Me when I get out the garden shears to spay and neuter an errant Mexican:
> Jayce starts fucking him brutally, chasing his own orgasm
> Rutting into the kid's ass as he cums
Reminder this man has two daughters and just casually anally raped a female child in the woods. What does he do next, you ask? Free the child? Take him to a hospital?

Nope. He takes him home to rape him again.
froot loops 6.PNG
> Watching as the kid's ass gapes and clenches. It's gaping much more than before. He can't help but feel a twinge of pride knowing that he was bigger than the other guys
That affects him more than the fact that, you know, he sodomized a child. But it's OK because he's a 'hot dad' and therefore it's sexy to read about the act.
> He's already raped the kid once, doing it again isn't gonna put him in any worse of a position than he's already in
Spoken like a true shotacon. Face the wall now.

MistressofVos, another pedophile orbiter, has made it her mission to be in the top 100 of omegaverse authors, not realizing that the characters she's writing for are already in the top 20. The lines for this fic include:
- his omega brain whispering that if this man’s hands are an indicator, then he must have a marvelous thick cock under those formal black pants.
- ‘Please, alpha, breed me! Fuck my slutty hole!’
-
When the omega is back at his new home, showering under hot water and cleaning himself with cherry scented soap, sticky slick drips from his cunt in shame
- Claim me, bite me, breed me. So much for his dreams of science and freedom.

TL:DR Mexican pedophile with 85 IQ writes about sexy sexism. Pic related:
media_GsOd6WxWMAI13n5.jpg
five attempts at rape.PNG
> Some Piltie Alpha would try to steal him from Zaun and turn him into an object of use and pleasure
> Her fear wasn't unfounded
Looks like we have a gender slip and she forgot she was writing her Rule 63. She quickly goes back on course and insists that he's a man - all the while using terms like 'womanizer' and other feminizing language. It's woman-lite, that's all.
> There had been five attempts at rape
Sounds like a miserable, awful existence for poor omegas. Sounds like a few alphas need to be shot in order to make a difference.
five attempts at rape 2.PNG
> Piltovian citizens fighting against it and complaining of the sexist standards
Some good that did considering that Viktor had five attempts of rape against him from a violent police force.
> Most alphas didn't welcome omegas in their academic spaces
What a shocker that a world so inherently sexist and misogynistic doesn't want omegas in academia. Their poor omega brains can't handle it and they're just there to secure a mate. They're just too dainty and dumb!
five attempts at rape 3.PNG
> They wish to become an empire
Piltover is a trading partner of Noxus. Noxus would rather dominate other regions that they know can't put up a fight or will be entertaining to do see (see Ionia). Piltover has Magitech and can level the playing field. Why fight a potential enemy that you can do business with?
> What if Mr. Talis doesn't like me?
I can just imagine him standing there all shaking and teary-eyed with the tiniest hands imaginable, worried about being raped to death or being forced to carry 'pups' he doesn't want. The unfairness of it all, oh!
five attempts at rape 4.PNG
> If he becomes too much, leave his side
He literally can't because he's too limp-wristed to do so. This is a misogynistic universe, remember: if any omega dares to leave, they suffer the worst social consequences imaginable.
> It smells like fire, wild, warm, powerful
> Viktor fears facing the alpha and either pissing himself or producing vulgar slick
Mm yes, nothing says 'inferiority' like producing rotten egg smelling pussy juice because the SUPREME ALPHA MALE SMELL scares you.
> Jayce is 45, an alpha, and terribly brilliant
Meanwhile you're a retarded, limp-wristed faggot who cannot stand up for himself because this is just an OC with the name 'Viktor' tacked onto it.
> Said to be a womanizer
You have nothing to worry about then because you are not a woman, right?
five attempts at rape 5.PNG
> It's better than trying to find a job as a waitress or kindergarten teacher, the few options available for omegas
We are 🌟EXPLORING🌟GENDER by directly stating that omegas are stand-ins for women and can only occupy jobs or roles that suit their 'innate femininity' while alphas enjoy all the fruits of life.
> He smells the alpha before his voice speaks
> A deep, manly voice
ME ALPHA, ME SPEAK LIKE MAN. ME EAT DEER MEAT RAW AND HUNT WITH HANDS. ME KILL. ME WANT PUPS. ME TALK BIG BECAUSE ALPHA IS STRONG.
> He's much taller and wider in person, not to mention painfully good looking
Never missing with the yaoi proportions. Here's Jayce personified:
Alpha male.PNG
> His omega brain whispering that if his hands were an indicator, he had a marvelous thick cock under those formal black pants
Uh huh. Let me guess: his dick goes right down to his knees and we are going to have a 'It won't fit' 'I'll make it fit' dialogue.
five attempts at rape 6.PNG
> Womanizer. Sued by three omegas that claimed three pups were Talis.
A deadbeat dad who smells like a Patagonia wildfire and thinks the manly thing to do is skip out on child support? Wow, he really IS like Andrew Tate!
> Please alpha, breed me! Fuck my slutty hole!
Oh here we go with the retarded UWU FUCK ME ALPHA I'M SUCH A SILLY OMEGA SLUT TEE HEE shit. Don't forget that this author casually 'misgendered' Viktor as a woman, so that's all she treats him as.
five attempts at rape 7.PNG
> But you didn't answer me. Are you truly brilliant?
If all he thinks about is getting his slutty hole bred because 'it's just biology, bro', then no, he's not brilliant. He's relegated to being a fancy secretary because omegas are not allowed to enter academia.
> The one called a beast by fellow scholars
Obligatory:
media_GsOd6WxWMAI13n5.jpg
> Sticky slick drops from his cunt in shame
He's just a one-dimensional bimbo that you regularly see in those hentai games: an empty vessel for someone to project onto, and something female readers tend to avoid by consuming MLM. It seems that omegaverse is its own self-fulfilling prophecy by creating the standards female readers hate, while simultaneously enjoy because no women are in it.
five attempts at rape 8.PNG
> Jayce Talis is a very demanded alpha
*Very demanding alpha. I can see why when all you get in life is shit handed to you on a silver platter. Funny how you see no condemnation of this alpha male privilege from the intelligentsia.
> Lean on cheap child labor and kill innocents
Hey, if they're young alpha kids, they've got it good. If they're omegas, they'll just be child sex slaves. Sounds like a wonderful world to live in, eh?
five attempts at rape 9.PNG
> Feminine, omega clothing
> It's skirts, blouses, dresses that are so short you'd be written up to HR if you were a normal woman
> His uwu so smol body needs XXS clothes because he's literally a child on adult legs.
> The simplest touch of an alpha makes you melt
No thanks, I'd rather use a WW1 era flamethrower on him, napalm and all.
> I know omegas love buying things
Just exploring gender by using the most sexist stereotypes imaginable. What, you gonna argue that omegas love pink and high heels, too? That they like makeup and hairspray?
five attempts at rape 10.PNG
> Model the shortest skirt to Jayce just as much as he wants to slap the alpha
Bitch, please. Those dainty omega hands can't slap so much as a bumblebee. You'd willingly get on your knees to gargle his cock instead.
> Holding Viktor's thin wrist
> Just a wish to highlight how Viktor is still small under him no matter his above average height
He's just uwu so smol compared to our 8 foot alpha here.
> The shame that travels like bile on Viktor's throat as he is told he must dress in the feminine attire he has never enjoyed
What's that? A so-called exploration of gender still has the perceived woman undergo subjugation and humiliation at the whims of the big, strong, powerful alpha male? You don't fucking say.
> Have gone from formal shirts and paints to tight skirts and dresses
Hetslop, but make it kinda gay because this person identifies as male. Even in the rare times omegas have dicks, they are pencil dicks compared to the massive dongs alpha males have. ❌NO❌BIG❌DICKS❌FOR❌OMEGAS
BIG WARM ALPHA.PNG
> Viktor has never been desired by anyone
> Expected his interactions to be like a cliché novel
Look at that. We're breaking the 4th wall. MistressofVos, our maneating Mexican, is not like those other girls writing dumb hetslop. She's exploring gender roles and smashing the gender binary by making the uwu tiny omega wear skirts and the BIG ALPHA MALE RAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR have giant hands.
> A big, warm alpha hand holding him in place
Literally this:
media_G9neWkxWEAAakUG.jpg
BIG WARM ALPHA 2.PNG
> He slaps his as. You're very grabbable, baby
While he has no hips, no ass, and no breasts. Like grabbing a Walmart chicken thigh.
> If Viktor were a better omega, raised in decorum and manners, another of Piltover's delicate flowers who never let an alpha touch their hands without gloves in between
Let's change this to something the author can understand: 'If Viktor(ia) were a better woman, another of Piltover's delicate flowers who never let a nigger touch their hands without gloves in between' - it doesn't sound so fun, doesn't it?
> He's a Zaunite omega, no magazine or reporter would ever believe him
Now, let's see if MOV likes this: 'She's a Latina, no magazine or reporter would ever believe her'. They start understanding when you swap out words for race.
> Jayce's fire-like smell mixing with black coffee and the citric scent of his cologne
So he smells like a Starbucks café. OK.
> If Viktor were less proper, he'd give Jayce a blowjob
I love how this comes out of left field and how all his fears about pissing himself or producing 'foul slick' disappeared when the OH NO HE'S HOT sign appeared in front of him. The man doesn't treat you as a human being yet you want to suck his dick? There really is no hope for women.
BIG WARM ALPHA 3.PNG
> Viktor feels like a bug as soon as she steps into the living room
MistressofVos does not like Mel whatsoever. She routinely shits on her on her Twitter and it does not surprise me she is using the classic 'Get that fucking nigger out of my ship!' excuse. Mel's a beta, a trait desired in Noxus because she cannot be raped at will, even though Noxus is actually meritocratic and probably would be fairer to omegas if they tore off a few dicks with their teeth.
> She won't remember rather than notice his vibrant jealousy than screams not to let her in
*Huffs* THIS FUCKING NIGGER IS TAKING AWAY MY MAN. FUCK HER. THAT DICK IS MINE, DO YOU HEAR? MINE, MINE! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY YAOI, BITCH.

For additional context, here's how MOV talks about Mel:
fuck that black bitch.PNG
BIG WARM ALPHA 4.PNG
Demacia doesn't even share a border with Piltover whatsoever. It's halfway across the goddamn continent. Noxus is, again, a trading partner of Piltover. This 'war' doesn't make a lick of sense, but what do you expect from an 85 IQ Mexican pedophile?
BIG WARM ALPHA 5.PNG
> You think of me as kind?
> Well you are kind
> Proceeds to grope and pinch his nipples because he believes it is his right and then tells said omega what to wear
Sexism is hot provided the guy doing it looks like Johnny Depp if he didn't turn to drugs.
BIG WARM ALPHA 6.PNG
> Wear some makeup. I like red lipstick.
"You need to be more feminine so my workaround hetslop can work instead of sounding like my rape fantasy."
> Pouring himself a glass of whiskey from the fridge
UGH, that's the fastest way to make it taste like cough syrup. Fucking 85 IQ at work.
> A growl on his throat, undressing the omega with his imagination
I like to think MOV thinks 'alpha males' growl like they're caracals at every little thing when they just sound like autists who need their throats caved in.
BIG WARM ALPHA 7.PNG
> Pulling down his turtleneck and offer his throat like a whore. Claim me, bite me, breed me
We're speedrunning the 'I'M A BIMBO PLEASE FUCK ME SENSELESS WITH YOUR MASSIVE COCK' trope.
> This cannot be happening, not to him, a disabled Zaunite omega always in need of favors and pity
Yes, your disabled, crippled, ugly white ass is being asked on a date by a powerful omega who once made you nearly piss yourself and 'produce foul slick' because you were terrified of him. Said powerful omega can literally do what he likes and suffer no consequences; this isn't done out of love for you. He just sees easy pussy and is taking it.
BIG WARM ALPHA 8.PNG
> He is like the prey that jumps into the hunter's trap after a tasty meal
This doesn't make sense. The metaphor is meant to work like this: the animal goes to the trap for food, because they are desperate for food, and ignore their instincts to avoid said trap. Why would they enter a trap after eating first?
> He thinks of himself as a virgin whore
I think of you as a retarded, pedophilic Mexican who should be drop kicked to Guadalajara.
> He wants this, he wants Jayce Talis; it's a desire that has grown deeper on his organs, lust and love mixing in a bowl that contains sugar, petals and Jayce's favourite cognac
So he won't mind if I spike it with rat poison, yeah?
> It's hard not to crave a taste of the handsome alpha
"I will write a female-coded character with the worst sexist traits imaginable, but with a male name so no one calls me out for said sexism and I'll earn praise for making a fellow brown man a sex beast." Just Mexican things.
> Viktor thinks lately he tends to be nothing but a hungry kitten wishing to know the pleasure of the flesh
Why 'kitten?' Is your pedophilia sneaking through again, the way PBM's does with every piece she writes?
> Heimerdinger would be shocked to see him now
I'll say. He's been forced to wear clothing he admittedly does not want to wear, and has to take on a more 'feminine' appearance to please the alpha male he wants drilling out his pussy. Just Woman Things.
> Scent taking over like a wildfire melting a marshmallow
This simile is retarded and you are also retarded.
> Choke on Jayce's cock as long as it takes for the man to find *ecstasy and completion
You're in luck, that'll happen in Chapter 2. Take a guess how big BIG WARM ALPHA MALE is. Those yeti punchers might give a clue.
BIG WARM ALPHA 9.PNG
> White skirt and wine turtleneck
Those colours don't run.
> Councilor Talis shows kindness to his Zaunite slutty secretary
I like how omegas are always viewed as sex objects to be raped, groomed to be raped, or just used as fleshlights, and cannot aspire to be anything else because It's Just Biology, Bro dominates their way of thinking. Sexism, Inc is hot and OK provided you have a 12 inch slab of man meat to put omegas in their place. Otherwise, I would not blame someone for going Weather Underground on this society.

Chapter 2 is where the goods are. I'll post it when it's ready.

This is the author's first fic, and along with shitty grammar and punctuation she has decided to sprinkle in some medical misinformation. Who doesn't like getting their first pap smear with a little penile persuasion?
pap smear.PNG
> She herself had just had to go to the gynecologist to get STD tested
You can get that done at an STD clinic. Pap smears are to test for cervical cancer risk and you get pamphlets in the mail. Second, no, pap smears aren't meant to hurt. They can be uncomfortable, but they should not hurt. IUDs, though? That's where you should request anesthesia.
> You're 22 you should've gotten it at 18
It depends on sexual activity and age group. If you are high risk you can get it done early. Considering this individual is not sexually activate, they usually recommend it at 22-25 years of age.
pap smear 2.PNG
> Make an appointment for a standard exam
> Gets it in two weeks
Huh, that American insurance sure is coming in clutch!
> Is that important information
yes. They're vagina doctors. They are not going to care if you are sexually active or not.
pap smear 3.PNG
> A 22-year-old who had never orgasmed
And wouldn't you know it? They end up squirting up a storm from the future rape. The classic, 'individual who has never orgasmed yet orgasms the best they've ever had in their life once raped' trope. I also find it curious how this individual knows they are trans from the Internet yet has never watched porn - 2D or 3D - and has no idea how sex works. They're more ignorant on sex than an African bushman.
pap smear 4.PNG
If you are wondering what the trans tag is for, it's just for the tit tape. Otherwise, this character is just a woman. Their periods have not stopped, they underwent female puberty, and still seek the care that is earmarked for females. There's no mention of T here whatsoever.
pap smear 5.PNG
> An audition to be the next 40-year-old virgin
I forgot that being a virgin in trans culture is akin to blasphemy. If you aren't a bonafide slut by your 20s, they don't want you in their group.
> Don't worry, Dr. Talis is just as skilled, and he's pretty handsome
They should inform the patient of a doctor change. That is a matter of consent. Over here, they ask you if you prefer a male or female doctor/nurse. Viktor was not asked. This is a lack of professionalism.
pap smear 6.PNG
> Maybe looks did matter...just a little
'WOAW MY VAGINA DOCTOR IS REALLY HOT AND IT'S MAKING MY KITTY-CAT FEEL WEIRD. I REALLY HOPE NOTHING BAD HAPPENS!'
pap smear 7.PNG
> His t-tape
No testosterone, no gender neutral clothing, but he went and got a name change and that's all it takes to be a True and Honest Man.
> Vaina
Mmm yes, nothing like a Vaina Doctor to look at your vaina and make sure you don't have an STD with a pap smear that you don't need.
pap smear 8.PNG
> Leaded
I can think of someone else who needs to be 'leaded'.
> Do they normally strap you in? That didn't feel normal
'Shithead pooner who is so naïve they don't know how their own body works and gets taken for a ride by a cis male' should be a trope by now. It's the Madonna and the Whore but with trans tape.
> I mean, no, I haven't masturbated
But you know full well what being trans is and made the conscious decision to transition from the same subs that talk about nothing but sex. Make it make sense.
pap smear 9.PNG
> I mean I know it just never really works
Right. You don't know how your vagina works, but you know how MEN work, and that's why you decided to transition, right?
pap smear 10.PNG
> His clit and labia
Glad we know what those are.
> Since you're a virgin, your vaginal canal is rather tight to your still un-stretched hymen
THAT ISN'T HOW IT FUCKING WORKS. The hymen is a stretchy membrane that covers the entrance of the vagina. The vaginal muscles are inside the vagina itself. The hymen can be broken with exercise or even by using a tampon; some women are born without it. It is not proof of virginity. I really wonder if these retards have taken sex-ed in school.
being a bitch.PNG
> He had a degree and Viktor didn't
> he was being a bitch
Take heed of female socialization in action: if this were Jessica Yaniv getting manhandled, he'd bitch up a storm, call everyone a transphobe, and file a legal complaint against the office. Since this is a pooner, all they can do is curl up and cry and relent to the demands of the very sex they seek to skinwalk. All that trans tape tit was press your breasts; it didn't give you a set of balls.
> Slick dripped onto the leather of the chair, earning Viktor a chuckle from Jayce
Don't you love it when a virgin who has never masturbated is a natural squirter?
being a bitch 2.PNG
> All he could do was whimper pathetically
What, there's no 'raising his voice' or 'yelling manly'? No 'making your presence known' and 'asserting your dominance'? You just lie there and take it like a scared woman? Huh.
> He still lubed fingers
When you're so horny and desperate to post your first fic you don't even proofread.
> Viktor's mind was apologizing already before his mouth could
There's that female socialization in action. The more these people talk, the more the adage, 'when transwomen are upset, they dropkick a bookshelf; when trans men are upset, they cry in the corner' is proven true. There's nothing that screams 'I'M A REAL MAN NOW, DAWG' like apologizing mentally for a male doctor you never requested fingering you.
being a bitch 3.PNG
> His cunt was still leaking, drooling slick and pulsating
Drooling like a dog, I see.
being a bitch 4.PNG
> Gets smacked on the thigh from a male doctor
> Does nothing but whimper and cry and acknowledge the doctor was right
Even Amber Heard had more gusto, tf.
being a bitch 5.PNG
> His period was painful and irregular that had to mean something
So why are you getting an appointment for a procedure involving looking for cancer cells? Again, this is a character who knows all about being trans, yet did nothing about their errant female anatomy for years. This isn't a case of laziness or lack of access - he's just that retarded.
being a bitch 6.PNG
> He felt something press at his entrance: heavy warm, and terrifying thick
> Cannot tell the difference between metal and flesh
OK.
> Being forced to accommodate something larger than a tampon was dizzying
So he HAS used tampons. You'd think the hymen would have already been punctured, but no. We're going to pretend it's like popping the lid off a jar and that if it's broken, you're 'impure'. The Venn Diagram between religious fundamentalists and genderspecials being obsessed with sex while knowing nothing about anatomy is a circle.
> Not just wet, but soaking
'Yeah I got raped but at least I came, right?'
being a bitch 7.PNG
> Pulled out the speculum and thrusted it back in
Now, had this person been a little more observant, he'd have realized that you can't thrust a speculum that's been opened in and out like that. It's pretty much locked in place. What do you think IS capable of being thrust in and out no problem? That's right: a Coke can cock.
> Who's gonna believe you? A random 22 year old vs a doctor with a clean record and hundreds of happy patients?
Again, if this was a transwoman, there'd be a fist fight. Lawyers would get involved. Someone would get beat with that used speculum. They don't sit for that. They make the threats. But here, all the FTM can do is meekly whimper and threaten to report a doctor and he laughs it off. Maybe if our friend here was a little more manly they could use the transphobic card against a male doctor they did not schedule and he'd be ostracized out of his practice.
being a bitch 8.PNG
> He was naïve and stupid to even think there was
I agree. Flesh and metal are two different textures. That steel is still going to be cold when it went inside, and he didn't hear it being opened, either.
> Claiming you don't want it yet the moment I touch you you squirt around my cock
The classic, 'you asked for it because you came' argument. Sounds very...male. A shame our lil buddy here can't be a real man and make a joke about fucking him instead.
being a bitch 9.PNG
> A wet plap as he bottomed out
How nice of him to use lube.
> Too liquidy to be slick, clear and dripping
It's just runny slick, bruh.
> He was enjoying this
Something something 'it's a physiological reaction'. Least he doesn't produce 'foul slick' like that one omegaverse.
> Each drag of Dr. Talis' cockhead against his g-spot made him see stars
> Doesn't know how his anatomy works
> Knows exactly where and what his g-spot is
Logic.
> I forgot how good it feels to fuck a virgin
I wonder how Caitlyn would react to finding out that her sexy co-doctor is actually a rapist who targets tiny trans men. Sounds like a nice hate crime lawsuit, doesn't it?
being a bitch 10.PNG
> Feeling like he had to be sorry for something
Meanwhile, the transwoman would be biting off his ear Van Gogh style.
> Thick, hot, virile cum filled the brunette, stuffing his cunt full
I like how there's more emphasis on the man's cum being virile than this being a blatant rape fetish.
> Still sobbing like he was mourning
Do you mourn after drowning? Nice malapropism there.
being a bitch 11.PNG
If I was a secretary and I noticed a patient was sniffling, red-eyed and sobbing like that, I'd instantly realize it wasn't about discomfort. This bitch is typing away and ignoring an openly crying patient. I swear, if these people were really serious about trans men being men, this would be a perfect time to lawyer up and rape this practice in the courts. You've got that 'virile semen' as proof, as well as vaginal damage. Hang that Hispanic up high.
> That gaze only made Viktor wetter
"Yeah I got raped but you know what? It made me wet so it really wasn't all that bad! Yeah I might get pregnant against my will and this male doctor was forced on me but I had my first real squirting orgasm!"

It's a fetish. These same people will complain about rape culture while making their self-insert (and this is a self-insert with a different name attached) a rape victim. It's on the same level of those women complaining about ICE and then creating AI-generated ICE agent porn. They don't hate it provided the man doing it is hot.

Aw, remember "britpicking" back in the day? Authors were apologizing apologising profusely in their notes for not having a real live British person read over their Sherlock fanfiction before it was posted.
It's funny because as a Leaf, we go between using 'apologize' and will also add 'u's to words like 'colour' or 'flavour'. Some French grammar rules will sneak in there, too. The big difference between Sherlock and Kpop is that British culture is still white (for now) and therefore familiar, albeit there are regional nuances and dialects you should research into. Korean culture might as well be a world away; hell most Kpop fans don't even know Koreans are actually swarthy. Kpop idols use skin whitening creams; compare them to Korean marines and it's night and day (and it also explains why Kpop is so popular: white skin rules). Hell I've posted Yookay authors here (tigercristabel) and they still can't write for shit, so them being of Ye Olde Motherland means very little if they can't abide by the language they thrust onto the world. You don't see them do that anymore, especially not for new fandoms like 'Red, White, and Royal Blue' that has a Windsor-adjacent royal marry an American-Mexican burger mutt. I doubt there are 'UHM, ACTUALLY' comments telling the author they used the wrong dialect.

Related: many of you have probably experienced AO3 authors losing their shit if you so much as tell them they've misspelled a word or used the wrong word - porpoise instead of purpose, for example - and scream at you that fanfic is free and you should be grateful. I'm not the only one who has noticed this:
spoiled brats.PNG
spoiled brats 2.PNG
And even if their fic does have huge numbers (see: Coming Home) they can still get things wrong, such as confusing bacteria and algae for technology that doesn't do the things they intend it to do (environmental enzymes meant for clean up vs internal combustion engines). You will still get blocked for pointing this out.
spoiled brats 3.PNG
spoiled brats 4.PNG
Also related: you've heard of ABO being an effective way to explore gender. Here's an example of that gender exploration:
Kpop ABO.PNG
Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnd it's just a rape and pregnancy fetish. WE ARE BREAKING THE CONDITIONING
 
Last edited:
Now, I am not a MHA fan, but I am aware that it has a nastier fandom than Arcane does. This artist (whose art I like, some pieces are nice, and others are creepy) posted her contribution to a MHA piss zine. This was the writing involved:
G5Ifft0bIAEduMR.jpgG5Ifft2bMAAM_DP.jpg
It's as bad as you can expect.

This is a late quote, but how bad is the MHA shit kinks in comparison to piss ones? Here's an example fanfic featuring Mirko and Deku's mother:

1769922135419.png

Inko Midoriya was on her hands and knees scrubbing the office floor of the Miruko Hero Agency. It was hard work but she was happy to do it; she had always found household chores enjoyable and she was in high spirits while she cleaned.

In truth, she was very grateful for the job. Finances had gotten tighter over the years, especially with her son's UA tuition added to the mix. But before he even graduated the Hero Course, her son had helped her find a new job!

'It just took one week of internships for him to build strong enough connections to get me a job here,' she thought, smiling at the memory as she scrubbed a stubborn spot off the tile. 'My little hero is such a smooth operator!'

Inko giggled to herself and hummed one of her favorite tunes as she continued cleaning. She was completely lost in her work, enough so that she didn't hear the door open or the padding of rabbit-like feet drawing near.

Moments passed with her oblivious to the fact that she wasn't alone, that another party was looming over her, leering down at her as she worked. A heat and a tension in the room grew and it reached a fever point before Inko realized, and even then it was only because the new arrival lashed out at her.

SMACK!

"AIIE!!" Inko jolted and screamed as she felt a hand swat across her butt. The smack was strong; her ass was big and heavy but the slap had it bouncing and shaking from the impact. It stung, just a bit, and the ripples of the impact radiating across her flabby cheeks rattled her and made her shiver as the initial shock quickly shifted into fear.

But that fear melted away when she heard a familiar laugh, a loud bellowing cackle she knew all too well. Her raised hackles relaxed and she sighed before turning her head to look over her shoulder.

"Hello, Rumi," Inko greeted, her deadpan tone not at all welcoming.

"Inko!" Miruko cheered then smacked the woman's ass again before sinking her fingers in and squeezing her meaty cheeks. "Did you miss me?"

Inko sighed again. She should have known it was just Rumi; no one would dare to break in to the Rabbit Hero's agency and no one else would be so brazen about sexually harassing her staff. It was wholly inappropriate the treatment she received from her boss...except for the fact that the two of them were kind of a thing.

'If "a thing" means she has her way with me whenever she wants, that is...'

"Must you always spank me every time you see me?" Inko complained, shooting a glare back at the heroine, a glare that failed to hold any real fire when surrounded by her soft and round features.

"Aww, don't be like that, Inko!" Miruko said, her shit-eating grin only growing bigger. "How can I resist your big, beautiful butt?"

Inko shook her head and blushed. No matter how many times Rumi teased her, she always felt bashful from having her fat ass admired.

"I'll never understand why you're so into my ass," she said, repeating and an often-used phrase between them. "I still don't get why you're into a dumpy old mom like me at all!"

Miruko kept smiling, though her features softened just a bit. She dropped down into a crouch, right behind Inko, then leaned forward and wrapped her hands around her waist before squeezing tight, drawing the woman’s backside into a hug from behind.

"Are you kidding me?" Miruko asked, before nuzzling her face against Inko's pillowy cheeks. Miruko was a hard woman, obsessed with strength. She looked down at almost everyone weaker than her, turning her nose up at those who put no effort into becoming stronger.

People like Inko, if she was being honest. People who were soft and weak, people who let their bodies grow into all fat and no muscle.

But somehow Inko was different. Miruko immediately fell in love with her; she was kind and nervous, gentle and meek. She was all the things Miruko thought she hated...but, to her surprise, she also had a fire inside of her, buried deep underneath her soft exterior. She had no real strength to rely on, but if you pushed her, or rather, if you threatened her son, she would leap into action with everything she had and plenty that she didn't.

Discovering that about Inko had charmed the Rabbit Hero, and after that all those things she hated seeing in other people turned her on with Inko. Her round, chubby body, her warm, gentle demeanor, and...

"Your ass is perfect!" Miruko declared, laughing as she continued to squeeze it. Inko squawked, embarrassed at having her backside captured in Rumi's unbreakable grip, but her resistance only made Miruko laugh harder.

"I'm serious," Miruko went on. She leaned back so she could stare lovingly and hungrily at Inko's ass as her hands kept roaming across its wide surface. "I love it so much," she purred, mesmerized by the sight. "It's irresistible! It's almost a shame I don't have a cock because let me tell you, you sexy bitch, I would wreck your gorgeous ass every chance I got!"

Inko blushed even harder, feeling the heat creeping under her collar.

"I-I can't imagine..." Inko whispered weakly as she immediately started to imagine just that: getting fucked by a long, dark and impossibly hard cock.

Rumi was a handful for Inko and her perverted affection was a pain in the ass more often than not. But loud, brash, pain-in-the-ass women were kind of Inko's type; she had grown up with Mitsuki, after all.

Mitsuki had dragged Inko into a lot of her firsts. Much like Rumi, Mitsuki had always had her way with Inko, teasing and groping and going from there. She had been a headache from the day they met, but Inko couldn't deny that she had always enjoyed the naughty things they got up to.

But the two of them grew up and found husbands and Inko thought she had left those raunchy days behind. After years in the path of Hurricane Mitsuki, marrying plain, calm Hisashi had been a welcome change from being attached at the hip to her overbearing girlfriend. But with Hisashi gone now and after years of focusing on raising Izuku alone, Inko had found herself missing the rush of such raucous and unrestrained love.

'And that's when I met Rumi,' she remembered, smiling at the thought. She had been so happy about getting the job, so focused on doing her best, but then her boss quickly started taking things too far. It didn't take long for Inko to fall prey to Rumi's advances and their relationship quickly settled into whatever it was now.

Inko got lost in her thoughts, remembering the beginnings of their bizarre relationship, and once again found herself unaware of her surroundings. So much so that she didn't hear the sound of Miruko kicking off her boots or peeling away her leotard. Neither did she sense the heat of Miruko's lust behind her, radiating off the Rabbit Hero’s naked body as the brash woman bit her lip and rubbed her pussy in further excitement at the sight of Inko’s big ass.

"You really don't understand," Miruko breathed, her voice thick with lustful emotion. "...how much I love your perfect ass?" Inko hummed in confirmation and Miruko shook her head. Then with another wide smile on her lips she said, "Then let me show you."

Miruko's hands both clapped down on Inko's ass and completely ripped her skirt and panties away in one rough swoop.

Having her ass grabbed so aggressively grabbed Inko's attention, violently breaking her out of her dreamy thoughts. Inko's head swung back, her eyes wide with indignation.

"Rumi! What are you doing?! You just ruined my favorite skirt!"

Miruko just laughed at her, enjoying the anger her girlfriend was directing at her. She didn't reply with words and just reeled her arm back and swung it around to smack Inko on the ass again, her wide, infuriating grin still bright as could be.

She smacked once, twice and then again, each time squeezing a loud shriek from her target. And by the third swat Miruko had cowed Inko to her will, as evidenced by the last shriek being followed by a heavy moan of pleasure.

Miruko shivered at the sound and licked her lips as she watched Inko's skin turn rosy from the playful abuse of her spankings. She shifted gears and started massaging the woman's butt, kneading her fingers in soothing motions across her fat cheeks.

"Oh, it feels so good," Miruko moaned as she savored the sensation of squeezing Inko's jiggly, cellulite-ridden flesh between her fingers. She closed her eyes and sighed, letting a calm, blissful moment linger before she broke it abruptly by firmly clamping her hands onto Inko's hips and opened her eyes again.

"Now I'm gonna fuck you, bitch!"

That was the only warning Inko got before Rumi began her next attack. She felt firm, muscular thighs crash into her ass as Rumi slammed her hips forward into her. Inko was rattled as the Rabbit Hero’s hard body pushed into her soft, pillowy butt.

Miruko didn't stop. She pulled back and thrusted again, quickly finding her rhythm and setting a breakneck pace. She thrusted and bucked, against and again, roughly humping Inko's ass as if she was fucking her doggy-style, even if she had no cock to ravage her with.

'Not that she needs one,' Inko thought as she winced and groaned. She felt the force of each impact ripple through her fat ass, tidal waves of motion rumbling through her well-padded body. Her buttcheeks shook, squashed and stretched, battered by Rumi's relentless assault.

Before long, Inko was overwhelmed. Miruko was a force of nature, powerful and aggressive, and she was having her way with Inko in a way the chubby mother had never experienced before. Her body couldn't handle it, but even as she was reaching her limits, Inko couldn't help but smile.

'She's so rough,' Inko thought, ‘but I can feel how much she loves me, how much she wants me!' Every thrust, every push, every rough impact slamming against her tender ass carried with it Rumi's affection and lust for her.

'I still don't get why she loves me,' Inko thought, her cheeks flushed from exertion and her brow dripping with sweat. 'But there's no ignoring that she does...and it makes me feel so happy!'

Miruko felt the same way; humping Inko's ass was a dream come true! She and Inko were complete opposites: she was a hard woman with a hard body, but Inko’s fat, cushioned butt could handle her perfectly. Inko’s quiet meekness balanced out her own hot-headed brashness. She never would have imagined falling for someone so different, but Miruko found that she and her girlfriend fit together perfectly.

'I really do love her,' Miruko admitted to herself. Then the fierce edge returned to her smile and she started going harder as she bucked into Inko. 'And what better way to express that love than to fuck the living shit out of her!’

The only thing missing was that cock Miruko wished for in times like this. Plunging deep into her lover, destroying her holes from within, making her submit to her unyielding lust was something she craved. But even without a thick, meaty member there was still plenty of excitement to be had as their bodies crashed together.

Both she and Inko had lush patches of hair on their lower bodies. Inko had a veritable jungle growing between her legs and the thick, wild green crept from her crotch all the way back to her asshole. Miruko was pushing so close into Inko's behind that her own silvery pubes started to meet with Inko's anal hair, and with each thrust they each tickled the other as their bushes began to tangle together.

Inko’s moans grew more frequent. Their pubic hair would become enmeshed when Rumi pushed into her and those hairs would get yanked and tugged when she leaned away. Her senses lit up with a sharp sting every time the hairs between her cheeks were pulled and the slight hint of pain in the middle of her naughty pleasure made her heart race.

Soon enough, Inko felt something else start to stir within her. One moment she was lost in the moment of her girlfriend humping her ass, and the next she began to panic as she felt something gurgle inside her gut.

'Oh no,' Inko thought as her heart suddenly dropped. A sudden stomachache gripped her and a sharp cramp stole her focus even as Rumi continued to batter her ass. One gurgle was followed by another and Inko could feel her bowels screaming and rushing into action.

"Rumi!" Inko shouted as she looked back at the Rabbit Hero with wild eyes. "You have to stop! I need to use the toilet and it's a big emergency!"

Miruko stared down at the look of worry and embarrassment on Inko's face and devoured it with glee.

'She looks so cute when she's freaking out,' Miruko thought. She ignored Inko's pleas; instead she started humping even harder. She merely licked her lips, eating up her lover's distress.

"Don't worry, Inko," Miruko said. "I can handle a little mess easy!"

Inko whimpered, giving her a pleading look, but Miruko just laughed at her.

"Stop worrying and just let it out. Let loose! Do your worst...give me your shit!"

Inko's lip trembled and she turned away from Rumi's gaze, shaking her head back and forth.

'No...don't say that, Rumi! Don't tell me to do that...I can't, I can't!'

She begged her body to listen to her but her fate was sealed. Another sharp ache squeezed inside her belly and Inko sucked in a gasp of air through her teeth. Like a sudden storm, shit rushed through her bowels. Her asshole trembled at the surge racing to escape her body. It dilated, opening wide, and before Inko knew it a searing deluge of wet, runny shit violently sprayed out behind her.

SPLORRCH!

Miruko gasped in surprise and awe as the first strike of shit hit her. With their bodies pressed so close together the blast of hot diarrhea splattered between them, splashing between Inko's cheeks and liberally spraying her own body, too.

It struck her midsection straight on. Inko's feces soaked through Miruko’s thick pubes, staining the silky, silvery strands of her bush a deep, murky brown. The color of Inko's waste was almost as rich as Miruko's well-tanned body, but it lacked the luxurious sheen her healthy skin held. It was pure filth, slippery and sticky at the same time, hot and acrid as it clung to her body.

Miruko loved it. The heat, the wetness, the utter dirtiness of it was exhilarating! She closed her eyes and basked in the filthy moment, in the feel of Inko giving in to her body's urges and freely spewing shit between them. She breathed a deep breath through her nose, filling her lungs with the toxic stench of Inko's shit filling the air of her agency. It burned in her nostrils; it made her nose turn in instinctive disgust. It was nasty, plain and simple, but Miruko enjoyed the assault on her senses to the fullest.

'I love this!' she cheered again to herself.

A moment passed, quiet save for the sputtering belches of Inko's ass pumping out more and more splatters of poop. But it didn't take long for Miruko to resume humping Inko. Now, however, each squish of her hips against Inko's fat ass were joined with a wet squelch as the thin layer of shit between them lubricated each touch. Inko made a mess spewing the storm of sewage from her swollen asshole but Miruko took it even further. With each smack of her body against Inko's she smeared the shit around more and more, spreading it all across Inko's wide cheeks and letting it drizzle down her own thighs, too.

"This is so fucking good," Miruko announced. "I love how filthy you are, Inko!"

Inko didn't reply with words but her butt had more to say. Volley after volley of shit continued to flow out of her, even as Rumi continued to grind against her. The space between them just got messier and messier as loose, molten shit continued to splash between them before crashing down into a thick, muddy puddle below.

"I've never felt so alive!" Miruko continued, laughing and cheering as she sang praises for Inko's feces. Her loins were on fire, both from twisted carnal excitement and the heat of Inko's diarrhea hitting her body. And it wasn't just the heat alone that flared her senses; the harsh tingle of Inko's waste irritating her skin spiced things up for Miruko even more.

Miruko was having the time of her life but Inko was mortified. She felt so much shame losing control like this, in front of her beloved Rumi, but no matter how hard she tried she couldn't stop it from happening. Her body wasn't listening to her at all!

"I'm disgusting," Inko sulked. Hot, ugly tears started streaming down her cheeks as the embarrassment became too much for her to bear.

Miruko heard Inko's voice and frowned. It was one thing to tease and take delight in her girlfriend's anxious personality, but it went too far when she heard so much hurt in Inko's cries. She stopped moving her hips and began to speak in a tone so gentle that it tasted completely foreign on her tongue.

"You're not disgusting, sweetie," Miruko began, choosing a gentler pet name for her girlfriend than her usual, term of endearment: "bitch". "You're beautiful! I love you, no matter what; nothing you could do could ever push me away."

Miruko leaned forward and wrapped her hands around Inko’s waist, squeezing her in a brief embrace that spread shit even further across their bodies.

Inko's sniffles slowed and Miruko smiled when she felt some of the tension ease out of her girlfriend's body. She smirked and let the tender moment come to an end then continued on with her usual banter.

"And this is the last thing that would ever push me away! I love getting dirty with you, you big, fat bitch!"

Inko laughed, letting the last teary warbles in her voice melt away.

'God, I love her,' Inko thought. Rumi was a pain in the ass, but she was her pain in the ass. Comforted and reassured by Rumi's uncharacteristically open display of tenderness, Inko decided to trust her lover and stop letting shame hold her back from having fun with her.

"Then get ready," Inko said as she glanced back at Rumi over her shoulder. "Because this big, fat bitch has plenty more in the tank!"

For the first time Inko took some initiative in their filthy play. She wiggled her hips, sending her fat buttcheeks wobbling behind her. Thick globs of wet shit shook off but more smeared on their skin as she leaned back and pressed her ass firmly against Rumi's abs.

Inko giggled then closed her eyes and grunted. The next thing Miruko knew a loud, bubbling fart was rumbling against her torso and another eruption of shit struck her skin.

It splashed between them, flying out of any gap it could find between their two bodies held so close together, until it fell and added to the pool of filth beneath them.

"Yes! Yes! YES!" Miruko squealed with girlish glee, excited by the utter depravity they were sharing. Her heart felt so light; only Inko could make her feel like this. For all of her encouraging her lover to give in and let loose, it wasn't until then that Miruko really relaxed herself, letting down her defenses and letting herself be open with a giddy and unguarded sense of joy.

'I love all this shit,' Miruko thought, a bright smile beaming across her lips. It was so exciting; there was so much shit, splashed and smeared everywhere, and the way it coated the curves of Inko's ass was so hot!

Miruko was inspired by the sight of Inko's ass covered in shit; she wanted to feel it on her own glutes, too. Then she sensed the heat of the brown lava pooling underneath them radiating and rising up to warm her thighs and she took action.

Miruko pulled back away from Inko's ass and let her hips drop, splashing down to sit in right in the puddle of shit on the floor. She grinded her hips into it, mucking around for a moment to coat her firm, brown ass with the thick, putrid filth. And as she felt it starting to soak into her fluffy rabbit tail Miruko sighed, content and happy to wallow in shit like a pig.

"Ahh..." Miruko breathed out. She closed her eyes and breathed in another lungful of foul, poisoned air, letting the disgusting moment relax her.

And when she opened her eyes again she received another treat.

PLORRP!

Inko spewed yet another burst of shit behind her. But instead of splattering up close against Miruko's crotch, this time it flew through the air before splashing down against her torso.

"Holy fuck!" Miruko screamed in delight. Her midsection was being pelted with a deluge of wet, hot shit. It hit with a punch and it trickled down between each of her washboard abs, heating up every tiny crevice between them. More still splashed up as the shit crashed against her body, painting the underside of Miruko’s naked tits with Inko’s poop.

The shower of shit fired Miruko up even more and she hopped back up to kneel behind Inko, resuming her doggy-style position. Shit dripped off her ass and trickled down the back of her legs, tickling Miruko as she started humping Inko again with a renewed vigor.

Both of them laughed and squealed openly, giving themselves over to the playfulness of the absolutely disgusting moment. It was a bizarre and twisted shape that their sexuality took but they wouldn’t change a thing.

Eventually the fun had to come to an end. With one last sputtering push Inko's ass was spent; there was no more shit to spill. She huffed out a tired sigh as her bowels finally relaxed, but her worn-out asshole remained loose and stretched out after being blown open by her enormous dump.

Miruko looked down at Inko's butt and saw her swollen asshole for herself. Inko's anus was wrecked from shitting so much, left tired and wide open as if it was panting after a brutal workout.

'That's fucking hot,' Miruko thought as she stared at Inko's filthy hole quivering between the cheeks she held spread apart under her firm grip. She watched the last wet dribbles of diarrhea oozed out and once again Miruko was turned on.

Miruko's hand found its way to her own crotch and started rubbing her pussy, teasing her lust as she grew entranced by the sight of Inko's battered butthole. She felt her loins stirring again and she smiled as her fingers ran through the slick layer of shit clinging to her pubes.

"You are such a mess, Inko," Miruko teased.

Inko snorted out a laugh.

"Only because you made me this way, you horny villain!"

Miruko laughed back. She loved Inko when she was anxious, but she loved it even more when some of the fire buried deep within her fat belly made its way to the surface.

"You're right, you're right. I guess that means I need to take responsibility and help you clean up."

Inko heard the mischief in Rumi's tone and began to worry.

"What do you mean? How are you going to do th--AACK!"

With one hand spreading Inko's cheeks and the other pressed against her own crotch Miruko had lined up her pussy right behind Inko's stretched-out asshole. Her wet pubes once against brushed against Inko's filthy anal hairs as Miruko aimed her urethra right at Inko's asshole. And before Inko could finish her question, Miruko had struck, letting loose much like she had encouraged Inko to do before.

But instead of shit, Miruko released a powerful stream of piss. With a precisely aimed shot, the Rabbit Hero filled the fat MILF's asshole with pee, cleaning her shitter with a hot, urine enema.

Rumi's aim was perfect. Inko's asshole was flooded and she felt the rush of hot pee flushing through her bowels. The golden stream washed deep inside of her, filling her up until it started overflowing, spilling out in a filthy, foamy waterfall. As it flushed out her bowels, the pee carried the last traces of shit inside of Inko back out with it. The filthy tea of piss and shit that had brewed together in the depths of Inko's ass poured out freely and added to the hopeless mess on the floor beneath them.

Miruko finished peeing and stood up with her bare feet plodding through the fetid puddle. She watched as Inko grunted, struggling with the pressure of pee seeping in and out of her ass before the woman pushed the last of it out in a final jet of filthy fluids flying out of her overworked ass. Miruko smiled when Inko started to pee herself, openly leaking urine onto the floor from both holes at the same time. And when she finished, with her ass sticking up in the air behind her, Inko let her head droop and her eyes close, completely exhausted.

"I'm spent!" Inko whined. "You wore me out, you crazy slut!"

Miruko laughed then knelt down and swept Inko up into her arms with ease despite the plump woman's hefty weight. Inko blushed at being lifted into a princess carry but smiled shyly as her eyes met Rumi's staring lovingly into her own.

Miruko smiled another one of her rare, kind smiles before she leaned in and kissed Inko. And when the kiss broke the two of them had cleared their heads enough to look down at the aftermath that their filthy lovemaking had wrought.

"What a mess," Inko said in an obvious understatement. There was shit all over the floors, on the legs of the furniture…everywhere!

"I'll help you clean it up," Miruko offered. "But first we should hit the showers and get cleaned up ourselves!"

Inko smirked at Rumi's suggestion.

"Yeah, right. You just want to go for round two together in the shower, don't you?"

Miruko grinned cheekily.

"You know me too well. Getting dirty is fun, but if we do it right getting clean can be just as nasty!"

Link / Archive

Also, are the fics that have the Wank and Tell tag even more degenerate compared to ones without it?
 

Attachments

Who doesn't love their piss fetishes? Lacepirate has got you covered. Your livers will be quivering and your bladders will splatter after reading this tale that would make R. Kelly cry from behind bars. Lines for this fic include:
- So wet already, so warm, so hard. Wanna- ngh, wanna feel you piss on me — all over my cunt; feel it pool under my ass.
- You've been such a good boy, holding your bladder all for me
- until their sopping, piss-wet cunts are kissing
piss me off.PNG
> Oversize jug filled to the brim with water early in the morning
These guys would've won all the Wiis at the 'Hold Your Wee for a Wii' contest.
> Bare witness
*Bear witness
> It drives Viktor wild to hear every trickle, drop, and splash of his urine hitting the toilet bowl
He'd fit right at home in Berlin. They're huge on piss over there.
piss me off 2.PNG
> It certainly wouldn't be the first time they've pissed in some kind of inappropriate location
You've never pissed everywhere if it hasn't included the Dashcon ball pit.
> Roughly grabbing and handling his foreskin, directing the stream through the manipulation of the folds of his labia
It doesn't work that way. All the labia is going to do is just misdirect the stream; it's not going to work as easy as a natal penis does. Women have shorter urethras and 'directing the stream' is almost impossible to do.
> Utilizes the convenient height difference from their position to openly and wetly mouth at his lower belly
> If you don't stop I am going to piss on you
?? You already are?
piss me off 3.PNG
> Hunching himself down a few more inches so he can get his tongue on Viktor's piss-damp cunt
He's folding himself over the toilet to get a taste of those Tarzan pubes? Guess you need some emergency toilet paper.
piss me off 4.PNG
> Dip his tongue thoroughly between his labia and teasing over his urethral opening, greedily sucking back the last drops that cling to his skin
My man is acting like his own personal Stanley cup.
> Continue to nurse on Viktor's throbbing cock
MFW it's 2 inches
> His neglected cunt now drooling into the toilet - full of their combined bladders
If you can stomach the smell of hours-old piss, I suppose your pussy can drool like a dog and it wouldn't be out of the ordinary, eh? Nothing like the smell of urea to get the pussy going.
> Eagerly sucking back his burgeoning arousal cleaning away the remnants of urine
Glad there's all that piss there because we don't know if that ass is washed. We need things to be sterile! Luckily, we have safe-for-drinking bleach that'll sterilize everything.
> Thrusts his tongue into his cunt and laps at his urethra
The urethra is on top of the vaginal opening. It isn't inside. You meant, 'and then laps at his urethra.'
piss me off 5.PNG
> dipping underneath his foreskin
The clitoral hood is not like a man's foreskin. It doesn't stretch as long as a male's does.
> Circling the ruddy and engorged tip of his dick
It's smaller than a cherry, btw.
> Cruelly watching his cock twitch and his cunt throb
But was his cunt throbbing shyly?
piss me off 6.PNG
> Mournfully watching the way their urine is pulled down into the pipe works
You'd think the Library of Alexandria was burning based on the way they're sad their piss is getting flushed down the toilet. Maybe if they had a time machine their combined piss could've saved it, yeah?
> Syntribate
New word for you: 'syntribate' is a stealthy way of masturbating, particularly by using the thighs. The more you know!
> A zipped mattress protector - which stays on all the time now
Damn. Do they have something for the carpet?
> Their regular pillows have been swapped for washable vinyl ones
...just what in the hell did you do to your regular pillows? Cum on them so much they looked like Chernobyl patients after you washed them?
> Emphasizing the distention of Viktor's belly with his own
> Rubbed the tips of their cocks together
Yeah it's not happening. Much like how men with beer bellies can't get their dicks out from under their mass, your 'dicks' are too small to rub against. The only benefit you have are your smaller female bladders.
piss me off 7.PNG
> Coating his labia all the way up to the underside of his cock, more than half hard and peeking out proudly from his foreskin
And all it took was the Piss Whisperer.
> He gasps when their cunts tack together from the barest brush of skin
Me when I throw a wet paper towel at the wall:
piss me off 8.PNG
> To outlast Viktor's bladder of steel
It'd be actually cool if he had one - on top of an actual robo-dick. But we have to stick with the hyena clit for now.
> Wanna - ngh - wanna feel you piss on me - all over my cunt
"Now pause the video because the next thing is so damn twisted: the entire thing is filmed by a midget. Midget. Midgettttt"
> Jayce can feel the hardened nub of his cock pressing against the sensitive underside of his own
Not bad for distended piss bellies.
piss me off 9.PNG
> He'd definitely squirt all over him again, the same as every other time he's felt Viktor's dick pulsing inside of him
> Said dick is only 2-3 inches of growth
Lol. Lmao.
> The combined wetness of their arousal makes loud, slick noises that ring true after Jayce's whining and crying ceased
Me when I take the snake cleaner out of the kitchen drain:
> Temps
Temps, or 'tempts'?
piss me off 10.PNG
> Sloppy, viscous sounds fill the spaces between Jayce's pained moans and Viktor's mocking chuckles
I just think they're having a fight with wet sponges.
> Using the lubricant of his copious piss pooling around their hips and asses
At that rate, you really should bring some laundry detergent because you're your own rinse cycle.
> He grind his cock into Jayce's urethral opening
That isn't happening. The female urethra is too small.
r kelly sheets.PNG
> A blood-hot throb in his cock
You sure that isn't a blood clot?
> So Viktor can grab his cock and angle his pelvis to tilt upward
Sucks that your female anatomy doesn't allow you to simply use your clit to piss through. That is a benefit belonging only to the male; there's no point in 'grabbing your cock' if you're just angling your pelvis to control the stream.
> Pushes, jetting a powerful stream of piss to arch up and over Jayce's body
Someone hire him to do landscaping. Plants will never go thirsty again.
r kelly sheets 2.PNG
> His cock throbbing
Sure, Jan.
r kelly sheets 3.PNG
> Until their sopping, piss-wet cunts are kissing
Me when I slap two wet sponges together:
> Less of a forceful expelling and more of an unrelenting wave as Viktor squirts on him
He's just like a jacuzzi where the streams come out of two different jets. It's got two different tastes, to boot!
r kelly sheets 4.PNG
Thank God R. Kelly is in jail. He might want to get a piece of these shawties.

Our Bridgerton adventure continues and Lady Masemar the Impaler brings us more tea. Get your fans out because it's starting to get HOT! 🥵
grand soiree.PNG
> Love, dear reader, is the epitome of human existence
I'd say basic reproduction is the bane of our existence, and there's no better way to show this than this workaround heterosexual romance.
> Is it true that love described in poems as petals and stolen glances with fragile touches like glass is right before our eyes?
Mind you, this is all predicated on Jayce being fine that Viktor is a pooner even though no one actually knows he has a vagina now. You'll see this plot hole show up more than once.

I am also glad we are talking in French in a world where France does not exist.
grand soiree 2.PNG
> It is not worthy of a high society lady whose manners could be improved
Notice immediately how Caitlyn is held to a higher standard as a woman than Viktor ever is. She's granted more freedoms and privileges than other women, suggesting a society that oppresses on the basis of sex, yet this society is ALSO fine with treating trans people as their 'chosen gender'. One wonders if the author is aware of what kind of SNAFU she just wrote herself in.
> It is time for you to focus on your future and that of your lineage
There's a reason why Caitlyn, a lesbian, gets a lot more hate than the pooner: the pooner still has to engage in PIV sex to get a child, and Caitlyn cannot. Society is willing to entertain pooners, yet it knows what they are. Lesbians? You better suck it up and find a way to like dick.
grand soiree 3.PNG
> An important line of matriarchs who had never bowed to any circumstance
> Bows to the misogynistic mores of high society and is demanding that their lesbian daughter like dick
OK.
> Less feminine goals
> The sciences aren't qualities for a young lady
Again, a different standard; actual women are treated like shit, but if said women identify as men, they get everything they asked for and then some. One wonders why they don't just do it en masse. Would it take away the 'importance' of Viktor being trans? Who knows, dear reader.
grand soiree 4.PNG
> Leading voice in a society that was just beginning to listen to voices other than those of men
> Said society is perfectly fine with gender transitioning
OK.
> We'll be seeing the princes of Zaun
So we've gone back to this honorific rather than 'prince' and 'princesses'. Author can't remain consistent on her own work.
grand soiree 5.PNG
> I'm dying of curiosity to know who is hiding behind that skillful pen
A few guesses:
- Lest
- Leblanc
- Maddie
- Mel
I bet you it's someone we don't expect like Lest.

We then enter a tea party with some NPCs - Elizabeth, Georgiana and Frederick - who are a part of Jayce's unofficial fan club and are fanning themselves because of that 'manly bearing' wafting off him. Jayce has kept his promise to attend social events and they are frolicking in a park that was built by King Heimerdinger, with cobblestones, trees decorated with lamps and all manners of seasonal flowers. Viktor remarks that meeting Jayce was the 'best thing that has ever happened to him.' They then begin talking about Caitlyn and whether she will attend the ball tonight. We learn that Salo loves decorating everything in gold - remind you of someone? - but before they can spill the tea Caitlyn arrives with a feathered headdress of blue and lilac feathers. Vi stumbles over herself to pull out a chair and Powder doesn't get why she does it until Ekko points it out. Caitlyn doesn't like wearing her super tight shoes and you get the impression that she's an NLOG who doesn't like sexist standards being applied to her (in all honestly, I do like her better than Viktor at this point).

We learn a bit more about Lady Masemar the (social) Impaler: she anonymously hands out free pamphlets that offers tea on all manner of social celebrities and royal figures, along with broader social criticism. However, said social criticism dropped off when Lady Caesarine died, so she stuck with local tea instead. She's feared because all of her hunches and social observations have proven correct. Cait says that because of her eagle eyes, she has to act more like a lady, and Vi voices her disappointment. Jayce remarks inwardly that he recognizes said disappointment as other men were courting Viktor and he wasn't there to fight them off. Once again, one has to wonder why MALE homosexuality is allowed, but female homosexuality is not, and why it's OK for men to flirt with an FTM but women can't attend STEM courses.

Before we can address that, though, Jayce offers to take Viktor to the horse racing track, a place he's never been to, and invites Vi along. She agrees, and then Caitlyn also tags along, sensing her opportunity. The area is designed like Versailles, with fancy bridges adorned with wooden sculptures and pristine waters where people go for leisurely boat rides. The horse racing track is not visible from the tree tops - and why would it be, because trees are meant to obscure, and you are not tall or high enough to see over them - but that is all a distraction. Jayce asked Viktor out here to be alone with him, away from Lady Masemar's impaling eyes, and he can't help but think about how nice a diamond ring would look on Viktor's ring finger. They joke about Viktor's cool demeanour at the opera, to which Viktor notes he apologized for, and there's the classic 'Have we met before?' deja vu moment as they talk on the bridge. Viktor has a 'I really want to kiss his lips' moment to which Jayce asks if he has something on his face. Viktor replies no, but that he has 'seen his face before' (see point above).

As they watch a couple - a young man and woman and an older woman who clearly does not want to be there - pass under them, Viktor remarks that people in Piltover are prudish and need chaperones to take them places. In Zaun, people are given chaperones until they are 21, but given that he is a Prince of Zaun, one would think he'd have a bodyguard at all times given who his 'fathers' are.
grand soiree 6.PNG
> yes, that's what I've been doing lately
No shit. I have to say, though, that there hasn't really been much chemistry behind this courtship. There was only one scene of them 'working' together, and that was prefaced by Viktor eating with Ximena. All this talk about 'butterflies in his stomach' seems forced.
> They've spent preparing be to be the next king
They're willing to pretend you are a man because a female sovereign will not be taken seriously.
> My parents have been very permissive with the three of us
I'll say. Pretending that one daughter is a son so that your authority cannot be questioned as men are taken more seriously than women - even while trans people are accepted. Make it make sense.
grand soiree 7.PNG
Hoo boy I wonder what these two will be up to. A corrupt religious cleric and a guy who throws the best soirees, no one throws soirees like I do, it's gonna be the best soiree folks? Gee I wonder what'll happen there.
grand soiree 8.PNG
> The truth was that it wasn't a splendid dance. At least not for Viktor
I love the fact that this dance is supposed to be a big climatic moment for this fic, with all the ensuing sexual tension, and then it just happens and it is like every other chapter. Are they gonna fuck, or what?
> The walls were not painted with gold
"Folks, the walls are gonna be gold, and if they aren't gonna be gold they're gonna be the next best thing, no one does it like me."
> I'm not Caitlyn, Your Excellency. I'm Viktor
Mind you, Cait is 6'0 and Viktor is 5'8. You'd think the cane would've given it away before the height difference.
grand soiree 9.PNG
> Behind a sculpture of Salo fighting a minotaur
"This minotaur comes up to me and says: 'Salo, I don't like what you're doing, you're ripping me off on this property' and I said, 'Mr. Minotaur, the bank already said it's mine, I paid for it and the down payment, you're gonna have to talk to my lawyer' and he goes 'You're a cheating bastard', and I said 'You're fired'."
> He was grateful that no one could see the blush spreading across his cheeks
Aww ain't that cute. He's just a blushing mess!
grand soiree 10.PNG
> His lips looked more than appetizing
Funny because he doesn't have any.
> Lord Salo is a libertine, and that is known by many
I bet you his back door can fit a few statues up there.
> He didn't want to look like the Piltovians who, with just a little freedom and anonymity, allowed themselves to succumb to tainted pleasures
He doesn't want to be a slut. There.
erotic dance.PNG
> In Zaun, erotic literature was not entirely forbidden, but he couldn't read those books
Another sign that he is female: men will go to sex clubs to see the sex happen in person; women will read it. This has remained the same since the Victorian era.
> Sometimes he imagined himself being taken by the man next to him
Totally not your basic bitch bodice ripper cliché of wanting the big muscly man to ravage your virginal pussy and make you squirt up onto the ceiling. Who doesn't like a big-dicked Latin Lover?
> Her scarlet dress and mask of the same color made her look like she was walking through fire
She just looks like someone put blue Gatorade in a fruit punch bowl. Does the author realize she has blue hair?
> Her sister had opted for an outfit in shades of blue
?? Whose sister? Caitlyn doesn't have a sister. Who are we talking about? Did we just misgender Viktor here?
> Her sister's face
WHOSE SISTER. THE ONLY ONE RELATION HERE IS VI AND VIKTOR.
erotic dance 2.PNG
> Viktor looked at his sister's pleading expression
> Cait is talking
Caitlyn is not related to Viktor. You have the wrong character speaking, dear author.
> He himself would not be able to control himself if he found himself in a more clandestine space with Jayce nearby
"My pussy was drooling. It could not resist those rippling muscles, that dusky skin that spoke of warmer suns. By the Lord God above I wanted him to rail me; to remind me that even though I was to be King, deep down my loins are that of a woman, and only a well-strapped male could please me thoroughly."
erotic dance 3.PNG
> he avoided looking back, because if someone recognized him, he would lose his mind
> Is the only person there walking with a cane and has recognizable moles that he took no effort to hide
200 IQ.
> Lady Shoola is an artist
We are once again taking traits from Mel and applying it to another character.
erotic dance 4.PNG
> If motivated by a placebo to stimulate carnal connection
That's not what a placebo is. A placebo in this context is an inactive substance that SIMULATES carnal connection. Why would they need a placebo when they're all getting drunk and snorting Runeterran cocaine?
> He wanted to know how Jayce's arms would feel around his waist, if he could lift him easily
You barely weigh 100 lbs. He bench presses that on the regular.
> If he would kiss him with ecstasy or tenderness
This really is a bodice ripper, holy shit 🤣
erotic dance 5.PNG
OHHHH WE'VE GOT THE 'PINNED TO THE WALL FOR SEXUAL TENSION' MOMENT YEAAAAAAAAAAAH BUDDDDDDDDDDDYYYYYYYYY
erotic dance 6.PNG
> He dropped his cane and wrapped his arms around Jayce's shoulders
"Surely no one would recognize me, the lone Prince of Zaun and the only one who walks with a specifically designed cane, and how it epically and dramatically falls to the floor in the heat of passion."
> Eager to be the one to teach Viktor how to kiss
Look at that. Our wee virgin is just having the time of his life with our Latin Lover making love - with his eyes - to his bird-thin lips and his hands going all over that chicken-breast pale body. And they say white people don't season they meat.
erotic dance 7.PNG
> What the hell is going on now, Milord?
You wouldn't be calling a higher-up 'Milord'. You'd be using 'My Lord'. I can hear Tywin Lannister grind his jaw at such disrespect. Hoskel is a high-ranking religious authority who - predictably, because anyone with a brain could tell - spotted Jayce kissing Viktor, and now we have our tee-hee 'we're totally le epic villains' speech as if Hoskel is trying to channel his inner Richelieu whilst being drunk as fuck. I guess Bolbok's only role is to be a villain, too. What will their epic hostile takeover be, and what will it spell for our doomed cosmic lovers?
erotic dance 8.PNG
> The gentleman ran his hands over the lady's bare hips, pausing to appreciate her figure and kiss her on the lips
> The 'lady' in question is a rail-thin, bird-like pooner who no hips, ass, thighs or waist to speak of yet is considered as beautiful as Helen of Troy. Even Lady Maria had bigger thighs than him and she's a 6'5 warrior waifu. If you told me that bleached chicken breast was the talk of the season, I wouldn't believe it, either.
erotic dance 9.PNG
> Red roses with red buttercups
Persian buttercups are red. Buttercups from YE OLDE ENGERLAND are yellow. I can see why you'd color match because delivering a bouquet of flowers that resemble mustard and ketchup while you want to shove your hotdog inside that nice, white bun is a little on-the-nose.

Any bets on whether they'll fuck in the next chapter? It's time to score some bloody goals.

Just your regular four kids in a cottage by the stream, with all the traditional, conservative living it entails. This is the explicit version of a prior fic that established the pregnancy, so reading said fic is not required.
We begin with our couple waking up in bed treating each other with kisses. Our designated cis male and patriarch is nearing 30 years old, and already has a sprog under his belt that left the uterus owner with a significant vaginal tear that forbade intimacy during recovery.
tear me up.PNG
> The doctor tells them not to engage in sexual intimacy due to a perineal tear from childbirth
> They ignore the warnings because they are too impatient
> Consequences ensue
I'm sure our True and Honest Man would be very horny with all the stitching in his most sensitive area rather than nurse the pain and hope the wound heals properly. He doesn't have his Arcane magic to give himself an extra pocket down there. Obey the doctor's orders.
tear me up 2.PNG
> Childlike confusion
This is a 30-something 'man' who reverts back to female socialization when it comes to 'postpartum brain', which is an extremely callous way of referring to a condition many women suffer from. Postpartum depression can be especially traumatic as the mother struggles to bond with her infant and, in some cases, have mental breakdowns and has to have the infant separated from her for its own safety. It's not a laughing matter.
tear me up 3.PNG
> Taking root in the most sensitive areas of Viktor's insecurities
Which are? Apparently pregnancy didn't trigger his dysphoria so that doesn't count.
tear me up 4.PNG
> He's also very aware of their bad habits
> Acknowledges that he's greedy and outright says that the perineal tear is an 'open wound' that he still wants to fuck
No fucking shit is he going to hurt you! You had to get stitches for pushing out your gigantic mixed-race baby!
tear me up 5.PNG
> If there is pain, it can't be because of you
He stuck his dick inside your vagina - very homosexual, very manly - you got pregnant (very masc), and then gave birth to a baby that gave you a perineal tear. Yes, it is his fucking fault you're in pain.
> Viktor had always had a sweet, sweet spot for blushing men who are thrice his size
He's just uwu so smol.

We learn that back in January, Viktor felt 'very pregnant' and was nearing the 40-week mark before his water broke and they had to get more bunny plushies for their future infant. He had a 'gentle pregnancy', and we just straight up drop the 'trans' bullshit and call him 'mom' because that's exactly what he is. During the pregnancy they enjoyed their private time together and Jayce would bring home fruits and vegetables to mimic the fetus as it was growing, going as far as to give Viktor heartburn from all the strawberries he was buying. He'd also buy lemons in bulk (you gotta wonder what the price of those are in Runeterra) and even gravitated towards eggplants, but they were too phallic-shaped for either of them so they stopped buying them. Viktor develops a sweet tooth and consumes all the sugary confectionaries he can, including homemade macaroons courtesy of Ximena - and once again we have a Latina who can't bake, or 're-learned' how to bake, which is blasphemy, I tell ya - without the side effect of cavities. In the end, our seahorse dad - mom? - discovers they are having a daughter, because we know what sex in fetuses mean. We can't assign a gender to them, yet.

Viktor undergoes postpartum depression and it opens up all his raw emotions - for a paragraph, at least. Jayce commits more time to the baby than he does, and it starts to 'fray on his nerves'. Jayce has to go back to work after his paternity leave ends, and Viktor has to mope around the house alone. It gets to the point Ximena, who also detects his depression and foul moods, tries to distract him by going on walks in the part in the brisk January cold. They sit under a blooming willow tree - the only early bloomers of this family are pussy willows, and they do it in late February - and we find out that hey, they're actually in March so it makes sense after all!

In any case, Ximena asks what's going on, and Viktor tells her that he and Jayce had an argument. He has begun to forget things like the titles of his favourite TV shows and his mood swings have been drastically impacted by Jayce's poor sleep schedule. He falls asleep as soon as he hits the bed while Jayce wakes up at all hours of the night to feed their baby. Viktor, being the overprotective mommy - and we really aren't trying with the gender neutral terms here, he really is just a woman - and they fight over Jayce feeding their daughter Isabela while Viktor's maternal instincts are going haywire. Luckily, Ximena is understanding of this moody trans man (who is really just a woman) who is upset he didn't get to apologize to a 'man who doesn't deserve him'. Ximena comforts him by saying she also argued with her late husband, and that babies force parents to set new boundaries. One notices how it is always a woman, especially an older woman, giving this advice, vs a man because men can get pregnant now, dontchaknow.

When Jayce returns home, the air is still thick with tension and Viktor is determined to break the ice. He asks how his day goes, Isabela strapped to his chest, and Jayce responds that it went horrible. In what way, you ask? It's not elaborated upon aside from him scrapping the entire day's work and forcing the students to work in silence as he sulks at his desks. He's not going to have good RateMyProfessor ratings after this, I tell ya. Later, as they still work through the tension and talk about Jayce's students or Isa's new quirks, Jayce says that Isa 'feels more like she's yours than mine', which is a profoundly retarded thing to say because Viktor birthed the child. We learn that Jayce actually feels a form of jealousy because Viktor was being a mother and breastfeeding and taking care of the child at home while he was at work. He insists he isn't jealous, but an astute reader can tell that he is. Viktor jokes that their daughter is enamoured with him and that one day she'll move on from the 'milk factory', to which Jayce says that he is not a 'milk factory'. Very masc, having the breast tissue needed to nourish your young.

Viktor states that he is worried about Jayce's health, to which he fires back, 'what about yours?' because it's very masc not to center yourself and instead focus on others like your maternal instincts demand that you do. Jayce tells him that he's beautiful in every single way, and that words can't (or shouldn't) bring him down. Of course, he being a man doesn't understand postpartum depression (and by that extension, neither does the author) and that casual compliments aren't going to make it go away. Viktor himself tries to find another purpose aside from growing a baby - and it is funny to read yet another trans fic where all the trans man is good for is giving birth - but we'll see how that goes.

Jayce, meanwhile, remains the patriarchal figurehead and has a daddy-daughter outing with a three-month-old who can't even speak yet and is excited to buy her her first strawberry onesie. Everyone coos over how pretty the baby is out in public and once again we use 'mama' to refer to Viktor because no one, not even the author, believes he's male. Jayce also wants to treat Viktor to a salon but Viktor refuses, saying he can cut his hair himself with craft scissors (don't tell this 200 IQ genius that you need barber scissors to do the job properly). Jayce takes Isa out to a sheep farm and once again calls Viktor a 'mama'. Trans men are men, yo. He does it again when they go bird watching, and we hear from a Nonna Griselda that she wants another grandchild. Fun!

Jayce and the baby come back home and there's some light-hearted back-and-forth between the couple for once. Later, Viktor finds Jayce whistling to Isa, who is trying to copy his sounds, and Jayce calls Viktor 'Mama' again. Viktor jokes about being his 'controversially young wife' and surprises Jayce with his new blonde dye job. Sensing the sexual tension, Viktor makes a mental remark that he'd jump Jayce if not for the baby, and Jayce responds that 'isn't a baby proof that we're screwing each other?' This translates into our first smut scene of the fic.
young wife.PNG
> You should see yourself, right now. So pretty. So still
So, uh...we gonna address where his spinal bolts went?
young wife 2.PNG
> Make this safe
Yeah we nearly had a falling out over postpartum depression and who was the better 'mother' but hey, let's make it safe. We can do a safety dance, if we want to.
young wife 3.PNG
This is one of the few times Viktor has actually responded to his baby, lol. The other times it was Jayce taking care of their daughter.
young wife 4.PNG
> Along the underside of one breast
So he kept the tits as well as the rest of his ladybits. Why is he trans, again? Oh, right: more hits.
young wife 5.PNG
> Which mainly gives those rock-hard abs a better angle to work Viktor's cock
1. He doesn't have one because there has been no indication he's even transitioned at all.
2. He managed to keep those rock-hard abs despite moping at a desk and losing sleep over taking care of a baby? OK.
> Dutifully collecting the wetness on its pulp
Why are we referring to breast tissue like it's a lemon we just squeezed?
young wife 6.PNG
> So my mouth down there is interesting again, it seems
I don't think you would've enjoyed sucking up some stitches with your tongue. He had a perineal tear, remember. Depending on its severity, it can take 4-6 weeks or several months. That mixed-race baby had a noggin that ripped that snatch right open. No wonder Jayce got jealous.
young wife 7.PNG
And that's it. Nothing but the trials and tribulations of a heterosexual couple as the woman - and indeed, it is a woman, the trans tag did nothing at all - undergoes postpartum depression and seeks the help of a Hispanic grandma to deal with domestic disputes. 11k words of this and you're still wondering how a Hispanic doesn't know how to bake.

Word of advice: don't tell these people that when they use the word 'mama', they are directly showing that they don't actually see trans men as men, and aren't beating the allegations that this is a way for them to write that dastardly hetslop.

This is a late quote, but how bad is the MHA shit kinks in comparison to piss ones? Here's an example fanfic featuring Mirko and Deku's mother:

1769922135419.png
Out of all the shit I've seen in my fandom, I have yet to see one where there's a farting/shit fetish. It's all piss, lactation and sometimes vomiting, but never shit. That's exclusively a male thing.
Also, are the fics that have the Wank and Tell tag even more degenerate compared to ones without it?
Yeah. They'll range from being laughably bad, to 'what the fuck is this'.

Also, did you know people pair COUNTRIES together? Not Hetalia, which are anthropomorphic human versions of them, but literal landmasses fucking?
what the.PNG
 
Before S2 came out, B_o_i was the most popular author with her take on 'Pretty Woman'. While I will not be reviewing that one today, I will be doing a one-shot of hers. She is one of the more competent writers, so this is just to see whether the smut stands up. Lines for this fic include:
- It’s this greedy thing making you act out, huh? Can’t control your hungry little pussy
- I’ll give you what you need. Show this pussy who it belongs to.
- Go ahead and cum for me. Right on my cock, right where you belong. Wish I could have you like this all the time. Warming me up while we work, just fuckin—split you open right in the lab. Don’t care who walks in. You’d probably like that, huh?
leaky pipe.PNG
> He is not a plumber
> He probably could have fixed the busted pipe
I thought you said you weren't a plumber?
> A flood seems like a bit of an exaggeration
It isn't. Viktor comes from Zaun; he should know more than anyone else that a leaky pipe can indeed lead to a shitshow. Clogged toilets can be a nightmare when you are the unfortunate tenant below ground zero.
> Like he's only half paying attention to Jayce's current catastrophe
Great, more queercatfan sentence structure.

There's some back-and-forth on whether Jayce is capable of hiding a hypothetical body or not, with Viktor being unamused at the entire thing, before he catches on that Jayce wants to ask him something. He ponders getting a hotel or asking Mel (for once, she isn't a villain) before asking if he can sleep on Viktor's couch. He relents, and we figure out that Viktor lives on the outer skirts of Piltover that is closer to Zaun's border in a dilapidated apartment. Of course we know from the maps that he actually does have a house and even as Heimerdinger's assistant made enough money to have a nicer place to live. The apartment is small - comfortable, despite it not being 'Jayce-sized', a term used twice - and has chairs and stools everywhere for Viktor to sit on even if it sounds like a nightmare to navigate around. He stays there for a week and a half and learns Viktor's routine down to how he takes his eggs and coffee. When a week and a half turns to two, there is no sign of the repairs ending on Jayce's apartment. He states he cannot get another cheaper apartment - the Kirammans are not willing to pay that much - and Viktor snarks that he should have to pay rent. Jayce laughs it off and offers to shine his shoes and cane so they can sparkle (and he does shine his shoes like a good ese).

Later, Jayce is as a party that sucks total ass. It's not fun and it's boring and he has to listen to Sir Holloran's hollering. Cait is there but she's too busy flirting with another high society lass. Not even Mel is there, and she was the one who sent Jayce to mingle. After twenty minutes, he asks Cait if it would be rude to leave, and she replies that provided he has made his rounds he should be OK. No one is paying him any attention anyways, so he tells her he's going back to Viktor's place. When he heads back, he finds a little commotion going on:
leaky pipe 2.PNG
> He has a bottle of very strong rum in the freezer
You are not supposed to put rum in the freezer, because 1: The alcohol content will prevent it from freezing, and 2) it'll either turn syrupy or like a 7/11 slushie. It'll taste like absolute shit. This isn't the first time I've read someone talk about putting alcohol like this in a fridge or freezer and it makes my eye twitch.
> Someone taller and broader
Wow, it sounds like he has a type: big hands, big shoulders, slightly tanned skin? What could that mean, I wonder?
leaky pipe 3.PNG
> Matteo
Oh yeah, he likes that Southern spice. He wants that penile papi
leaky pipe 4.PNG
> Is Jayce being the weird one here?
Aside from you admitting you like being a cuck? Yeah, a little.
leaky pipe 5.PNG
> The couch shares a wall with the bedroom
> Viktor only moans once
Lol. Lmao.
> Here. While Viktor and his new friend are also here. To hook up
Stop. Talking. Like this. You know. Em dashes. Can be used. Here. And. It won't. Make you. An AI.
> Because he's not - because that would be weird
See?
leaky pipe 6.PNG
> That is: Viktor, fucking a guy twice his size. Or maybe being fucked by a guy twice his size
It's the latter because he doesn't have a dick. He isn't allowed to have his big schlong put to use.
> If it was inside. Viktor.
This. Does not. Make sense. Just use 'If it was inside Viktor'!

Matteo is gone by the next morning and Viktor is unbothered by the entire affair. Jayce, by contrast, is a little awkward. He basically says Viktor was 'too quiet' and asks if he usually is quiet during sex or whether he does it often. Viktor, still nonplussed, replies that he does it 'every now and then' and that his reactions depend on the partner. He also tells Jayce that Matteo was not his boyfriend but a one night stand. Jayce responds that he wasn't aware that he 'does that sort of thing', and Viktor replies that he does it for stress relief and that Jayce is a prude.

The repairs at his apartment have turned into full-scale renovations so he is not going home anytime soon, and he has to contend with the fact that Viktor enjoys casual sex - with anyone other than him. He begins to wonder if Viktor's excuses for missing galas due to pain are just excuses to bring men over - and he begins to find out that yes, this is indeed the case - and it makes him feel nauseous because he ultimately wants to be the one to do the fucking.
tiny waist.PNG
> Smallness of his waist, and his delicate wrists
He's just uwu so smol.
> His tiny waist
> His generally normal-sized hands had felt obscenely huge wrapped around his ridiculously little waist
Thanks, you've said that his waist is ridiculously small three times already. Let me guess: the 'his waist was so small his thumbs met in the middle' line is going to be used. He has a smaller waist than Yasmeen Ghauri, ffs.
> Viktor's particular brand of beauty is different from hers
Raw chicken vs black sugar. Pick your poison.
tiny waist 2.PNG
> Like. Viktor's an adult
Like, you can like, stop talking like, a teenage girl. Just, like, say things normally like a man would.
> The plumbers that were working on his apartment building are on strike, as are the home builders hired to do the renovations, because his landlord apparently tried to pull some sort of bait and switch
There. Commas are your friend.
tiny waist 3.PNG
> Mostly because I would miss my shoes being so very shiny
There's something to be said here about making the Hispanic man shine the white (wo)man's shoes, but I'll leave that interpretation up to you.
> Bringing another large man
> He's also got brown skin
Wow it's almost as if he's rubbing it in Jayce's face with what he wants.
tiny waist 4.PNG
> What he's wearing
> Doesn't remember what he was wearing the first night even though he could see Matteo's clothes
OK.
> Underseasoned vegetables
White people don't season they cabbages
> They're even Jayce-sized
This is the third time this line has been used.
> It's mid-summer, the longest day of the year
All this and you STILL had to include the Swedes? I see your game.
tiny waist 5.PNG
> Instantly and seemingly jealous
Called it. I also figured that Viktor was doing this on purpose to bait Jayce into fucking him, and it seems that this is 100% the case.
> The wet, hungry squelches of what sounds very much like someone eating pussy
Damn, is he eating pussy or is he helping himself to a Korean barbecue?
> A broad, tan shoulder
He has a type, I tell ya.
tiny waist 6.PNG
> The stranger groans like an animal, like Viktor's cunt is the most delicious thing he's ever tasted
It's funny how this is the first indication that Jayce has learned Viktor has a vagina and not a penis, and he just shrugs his shoulders along. No debate over whether he's bisexual or not, it's just jealousy over white pussy. We've all been there, ese.
> Whore-wide spread of his thighs
Thanks, I'll be using that from now on.
> Did you? Have any fun last night?
Blend this into one sentence, you retard.

The third time it happens, it's 100% deliberate to the point Viktor offers him earbuds so he can 'sleep soundly'. Jayce admits to himself he never intends on using them because he wants to measure the performance of Viktor's one night stands instead.
taunt my mexican.PNG
> Not to listen, but definitely to stay
> He truly doesn't care if Jayce overhears
> Viktor wants him to listen
You don't fucking say. It's almost as if he's taunting him, or something.
> Their deep understanding and easy domesticity that he can't imagine Viktor sharing with any of his suitors
He wants him to be monogamous and is engaging in mate-guarding! How very trad and biological!
> The second option makes his cheeks warm; makes his heart race, makes the heat pool low in his belly.
Semicolons are your friend.
taunt my mexican 2.PNG
> Jayce wonders if this man is taller than Viktor, broader than him
> Viktor seems to have (a) type
No shit.
taunt my mexican 3.PNG
> So good - yeah, yeah. Take this cock, fucking made for it, I swear
Almost as if you have complementary genitalia.
> Maybe decides to stop being lazy and give V's clit some attention
"Look at this fucking chud, refusing to touch your g-spot and clit. Meanwhile I, the Supreme Gentleman, would eat that shit all day."
> Shoulda been a whore or somethin', made to be bent over like this every-fucking-night
Funny how trans men are universally written as being only good for easy sex. You trying to say something, there?
taunt my mexican 4.PNG
> How the sharp angles of his body must soften around the small curve of his ass
What ass? You're fucking a Walmart chicken thigh, buddy.
> Clean out any trace of the man inside him right now, wants to fuck him so hard and deep he forgets he's ever had anyone else but Jayce
Nothing says gigacuck like sucking out other men's sperm. Has he considered joining the cuckoldry subreddit, yet?

This baiting of our spicy Mexican continues for a week. We are three weeks in to Jayce sleeping at Viktor's place. Whenever Viktor declares he's going out for the evening, Jayce announces he'll be at his place - something he considers creepy, but all in all fits into Viktor's grand scheme of baiting his spicy Latino daddy into plowing him like he's a border wall. The third time Viktor brings home someone, it's some posh man with a shiny watch that nearly blinds him. Said posh topsider apparently doesn't understand consent, giving our Latino saviour the opportunity he needs to snag that pussy once and for all.
taunt my mexican 5.PNG
Ah, the classic 'rich asshole tells our poor pooner they're nothing but a slut who opens their legs for any man and this causes the Object of Affection to step up and defend their honour' cliché. The funny thing is, the posh man IS right: he IS a slut, he DOES open his legs for anyone who asks, and he'll do it with or without a drink. It's supposed to tug at the audience's heartstrings and get Jayce looking better in comparison because he has the bigger heart, the biggest dick, and can cause the biggest squirt.
taunt my mexican 6.PNG
> Looking small and haggard
He's just uwu so smol.
> Everything he said was bullshit
Technically it isn't, it was just the way he said it. Had Jayce said it, everyone would be nodding their heads along and saying it was sexy.
taunt my mexican 7.PNG
> he looks so small
UWU.
> Able to help instead of leaving Viktor to his pain
Use a semicolon, bitch.
> Jayce could slide his hand up the slightest amount and find his bare pussy
What a nice way to lead into sex after your pet pooner suffered a domestic incident. I'd love to be fondled after getting slapped, how did you know?
taunt my mexican 8.PNG
Technically it is true, and Viktor is proud of it - he just doesn't want rich assholes with shiny watches saying it. If you're broad-shoulders and have big muscles and a bigger dick, you can call him a dirty slut all you want and he'll moan happily along.

We are now entering the final days of the completion of the Hexgates and Jayce's apartment renovations. Viktor jokes that he'll need a bigger couch, and Jayce remarks that he could just get a second bed, to which Viktor replies that he'd have no place for afternoon tea. Makes a remark that having afternoon tea and spreading gossip is what Jayce does with Caitlyn, which he neither confirms or denies.

Later, we get another scene of Viktor inviting a stranger to his apartment.
hold out.PNG
> Jayce will not be haunted by the many, many memories of how Viktor sounds having sex
Does his voice go deeper or higher? Does he sound more feminine or masculine?
> Viktor won't be unknowingly objectified by his best friend and partner jerking off to the sound of him having sex
He says this now, and then he predictably turns around and calls him a slut.
hold out 2.PNG
> Like a stupid, horny moth to a sexy little flame
This is a real line.
> He's taking it beautifully. The man on top is giving it his ass, punching little noises out of Viktor's mouth
You know how the adage goes: if you ain't first, you're last.
> Like he was hoping for it
Yeah. Yeah, that's been the entire point. Glad you're coming to that conclusion.
hold out 3.PNG
> What, you want your neighbours to hear what a slut you are?
What's funny is that when a Zaunite says it, it makes him angry for different reasons; when a Piltovan says it, he has to step in and tell Viktor he totally isn't a slut and is worth more than that, but when a Zaunite says it, he just agrees that Viktor is a total slut with a loose pussy who has just been stringing him along and how dare he.
> It doesn't dip into the kind of prostitute-esque, over-the-top fake orgasm
So the orgasms are real and Jayce is mad that he wasn't able to give Viktor those orgasms first.
> Brute force efficiency of a jackhammer
In the business we call this foreshadowing.
> It's Jayce. Maybe it's all been for Jayce
He comes to this conclusion and then asks a few sentences later if Viktor has been teasing him. This man is allegedly a genius.
hold out 4.PNG
> he wants to stick his cock in that open mouth, wants to feel Viktor moan around the length of it
Anyone wanna place bets on how big he is?
> Wants him to apologize for stringing him along, dangling himself just out of Jayce's reach
He told you he likes having 'stress relief' and you think he was baiting you?
> Wants him to make it up to him with his hands and slutty, used up cunt
So much for all that 'you aren't the things that evil rich man said' bullshit. You just came out and said it yourself. Funny how it isn't problematic when the person saying it is hot while the one who was was thinner, blond and stuck-up.
> The urge to punish instead of worship
> Barely contained lust
Going all-in on the Latino Beast thing, eh? Never beating the allegations.
hold out 5.PNG
> I'm a creep and a pervert and a terrible friend
Yeah, you just inwardly said your friend was 'leading you on' and had a sloppy, slutty pussy. What a gentleman!
> Even though he is currently naked from the waist down and still dripping with another man's cum
Be a real Alpha Male and suck up that man's cum, Jayce! If you can shine shoes, you can shine pooner pussy.
> Did you keep bringing guys make here to make me jealous?
Why are you asking that when you already know the answer?
spicy Mexican semen.PNG
> Yes, you would have
I'm glad they both admit he's right.
> The neatly trimmed patch of hair below his navel
Aww, no Tarzan pubes? Le sad.
> Being all possessive and stupid and horny, but he doesn't care
It's that Latin Lover coming out. He needs to show that white people don't season they pussies.
spicy Mexican semen 2.PNG
> For me to come in here and take what's mine?
> Describes his cunt as 'sloppy and well-fucked' with another man's semen coming out of it
Hot. It doesn't make you look like a guy who goes after sloppy seconds, no sir.
> He watches Viktor's hungry cunt flutter
But did it flutter shyly?
spicy Mexican semen 3.PNG
> The plump slit of Viktor's pussy, slick coating his fingertips
You know what else is coating his fingertips? Another man's semen. He's tasting said semen and sticking his dick in said semen.
> Why would I want some stranger's sloppy seconds?
Notice how he isn't being 'mean' or 'degrading' here - he's just stating a fact. And he takes the bait anyway and does indeed becomes a pooner's sloppy seconds.
spicy Mexican semen 4.PNG
> Cunt absolutely gushing against Jayce's hand
It's also gushing out used semen, btw.
> It's this greedy thing making you act out, huh? Can't control your hungry little pussy
> Show this pussy who it belongs to
This dirty talk might be somewhat hot if he wasn't sticking it in another dude's used spunk. Literally, you can SMELL that shit. Fresh off the pier. He couldn't even take a shower to clean himself out? Bruh.
spicy Mexican semen 5.PNG
> Viktor's fluttering hole
But was it fluttering shyly?
> Like he wasn't being plowed into this mattress by another man less than an hour ago
Yeah and that man's spend is currently on your dick, bro.
> He fucks into him recklessly, deep and thorough, like he's been imagining for weeks now
Hey, maybe that Coke can dick can scrape out that hour-old sloppy second semen, eh? Knew it had a use for something.
spicy Mexican semen 6.PNG
> The small swell of his ass and dripping slit
At this rate, his pussy has more junk in the trunk than his ass.
> He's feeling so fucking amazing that the thought doesn't push him into a self-conscious spiral
> Viktor's pussy is the best Jayce has ever had
Pussy so good it makes you forget you're sticking your dick in another man's semen, swirling it around like it's a Starbucks coffee, and mixing it with your own. The baby's gonna have DNA from both men, lmao
> Go ahead and cum for me. Right on my cock, right where you belong. Warming me up while we work, just fuckin' - split you open right in this lab
Again, he's doing this while dunking in another man's jizz. Hard to talk sexy when you know intrinsically you are the Second Choice. This must be how idubbz feels.
spicy Mexican semen 7.PNG
> Under Viktor whines in overstimulation
??? A word is missing here.
> He grips Viktor's tiny waist and bounces him on his cock
We know he has a doll waist, thank you.
> Making space for himself so deep inside his partner's hot little pussy
He was just describing it as 'loose' and used a few paragraphs ago. Now it's tight and free real estate. I guess magic pooner pussy can really make men forget that it's a semen receptacle.
spicy Mexican semen 8.PNG
> The bed is not Jayce-sized either
This is the fourth time this has been used.

In terms of writing, it's not as bad as the others I've read and I do like Viktor's witty characterization. The thing that really set me off is that he was fucking another man's used jizz after calling his partner a slut. He went from a male feminist supporting him and saying he wasn't like that to a bodice ripper man who calls the woman every name under the sun. I guess it really is different if the man saying it is hot and doesn't resemble Prince Charles with a Rolex watch.

ITT I posted a fic that was talking about PPP - not People's Populist Press as you might imagine, but Pretty Pink Pussy - and how it was so romantic for a teenage boy to use his 'hockey stick' on said PPP for the first time. Turns out, the author commissioned art and pumped out a second chapter. Lines for this chapter include:
- What should I call it then? Your pretty pussy? Your sweet nectar pussy? Your sugary cunt?
- you make this sound like alpha omega dynamics
- Oh I’m taking that panty
- Prepare me to slide inside that wet pussy
The first part was here:
Pick me PPP.PNG
> Skin dark like dusk
This makes it seem he took a dip in a tar pit and came out African. She means 'dusky skin'.
> Viktor knew he had a big crush on his BFF
> Big shoulders, massive pecs
He's talking about a 16-year-old, btw. At this age he has bigger pecs than Arnold Schwarzenegger did at his prime.
> He suppressed it for so long he learned how to camouflage it so easily
> He wouldn't fight for Jayce's time with his girlfriend
"She wear short skirts, I wear t-shirts" - damn this really is a Taylor Swift song.
> A whole month, a whole freaking month, 30 days!
Yes, that's what a month is. Not including ones with 31 days, of course.
> Who in the loving Janna keeps thinking about his best friend's genitals for a full month?
Sounds like those biological imperatives are rearing their ugly heads.
Pick me PPP 2.PNG
> Umm we're just gonna have sex, ok
Said with all the seriousness and drama of someone announcing that the milk is spoiled in the fridge.
> Yes he looks so sexy for a 16-year-old
What an odd thing to say.
> Not wanting to be hurt just made him blind for everything Jayce did
Ah, the classic NLOG Pick Me: the popular boy pays attention to everyone else but him, but when he finally does pay attention, the Pick Me just can't understand it because there are totally prettier girls out there, OK?! Mind you, he just found out Viktor was a pooner, too. He doesn't have to contend with authentic homosexuality whatsoever; this is a major win for him.
> Messaging his leg in front of the whole school
I heard he bought a billboard.
Pick me PPP 3.PNG
>Blowing kisses at him when he scores in football
Oh yeah that's totally what best friends do. That's also what teenage gay boys do instead of, you know, being a cheerleader.
> Not washing them knowing Viktor loves to sleep in his hoodies
He must have a powerful nose to endure that teenage boy stink.

I also know a woman wrote this because teenage boys do not call staying over at friend's houses 'sleepovers'. They just say they are 'hanging out'. Teenage girls already retire the term for its innocent, playful connotation. BTW, waking up snuggling together while not noticing your 'best bro' doesn't have a dick? Peak ignorance.
> I was just trying to gadge
What?
> Your pretty pussy? Your sweet nectar pussy? Your sugary cunt?
These all sound like the names of candles Gwyneth Paltrow would sell. "Sugary cunt: a nice way to spice up a room. Get everyone addicted to the smell of your vaginal ejaculate."
> Jayce you make this sound like alpha omega dynamics
NO TEENAGE BOY TALKS LIKE THIS, BECAUSE TEENAGE BOYS DON'T READ ABO FANFIC, YOU RINKY CHINK RETARD (or No Habla Ingles Illiterate).
Pick me PPP 4.PNG
Again, teenage boys don't read fanfic. They'll play tabletop games or videogames, but fanfic is overwhelmingly for women. This author would not have survived the old FFNet forums.
> Not that Viktor is good at cooking but he makes decent edible meals
He can season his pussy but not his food. Makes sense.
> I also want you to feel taken care of
He's talking like he's a CEO of a Fortune 500 company and wants a new trophy wife, not a 16-year-old hockey player.
> His body looks like it was sculpted by some God by hand
This is about a teenage boy.
> His panty are now soaked through
Just use 'underwear'. 'Panties' sounds infantile. Hell I will accept 'knickers'.
Pick me PPP 5.PNG
> Oh baby you're soaking
> His irises blowing wide when he saw a string of transparent slick stretching from his pussy to the panty
> Oh I'm taking that panty
I've seen more drama and passion when LA Beast ate those sugar free Haribo Gummy bears. More agony was heard in his stomach and the connection between his anus and the toilet was more poignant than whatever this is.
> Prepare me to slide inside your wet pussy
Spoken with all the spice of a life guard telling you not to run next to a pool.
> His mouth was full and he was not even half way through Jayce's length
Nothing like bragging about a teenage boy's Coke can cock.
> Fuck my mouth. Don't stop when I gag
How nice of him to respect boundaries.
Pick me PPP 6.PNG
> It's like he knows what he's doing not hitting his throat every time but fast enough to make a pool of slick ruin Jayce's sheets
All this to say Viktor is deepthroating like a pro for the first time.
> He choked on Jayce's cum so far into his mouth it almost went into the wrong hole
Imagine telling that to paramedics: "yeah my trans boyfriend deepthroated me for the first time and aspirated my cum...what do I do now?"
> It's okay you can pull out, right?
> He can't risk getting pregnant
Coitus interruptus is not a guarantee you will not get pregnant. Should've thought about that before you bragged about that 'pretty pink pussy'.
> I think it checks out given your tip is bigger than three of my fingers combined
Because he has uwu smol hands. If we're going off mine (and I have small hands) that's just the average dorsal head.
> He'd be frazzled and shy. He is the one that is frazzled and shy
The floor is made of floor ahh line.
Pick me PPP 7.PNG
> So big and callused it feels addicting
At this rate, you'd think Jayce could solo the 100 gorillas challenge with just his hands.
> It was hard to push another finger given the size of Jayce's fingers
What, are they the size of a zucchini apiece?
> You're still so tight. I don't want you bleeding in our first time
Such a gentleman.
> They begin frotting Jayce's cock against his vagina length
*Vulva. The vagina is on the inside.
> You like us touching tips, Viki?
Frotting requires two cocks. You have a cock and 1/8th of one.
sweet nectar.PNG
> Feeling his pussy flutter around nothing
But did it flutter shyly?
> It was all scrapped when he thrusted full length inside his tip kissing Viktor's cervix
And no screaming? Damn, that cervix must be made of steel.
>Now faster stretching him and touching every crevice with his cock
I've seen people vacuum dirty carpets that have been more erotic.
> He felt something wet gushing between his legs
Nothing like the classic 'virgin who gets a big dick for the first time squirts' cliché.
sweet nectar 2.PNG
> Coming all over his vulva and stomach. So much cum like he didn't just spill two times
Teenage boys and their legendarily short refractory periods. Also, that semen can still get inside your vagina.
> Sucking his little cock
> It's smaller than his pinky nail
Lmao. Comparing a cervix kisser to that is like night and day.
sweet nectar 3.PNG
> I can't call him I'm scared
Scared of him finding out you had sex...or that you're pretending you're a boy? If he's fine with your gender identity, why would he be mad at you having sex with a committed boyfriend?
sweet nectar 4.PNG
> Being with you feels like the universe revolves around us
Sounds very 💖HETEROSEXUAL💖

Yeah, this chapter wasn't needed. Also kinda weird to commission fanart of a smut scene between two teenagers, just sayin'.

tigercristabel has decided to flex her creative wings and write about faeries this time. This will (hopefully) not be as long as her ABO fic, but we'll see how long these chapters are.
practical magic.PNG
> Frantic demands of academia
> It still gave him plenty of time for his own pursuits
This is a contradictory statement. If he is under the frantic demands of academia, time is short. This is beta-read by the same person who did the full-length fic. Looks like the same mistakes are there.
> His desire for the illegal and dangerous which continued to plague both his waking and resting thoughts
You already wrote that a paragraph prior.
> He didn't know much about spider's eating habits
> Quicker than the slow starvation of being unable to fly
Spiders wrap their prey in their webs so they can suck the juices out of them until they are a husk. It's not a quick death, either. You're basically drunk like a smoothie while stuck on a material that you physically cannot get out of.
practical magic 2.PNG
> Whether it was pure empathy for the butterfly, now in the midst of a frenzied panic as the spider made her way towards her prey
I like how we know what sex a spider is, but we are going to bend ourselves backwards respecting the gender of a butterfly.
> Instead, he looked at the deep blue he almost wanted to compare to the stone adorning his wrist; at the iridescent gossamer; at the rune-like shapes
Semicolons are your friend.
practical magic 3.PNG
> Pasta dish that had tasted quite nice on the first night, less so on the fifth
You're about to become a chubbyemu episode, my friend.
> There was a person in his bed. Naked.
Should've hired me as your beta.
practical magic 4.PNG
> Hey, hey, are you ok?
Two Brits writing this and proofreading this and they still can't learn that you spell it as 'OK', 'O.K.' or 'okay'. You invented the term, you moppet.
> Whether it would be appropriate to touch, now that their previous spooning session had ended
Commas are your friend.
> He was pretty sure his hand spanned the entirety of his back
Oh we're going full yeti puncher hands here.
> The man was beautiful. The kind of beauty that belong in a museum
> Soft, pale skin dappled in the sunlight and a smattering of moles
> Framed a masterpiece of a face, with crowning jewels of warm amber
Literally your Aryan Woman in a Wheat Field archetype. You gonna talk about that white, pale, alabaster, moon-white, creamy, white, brilliant, white, swan-neck skin?
practical magic 5.PNG
> I'm your wife
> His new husband
Pick one.
>I rescue a butterfly, who is actually a man
'Actually' is doing a LOT of heavy lifting. Why would an actual man call himself your 'wife'? That is a term reserved for women.
> Although I was always a man
Another sentence doing a lot of heavy lifting. You were 'always' a man, but you conveniently had a vagina, because faeries have a binary sex system that allows one to change sex but male faeries can have vaginas...yeah I'm gonna need a fact check on that.
practical magic 6.PNG
> Almost tangible with how strongly bound they were
> Immediately calls the marriage a trap that he is bound to for decades and fearful of
Bitch is going full BPD in her own writing, amazin'.
> Not that magic wasn't fair, but it was to a fault
Contradictory statement.
> A marriage is an oath, and oaths are unbreakable when a fae makes them
Is it unbreakable under some Latino domestic violence?
practical magic 7.PNG
> He couldn't help himself, he had to know if the other man was bluffing with the supposed lack of knowledge, or was toying with him, or leading him into a trap
He saved a butterfly that magically turned into a trans fairy and said he was his trans wife/husband and is now eternally bound to him. I'd be wondering what the fuck is happening, too.
> Please don't tell me that all mages are into freaky sex orgies?
> Tries to say no, but ends up admitting that faeries are pure energy and mages need them for sex batteries in their BDSM harem
Logic.
> All beings have an innate magical composure, some more than others
So what you are telling me is that fairies abide by a Bell Curve and some are more gifted than others? Sounds awfully...hereditarian.
> Given the need to answer the question and placate and soothe his husband's rage
Very masc, trying to soothe a raging male because you know he can hurt you and you can't fight back. Who knew there was a market for fae domestic violence?
practical magic 8.PNG
> Sadly, his husband was a cruel man, it seemed
This characterization is all over the place. Tigercristabel CANNOT write these characters to save her life.
> Higher order fae tend to have family
> Says that fairies are not born, but made
> Admits that they are born in shit/waste/rotting things and yet are beautiful sex goddesses who rope in mortal men
> Admits that they are born into adulthood yet have the mentality of teenagers
A-fuckin'-mazing.
practical magic 9.PNG
> How it wouldn't let him hurt his husband in any way
> Was just scared of his husband's rage a few sentences ago
> Offers his new hubby his pussy to distract him
Man I love how this is fucking going. He doesn't want to get pregnant, you say? Weird thing to type if he was 'always a man'!
me was born this way.PNG
> My leg is defective
> Doesn't like the work, but says it is 'appropriate for a bride'
Makes you wonder how he is able to fly in butterfly form, or whether his disability is magically cured in that form. If so, that's funny.
> What awful things this man was planning to extract back the value
??? What does this mean?
> This body had always been that way
" Me was born this way"
> Now though, with the state of his wing and a husband to care for , he knew he was treading the line towards becoming a burden
I'll say. You mean to tell me that their magic, said to be pure, can't fix his 'defects'? That defective fairies are allowed to breed with humans to create defective half-breeds? I'd love to see how this works.
me was born this way 2.PNG
> Whether it was different to the horror stories told by his kin
Keep an eye on this sentence, because this author is so retarded she ends up retconning it in a few paragraphs.
> You really don't like wearing pants, do you?
He just likes being naked and frolic in the field with the deer and the bees. Real tradwife shit.
me was born this way 3.PNG
> Perhaps he was being naïve, stupid even, the main character in (the) latest fairy horror tale
> Any fairy could end up a bride, most did eventually
> Most even enjoyed it, apart from the lack of freedom it entailed
You can't write that it's an outright horror show to the point faeries dread being wedded off to saying it's not so bad a few paragraphs later all because they might like sucking cock. It's a contradictory line of reasoning and this author has no internal logic whatsoever.
> In was
*It was. This was beta-read.
me was born this way 4.PNG
Oh nice, it's based on Welsh mythology. I can't wait for these faeries born from shit to baby trap a man after they call themselves their wife/husband/whatever we decide on for the day. It looks like she has never learned how to use the word 'cane' and still ends up shitting on the disabled character by calling him 'defective' and stresses that his only worth is to be a hole and to carry babies. They just keep revealing themselves with every line they write. Keep at it.
 
Two Brits writing this and proofreading this and they still can't learn that you spell it as 'OK', 'O.K.' or 'okay'. You invented the term, you moppet.
In fact, "OK" is yet another example of the global reach of American culture (archive).

So what these two are doing with their erotica is a xenophobic microaggression. Be better.
 
Who doesn't love some dirty sex talk over the phone and whacking your head on a headboard so hard you could give yourself a concussion?
what're you wearing.PNG
> Starting with the fact that sex is, contrary to previous belief, fun
"I hated sex until I found a guy who worked my clit" cliché.
> Threw his head so far back it hit his headboard with an echo
Imagine giving yourself a concussion because that dicking down was so good. Real 'Sex Sent Me to the ER' material.
what're you wearing 2.PNG
> Maybe the proper terminology would be cunt drunk
That Latino dick be hitting different frfr. White people don't season they uteruses.
>Yet, for whatever reason, his brain rejects hearing it
"This man enjoys having sex with me yet I refuse to believe he loves me because I totally am the ugly duckling" - wow, this really is a Taylor Swift song. "You belong with me-eeeeeeeeeee"
> Viktor just struggles with being wanted
I wonder if it's because the other 'cis males' who fuck you see you as easy meat vs seeing you as the 'man that you are'. Something tells me it isn't because it's like fucking unseasoned chicken.
what're you wearing 3.PNG
"They smelled like you"
Hopefully they've been washed. You don't want to masturbate in crusty clothes.
what're you wearing 4.PNG
> Seeing E= mc2 on his boyfriend's cock is sexy. Maybe less because of Einstein, though
What, is it because Einstein was a wife-beater and a Zionist? You can't stand seeing a Jew on uncircumcised cock? Oy vey!
> He wants me, Viktor reminds himself. He loves me
Now we have to wait for: "He wants me: Taylor's Version" so we can get the whole scoop.
what're you wearing 5.PNG
what're you wearing 6.PNG
> Obsession with missionary
Sounds awfully 🧁HETEROSEXUAL🧁AND🧁VANILLA🧁
> He's seen television and movies. He's read books
I am so glad you've read all those sexologists and sexual self-help books on how to find your g-spot. I'm so proud of you.
what're you wearing 7.PNG
> Yes, please
Don't you mean, 'Yes, sir?'
> He's drooling onto the sheets already
Great, that pussy is once again drooling like a dog.
what're you wearing 8.PNG
> Viktor can hear the slick sounds of his own ministration
Wi-fi at the hotel must be shit because they can face time this, btw.
what're you wearing 9.PNG
> Jayce is fucking his fist like it's Viktor
Is he 'hammering' the cervix on his fist, yet?
what're you wearing 10.PNG
> The slamming of their headboard against the wall
Imagine getting a TBI from all that. An orgasm ain't worth it if you start getting dementia at 40.
> Can I touch myself
You already are.
> Ignoring the pain in his shoulder from the stretch
It's almost like his arms have a smaller wingspan like those of females and can't even reach his genitalia. I guess his hands are just that small his fingers can't make up for it, eh?
> Hits a spot inside of himself he only thought Jayce could reach
I thought he watched movies, television and read books on the subject? The g-spot isn't that deep. You mean to tell me his fingers are shorter than 2 inches? 🤨
you're a natural.PNG
you're a natural 2.PNG
> Nuttin' but net
?? Imma need a translation.
you're a natural 3.PNG
Thanks, Riley, for your obsession with missionary and giving our resident vagina-owner a concussion from slamming their head into a headboard. We listen and don't judge around here.

Never thought I'd read a fic that described tits so disgustingly, but if you can get over the copious descriptions of sponge-like breasts that belong on a 60-year-old, you can sit back and enjoy this romantic tale of a Latino with nasty breath fucking someone with the body of a Hollow. I do not want pussy juice in my cake, sir. You will be raging more at the sins committed against cake baking than anything else. Lines for this fic include:
- Your cheeks, shoulders, and your titties look like raspberry milk when you’re blushing.
- Your sweet pussy is practically dripping for me, and you thought I would want to stop?
- Now don't hide your pretty pussy from me. Let me see how wet I made you

Here's a helpful image for the sexiness:
skinny infected.PNG
pink, smooth mound.PNG
> His pink, fluffy blanket
> His pink, fluffy slippers
Very masc. We also have pink, fluffy cakes and pink, fluffy pussies! We are breaking down gender roles here.
> The cotton fabric brushed over his smooth mound after his partner asked to shave him
Aww, no Tarzan pubes? Guess we won't have a tumble in the jungle this time around.
pink, smooth mound 2.PNG
> He asked, rubbing Viktor's concave, atrophied thigh
Nothing is sexier than enacting foreplay on the body of someone who came from Bergen-Belsen. He's going to become Hollowed at this rate.
> It reminded him of a cat, the way he lapped at the sweet cream with the tip of it, bobbing his head
*Starved, emaciated cat. I'm not living that 'atrophied leg' comment down. He's supposed to be somewhat healthy here, not dying.
pink, smooth mound 3.PNG
> His voice had the ability to turn his partner's brain into mush with just a few comments
He also has bad breath, so he's only becoming docile because getting hit with that man-breath is like getting hit with pepper spray. Use some Listerine, ese.
> The light-coloured fabric clung to the space between his tiny mounds
He's got no top surgery and the tag is 'naked male', so you 100% know this is a True and Honest Male.
> He whined, feeling his pussy leak, just from being fed whipped cream
Said whipped cream also has the same consistency of his pussy juice because it starts melting and running down that KFC leg.
> Sturdy fingers encircled his thin wrist
He's just uwu so smol.
pink, smooth mound 4.PNG
> Viktor leaned into the touch like a cat
You already wrote that he was like a cat.
> His nipples hardened, as he uncovered his small, lightly sagging tits
Nothing is hotter than reading how an individual suffering muscle atrophy also has the tits of a 60-year-old woman.
> Naked like an unwrapped piece of candy
With floppy tits like a shrunken Twix bar.
> Each time Viktor's leg went into spasm, he gasped, and watched his soft tits swaying
Nothing like an atrophied leg twitching like a dying animal, to floppy tits more deflated than a wet, expired raspberry. You really are fucking a corpse.
> Grabbing his small ankle
He might have floppy pancake tits, but look at those tiny joints! He's like a rubber chicken!
pink, smooth mound 5.PNG
> Touched his small foot, sticky with sweet, white cream dripping down his knees
This assumes the kitchen is so hot it's making the whipped cream melt and drip down his legs, when whipped cream is meant to be firm (especially if it's homemade and somewhat thick). He must've cheapened out and bought the Great Value brand that can melt if you so much as blow on it.
> Your cheeks, shoulders, and your titties look like raspberry milk when you're blushing
I don't know about you, but if someone said my tits look like raspberry milk, I would assume they are insulting me. It implies they're red and watery - and this author DID write his tits being floppy and old-looking - instead of just saying, 'they're red like a raspberry'.
> His breath, usually musky and strong, now tasted like sugar
He's saying your alpha male breath stinks and you need to brush your teeth. I am guessing he doesn't because the toothbrush is just too phallic-looking?
> Stroking his dripping pussy
He's on the same countertop that the cake was made on, btw. His 'dripping pussy' is soaking up that flower like he's a sugar cookie.
> The small curve of his protruding hipbone, descending onto his thigh and moving it a bit to expose his smooth-shaven pussy
Least you don't have to worry about pubes getting into the batter, eh?
pink, smooth mound 6.PNG
> Your sweet pussy is practically dripping for me, and you thought I would want to stop?
This is a real line.
> As the other put a layer of whipped cream on both of his tits and protruding collarbone
> His other hand pinched his tit between his two fingers
> Twitching from the creamy confectionery on his tits
Every time I read about his floppy, ugly tits, I think of a wet taco being squeezed. This author wanted to make this sound sexy and all she did was write about an escapade about a guy with nasty breath fucking a corpse in the kitchen.
> Softness on Viktor's tiny waist. He could envelop half his body with it
Yes, the author uses the 'his waist was so small his thumbs met in the middle'.
> Surface under him has become slippery
*THE surface under him became slippery
> His small, pointy shoulder
You are going to need a drink based on how many times this author writes Viktor as being small. We get it: he's uwu so smol, so tiny, he's like a doll compared to Stinky Breath Latino over here.
> His pale skin
> His cream-coloured mound
We know he's white, thanks. It's like fucking raw chicken over here.
> Brushed the delicate skin of his areolas
That resemble that of a 60-year-old woman, btw. Wrinkly, dry, and tits so floppy and ugly you can squeeze them like a yogurt tube. Eugh.
pink, smooth mound 7.PNG
> Now don't hide your pretty pussy from me. Let me see how wet I made you
This is a real line.
> Air stroked his tender, wet clit
This is the second time air has been described as 'stroking' his vulva.
> His small lips
He's just uwu so smol.
> He was the cutest thing Jayce ever saw
And every description leads to an image of uncooked, raw chicken sitting in the sink.
> He had a demure lab partner with a sharp mind and gentle voice...he indulged in making his his brilliant partner into this sweet, obedient thing
Nothing like making the pooner with a 60-year-old body into your bang maid, eh? These people really don't seem to understand that Viktor, not Jayce, is the one who wanted to break into the lab and experiment with blowing things up. He is the farthest thing from demure. Describing the token trans interpretation as 'adorably thoughtless' just means you see pooners as dumb holes to fuck - which is rather fitting in the grand scheme of things.
uwu so smol.PNG
> Through the waves of his peeking ribcage, onto his small tummy
Take another drink. He's just an itsy bitsy doll.
> His milky skin
We know he's white, thank you.
> Jayce's hands encircled his waist. His fingers touched in the middle on both sides
Get another fucking line, retard.
> He was amazed at how small his partner looked next to him, how pretty he was looking up at him, how little he weighted
*Weighed. Yes, when your uwu so smol partner is barely 5'0 and under 100 lbs, carrying a bag of groceries would be more difficult than carrying your itsy bitsy trans man.
> he ate around his nipple, to leave the small nub for the end
Makes me think he's eating a wet scone, with his nipple like the old leather of a couch.
uwu so smol 2.PNG
> That usually had the color of strawberry milk
This is the second time his nipples have been compared to milk. It's weird, bro. It's making me think he has strawberry Poptart tits.
> Unless my Viki forgot how to use his brain?
"Aren't you a little retard, my raspberry-tittied doll? You're so dumb. Look at you and your red pussy dripping everywhere. You're like a dumb strawberry shortcake."
> Pale face was painted in the prettiest shade of pink. He was so pretty now
Redundant.
> His smooth pussy became the color of raspberry without even being touched
Here we go again.
> Made his brain leak out of him like juice from a fruit
Haha he's just an uwu dumb bimbo, get it? He can't do nothing but gush out of both ends because the sex is sooooo good.
uwu so smol 3.PNG
> The air was drizzled with the vanilla scent of his wetness, making Jayce salivate
So his pussy juice smells like vanilla, got it. At this rate you might as well sell it and make a fortune.
> Drizzled petals
We really need to get over comparing the vulva to a flower. It's stupid and childish. No, you are not a pretty, dainty flower: your genitalia is getting covered with flower and shitty whipped cream and it's going to itch once it gets in there.
> After licking the mix of his vanilla-milk slick
Keep at it and you might have an icing brand that'll put Gwyneth Paltrow out of business.
> I barely licked you yet
You just did.
uwu so smol 4.PNG
> His slick became sweeter and more intoxicating with each second
Who needs icing when you can just top the cake with that?
> His Viktor was made of ambrosia
And he also has floppy, wrinkly tits like a Peek Frean.
> He squealed, until his throat was too sore to make more noises
I didn't need to think of a baby seal getting clubbed.
> His ribs moved under the pale skin (with) every drop of his chest, his swollen tits expanded each rise
Ah-ah, that's not how you described them. At first, you wrote him having 'small' breasts, then you moved to 'lightly sagging'. Then you have them being squeezed with two fingers like they're mini water balloons. You can't even remain consistent with his tit size in a fic you wrote.
> Until he found the peachy bumps of his g-spot
How nice of him to have a cow tongue on top of having nasty breath. I usually read the g-spot as being 'spongy', but not 'peachy'.
> He gushed his warm juices on Jayce's face
Looks like his brain finally came out the other end, eh?
> Wrapped his hand around his thin wrist
He's just uwu so smol.
uwu so smol 5.PNG
> Narcotizing
Damn, did someone call the DEA?
> His lips moved to the mole on his exposed larynx
The larynx is inside the throat. This makes it seem as if he flayed his swan-neck to expose it to his 'musky' breath.
> His delicate body writhed in his hold
Yes, our itsy bitsy babydoll with a waist so small your thumbs meet in the middle who is lighter than a Prada bag is just so light and soft and smol and pale and white and air-headed.
> His chestnut hair, like a meadow of pendants
??? This doesn't even make sense.
> His partner looked like a from baroque painting
She either meant, 'he looked like a baroque painting' or 'he looked like he was from a baroque painting'. In any case, he looks less like a saint pierced by a divine arrow than one of those corpses depicted crawling from the depths of hell.
uwu so smol 6.PNG
> I doubt your little body can handle one more time
Yeah, it's just so fragile and smol that you could probably shove him in a cake pan and bake him.
> Both of his hands moved down to touch his small, soft butt
What butt? He doesn't have one.
> His creamy mouth
We know he's white, thanks, and it sounds like you're talking about the INSIDE of his mouth, not the outside.
> It was left gaping, fluttering around the space left by his finger
But was it fluttering shyly?
> His cheeks heated to a deeper shade of pink
But does it still resemble raspberry milk?
> The smells joined the lingering scent of Viktor's pleasure
I wonder what recipe Jayce is using, because you normally don't layer a cake with whipped cream while putting it in the oven. You put the whipped cream on after. What this dumbass wrote was him putting whipped cream on raw cake mix which will only remain as cream until the intense heat, vs making the cream afterwards. Great, now I am sperging about cake baking vs talking about raspberry floppy tits. Not only that, he was using the cream meant for the take for sexual foreplay, and intended to use the spatula that has Viktor's saliva on it to decorate the cake. My inner Gordon Ramsay is raging. You are fucking a Hollowed on a kitchen counter and you wasted the whipped cream for that? Fucking blasphemy. Get those raspberry, 60-year-old sagging tits outta here. No idea what the author was thinking using these descriptions but they suck like floppy raspberry tits!

In the same vein of pink themes and food metaphors, 'Everyone has AIDS' nakura has introduced an entry for a sub bottom Valentine's week( as if we need any more of those). This time, a prince is trying to learn the intricacies of magic, and his sexy knight-in-shining-armor won't allow it. He needs to shove his blade into a different sort of scabbard.
precious prince.PNG
> Their precious prince
> Was a young boy when he met his future love interest
Well at least he isn't actually a boy here. Now I have to wonder how this inheritance system works, because if pooners can become kings and yet are still expected to gestate children, what's the point of differentiating between a king and a queen? You can literally just identify as whatever you want.
precious prince 2.PNG
> Looked like a maiden in a painting like this
See, you want me to think this is a man and a True and Honest King, yet you use terms like 'maiden'. That is reserved for young women. You cannot remain consistent even in your own lie.
> So large against his thinness
There're the yeti puncher hands.
> It was always a pleasure to see the difference between the two
I wonder why. It's almost as if sexual dimorphism is kinda hot.
> Squeezing his neck as he did in bed
Mmm, yes, nothing like giving a royal suffering a fever some brain damage because you decided to choke him a little.
precious prince 3.PNG
> Bring hot water and wine for the prince
That is NOT what you want to do for a fever, and Viktor should know better than that. Alcohol will only suppress immune function and prolong the illness, and you do not want to pass out drunk in a hot bath. You aren't even SUPPOSED to have a hot bath during a fever - you need it to be lukewarm to bring down core body temperature while also being warm enough to hold back the shivers that come after. Needs to be 40 C max.
> Vice-commander
So he's a Knight Commander of some military order that finds out that the royal house was raided three times despite going out into the field to prevent an invading army from raiding the very house he's meant to protect. Logic. Now, hiring a Knight to teach is stretching it, but whatever. The fact the royal house got sacked does make me laugh because who the fuck didn't think to leave a defensive army behind? Where are the spies, loyalists, etc? You don't even have any Assassins? Ezio Auditore is rolling his eyes at the entire affair.
> The women left, and Jayce helped the man undress
Notice how it's women doing it and not other men. Women help undress other women; if you wanted to be realistic, you'd have serving boys do it. Nice little slip she didn't catch.
precious prince 4.PNG
> Roundness of his sunken navel so clear
Mm yes, I love it when my love interest looks like a hollowed-out corpse. Next thing you'll be telling me is that he's off to fight Slave Knight Gael for the Dark Soul.
> If he was really sleeping with his bodyguard...how could they prove it?
He says, while also being expected to procreate and sire children. I assume they don't do virginity tests here because if that hymen is broken they're gonna know Mr. Sexy Knight here was dipping his sword in the wrong scabbard.
precious prince 5.PNG
> But in a more fleshy and pure way
Yeah because it'd be weird if he started tasting like an orange, right?
> Wait until the water cools down a bit. You still have a fever
He was going into a hot bath drunk. Did you really think that was going to improve anything?
> Divine, delicate, precious
You just wrote that Jayce was the 'only one' who didn't seem him as delicate/fragile. What's this, then?
> Would hardly be able to guess at all the knowledge kept in his head
Weird that people would think that even though he's a man. They are clearly not focusing on his disability.
precious prince 6.PNG
> Viktor was studying magic, and the notes were incantations he was practicing
> It certainly wasn't the only time Jayce had confirmation of the transgression
The first line makes me think this is Jayce's first time discovering he is studying magic, while the second shows he knows he's been doing this for a while. The fact he's also more concerned about Viktor procreating when chances are he physically cannot aren't addressed either. Peak storytelling.
precious prince 7.PNG
> The prince had been lost since the moment both he and the knight were born
> Destined for each other
There's a ten-year gap between them. This makes it seem as if they were 'destined' to be together since they were fetuses - and I guess that really IS the intent.
> Jayce was enough to be between his lips
Well I guess that's one way to get your protein intake, eh?
> How much should I allow you to drink until the fever subsides?
None? Because alcohol makes a fever work? What's funny is that the author does inject some old-style remedies but can't use the ones they used for fever. How hard is it to make fresh tea with herbs that can actually help?
> Drunk with phlegm
Bad idea to sit on your back if all that fluid is building in your lungs. But I guess a good deepthroat can act like a plunger and get that out.
precious prince 8.PNG
> Little did she know how much Jayce wanted to devour him
I'm sure she knows because she and the rest have to clean the sheets. I bet you Viktor's uncle knows, too.
> The mountain of pleasure between his waist and legs
> He checked his temperature with his fingers between his legs
Probably the only accurate thing so far: you can actually check your body temperature by putting a thermometer up there. Better than shoving it up your ass, I'll say!
precious prince 9.PNG
> The dark-haired, brown-faced, square-nosed man with shapely arms and skillful hands
He either looks like a caveman or someone designed his face in Minecraft.
> It is slightly acidic and refreshing, sweet like a soft body in bed, like the throbbing pussy between his legs
So his tea tastes like his pussy? OK, then.
> His beard was impregnated with his scent. Some hairs, at that point, had even discoloured
If it looks like you smothered an octopus in your beard and you are nowhere near a body of water, I dare say everyone knows that you are eating the prince's pussy that just so happens to taste like his tea. Fun!
expert anal virgin.PNG
> Too sensible to take his virginity completely
I regret to inform you that that hymen is well and truly broken after all that Highland cow tongue and finger action. You could've pierced the walls of Gondor at this point.
> Feeling the tongue in his ass as well
Forget the fever: your precious prince is going to be walking around with an STD very soon.
> Once they were alone, the dynamics changed
Do they? You wrote that everyone already saw Viktor as fragile and weak. He is still being seen as fragile and weak because he is automatically assigned the 'lie on your back and take it' position.
> Kill kingdoms for him, if he had to
The funny thing about that - he already did! The royal house was attacked three times when he was away - because he never thought to leave a garrison behind - and that only left dear Viktor here as the sole heir to the kingdom. What should have been a successional crisis was instead rewritten as something cosmically ordained. A colossal SNAFU ended up with a hot knight's tongue up your ass - what's not to like?
> Didn't even want to think about the possibility of giving up his virginity
Alas, he does not have the parts to pass off the 'I never had sex' argument flawlessly. That dreaded hymen is in the way, showing that no matter which way he identifies, his vaginal purity and ability to procreate is wholly determinant on his true sex. He's even described as a 'maiden' and even a 'princess', which shows how seriously this author takes the damn affair.
expert anal virgin 2.PNG
> He had him every time, no matter how many months passed
Let me guess: his dick hangs down to his knees and is nearly as big as his sword, that's why our man gets Looney Tunes eyes whenever he looks at it.
> Fill it with his seed, make the mass of both of them swell inside Viktor
I'm having a hard time parsing this sentence. Does she mean that he will produce enough semen to 'mimic his mass' inside Viktor? What does 'both of them' mean here? That he produces enough semen to equal two grown human beings? You wouldn't have to worry about the logistics of being Pregnant While Your Spine is Disintegrating when you've got a water bed swimming around in your ass.
> His ass was good, too. Fantastic. It hurt more for Viktor, but he never complained, and always demanded more, even when there was no more room
This implies that Jayce's dick is so big he can't get it in all the way, and that there's a social expectation for Viktor not to complain. I wonder why that is. He's a man (allegedly) and a prince - why can't he ask for more lube? Is there a specific reason why he's not vocal during sex? 🤔
> He certainly fucked like a knight, brutal and strong
Sexual dimorphism stays winning.
expert anal virgin 3.PNG
> He was the prince and Viktor his princess
We're not even trying anymore, lmao. They always have to make the FTM 'demure', shy, quiet and obedient who naturally serves the feminine role while the 'cis' man gets to always stay on top. This is all coming from the group that wants to 'explore and abolish' gender roles while writing strict gender roles that'll make a LDS church blush. Why are you writing a True and Honest Man as a 'princess', nakura, unless you don't actually think the character is a real male? 🤔
> Hibiscus tea, sweet bread, olive oil, eggs, fresh oranges. Sugar, honey, molasses. Viktor was so delicious
Damn, his pussy tastes like all that? No wonder he's so thin - all that metabolism is going to his downstairs!
> Once again licking from his ass - cleaning the part of himself that had come out - to his pussy
His doctors are going to wonder what those strange cold sores are on his labia and his mouth, and write it down as a 'prince's poison' as it seemingly only affects royals.
> Sucking the lips as if they were caramel syrup
They've gone from hibiscus tea, to olive oil and oranges to syrup. My man's snatch is like a breakfast buffet.
> Thrust his fingers into the opening still marked with the width that he, Jayce Talis, had inflicted on Viktor Reveck
Which one?
expert anal virgin 4.PNG
> It seemed like they were so close that they became one
They're gonna share some HPV sores soon enough. They're going to have to wear masks in public like Cesare Borgia did after he contracted syphilis. But I guess you will have all that semen and magic to make it better, eh?
expert anal virgin 5.PNG
Not getting over how this man-and-a-half is an orphan because his dear knight was sent off to fight a war and didn't think to leave some underlings behind to protect the royal family only to learn they were all massacred 😅 That is on top of the idea that this man is learning magic, but that it'll hurt his body, yet is expected to gestate a child that will also - get this - hurt his body. But don't you mind that. Read that anal tonguing action and prepare for a week's worth of sub bottom content for a character already drowning in it.

The Bridgerton AU has come out with a fifth chapter.
We ended the last chapter with our dear lovers getting hot and bothered in a hallway before they were caught by a drunken Hoskel. In a Cardinal Richelieu plot, they lay out their dastardly deeds like they're the Frowning Friends:
dirty deeds.PNG
> The room was somewhat cold, the wind blew even though the windows were closed
Do you mean that you can hear the wind through the windows, or that the windows are damaged? It's funny how they have to go out to the boonies in a run-down-but-not-so-run-down place to talk about their dastardly deeds instead of just hosting it in one of their mansion's basements.
> You don't need the signatures of all three princes
Ah, we've gone back to referring to the heirs of Zaun as 'princes', even though we called the two female members 'princesses'. You can just use 'heirs' and everyone will know what you're talking about.
> Even with their masks on, it was obvious it was them
No shit. Viktor was the only one in the entire ball with the cane; said cane is the most signature feature about him. There was no point of him wearing a disguise because even a blind person would be able to tell it was him.
dirty deeds 2.PNG
> Her hair was fluffy, with long strands falling down to her waist
If she is a maid, she would not be allowed to walk around with her hair down like that. It would be tied up.
> We must ensure that the signing of the treaty is postponed until the very end and put pressure on the Zaunites
What for, you might ask? For their dastardly deeds, of course! One can only assume with background details that they want the natural resources and to annex it properly, and that pressuring the 'princes of Zaun' to their whims will give them what they want in writing as well as legality. One must wonder why that isn't already being done via economic pressure or militarily, as the entire union is meant to seamlessly blend the two cities together. Have they considered using tariffs, yet?
dirty deeds 3.PNG
> I just followed the trail of a man confessing
Le gasp! Will we figure out who Lady Masemar the Impaler truly is?!
> Uncover Masemar for God only knew (knows) what purpose
You DO know, though. She has gossip and details on every leading family in Piltover and has criticized their behaviour. You said it just a few paragraphs ago. The fuck you mean you don't know why you want to take her out?
> If Caitlyn discovered her before they did, they would lose a key piece of their strategy
AKA they want to use Lady Masemar as leverage so she can snitch for them. Caitlyn ruins that because she would meet Lady Masemar as an equal and would uncover more than she can chew. These Frowning Friends don't want that.
dirty deeds 4.PNG
> It was necessary to do whatever it took, even if that included playing dirty
...You ARE playing dirty, you fucking idiot. What do you think going out into the middle of nowhere to have your Eyes Wide Shut meeting means?
> You'll even have the favor of the new monarch to be the next Pope
That's not how ecclesiastical votes work. The cardinals have to vote on a Pope; monarchs have no say in it as Popes are seen as the voice of God on Earth in the Catholic faith. But even if there is no Catholicism here, Pontiffs can have a say in who becomes a monarch, not the other way around.
> I could return with four or five wives
This makes the implication that Zaunites are so sexually libertine that they allow polygamy/polyamory, when there's no evidence to suggest this at all. This author is making them out to be spiritual Muslims being taken advantage of by corrupt Christians (and a few Jew-coded characters). I see what you're doing, dear author.
> Persian buttercups
I see someone has been paying attention - somewhat.

Meanwhile, Viktor is staring out the window thinking of the big beautiful bouquet of roses he got, and finally says that he 'thinks' the Viscount is courting him. The sisters feign surprise and casually remark that the man who sends him flowers that mean love and devotion is the most obvious sign he's in love with him next to broadcasting it on a billboard. Viktor laughs because it does indeed sound stupid to say out loud, and has a moment of self-deprecation because how could a Viscount like him love a crippled prince? None of the other children played with him as a kid and he couldn't play with swords, so Vi had to be the one to protect her siblings. She tells him that Jayce is 'different' and the 'gentleman of his dreams' who sends him bouquets with 'mysterious notes'. Viktor once again has the cliched thought of, 'Oh I'm so unworthy of male affection and love' because while men show interest at first, they leave once they find out he has a bum leg even though that's blatantly obvious from the get-go. Methinks that free pussy doth protest too much.

This is all taking place during a game of chess between Powder and Vi, and Vi ends up winning, much to Powder's surprise. She insists she will be taking care of the kingdom when Viktor is king and that Jayce will be a good 'king consort'. During this conversation, there's a bit of a twist: no one has been answering their letters. Viktor's excuse is that he hasn't sent Silco any in a while - over two months, in fact - and he conveniently has forgotten his Hermes pen. This is meant to show that not everything is going well at home and that everyone is probably dead, but I might be spoiling it. Who knows? We might get another twist.

We head to an art gallery exhibition. This scene is probably based on the V&A museum or the British museum. There are portraits of a woman who is clearly based on Empress Sisi, and as we find out, it's actually Councilor Shoola's late wife. She continues to usurp the role and position Mel has, as Mel was the one who was a patron of the arts, but we can't have her in our 'yaoi' so we have to do with Black Woman #2 instead. In any case, Jayce and his mother have arrived, and Ximena is crying her eyes out at the display. Meanwhile, Salo and Bolbok confront Viktor, asking him if he enjoys the exhibition. This is obviously a ploy to get them into his space and force him to do what they want. They clearly want the treaty to be signed, but Vi - who uses 'y'all', a term not used by any noble - says that they would sign it if they respected Zaun's sovereignty. When things don't go the way they want, they drop the subject and start talking about art.

The exhibition is to show Shoola's new art piece to her deceased wife - who has been dead for seven years (and I bet the twist is she's actually alive and somehow Lady Masemar, but there are other options) - and while the air is somber, everyone is ready and excited to see the new piece. Jayce is in the crowd and wants to get closer to Viktor, yet he is interrupted by a baronet, a 'Lady Knightley' (clearly a reference to Keira Knightley and her Duchess of Devonshire role). She shoves her daughter in front of him in order to distract him with noble pussy, but he mentions Viktor as a matter of policy because evoking his name is like uttering a curse: no one wants to hear it, and they back off. When Jayce finally gets the rich girl to go away, he finds Viktor (his Viktor, he stresses) talking to Dmitri Tepes, a clear reference to Vlad Tepes.

Shoola unveils the painting and it is her with her late wife - we find out her name is Camille - posing together in a semi-erotic, semi-intimate embrace that evokes Frida Kahlo. Viktor, by contrast, can only think about Jayce and how warm he'd feel while he kisses him. He wants to be 'granted the pleasure of tasting the elixir of his lips' but Dmitri interrupts and wants to talk about Thomas Gainsborough. Jayce is behind him and is unamused, because don't you know that HE is the one for our dear, crippled, undercooked chicken breast here? Dmitri, sensing his jealousy (and Viktor immediately wanted to leverage said jealousy against him, lmao) says he just wants to get to know Viktor, and Jayce interrupts by saying Viktor doesn't want to know him at all and never enjoyed any of his conversations.
dirty deeds 6.PNG
> He's already seen me, why should I care so much if he sees me now?
Sounds like you're hot and bothered and need to fix up that hair so he can muss it up later.
> Did the Duke of Goldway do something to bother you?
He's got a ponytail and he's white, that's the problem. If he looked like Ludwig the Holy Blade and his 6'6 glory Jayce would not be starting shit.
dirty deeds 7.PNG
> I have no idea if he received it or if he has even considered sending the opal sample
1. You legit forgot to send him letters. 2. You forgot your magical Hermes pen. This is literally a problem YOU created, dumbass.
> I still think melting it with the metal before forging the cylinder would be best
Reminder that opal has poor conductivity and they think - read: the author thinks because she did no research - that it can be used to harness massive electrical and physical energy to create portals that breaks/bends quantum physics. Opal is mainly used as a fertilizer or communications. They can be used in nanotechnology to manipulate light and be used as flexible semiconductors, but that's not what they're being used for. I don't even think the author knows what a 'semiconductor' is.
dirty deeds 8.PNG
> It can't enter the water because the air current is too strong and the water flow is going in the opposite direction
Oh, I get it: swans mate for life, and these two can't be together due to physical forces keeping them apart. No matter which way the current is going, that bird can land, and the water will push one or the other towards each other. Or they can just, you know, go on land, but whatever. Birds can break physics.
dirty deeds 9.PNG
> Her death was strange and too quick
> They thought she was Lady Masemar (lmao I called it)
> Their carriage was looted by bandits despite having no armed guards and was set on fire near a ravine that had the other victims fall to their deaths
Huh, I wonder who could've been responsible for her death. Such a mystery.
dirty deeds 10.PNG
> He stood between the wall and the man who kept him awake at night
> He was almost certain he could partially resist him
Oh but those muscles and that big ole dick hiding in those breeches are making your breeches all sticky and wet, eh? You hear the call of evolution and reproduction and want to get a good lay by a physically fit male specimen.
> You could ruin me if you keep looking at me like that
Too late.
> He could have surrendered to Jayce's gaze, which undressed him with the same stealth as the first night they met
> Stealth
> It's obvious to anyone looking they want to fuck
Yeah, OK.
awakening manhood.PNG
> He pressed him harder against the wall
If you think they're going to fuck in a very metaphorically-appropriate art gallery filled with erotic paintings and swans, you'd going to be sorely disappointed. Enjoy this tease instead.
> Would be able to feel everything about him against his stomach
Literally. I bet his 'awakening manhood' goes past his navel.
awakening manhood 2.PNG
> He did it to camouflage and pretend to be a passionate couple
That fooled no one, BTW, because everyone knows Viktor is the only one with a cane there. Jayce is also one of the few men who is over six feet in height; nothing they did was ever going to trick people. They're both the most recognizable people around.
> I didn't come to Piltover expecting to find someone, and yet you appeared, and you're the reason I can't sleep at night
"I came here for politics, but that dick sounds pretty good, too."
awakening manhood 3.PNG
Look at that. She has a LE GASP moment next to her late wife's erotic paintings! Look at the metaphors, they're hitting like opals being excellent electrical conductors!
awakening manhood 4.PNG
> Their cheeks were extremely flushed
> Both of them, their cheeks extremely flushed
Redundant.
> A silent declaration
That's not a silent declaration, lmao.
awakening manhood 5.PNG
> Vi, I can't run
But he's expected to dance, right? He can dance but he can't run?
> We knew it, we all knew it
I love how Powder wasn't there one moment and teleported there like a Skyrim NPC.
awakening manhood 6.PNG
> You have a beauty that takes my breath away
He has an illness that is going to take his breath away LMAO
> Viktor waited for Jayce to make his move
Why wait? I thought as a True and Honest Man, you'd be the one pursuing him. Why are you expecting him to court YOU like a fair maiden? You've got a higher position of authority than he does!
> He didn't want to be so direct, even though he was dying inside to do so and tell Jayce that he needed to see him
You can? Make a letter out of a super secret code and have him solve it. Turn Lady Masemar into the Da Vinci Code. Why are you expecting a man to do all the work?
awakening manhood 7.PNG
Damn, we've got Seal's "Kiss from a Rose" and 'Baby Don't Hurt Me' as part of this unofficial soundtrack. Keep going and we can add Richard Cheese's cover of 'My Crack' to the list.

In fact, "OK" is yet another example of the global reach of American culture (archive).

So what these two are doing with their erotica is a xenophobic microaggression. Be better.
Indeed - and depending on who you ask, it was either an abbreviation of the Scottish 'och, aye' or the Choctaw 'okeh'.
origins of OK.PNG
origins of OK 2.PNG
origins of OK 3.PNG
It made its way into Victorian lexicon (which is where I found it; can't remember the source but that's where I assumed it came from) and other languages.
 
dioscums has delighted us with a serial killer atticwife AU. You'll be wondering how a guy with a bum leg is climbing a tree more than how he tanked a fist to the face, but don't worry about that - look at the cervical tickling here. Lines for this fic include:
- Imagine me breeding this tight pussy of yours just like this. I think we'd make perfect babies together, don't you? Then, you'll never be able to leave me.
- Because your greedy cunt is practically sucking me in. It's adorable how this cute little thing is begging to get bred.
- Are you that hungry for cock? Want me to put a baby in you right now?
- You were so mouthy earlier, and now that you've got your pussy stuffed with my fingers, you're suddenly going quiet?
- he was being murdered by his stalker's massive cock from how good it was. It split him open, stuffing him so perfectly that his pussy practically convulsed in joy.
- Your pussy's as disobedient as you are, baby. Gotta teach it that I'm not going anywhere

serial killer atticwife.PNG
> Be a pooner
> Try to be a badass serial killer who targets exclusively men
> You still get drugged and are nearly raped on each encounter
The jokes really DO write themselves.
> Viktor ran
> He's actually limping through a forest
Lol. Lmao. He's trying to run away from a physically fit, in-his-prime 6'2 male who's angry and DTF. You are not fighting that beaner unless you have a Border Patrol hat, my dood.
serial killer atticwife 2.PNG
> Professors claiming he was a genius and predicting he would have a great career as a surgeon
You know what they say about surgeons and sociopaths.
> He was impressive on every single front because God loved him so much and made him that way
Meanwhile, God doesn't like trans man and makes sure they are always the ones getting punched in the face and fucked by a 13 inch penis.
serial killer atticwife 3.PNG
> He'd jerk his cock off with his thumb
Funny you mention that; his little 't-dick' is around half the size of his thumb, whereas Jayce's is the size of his entire forearm. A literal horsecock. Of course you are going to be that man's property when he's the one with the cattle rod.
> He hated him so much that he wished Jayce was a truly heinous individual capable of guiltless cruelty
AKA he wishes he was like Epstein so he could hate him, but he's sexy and not Jewish so everything he does is OK. This is 100% goyim approved.
> As straight as an arrow
He's so heterosexual that he kidnapped a vagina owner off the street, makes said vagina squirt, and pounds into that cervix so hard he has to declare to the world he a gold star homosexual instead. No anal play, just vaginal play - because this 'straight as an arrow' boy don't do that downlow shit.
serial killer atticwife 4.PNG
> It was humiliating - Viktor was used to being in control
Pretty ironic coming from someone who routinely gets his drink spiked.
> Men saw him as someone they could drug and kidnap, someone they think would take it lying down if they attempted to overpower and assault him
Weird how they automatically know how easy he is to overpower, disability notwithstanding. Do you think they think to themselves, 'wow, if I do this I am a homosexual?' when they try to rape that pussy? It certainly doesn't sound like you're in control when that happens often enough you can schedule around it.
> He was incapable of feeling pathetic
> Feels pathetic around a sexy Latino who will barrage his cervix like it's the southern border
OK, bud. You keep saying that while your cunt pulses and slick comes out of there like an angry octopus.
serial killer atticwife 5.PNG
> Romanov
Does the Russian royal family need to get fucked over like this again?
> A looker, though that was quite common with medical students
You'll expect Dr. Mike, but you'll just get a bunch of Indians and Alex Prettis instead. Only the WASPy ones are 'hot', and we're pushing it.
> Being only of above average intelligence
Oy vey, you hear that? If you aren't above 120 IQ you are functionally retarded. You have to be 150 IQ or above to be on his level. If you can't recite Gregory Perelman's functions in under five seconds flat I don't wanna hear it.
> His dick isn't bigger than mine
Translation: 'That white dick don't got nothing on this Hispanic Hog.'
serial killer atticwife 6.PNG
> His hand was so large that it would probably be enough to cuff Viktor's legs and pry them open
There're those yeti punchers. Here's a man who could be a star QB at the Superbowl and a tiny-ass, 5'4 pooner who thinks they can take on men like him. The football has a greater chance at survival.
> His dick swelling with blood
And it's still smaller than Jayce's pinky, lmao.
serial killer atticwife 7.PNG
> Refused to submit to a man who had yet to prove himself
> Is already getting wet and ready for a hardcore dicking
Uh huh.
> Jayce hunted like a wolf - all brute strength because it had always been enough
Wolves hunt in packs. They're strategic hunters that are designed to wear down their prey. They have a greater success rate when they do.
> Which meant he fought like a fox
So he pisses everywhere and bites, likely infecting the other with rabies? Makes sense.
> He lifted himself up and braced his legs around the trunk
LMAO. He cannot physically do either. He has no upper body strength and his legs are NOT going to go the way he wants them do. This man's leg issue goes all the way up his spine. Stop making it seem as if he's Spider-Man!
> Jayce was physically superior to him in every single way - a single bite was all it took for wolf to kill a fox
Wolves generally don't target foxes unless they are starving. They will go after coyotes instead - making this relationship more beneficial than most. But you keep on writing that Latino like a mangy dog, you.
serial killer atticwife 8.PNG
> He willed his legs to cooperate
They are not going to work like that because his leg brace is meant to keep the leg as straight as possible. He is not going to climb trees like Connor Kenway.
> His leg brace did not a sharp hair piece that would give him a decent fighting chance
If you're wondering whether this 'decent fighting chance' fails spectacularly, you are correct. This genius really thinks a hair pin - and not even a classic hair pin, he's literally using a sharp comb - is going to find the jugular and kill a 6'2 male. Meanwhile, Chinese concubines can have poison fans and Japanese samurai wives have miniature blades that can slice you to the bone. Get on their level.
serial killer atticwife 9.PNG
> You want me to make you submit
Because every pooner wants to get that cervix smashed so hard that they'll never want to pretend they're a man ever again. They just need a man to slap them across the face and give them a bleeding nose and they're ready to be submissive and breedable.

Also, when I read this, I thought: 'Is he really trying to do an Assassin's Creed move on Jayce'? And sure as shit, he did. This was obvious to everyone that this was NOT going to work because you are dealing with someone barely 100 lbs trying to stab a 6'2, 250 lb man with a dull-ass comb. You're a serial killer; why don't you have a custom-made stiletto? I can just hear the Kenways calling this boy a fucktard from another universe.
serial killer atticwife 10.PNG
> Gets slapped so hard he bleeds and nearly bursts his ear drums
> His 'dick' gets hard instead
> The Latino beast laughs at the entire thing and says that he can be obedient when a man 'knows how to handle you', meaning we know exactly what men are when it's convenient
> Says he cannot control himself around that white pussy
Tale as old as time. Maybe he really does belong in prison.
> Were the both of them even capable of love?
You tell me. This 'straight as an arrow' sociopath-as-doctor is doing all of this for some white pussy. If that isn't a gold star homosexual, I don't know what is.
begging to be bred.PNG
> It made him so inexplicably hot that he couldn't stop himself from squirming and moaning
> There was certainly physical chemistry between them
Oh? The sexy serial killer with a massive dick and a pooner who gets their drinks drugged and is nearly raped on the regular has a tight white pussy that said massive dick owner likes? WOW! No wonder there's so physical chemistry between them; it's like their bodies were made for each other, or something.
> Jayce was huge
Are we talking 10 inches here or the 13 inches he has in that one cowboy fic?
> Imagine me breeding this tight pussy of yours just like this. I think we'd make perfect babies together
Nothing says physical chemistry like using the genitalia nature gave you to continue your genetic lineage.
> You'll never be able to leave me
Allow me to introduce you to alimony and child support laws. Nothing will fuck you harder than the state getting a piece of your wallet.
> Because your greedy cunt is practically sucking me in. It's adorable how this cute little thing is begging to get bred
This is a real line. Nothing like a cunt sucking in dick like it's a Dyson vacuum.
begging to be bred 2.PNG
> Had hours passed?
He deserves a medal for going that long without need a drink or getting lockjaw.
> He'd never admit that he had never come from being eaten out
Oh? Your rapists didn't want you give you oral, so the only one who can make you come and squirt is Mr. 13 inch Hottie over here? You don't fucking say.
> He sucked Viktor's little cock
'Little' indeed. He's little, whereas Jayce is huge. He's gotta spread Latino supremacy somehow.
begging to be bred 3.PNG
> Still no top surgery, huh? Is your budget tight?
> Maybe Jayce operated on a different reality because Viktor couldn't see how this would be pleasurable for Jayce
It's almost as if he doesn't actually see you as a man and is only using male pronouns as a courtesy to get easy pussy. It's almost like he's throwing it in your face that you're just a silly woman who's only good for getting pregnant and popping out light-skinned babies he'll go on to molest.
begging to be bred 4.PNG
> He couldn't understand why it turned him on so much that his pussy was practically clenching around nothing, already begging for Jayce to fuck him
Your biological instincts are screaming after seeing a well-hung male and you want to be bred. All those lectures on how gender doesn't exist and how you are just as much a man as a real man is thrown out the window once confronted with such unabashed, pure masculinity. In short: that pussy likes a big dick and it's gonna get fed.
begging to be bred 5.PNG
> Are you that hungry for cock? Want me to put a baby in you right now?
This is a real line. I also like how this doesn't trigger dysphoria because everything and nothing causes it now.
> You were so mouthy earlier, and now that you've got your puss stuffed with my fingers you're suddenly going quiet?
This is also a real line.
> Fucking hard into his hole with a loud squelching sound
We love the Chinese noodle sound effect!
> Like he was being murdered by his stalker's massive cock from how good it was. It split him open, stuffing him so perfectly full that his pussy practically convulsed in joy
Or it's convulsing because it's being murdered by said massive cock. This is also a real line.
begging to be bred 6.PNG
> His balls slapping against pale skin until it turned said
Would you say it's turning into raspberry milk?
> He released straight into the other man's cervix
I hope these people realize that the cervix is closed and only opens for pregnancy; the sperm has to swim inside and make it way to a waiting egg.
> Even if Viktor was squirting so violently is threatened to eject him
He never orgasmed before with the 'creeps' he dated (read: men who tried to date rape him) but leave it to a sexy sociopathic doctor to give him the GTA firetruck squirt on his first time.
> Your pussy's as disobedient as you are, baby. Gotta teach it that I'm not going anywhere
This is a real line.
> Viktor thinks he might've pissed himself from how good he's being railed
I mean, you kinda did.
begging to be bred 7.PNG
> Or do you want it right here, on your womb?
Nothing says 100% True and Honest Man like getting a tramp stamp over your uterus.
> Viktor felt tears streaming down his face at the words, of being seen
It's funny how the only time FTMs are ever 'truly seen' in this 'Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known' trope is getting pregnant. They aren't known for anything else, just getting knocked up and popping out some GRR ALPHA MALE's kid. Funny how that works.
> Taste their mixed spend from the bowl of his sweet cunt
But does it taste like raspberry milk? It must because that giant cock has no refractory period and can just pump out another fruit milkshake on the five-minute mark.
begging to be bred 8.PNG
> If he was truly a wolf and, by the end of their mating, he would be knotted and claimed
ZOMG IT'S JUST LIKE MY ABO FICS!111111
> Maybe this was how Viktor was going to die - fucked to death by his stalker
That doesn't sound so bad. Better than being made into a tradwife - oh, wait.
begging to be bred 9.PNG
> Report me to the cops if you want
Oh I know a better number and a man that could get the job done, and his name rhymes with Dom Bolman
> Going on dates with men that turned out to be creeps
And they were icky, low IQ white men who wanted to date rape him, unlike this sexy, high IQ Latino doctor who showed him the full burrito.
> The sea perpetually crashing against the rocky shoreline
This has to be somewhere in California because I can't think of another place that has dense forests and a shoreline right next to it. If so, that would make him trying to climb a tree even more difficult because have you seen those redwoods? I know they ain't fucking in the Carolinas.
begging to be bred 10.PNG
Poisoned by cum indeed, because you're already turning into a tradwife. Who knew that an author that makes clickbaity XVideo titles always has the FTM become a traditional wife with four kids - tramp stamp notwithstanding?

This was the end note.
end note.PNG
Love ain't always black and blue, it sometimes involves a rampaging, sexually aggressive Latino that wants to BLEACH his skin line. Learn how to become a tradwife in one easy step!

What happens when your enemy-with-fuckbuddy-benefits gets tied up and has to shoeshine your shoes with their tongue? AIDS A hammer up the kitty, silly! Lines for this fic include:
- “Don’t worry kitten, I'm going to give you some milk now.
- His own meat weapon would settle for another part
hammertime.PNG
> Covering the yellowish tint of his complexion
Either he became Asian overnight or he has yellow fever. 'Complexion' normally refers to the face, not eyes.
hammertime 2.PNG
> Ngh, fool
Hey, who invited Joe Biden?
> Watching the other's hips reach for more inches of the handle
You just wrote his legs were 'disconnected from his nervous system'. That basically means he is paralyzed from the waist down. How is he moving his hips if he can't move his legs? It would also mean he can't remain in a kneeling position because there'd be no blood flow or instruction to keep the legs bent.
> Petrified inside his pants
sucks to hear your boner turned into stone, buddy.
> Inside his pants, Jayce also lusted for more
I mean you did just write that his dick was 'petrified', which gives off the wrong impression.
> His ass, tight no matter the level of preparation
I guess the one good thing about augments is that your backdoor is ready for those POZ loads 24/7, and you don't need surgery to tighten up that bootyhole.
> In his pussy, hot and tasty
This makes me think you're writing about Chinese food vs someone's vagina.

Oh, and get a drink ready for all those uses of 'pleasure' - you are going to get hammered along with our cyborg here.
hammertime 3.PNG
hammertime 4.PNG
> One might ask why Viktor, so excited about his transhuman purpose
One might ask why he chose to keep his female genitalia instead of crafting the male parts he desires so much. If he can shut off transmissions to his legs - while also keeping them upright - then why can't he do that?
> How terrible it would be if Viktor were fully conscious
> At that moment consciousness, intelligence, and position no longer matter
??? I don't think you know what words mean. He is still fully conscious; you just injected some 'Fuck Me Pheromones' that makes him think he's in Equestria.
hammertime 5.PNG
> Stumbling inconsistently to reach every corner of those boots
He can't stumble because the only thing he's moving is his face and tongue.
> Don't worry kitten. I'm going to give you some milk now.
This is a real line.
> His own meat weapon would settle for another part
So is this.
hammertime 6.PNG
>The contradiction of wanting and not being able to. Of being able to, and not wanting to desire. Of desiring so much, that it hurt
Contradiction is right; what the fuck do you think a 'want' is? Is a desire. He wants but is not able to yet desires because he's able to? ????
> Or whatever Viktor lied about being
Being about what?
hammertime 7.PNG
> Viktor was a whore, a thing needing to be used, and whores and things and his non human heart accepted whatever they received
You have to love how these 'sex positive' people universally view 'sex workers' as objects for penis owners to stick it in, vs people actual people. It's always an insult meant to shame the character even when they are the same people who say that 'sex work is work'. Which is it? Is it a source of pride to be a whore and a thing, or not?
> Those light brown eyes
They're golden. If you can write this character getting AIDS from repeat anal sex, you can get the eye colour right.
> Thankfully showed how much of his cunt was reshaped after iron and metal
Interesting how he can retrofit his vagina to be more metallic, yet cannot craft himself a true and honest penis. That is a phalloplasty that would actually work, but he decided to keep his innie and be called a whore every step of the way. Very masc. Remind me: which sex gets shamed for being a whore, again?
hammertime 8.PNG
> His body was limp and destroyed
Mind you that he has no nerve connection to his legs and is basically kneeling thanks to gravity and restraints.
> Self-produced liquid running down his thighs as if asking for more
And this guy goes right back out into the public with his hammer coated in natural or synthetic pussy juice. He didn't even wipe it down, FFS. You're really going to give out handshakes while your hands are coated in webs of slick like a slug? Gross. Don't make me summon the spirit of Howie Mandel.

There's nothing super straighter than fucking a vagina, but nakura wants you to believe that this is 100% homosexual behaviour.
super straight.PNG
> The problem was that Jayce was straight, he had never been interested in men
> Bringing women over would mean that they would 'get in the way'
Oh we can't have women getting in the way of our yaoi, can we? Luckily we have an alternative: a super straight man with a pussy so this guy can convince himself that he is 100% homosexual without ever touching an anus. "Wow," he must think, "I really am one of the gay boys" while fucking a pussy.
super straight 2.PNG
> Even beginning to think that Viktor had diabetes
This is him being a adorkable himbo who doesn't know Viktor is trans. He legit thinks Viktor has a cock and balls when he has the genitalia of the sex he is exclusively attracted to.
super straight 3.PNG
> Viktor was so easy to handle...was it something he liked in bed
Wow, the barely 100 lb sack of bones is 'easy to handle'. I am so glad you figured it out, Mr. Super Straight. Nothing is hotter than fucking something lighter than Billy Bass.
> That's why Jayce believed Viktor wasn't skillfully hiding his masturbatory habits
I love how he assumes he has to be masturbating while seeing that his friend is in pain. 100% heterosexual behaviour. Reminder that nakura here doesn't want to address the fact how Viktor ended up getting AIDS in that one fic, either: 100% heterosexual behaviour**.
> It's just that Viktor looked kind of cute when he was scared
Look at that. Our resident Latino gets sexually excited when a white person is terrified. There's nothing to analyze from that, no ma'am.
super straight 4.PNG
super straight 5.PNG
Oh yeah, super straight behaviour to call your your roommate 'baby'. I don't think nakura knows how straight men actually act, but she sure is content writing exclusively heterosexual behaviour while calling it homosxual.
super straight 6.PNG
> Something he wore daily
Nothing like a binder and some necrotizing breasts to encourage a man he is 100% homosexual.
> On the way to Viktor's waist, so thin and irresistible, perfect for Jayce's large hands
Let me guess. His waist is so small his thumbs meet in the middle.
> Blood wouldn't completely escape his neurons to feed his cock
Your neurons operate off electrical impulse. They're directing the blood to your cock in the first place.
> Those pale thighs
We know he's white, thank you.
> His member shrinking
Funny that you think a 2 inch roid clit can shrink.
> Just thinking about Viktor covering his body as if he could hide from the shivers was enough for Jayce to cum in thick ropes
I can't wait to read his 100% homosexual reaction to realizing Viktor has a vagina.
super straight 7.PNG
> Enjoying the sensation against his semi-hard cock
One would think, if he was 100% straight as he was, why he would situate himself in that kind of position. It's deliberately erotic and sexual, while a straight man would just do it from the side of the bed like a professional. One also wonders why he hasn't noticed the lack of an erection yet - but he does later.
> He felt like a Victorian seeing a lady's bare shins for the first time
And he's jacking it to a Victorian tuberculosis victim. Hot.
> His first instinct was to blame Viktor instead of his own mind
That's very progressive and feminist - blame someone else for your sexual impropriety. His inner Latino is coming out.
> He wanted to measure the circumference of his thighs, hold behind his knees, analyze how far the beginning of his legs could be stretch
It really is like stretching out a chicken wing, lmao.
super straight 8.PNG
> You know where I'm going with this
"I, a 100% heterosexual, super straight man, am asking inappropriate questions on whether you masturbate because I blame you for driving me sexually wild."
super straight 9.PNG
> Dmitri already helped me oce, you know
> A thing between bros
Yeah this dumb cunt has no idea how straight men act. Straight men don't jack each other off. Bisexual/gay men do. You can just write this character as bisexual and proud of it. Enough with the 'I'm 100% straight, but man pussy makes me gay' bullshit.
super straight 10.PNG
So now he is beginning to realize that the parts Viktor should have - a cock and balls - do not exist, and if you think this is going to set off alarms in this 100% superstraight man's brain, you'd be mistaken. Remember that the biggest sin in these fics is to be a transphobe - you can be a pedophilic rapist and that's 100% fine - so a natural gay or straight man's reaction to finding out their partner lied about their genitalia doesn't ever lead to a fist to the face or a single argument. It's 'oh yeah! Easier penetration!'

purely homosexual.PNG
> Jayce was familiar with being the one deciding things in bed
Funny how the people who say gender roles are bad believe in fixed gender roles and dynamics when it comes to specific fictional men acting or behaving a certain way. These same people will rather commit suicide than see their alpha male Latino get a tongue up his ass.
> Seriously it doesn't make the slightest difference
Called it. There're no, 'Wow, does this make me a gay man, a bi man or am I still a super straight if I fuck a pussy?' questions popping off in that brain, it's just 'Wow! Easy and free pussy!'
> My God, he grabbed his wrist with one hand so easily, he could wrap them both just one hand
OMG IT'S JUST LIKE MY BODICE RIPPER HETSLOPS!!!!11

purely homosexual 2.PNG
> The fact that Viktor had a pussy didn't make the slightest difference
1. You said that already. 2. By all rights it should, because now we have a 'super straight' man in love with a 'man' who ahs a vagina, and he has to wonder if he's actually gay or not because gender identity has nothing to do with genitalia etc etc.
> He shouldn't talk about that part of a trans friend's body like that
I'll say. Leave it to 'genderqueers' to be the most transphobic people imaginable. What do you mean the trans man is being valued and judged based on having mosquito bite tits - BTW, this is the same author who couldn't keep the tit size consistent in her own rape fic - that suddenly have enough fat for a dick to go through them? What do you mean you are comparing the teeny tiny t-dick of a mere 2 inches to the colossal 10+ inches of pure male vitality?
> I know it's hard. Your dick is so tiny compared to mine
In the Redditsphere this is a microaggression. In the AO3 sphere, it's just them confirming that trans men will never compare to well-hung Latinos and they should just quite while they're ahead.
> Delicate and fragile and - no not fragile
Oh, is our swan-necked, pale, white, alabastrine, uwu tiny dood with the salmon-pink nipples not fragile? You were too busy talking about how tiny his wrists and legs are just a few sentences ago.
purely homosexual 3.PNG
> Kneel for me in the middle of the kitchen, the lab
Note how it is always about the trans man kneeling for the 'cis' man, and never the other way around. Not very woke of you, nakura. This creature can barely kneel as it is.
> Your hands are so thin, you can barely hold me
His hands are just uwu so smol, like a baby's.
> Calling Viktor over in the middle of a hot shower to feel his icy lips against the head of his cock
It's always about the man's pleasure, the man's wants, the man's fantasies. He doesn't even think of his partner's wants at all.
purely homosexual 4.PNG
> When could he start making Viktor complete his fantasies
See point above: it is always about the MAN and his wants and needs and fantasies, and not that of his AFAB partner. He's so progressive he never thinks of kneeling to eat that pussy that he is totally homosexual for now; he never says he will do the heavily lifting to please his partner. It's about the 'delicate, uwu fragile' mosquito bite tit uterus owner doing all the work.
> He had so many things to discuss (like) his gender identity
Oh yeah, we HAVE to respect that. Misgendering is genocide but expecting the trans man to please your fantasies to the T (no pun intended) is not biological essentialism, no ma'am. We are for gender neutral love here.
purely homosexual 5.PNG
"It's just bros helping bros," he said. "Having a vagina makes no difference, because I can still convince myself I am not straight while exclusively having vaginal sex. What's that? I have to be a receptive partner and engage in anal play to be homosexual? I have to suck some dick? Ew, that's not trad or super straight. I'm only into homosexual vagina, sorry!"

Celestialthread has posted her first ABO, and it has all the hallmarks you've come to expect: a BookTok style summary - "X wasn't into love. He was into business first and foremost. He didn't want a family or children. But then Y comes along and rocks his world" - and has the sexist 'change his ways' and turn a bright, intelligent young woman trans omega into a tradwife baby maker. It is your most cliched, insufferable hetslop that you see Booktubers do dramatic readings on while laughing. This author thinks it is transgressive.
alpha male dominance.PNG
I can tell you right off the bat I have read published novels with the exact same themes and characterization. We have our Latino playboy picking up beautiful, big-breasted women and takes advantage of them because they are just stupid bimbos who love big dicks. He's an alpha male; he's got no time for family affairs, kids or love! He's there to spread his pheromones and get easy pussy because that's just what alphas do. He's a real man, man!
alpha male dominance 2.PNG
> he didn't want his condo smelling like omega
Have you considered investing in an air filter? A wax warmer? An industrial fan?
> None of them were good enough. None of them looked good on all fours
Because penetration from behind isn't mate-bonding behaviour. It's a sign of low IQ. Look at this low IQ Hispanic mounting people like a dog. Very trad, very alpha male.
> He didn't want a partner. Didn't want pups. didn't want a family
Ah yes this cliché ...and wouldn't you believe it, he has all of those! The big reveal is that he knocked up Viktor, the flat-chested, fat-stomached omega who waltzes into his life and 'tames' his beastly ways.
alpha male dominance 3.PNG
> She was ordinary. Unremarkable. But she was beautiful. Sexy
So she is remarkable, just not in the IQ department. Wanna take a guess what her name is?
> Came with a low snarl, spilling thick streaks of cum all over the omega's full ass
Look at that, he's snarling like the real alpha male wolf daddy he is. He can't handle the junk in the trunk, but he will take an unseasoned Walmart chicken thigh.
alpha male dominance 4.PNG
> She wasn't from his world; wasn't on his level
What he means is that she's not on his Bell Curve. He wants a high IQ, librarian-style NLOG who will challenge him and call out his sexist ways so he can change. He doesn't want a ho, he wants a housewife. Where have I seen that before?
alpha male dominance 5.PNG
> He was an asshole, but he couldn't bring himself to tell omegas outright that they'd never see him again
> The omega's name is Barbie
Oh-ho-ho, lemme tell you something about women named 'Barbie' Mr. Alpha Male Latino. Whether they are trailer trash or some high-end Latina, they are the type to record everything down and spill the tea to everyone inside and outside their community. They will make TikToks on the 'sexy misogynist' who is a man slut and looks for easy women. They will rate the size of your dick and whether you are most likely to get an STD. Of course, none of this applies because sexy stud men can get away with anything they want, even if they act like Ronaldo. Barbie here is the type to divorce-rape you in court because you missed her 9 p.m. facial. She'll take your wallet so she can feed her Lamborghini. Don't fuck with Barbies.
alpha male dominance 6.PNG
> He'd already given her more time than she deserved
"I'm an alpha male. It's my biologically ordained role to fuck omegas and leave them behind. I don't need no kids, I just need a hole to keep my alpha male dick warm. What's that? Child support? Fuck you, the state can't stop me!"
alpha male dominance 7.PNG
> Hates being the boss
> Still likes being the boss because he's in charge of his company, but prefers doing field tests and research
Logic. Of course the author tries to interject some humanity as if he isn't a one-dimensional male slut who gets special privileges because he's an alpha male.
alpha male dominance 8.PNG
Leave it to the token black woman to call him out on his bullshit, and for him to brush it off by saying he 'doesn't fuck workplace associates' when the major twist is that this new associate has a kid from him and he has to struggle to become a devoted father. That's it, that's the fic.
alpha male dominance 9.PNG
> Knew his close colleagues and friends had opinions about him
Yeah, it was probably this:
hispanic stats.PNG
> Vanilla, orange blossom and milk
Very masc. One would say those scents are very feminine, leading one to assume that the entire 'trans' tag here is useless and the author just wants to write a workaround woman.
alpha male dominance 10.PNG
Yes, he can smell a fertile, happy omega who is also the same one he knocked up six years ago. What a twist! Now he has to contend with lingering feelings and a 'pup' that gets in the way of his career and social standing, because alphas really don't like it when something like a child ruins their lives - that's for omegas only. They're the ones that have to have the children and rearrange their lives around it.

Should've stuck with Barbie. She at least would've told you she was a gold digger. Justice for Barbie.
uwu omega.PNG
Of course he's shy and demure because what better way to hammer home these dynamics than to collectively shit on these characters so much that they're unrecognizable? We're exploring gender, here; that's why we have the designated masculine male as the alpha and the one universally deemed as weak and feminine the omega. That's progressivism, baby.
uwu omega 2.PNG
> She made people feel safe
And alphas, as a rule, do not, so leave it to a female alpha to make the poor omegas feel safe when they suffer the threat of rape from male alphas every five minutes.
> His alpha presence surged
*'Father' from Sabaton starts playing*
uwu omega 3.PNG
You'll never guess who this woman is.
uwu omega 4.PNG
> It was both funny - and pathetic - how one alpha could so thoroughly scramble his mind
It's just biology, bro. Your biological instincts and need to reproduce reared its ugly head and showed everyone how your progressive values mean nothing. Biological essentialism is cool when WE do it, sweaty.
> A virgin. And Jayce had bee everything he'd ever dreamed of
This is the most hetslop of hetslop published smut books I've ever read. I have always hated this type of female character because there is virtually no sense of self-preservation. It's less a case of an intelligent woman being manipulated and betrayed than an uwu omega who represents the most infantile stereotypes of women getting dragged along because they saw a monster cock and gargled it in both holes. Oh wow, you feel in love with a big, strong, broad-shouldered alpha male that is the center of every woman's dreams? You don't say! Next you'll be saying his jawline was sculpted from the Gods, or some shit.
uwu omega 5.PNG
Mind you, this person is allegedly intelligent and has a degree of self-respect. Allegedly. Yet, he acts like a teenage girl scorned. Any woman worth their weight would be joining their version of the Tea App and warning other women - er, omegas - what this Latino alpha is up to. On top of buying pregnancy tests, he should be buying an STD test. Those Latino men are dirty, I tell ya!
uwu omega 6.PNG
> This entire universe is meant to 'explore gender'
> Universally writes the omega having their life irrevocably changed due to a one-night stand and being forced to bear the brunt of pregnancy
It sounds awfully 💗HETEROSEXUAL💗instead of exploring gender, doesn't it?
> Where was Viktor even supposed to begin?
Google? You have access to the Internet. Go and find some tea on the man, and then get a lawyer, go to a court, and get a child support case going. You'll have him knocking at your door in no time.
uwu omega 7.PNG
The dad is right here. The uwu omega just couldn't resist their instincts and opened their legs for our sexy Latino here as if this is some shitty self-published smut novel.
> Did he really want to end his child's life
What IS the attitude around abortion in ABO, anyways? I ask because there never seems to be a consistent rule. It seems they are very conservative and pro-life for a universe meant to explore gender roles. What would happen if the omega ended their pregnancy after all? Would they suffer social shame? Could the alpha male sue? Or does that all hit too close to home?
uwu omega 8.PNG
> Acknowledges his health issues would put the pregnancy and his own life at risk
> It goes off without a hitch because of course it does
I guess being a reckless slut grants you immunity points.

Oh, and look at that: the child calls him mommy. Not any other gender neutral term as one would expect, but 'mommy'. Not very transgressive of you, is it, dear author?
uwu omega 9.PNG
> Released a wave of calming pheromones
I wonder what would happen if you lit a match around them. Would they explode like a natural gas leak or light up like a Roman candle?
uwu omega 10.PNG
Look at that! The mystery woman is Ximena! The universe really does want this hetslop pair to get back together 😌
uwu omega 11.PNG
> My son always drew beautifully
He's gonna draw up something else when that child support comes in. You also have to love when the author says it isn't 'technically' his fault when it technically is. Bitch, who wrote him sticking his dick in a vagina and impregnating it? You did. He didn't have to come inside; he could've painted the walls with his semen like he was Jackson Pollock. He just did it because he 'couldn't resist a virgin'. Now we have to deal with a whole rollercoaster of your most basic bitch plots on how a sexist Latino has to gain his humanity after seeing his mixed race kid. If she tries hard enough, she might get Blake Lively to produce it.

is this nigga a hummingbird?
Let me say that I love lines like these because they are so ridiculous they have to be shared outside of their circles so others can see how stupid they are. My personal favourite will always be 'his pussy drooled like a dog' for how insanely retarded it sounds. No one would believe that fanfic can get this bad unless it's directly quoted, and I have a ton of lines that can be used as random_txt material. Prettybadmagic has a fuckton of them.

Speaking of: every Tuesday the AO3 subreddit has a page on diversity and disability awareness. Turns out that no one actually gives a shit and does not comment on it, and those that do, ask why these are even posted if no one cares about important things like Black History Month, anyways.
BHM.PNG
BHM 2.PNG
There were only two comments.
BHM 3.PNG
Ma'am, are you asking for deep-seated discussions among people who'd rather not see niggers in their spaces? You're in the wrong place.
 
I happened across the linked thread while looking for this one. I thought it might be relevant here. Basically it alleges that a lot of current writers got started in fanfiction and the styles and tropes associated with it have heavily penetrated normal literature, or at least genres of it. I'm open-minded to people having made fan works and then go on to make serious stuff of their own, but I'm 99.9% sure this is a bad thing just by what the article mentions.

I got morbidly curious and wanted to see if Umamusume fanfiction was common (there's over 2700 after only several months of it being globally popular so I think that's a lot?) and I look at the most-viewed and I'm greeted with this. Cygames, get the yakuza.
Screenshot 2026-02-13 173013.png

Also decided to see what that Duran Duran fan was up to and it's just the same depraved nonsense discussed previously. Weird race fetishism aplenty; one fic ended up fetishizing white men instead of the usual.
Screenshot 2026-02-13 174421.png

I dunno if I mentioned this previously, but he also posts bestiality fanfiction. I can't really come up with anything else to say about this it's just disgusting.
Screenshot 2026-02-13 175004.png

Finally, there's this weird transgender fetish thing I find it difficult to wrap my head around. Wouldn't "breeding" a girl be a reminder that you're male? And what in the fuck is a "gender euphoria"?
Screenshot 2026-02-13 175539.png
 
And what in the fuck is a "gender euphoria"?
"Gender euphoria" is a concept that relies on sexist stereotypes to "affirm" someone that they're the man/woman they view themselves as. So in the case of that particular story it would be the reader going "Omg I'm a bottom being fucked by a man. I'm a true and honest woman after all! 🥺"
 
Everybody has their moments where they slip up and write a word they didn't mean in their fic. In this case, this author forgot the difference between cm and m, and made the titular wannabe rapist as tall as Building 7. This is the third fic (or fourth?) that has a gun being shoved up someone's orifice. Lines for this fic include:
- Between his legs there was piss and excitement and the biggest piece of meat he could receive, filling the void he never realized was there before

185 m.PNG
> He hadn't used perfume that day
My man can smell him like he's an Infected from L4D.
> The man was a good 185 m tall
Now, everyone has their moments where they misspell shit. I do it in my reviews here sometimes. But confusing cm and m is a deliberate oversight; making someone who is 6'2 into the height of a goddamn Eva-00 from Evangelion is something else. What she means is that he is 1.83 m tall.
> A cold gun against his pale skin
If you're wondering what kind of gun he's using - your guess is as good as mine. This gun also disappears at random because the author cannot remember whether her rape-play fic involves the rapist using a gun or not. Yeah, she's that stupid.
185 m 2.PNG
> He didn't even need to tie his hands and feet
> Has his hands and feet tied because he escaped the first time
Lol. Lmao.
> Jayce had a gun (he hadn't before, Viktor swore he hadn't
Now what kind of object was he pointing at you when you were in your hiding spot? it wouldn't be a GUN, would it?
185 m 3.PNG
> The jolt of the car
He's driving a truck.
> Click, as the captor's shoes breaking the leaves outside him
Are the leaves made of glass?
> Being treated as if he were fragile, with pity, with excessive care
> Is written by an author who exclusively writes him as a bottom who only gets pregnant and sometimes is a rape victim
> doesn't want to be treated like a rag doll, but is fine getting fucked like one provided the one doing it is hot
Logic.
185 m 4.PNG
> What did the hunter want, after all?
He just told you. You're his prey and he wants to 'eat' you - romantically, of course.
> So the hunter ran the gun along the buttons of the shirt, unbuttoning and even unhooking one or two as it made its way down to the bottom of his stomach
Guns don't have opposable thumbs. They cannot undo buttons. What this retard means is that he is unhooking them with one hand and holding the gun in the other. If you do intend to 'undo' the buttons, you'd have to drag the gun down his shirt. This isn't what's happening.
> Who had a leg brace that went from his thigh to the end of his leg
So they were just hobbling after each other through the forest like some pirate peg-legs. That's rather funny when you think about it.
185 m 5.PNG
> Without much fluidity, it opened each one, exposing freckles and paleness
We know he's white, thank you.
> Breasts, curves, and scars
What curves? We are also assuming that the gun is undressing him itself as if it's a Roger Rabbit side piece.
> He was a very handsome man. They would be around the same age, if Viktor were human
??? Are you suggesting that trans men are not human? That's a heckin' wild thing to say!
> To the point that no arthropods had been seen until then
Spiders. She means spiders and spider webs.
> Confused by the warmth of his organ
This once again assumes his tongue is acting of its own volition on top of the gun that undressed him.
> This time it continued, forcing the button of his pants open
Now, now: you just wrote that Viktor had no idea if he was wearing pants or not. Now he's magically wearing pants AND they're buttoned up? Same bitch that couldn't keep the tit size consistent in her own rape fic, btw.
185 m 6.PNG
> Would you prefer I use the knife, my pretty deer
*Flashbacks of 'I'd fuck you like a baby deer' from PBM' hit*
> Immediately sucking his cock with fervor
> The hammer of the gun is larger than said cock
Amazin'.
> Flesh. he was flesh, eaten, torn and devoured by someone
Now I know people have been asking for a Telltale TWD remake, but did it have to occur in a scenario where a pooner gets a gun up their snatch?
> He shouldn't have reacted with such enthusiasm to such an action - how could he surrender so easily to a captor?
1. Your captor is hot with big muscles and a big dick 2. He smells good 3. He makes you cum, so it isn't that bad 4. If he actually looked like an inbred Virginian mountain man none of us would be here. No matter how hard you try, female preferences still rule and that means making the kidnapping/rape play involve a hot guy.
185 m 7.PNG
> He opened his thighs a little more to accommodate him. No, I don't want it, his inner voice screamed
Uh huh, while he opens said thighs more and gets sexually excited over something he knows is roleplay.
> His heart, so animalistic and treacherous, begged for me
Ah yes, the 'His mind resisted but his traitorous body did not' cliché.
> Sucking and nibbling with gusto
Is he sucking a hyena clit or is he trying to get to the middle of a Tootsie pop?
> As if he were an innocent animal, a little thing that should be cared for
What was that about not wanting to be treated as fragile? Guess we forgot about that like we forgot about the guy being 185 m tall and our pooner here having salmon-pink nipples.
> This was his body, and how could anyone satiate themselves with it? He was broken, unfit, guilty of pain and suffering
I keep telling you these authors write him like he's a character in a Taylor Swift song: 'UGH I'm so BROKEN and UGLEEE why do you LOVE me also I'm so SPECIAL I'm not like the other GIRLS AFABs.' Also, what's funny about this declaration is that the author later writes him as being partially recovered and that he has some muscle mass. He's actually not sick anymore, lmao
> The slick from his cunt covered part of his face, like blood on a full plate
If your 'slick' looks like raspberry milk, it might be time to visit Birthing Person Jones.
185 m 8.PNG
> He knew how cruel his husband could be when he wanted to
Jayce isn't cruel. He vomited when he saw a bridge full of dead bodies and cried when he had to kill the 'love of his life'. He is the most sensitive, caring man you could meet. This bitch writes him like he's Ramsay Bolton down to the 'nibbling flesh' bit.
> Destiny, not exactly
> Describes how it is destiny and how the 'arcane magic' can't keep them apart
> Also writes how the universe deigned to give them a second chance because white men who cause multiversal genocide get a pass (purple men like Thanos do not).
> Now with healthy lungs and a more toned body
And she just wrote that he was 'broken and sickly' despite not being sickly anymore. He just has a fucked-up leg, same as Jayce. She can't even remain consistent with her Taylor Swift woe-is-me lyrics.
gun in the snatch.PNG
> When the gun landed between his breasts
> He inserted the gun into his entrance
Yes, he is putting a potentially loaded weapon into a highly sensitive orifice. Let's assume he's using a revolver: it's the smoothest one, with the longest phallic barrel. You've got sick shots (maybe more or less depending on the make) and the bigger the gun, the bigger the calibre. If it's the same revolver that Desmond held to his head during 'Smiling Friends', Viktor's pussy isn't just going to look like a zombie ate it, it's going to make his entire insides look like a strawberry milkshake. First it was the glock from fujofrankenstein, now this.
gun in the snatch 2.PNG
> It's sharp, icy edges mercilessly striking various points inside him
You're lucky your pussy is protected by Arcane Allstate because you really don't want that steel snagging on something.
> The absurdity of being captured and being fucked by the weapon that held him
Imagine if it really was loaded and Jayce got so excited he pulled the trigger. You think the universe would give them a second chance? His pussy ain't Deadpool.
> I so wish this was my cock, but you don't deserve it, do you
> later pulls out a Tarzan pube covered caveman cock with hairy balls
> I need to be inside you. Need to breed you
Funny how it's always the trans man getting into these situations and being treated like they're a breeding sow. It almost sounds like these authors have a 'breeding kink' fetish yet can't find their sexy Latino caveman outside of a drug clinic in LA. Reality is such a bitch.
> Between his legs there was piss and excitement and the biggest piece of meat he could receive, filling the void he never realized was there before
But was the gun bigger? I have to know. Was it a .38 or a .500?
gun in the snatch 3.PNG
> One wrong touch and all would be lost
Yeah, that white pussy so good literal bullets are going off inside it 😉
> Opening his mouth to shove the object between his lips and suck with need
sucking skills so good he can get the bullet out of the chamber
> Plap plap, the sounds of their bodies were so loud they sounded like gunshots to his ears
The ATF would like to know his location.
> Sucking on the gun and accepting the pleasure
Oh he's sucking the lube right out.
> You were born for this. You were born for me to find you.
Almost as if he has complementary genitalia.
> Gonna impregnate you and keep you here forever
"I'm gonna fuck you and make you my mountain wife so you can cook me meals and we fight off the ATF because our lovemaking sounds like gun shots. Oh fuck, is that a tank I see in the distance? What's that smell, is that tear gas?"
> Like animals howling for mercy
Yep, that's enough for the ATF. You 100% count as dogs.

I ended it there because the rest was just them checking in because the loaded-not-loaded gun was just a prop and they were just play-fucking. They love each other dearly and our dear gun sucker who loves having a well-oiled round slammed into a chamber can't wait to be a mommy. Pregnancy is the only thing his broken body can do and we need to put those salmon-pink nipples to work.

This same author has another entry (the second-to-last one)for her sub Valentine's week. Who doesn't love old men squirting?
old men squirt good.PNG
> They look so quickly to the side and then forward that they seem not to move
He has nanosecond reflexes, I see.
> The prominent angles create beautiful curves in his hips
What curves? All you're going to see are his bones.
> His neck appears even more elongated, encircled by his tie
There's that white swan-neck we all know and love!
> Being a good boy to me
It's weird to call a 50-year-old a 'boy', let alone one who has a pussy. Why call someone close enough to reach silver fox status that?
old men squirt good 2.PNG
> Hides his whole pussy with his whole hand
A tiny hand, mind you, whose fingers just can't do the job a Mexican hand is capable of doing.
old men squirt good 3.PNG
> The small indentation of his hole
When you first read this, you might think that his vagina is sucking in the fabric. It is not; it's an anal plug, and the author only mentions it's a plug halfway through the fic.
> Revealing a pair of very small breasts, almost imperceptible in size above his ribcage
Knowing this author, if you think there are going to be inconsistencies in breast sizes - you would be correct.
old men squirt good 4.PNG
> The skin of his waist, the curve of his chest, the firmness of his sides
He's a 50-year-old man with the body of a starving Infected from 28 Days Later. There is no flesh to grab. You can try playing the xylophone on them, though.
> His baby, his sweet boy, the man who would bend at any angle he asked
1. He's 50 2. He really can't. That spine is reinforced for a reason.
old men squirt good 5.PNG
> He hesitantly shows his small, pretty ass, pulling up a band (that) exposes his hole filled by a plug
That plug is thicker than his ass, btw. Has more give.
> 50 year old dating a twenty-five-year old
Glad he's not following Leonardo DiCaprio's method of dumping them once they reach 20.
> As long as he remembers his place: below Jayce, around Jayce, with his cock exploring every cavity
You hear that? A pooner's true place is to get fucked by a real man. I don't make the rules here.
> Promising against the reverberating walls how much he was going to fuck that filled little ass later
That plug is really doing the heavy lifting. There's no junk in the trunk - it's just a junkyard. You really would be better off fucking a loose exhaust pipe.
old men squirt good 6.PNG
> His cunt is pink and plump, his cock is only a few centimeters long, but it's enough to change the space between the sticky pubic hairs
'A few centimeters' implies it's smaller than the tip of a mechanical pencil - and then you have the Hispanic Hog here who is 'huge, thick, and the largest piece of meat he's ever taken'. The sheer size difference is peak comedy. Small dick jokes just don't cut it.
> His fingers are too small, too thin
Those Size 4 ring fingers just can't do the job Mexicans are willing to do.

Also, you wrote his breasts were 'very small, almost imperceptible in size' and now they're 'swaying'? The only thing that has remained consistent is that he has pink (but not salmon-pink!) nipples.
old men squirt good 7.PNG
> His cunt is so wet, like a fountain
And they never consider that it might stain the carpet or that someone is going to remark how it smells like 'piss and cum' in there. Maybe you can get your pet Mexican to clean it, yeah?
old men squirt good 8.PNG
> Th waves turn into a sea of complete elipses
He's trying to talk to that SCP who can only be talked about in pictures. Said SCP wants to never be confronted with old men squirting ever again.
> Spraying hot jets of liquid into the office carpet
Amazing how he can squirt like a jacuzzi, all day every day.
> Brown skin, straight nose, large forehead
Well I guess it's better than writing him like a caveman.
old men squirt good 9.PNG
BTW, did you know this author doesn't want you to feed her work into AI? It might start writing about nipple colours if you do.
I'm an adult.PNG

That NLOG alpha male CEO fic has had an update.
alpha male baby daddy.PNG
> Like flowers left too long in a vase, petals curling in on themselves
So he smells like rotting, watery plants and stale water. OK. These people can change scent on command so smelling like rotten things is intentional.
alpha male baby daddy 2.PNG
> Didn't like thinking about his part partners
Of course not. He's an alpha male; he takes those stupid fucking women omegas like a real man: behind, without a care in the world, like a dog does. Face-to-face sexual contact isn't high IQ enough for him.
alpha male baby daddy 3.PNG
> Reading a book by Stephen Hawking
> He doesn't talk about how he was on a certain island surrounding himself with certain men
I guess that kind of elite doesn't exist in Omegaverse, eh? But look at him sitting on that couch like an NLOG: he's reading a physics book that shows his higher IQ than those stupid omegas. He won't be taken for a fool - oh, wait.
alpha male baby daddy 4.PNG
> Caught his scent in an instant - subtle but intoxicating
And no other alpha catches it. Only his supreme nose on his Chad body can pick up the smell of an omega in heat.
alpha male baby daddy 5.PNG
> As if that one detail might change Jayce's intentions. It didn't.
We have the classic, 'Alpha male pretends to be progressive to get virginal pussy' trope, as well as the tropey fallout of the NLOG 'Won't Be Fooled Again'. Who can resist those muscles, those hands, that massive dick? The need to breed is too strong, bro. It's just biology.
alpha male baby daddy 6.PNG
> A subtle wave of pheromones meant to soothe rather than overwhelm the omega
Who needs rohypnol when an alpha male can produce a scent to get you into Fuck Me mode?
> Nearly laughed with something dangerously close to triumph
"Alpha male enjoys the fact he can take a virgin and then proceeds to dump them" is the most basic bitch trope there is in hetslop. It's nothing new or groundbreaking, but it's enough for this author to think she's hitting new heights. No, bitch, your sexist alpha male getting excited that he is taking a virgin is not original. That's basically the dream of every heterosexual male. But don't worry, this sexist alpha male is 100% going to change once he sees his kid, right? Right?
alpha male baby daddy 7.PNG
> He carried him to the bed and laid him down carefully
They've been talking for hours over cheap alcohol and all those alpha-omega pheromones and now they are in a hotel room that probably has air filters to keep any other alphas from taking his precious virgin.
> More porcelain skin reveal
What ABO is complete without our omega being the palest, whitest, brightest creature you've ever seen? White pride worldwide, baby.
> His chest was slim, the small curves of male omega breasts barely pronounced, with perky, pale nipples
In Omegaverse both male and female omegas have vaginas and breasts, which makes you wonder how they are 'male' to begin with. It's apparently something to do with their 'secondary gender', but their primary sex has all the same traits as a natal female. Why they have to call themselves 'trans', when they cannot identify out of being an omega continues to be the universe's biggest mystery, mainly because none of these retards dare to answer it.
> Who told you all that?
Look at this progressive male feminist offering the shoulder to cry on. He is totally understanding, see, of this poor omega's struggles and why other alphas don't want easy pussy. He's crippled, an NLOG and too smart for alphas. Won't something care for this Taylor Swift song?
alpha male baby daddy 8.PNG
> I can't even present properly
Present = ass up, face forward, because face-to-face contact isn't permitted. Nevermind that those who prefer this method are, IRL, of lower IQ and have lower paternal involvement.
> My cock has been hard the moment I saw you reading that fucking book
Maybe with that dick you could've been steering Hawking around in his wheelchair like he's a bumper car.
alpha male baby daddy 9.PNG
> The scent rising from him was already hypnotic
"Whoa, that pussy juice smells great. What scent is it?"
"Black Opium."
> His small, sensitive cock nestled between them
Watch Jayce's be the size of his entire forearm once he flips it out. I bet there'll be the classic 'It won't fit' 'I'll make it fit' exchange.
> He felt feral
Oh wow, the bearded Latino who's written a sex-obsessed animal is feral? I would've never known.
alpha male baby daddy 10.PNG
> Insists he is Not Like Other Guys
> Refuses to go down on pussy because it disgusts him and it isn't 'alpha enough'
> Prioritizes his pleasure and never that of his partners
> He makes an exception for the virgin because it's his soul mate or some shit
I'm tired, boss. But the show must go on.
9 months later.PNG
> He drove into him like a man possessed, groaning, almost growling
Would you believe that this author has a 'I'm not racist' moment in this? You might as well call him a wetback and it would be less racist than crafting an entire story on how the token Latino is afflicted by machismo and has to be 'tamed' by the uwu white omega.
> This time, he didn't
That white pussy be hitting different. Barbie, take notes.
9 months later 2.PNG
> Like vanilla and sweet milk
Can he turn into curdled milk on command like that one fic had him do? Turn off those sexist alphas with one easy trick!
9 months later 3.PNG
Alpha males don't masturbate or watch porn. They just contract STDs the old fashioned way: fucking random women omegas.
9 months later 4.PNG
> He didn't want a mate. He didn't want a bond
> Entire fic is about this tropey, sexist, cliched man finding his humanity and discovering the joys of both
❌IT'S❌HETSLOP❌WE❌DON'T❌WANT❌THAT❌
9 months later 5.PNG
9 months later 6.PNG
> Accuses his mother of being racist because she thinks all Latino pups are the same
> The author doesn't think it's racist to make the token Latino a sex pest and beast who 'becomes feral' because it's 'in his instincts' to do so
As the saying goes: white hands typed this.
> His mother is desperate for grandchildren because she wants the family line to continue
> Stubborn alpha male doesn't want to settle down and continue his bloodline because he 'doesn't do that'
Lol. Lmao.
> I'm not racist, and you know that
"I'm not racist. I just wrote a Latino as an animal who can't control himself and treats women like shit. I also crafted a story where the white (wo)man is the only one who can tame them because that bloodline is better when white blood is introduced. See? I'm not a racist. I just want that Latino whitened out."
> They say it all depends on the omega..the older the omega, the higher the risk of complications
...Who fucking knew The Wall is a thing in Omegaverse? I guess she isn't aware that older men create more retarded children because their sperm becomes defective. Are alpha males protected from this, or are omegas forced to hit that Wall head-on?
9 months later 7.PNG
> How am I supposed to take care of your pups if soon someone will have to change my diapers?
??? Hire a nanny. Go into an assisted living facility. Get a government-mandated omega to serve as your bangmaid. All of it's legal.
9 months later 8.PNG
> he didn't matter. (He was) an employee like any other; an omega like countless others
"You're different because you have my mixed race child and I can't be racist." You have to love how said mixed-race child is already more polite. Those white genes are taming that brown blood.
> Ridiculous butterfly clip
Very masc.
> Delicate neck completely bare
He just wants to chomp down on that swan neck like he's Edward Cullen, but with most gusto because he's Latino.
9 months later 9.PNG
Guys, guys! It ain't cliched hetslop. You just need to sit down and let Ximena get her mixed race children so she won't be racist.
Here is Chapter 4.
alpha fucks.PNG
> Send her in
Remember, misgendering is genocide and you should never do it because it harms the trans community. However, when they 'accidentally' do it, or call their precious trans man a 'mommy', it is decidedly not genocide but 'taking back our identity'. It's different when WE do it, sweaty~
alpha fucks 2.PNG
> He wasn't about to give up his dream job jut because his boss happened to be the father of his pup
It speaks volumes how only one group of people in this universe is expected to gestate and rear children while the other half is not expected to endure any social consequences or shame whatsoever. We're totally exploring gender here.
> Why should he be nervous about facing someone who meant nothing to him?
It's almost as if biology is real when you want it to be and our dear omega has a harder time separating from the pair bond than a male does. Real evopsych shit here.
alpha fucks 3.PNG
> This was not the composed, self-assured, charming alpha he remembered. That had been smoothed. Controlled.
Redundant. Just come out and say he's the Latin Lover right down to the borderline personality disorder that so many of them have. It ain't machismo unless someone gets a black eye.
> Beginning to understand why their son was so distractable
Ma'am, that's just called autism.
> You can't carve genes out of a man
Oh so NOW we take genetics seriously. Funny, that; you're the same people who think it's offensive to say that Hispanics are one standard deviation below whites, but now it's real and concrete when it comes to Omegaverse. You can get these progshits to accept Aktion T4 provided it's in omegaverse.
alpha fucks 4.PNG
alpha fucks 5.PNG
> It carried the weight of command. Alpha
ME ALPHA DEMAND RESPECT. YOU DISRESPECT ALPHA. ME GET OUT BELT. ME WHIP YOU FOR DISOBEDIENCE. YOU NO DISRESPECT ALPHA.
> His demeanor changed like a kaleidoscope, moving from frustration to cordial civility to anger
That's just the BPD talking. All Hispanic men are like that. Guess that partial white blood didn't erase those genes, eh?
> You can't hold that against me. It's not like there were any consequences
I wonder if alphas in this universe pull the 'omegas just can't take accountability' as they do IRL. Because Viktor CAN hold it against you AND there were clearly consequences.
> I broadened your horizons and boosted your confidence. You should be grateful
AKA 'If I didn't fuck you, no one would, and you wouldn't be here without my dick'. And they love saying this isn't sexist hetslop.
alpha fucks 6.PNG
> I have to pick up the 'no consequences' from kindergarten
And the kid has BPD and autism. Fun, alpha male traits. Something tells me they don't allow IVF or embryonic screening to get rid of said traits.
> Few things unsettled an alpha more than having their performance in bed questioned
That's just men in general. Of course the Latino takes it the hardest because that's a direct attack on their manhood. What's the response to such insolence? beatings.
alpha fucks 7.PNG
> Insists ABO is 'exploring gender roles'
> Proceeds to call the omega and the one you insist is a man 'mommy'
The jokes write themselves.
alpha fucks 8.PNG
> I did everything I could to make sure my son didn't grow up like him
Boy, is that an understatement of the century. Your son is a sexist, manipulative manwhore who wants those alpha fucks but not those beta bucks and his sperm is already starting to age. Ximena is a boymom and the classic Hispanic mother who believes her son can do no wrong while he's out there infecting women with STDs.
> My son treats the idea of family like a plague
She says, while also stating she 'hoped she raised him better'. Single motherhood can't erase those genes, eh?
alpha fucks 9.PNG
> A friend was supposed to watch Benji so I could go furniture shopping
You can do that all online now. You don't have to go in-store to buy a lamp. He makes enough money that he can get the good ones, not the cheap shit on Temu.
alpha fucks 10.PNG
> He would remain in control
Another understatement of the century. At what point are omegas in control of anything?
> He could even clip an AirTag into Benji's shorts
He can afford those, but can't go furniture shopping online?
> I raised an alpha. I know how to handle a pup
> Said alpha is a misogynistic manwhore who needs to be 'tamed' by his favourite white omega
'Taming the Beast' indeed.
my hispanic dog.PNG
> Since early childhood had only demonstrated an extraordinary inability to clean up after himself
> Only listens to Spanish
He's like that video of that one pit bull that could only understand Spanish after the guy started giving commands in the language. Congrats on making the mutt act like, well, a mutt.
> Benji's favourite foods were apparently tomales and enchiladas
"I am not racist. I will use the most basic Mexican foods to illustrate my love for the cuisine even though there are hundreds of recipes, and will directly imply that white people don't season they food."

Imagine your fucking autistic child implies your European food sucks and that he only obeys Spanish and eats Mexican food because it's in his genes.
my hispanic dog 2.PNG
> Since giving birth, his heats had grown les frequent and less intense
Because giving birth is the only thing his broken body can do.
my hispanic dog 3.PNG
Look at that. Our alpha male Latino is trying to spark a jealous row between two omegas! Will our dear mamacita take the bait?
my hispanic dog 4.PNG
> Tries to bait Viktor into a jealous rage
> Falls into a jealous rage himself when a white alpha talks to his designated pet
NO HABLES INGLES. GRINGO NO BUENO.
my hispanic dog 5.PNG
"What do you have to offer, gringo? My Mexican man meat is better than your unspiced, uncut cock!"
"OMG ALPHAS STOP ARGUING OVER MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"
my hispanic dog 6.PNG
Damn, that gringo came packing his own spice! MUCHO BUENO ALPHA
my hispanic dog 7.PNG
"I'm totally jealous over you and want you to be my wife because I totally don't want a family and kids I just need the perfect white tradwife to settle down with me and tame my Latino wiles so my race can be bleached and my BPD bloodline continued. Did you drink that punch I gave you, by any chance? I swear I didn't spike it."

In true FTMfemininity fashion, nakura, in her final instalment for sub bottom Valentine's week, makes a proud declaration that wearing lipstick, makeup and dress in the style of 1970s Tim Curry 'doesn't make you any less of a man'. All identities are valid - even if you have a vagina. The lines for this fic include:
- he tasted heady and astringent, pure pussy of flesh and testosterone, the size of his small cock perfect for his lips — his entrance was beautiful for his fingers too, tight and warm, slippery like butter, no, like, again, syrup.
- he caressed his cunt as if it were a mouth

phallo pounding.PNG
> Broad shoulders highlighted by the V-shape of his open shirt
> Reality of the pants slightly revealing his package
I should remind the audience that this is a T4T tale, so all talks of this 'package' are referring to a phalloplasty (or a very large roid clit). Frankendong are rare, even among this batch, because a lifeless flesh tube is too far for the exclusively heterosexually aligned.
> PILTOVER
She means 'Piltover's.' Someone needs to fire that editor.
> The lips of his cunt were swollen and large against the fabric
As you'll come to find out, that cameltoe is the meatiest thing on his body.
phallo pounding 2.PNG
> A seam that resembled a skirt at his waist
> Defined hips, thin waist, long legs, and soft chest
Very masc, showing off a body that has no hips, no thighs, no ass, and is bonier than a KFC value meal. Considering this is the same author who can't be consistent with her breast sizes, watch them go from one cup size to another.
> His eyes were even more accentuated with eyeliner and blue eyeshadow
He thinks he's aiming for a Chappell Roan look, but all he's pulling off is Dory from Finding Nemo.
> His nose, thin and crooked, was perked up with red highlighter on the tip
His nose is a traditional Slavic nose. It's actually rather large when you look at it.
> Due to the red lipstick that highlighted the thin lips
And he's not using lip liner? Not only does he look like Dory, he looks like Sabrina Carpenter if someone took a vacuum to her face.
phallo pounding 3.PNG
> It bothered Viktor that Jayce would appear as a single man and 'available to women who could win his heart with their cunning'
IRL they are called 'mum pums' and are considered unattractive by all sides of the isle. No one likes going down on a dry, hairy mum pum.
> His successful surgeries, his past affairs
'Successful' is pushing it here. I am sure those women enjoyed watching him pump his pseudo-scrotum and wait for his 'erection' to get hard.
> Viktor was a man who didn't have many of the privileges a Piltovan hand
> Proceeds to list all the ways he isn't an actual man
Lol. Lmao, even.
> Being transgender wasn't easy in general, but Jayce overcame that with early hormone therapy, puberty blockers, free voice training, and healthcare to keep his muscles strong
Sounds like it isn't hard at all if all of those options are available to you. This also means that Jayce would not be 6'2 as he is in the show, but much smaller, as puberty blockers stunt growth. It doesn't hinder growth in males (see puberty blocked Alex Constasi) but in females they are smaller than average. You would be looking at a manlet.
> Small, but still there - breasts, a thin waist
Uh huh, waiting for that inevitable breast change mid-fic.
phallo pounding 4.PNG
> When he accepted the lingerie and the makeup, he wasn't ashamed because it made him less of a man
Men can wear makeup and tailored lingerie. The issue is that - and by extension, the author's repeated insistence - that these things make him 'more of' a male when he was never male to begin with. She writes that he gets 'compliments on his masculine form', but everything he wears highlights only the feminine.
> No matter how he presented himself, he remained a man, and that was all that mattered
> His identity was safe within himself
Sounds like he doesn't actually believe it if he has to have another trans man give him pep talks and reassurance that he is 100% a man and 'that's all that matters'.
> Delicate lace bracelets, an equally soft and semi-transparent choker
Very masc.
phallo pounding 5.PNG
> You're incomprehensible. Delirious
What happened to 'he remained a man, and that's all that mattered'? He can buy the bullshit about being male but can't take a compliment?
> Right angles, and parabolas of possibilities, so pretty and masculine and feminine at the same time
"Baby, you're like an isosceles triangle. Every side of you is perfectly straight."
> His cock growing even harder
BTW, this is a phalloplasty. I guess Frankendongs are different in Runeterra because he doesn't have a steel rod pumping it up.
> Pure sugar, long slick caramel prostrating itself before him
Raw sugar isn't healthy for you. He's basically calling him a stick of sugarcane.
> > Tasted heady and astringent, pure pussy of flesh and testosterone
This is a real line.
> The size of his small cock perfect for Jayce's lips
Gotta love those two inches.
> His entrance was beautiful for his fingers, tight and warm, slippery like butter, like syrup
Never heard a pussy be compared to a pancake, but here we are.
> He caressed his cunt as if it were a mouth
another real line.
phallo pounding 6.PNG
> Pulling his clit with his teeth
...Ouch.
> It was exciting to create so many ambiguities, to present himself that way to his boyfriend
> Immediately presents himself as a uwu soft, pliant, breakable, pretty white doll that's feminine and cute and small
> Still insists he's a man despite having no traits that remotely clock as masculine
I guess the only 'male' thing is taking it up the ass, but women can do that too, so that doesn't make him any manlier.
phallo pounding 7.PNG
> While preparing his own cock, pumping it well and applying lube to its side, where a scar had almost disappeared
Guess he avoided the whole Lamprey dick incident. I will assume he has the ED - erectile device - because he is 'pumping it well' and will penetrate with it.
> The sparse strands of beard that grew unruly at the corner of his jaw
All that and he only gets the pube beard. Sad!
> On the grown Adam's apple
Testosterone doesn't give you an Adam's apple. Yes, it thickens your vocal chords, but men's voice boxes are shaped differently and are larger, which is why nearly all trans men sound like teenage boys and not grown men.
phallo pounding 8.PNG
> He wasn't exactly gigantic
That's a first.
> He had been made large - molded, created, and worked to perfection
AKA the sliced some flesh from his arm or thigh, created a Coke can flesh tube, debulked it, and then did some 'nerve hookup' so he can only feel some sensation near the base where the buried clitoris is. Other than that, it's literally a cold lump of flesh you're sticking in someone that they aren't even aware they're penetrating someone with.
> It was even pleasant, the sensation of feeling torn
The funny thing is, maybe our little doll here can feel it, but Frankendong cannot. Hard to be 'torn' by something that resembles a lamprey.
> He felt powerful. Nobody else in Piltover, or Runeterra even, could feel this way
Have you asked Mordekaiser what he thinks about this?
> It was divine. Warm, soft, each thrust was a return home
It'd be like entering one of those homes you see that guy doing inspections on: empty, cold, and so shoddily built that there's water in the attic and a puddle next to the electrical box.
phallo pounding 9.PNG
> Took both of his bracelets and tied them around his wrists
Were they uwu friendship bracelets?
> You're too deep
> Acknowledges he might not be going to deep at all and that his partner might be lying out of 'love'
Very masc, and 100% gay, not to rail against your partner for having a floppy dick.
> Jayce was his owner, and Viktor was his doll
> Insists his only duty is to be his doll
Very masc, remaining the property of a fellow FTM who only gets 'male privilege' because they appear more male 🤨
phallo pounding 10.PNG
> Let's his boyfriend use his body to finish
Very masc, to take a receptive role without establishing what you want and how you want it. He's a real gay man, bruh
> His hole blinking
It's probably wondering WTF it just got fucked with.
> The pale skin full of redness
You could say he was becoming a raspberry milkshake.
> Nobody cares about me
😟NOBODY😢CARES🥺ABOUT😔ME
phallo pounding 10.5.PNG


Basically it alleges that a lot of current writers got started in fanfiction and the styles and tropes associated with it have heavily penetrated normal literature, or at least genres of it.
Most of those articles focus only on F/M romances: it is alleged that Red, White, and Royal Blue was based on 'Merthur' fanfic and I guarantee you 'Heated Rivalry' was based on some fanfic as well. The entire Marauders subfandom of Harry Potter came from a fanfic, and there's even an Omegaverse show out. When 'Hannibal' was big ten years ago (man, does time fly) the showrunner, Brian Fuller, was known to read some as did Mads Mikkelsen.

It is said that 'white people treat fandom culture so seriously because it's the only culture they have' and it sure does seem like it. They protect their fandoms with the ease of Germany declaring war against France.
 
30 Hs. There's the Brendaniel Reads reading of it and plenty of shitty readings to boot, but does anyone else recall a reading in an exaggerated (but not necessarily faux) British accent with occasional music? I just remembered it, spent a while searching for it, and now I'm wondering if it's been scrubbed from the internet.

Edit: jinxed myself into failure, if this comment is accurate the originals are all gone
1000004979.jpg
 
In honor of Valentine's Day, dioscums has given us this epic adventure of a nun getting pounded by a priest. Strap in for this 100% purely homosexual cervical smashing! You will never see the Exorcist masturbation scene in the same way after finishing this!
SEXY NUN WHOA.PNG
> Well-known demonologist and exorcist
> Doesn't actually do his job unless the victims are hot
Yes, this is real. He is actually willing to toss aside a case of demonic possession until he gets a look at the victim's face card.
> Sister Viktor
You are going to laugh when you read the excuses for why a trans man is in a convent with nuns - an exclusively female religious order - and why they are entreating his pronouns while saying demonic possession is bad.
> The Council can't really force him to do anything because they need him more than he needs them
I assume this is a reference to the Vatican Council, but women aren't allowed to join that order, either. He'd literally have to get a Papal Bull for him to get off his ass to do something. I know this pervert ain't Lutheran.
SEXY NUN WHOA 2.PNG
> I'd like to believe he's the kind of person to turn heads
Pretty privilege in the case of demonic possession? You don't say.
> He's only doing this because Sister Viktor is really cute when he smiles
Told ya. If this was a girl getting possessed in a backwater favela of, say, Colombia, he wouldn't be interested. It's the white (wo)men he likes.
SEXY NUN WHOA 3.PNG
> Did the nuns lift him up here?
That's actually funny when you think about it: a couple of nuns lifting up another woman who is barely 100 lbs up a set of stairs. They've carried logs that are heavier.
> So much that he chooses to remain with us despite transitioning as a man
You might be thinking: 'why are they so concerned about demonic possession when one of their sisters is committing a sin, that of wearing men's clothes and pretending to be a man?' The answer would be to STFU and stop thinking so hard. Masturbation is a bigger sin than pretending to be the opposite sex. The nuns keep him there and still refer to him with a female honorific because if he were to be called 'Father' and spend time with actual men, he might be raped and we can't have that. Only sexy Hispanics can rape that white pussy, dontchaknow.
SEXY NUN WHOA 4.PNG
> We're individuals of faith, not idiots
New King James Version
“A woman shall not wear anything that pertains to a man, nor shall a man put on a woman’s garment, for all who do so are an abomination to the LORD your God.
> He requested to call a doctor from the city, preferably a male
Oh so we DO know what males are when push comes to shove. Funny how he doesn't want to join a religious order of men but is happy to have a male doctor do a few 'personal examinations' on him.
> He's a trans man in a convent. Do you think those traditional old men at the medical society won't simply dismiss him because of their prejudice?
Is this the same medical society that gave him his testosterone? Because that'd be damned funny if that were the case. He's able to get it, socially and medically transition, AND remain in a religious order exclusively for women because they still know he's female. The fact you won't hand him over to 'prejudiced old men' (and how do you know they're men?) despite him insisting he is actually a man tells me everything.
SEXY NUN WHOA 5.PNG
> Sister Powder even comes to visit to administer his testosterone
And where is he getting that? From the same medical society filled with old, prejudiced men? The same one he requested a hot young male doctor from in order to 'exorcise' his demons?
> Soft but accented masculine voice
> It still sounds female
Can't identify out of that smaller voice box, fam.
SEXY NUN WHOA 6.PNG
"My affliction is of the physical kind and only corrective sex from a male can fix it" - there, that's the fic. It's literally a nun, pretending to be a man, getting the woman fucked back into her.
SEXY NUN WHOA 7.PNG
> Is there any way I can make it up to you?
Oh God, not the cliched porn opening!
> Can't seem to help but notice the evidence gap in the size of his thigh in proportion to Jayce's hand
Lighter than a sack of potatoes, btw. He's really going for the Walmart chicken twink.
SEXY NUN WHOA 8.PNG
> You are an unorthodox nun
That's an understatement; this is a woman, pretending to be a man, who refuses to go to a male order because they might get raped, but wants male physicians and a male priest to 'exorcise' a physical affliction which is just a euphemism for sex.
> Places his palm against Jayce - the difference is striking, causing his breath to hitch
It's those Size 4 ring hands against the yeti punchers.
> Perhaps he has given me to you to conquer
"God has ordained that a man fuck me vaginally in order to purge me of sex demons in something considered homosexual but is actually heterosexual."
SEXY NUN WHOA 9.PNG
> He tries to think of every single unflattering thing to help deflate his boner
> Ends up going outside with said boner in front of the Mother Superior
Lol. Lmao.
SEXY NUN WHOA 10.PNG
I'm sure he has a very thick and girthy Bible to help wriggle that demon out of a tight spot.
God's heterosexual will.PNG
> Unmarked pale skin
I wonder if all the ones he 'exorcised' were white. If so, that means our Latino priest has a fetish.
> I've been plagued by visions at night of a man of the cloth. He sets my soul ablaze and sates my body's thirst
"Hey I saw you on Grindr. I thought I could convert you back to the Lord with my pussy."
God's heterosexual will 2.PNG
> I've been losing focus on my duties because all I can think of is a certain man indulging on my body
The author later writes that he isn't even possessed. The T is just making him horny and only a True and Honest penis owner can fix his woes. God may not approve of the transgender identity, but the heterosexual sex evens it out. It's a flat 0 sin.
> He's pretty sure Mel would be very pissed if they got another harassment complaint
> Be a Latino priest
> You get harassment complaints because you can't stop fucking the young women (notice it's all women not men) you try to help
> You only harass the attractive ones because they're the only ones you offer to help in the first place
You know what they say about stereotypes: there's always a layer of truth to them.
God's heterosexual will 3.PNG
> I find it unusual that the convent has allowed you to stay considering you're male
He isn't. And he is asking a good question about why an FTM doesn't want to go to a male religious order rather than a female one. True to form, Viktor doesn't answer and says 'God doesn't discriminate', when there's an entire verse forbidding women from pretending to be men and vice versa. You aren't cross-dressing for survival; you want to be treated as a man in the church while refusing to be housed with men. I guess those priests aren't sexy enough and won't shove ice cubes up your cooter.
God's heterosexual will 4.PNG
> Viktor would struggle at first, but he'd take it beautifully
"I can fit the entire Deuteronomy chapter on this dick"
> The convent has been nothing but supportive
Wait until they are deemed as heretics from the Church. You're Catholic, not a Presbyterian sect where you have drag queens singing sermons.
God's heterosexual will 5.PNG
> Slick pours out of his hole is a maddening sight
> Slick begins gushing out of him and into the bed
> Lapping up the slick pouring out
> His beard is shiny with slick
All that in a single screenshot. This nun is producing more slick than an upset octopus.
> Musky, sweet, and very addicting
With none of the real-world flavours such as dryness, sourness, and vaginal atrophy. That ain't Lucifer making your vagina dry, babe, it's the T.
> His eyes take in the sight of Jayce's unbelievable physique. It made him wonder if he physically wrangled the demons
Yeah he was just doing it for the Imperium of Man. That's how you can forget this priest has multiple harassment allegations against him but gets away with it because he's hot.
God's heterosexual will 6.PNG
> His thick and throbbing length stands to attention
"I can fit so many harassment reports on this baby"
> Jayce has felt the absence of God since he became studying demonology
> Admits to only taking cases of kids/women who are attractive
> Makes it seem as if he's a sex pest and creep who fucks them afterwards
> Complains God doesn't see him anymore when he's a literal degenerate
> Thinks God has granted him mercy now because he is 'fixing' a trans man by fucking him vaginally
Weird way of thinking TBH.
God's heterosexual will 7.PNG
> He even bleeds a little when Jayce breaches him finally
He shouldn't be bleeding if he's so wet he could fix Brazil's coffee drought problem.
> If Viktor's lips are righteous, sex with him is heaven because being inside him is the closest to God he's been
I'm sure he said the same thing to the other women he forced himself on.
> It's to make sure no accidents happen
Nothing would be manlier than an FTM nun getting pregnant, eh?
> is that what you tell others you've had similar encounters with?
Apparently not if he keeps getting harassment reports. Pretty privilege really keeps one off the sex offender list, eh?
God's heterosexual will 8.PNG
> You're the only one I've ever fucked without a condom. You're the only one I've ever made love with
White pussy really do be hittin' men with commitment, frfr
> You're just horny because of your shots
> I didn't think I would get caught
Hmm yes, developing seizures as a result of testosterone and getting excessively horny are just things you can pass off. Reminder Sky said he was fine despite being a doctor, so unless he fake that seizure, this is just a side-effect of the thing he is taking to 'appear male' despite insisting he is male already and...living among women. 'Taking advantage of the convent's kindness' is an understatement.
God's heterosexual will 9.PNG
I think 'tempting' a fake priest who fucks those in need only when they're hot is vigilante behaviour, but it's tempered by the fact that this is a nun, who wants to be a man, engaging in 'corrective' heterosexual sex with said sex pest priest in the name of homosexuality. If you're confused reading this, don't worry, I was just as confused writing it. It's just that fucked up.

This author says her smut isn't all that good and might be a little OOC. Surely you can forgive such little mistakes, right?
This fic is double-spaced like it's a college essay, and appears much longer than it does. To save my brain and yours, I'll summarize it and then add the 'poorly written and rushed' smut scenes.

It is their first Valentine's Day together as a couple and they are eager to celebrate it. To hammer this point home, the author has both characters say this statement twice - 'I want to celebrate it with you' 'No, I want to celebrate it with you' as if we didn't get the memo the first time around. They head to a nice restaurant where other couples are eating, but it's quiet and not too crowded. Jayce asks how he likes it and Viktor responds that it 'could have been worse' as he dealt with worse growing up in the lanes. They make small talk and Jayce says he has only been on three dates before (two were with women) and is shocked to find out Viktor hasn't gone on any Valentine's Day date before. We have our usual self-deprecating with Viktor in how no one wanted a cripple and how he's 'useless', before Jayce cuts in and says he isn't.

They finish their meal and pay a tip, and head off back home. More small talk occurs between them on how Viktor found his first Valentine's dinner, and he once again uses the 'not great, not terrible' excuse. Jayce makes the 'I love you, I truly love you' confession because, despite dating for a few months, they've never actually done the dirty. They share a deep kiss and Jayce asks if they can finally reach home base. After a brief silence, Viktor agrees, even when he says he has never done this before. Jayce assures him he will guide him and be gentle and that he'll take it slow - something that's said around 3-4 times. They start fondling each other on the couch and there is more 'Can I have you?' and 'Do you want me to do this?' which is sweet, of course, but painfully boring. It's like eating chalk.

They start taking each other's clothes off and Jayce starts kissing down Viktor's body. No description as yet of how white his skin is.
first man.PNG
> You're the first man I've doing this with
> It feels different than doing it with a woman
Newsflash: you are still doing it with a woman, you are just huffing testosterone from a different source. You can tell yourself that a vagina is no longer female provided the owner identifies as a man, but that doesn't make the sex you're having any less heterosexual. Note that he has only exclusively dated women; he isn't actually gay because he hasn't sucked a dick once in his life. I bet you he has never tickled his prostate, either. This is a straight man, having straight sex.
first man 2.PNG
first man 3.PNG
> You say that all the time
> I mean it this time
??? You didn't mean it before?
first man 4.PNG
first man 5.PNG
> He really savored the taste of him
Get used to it, because it's eventually going to taste like sandpaper.
> Viktor did want Jayce, but he also wanted to have him
??? The fuck does this mean? "I want you but I also want you"?
> You're...already hard. You really are desperate to have me
Yes, that is how erections work, genius. You know all the science behind transitioning, but not male erections. Weird, that.
first man 6.PNG
> Did you want to wait, or...?
He just told you to come inside him. Tame that Latino beast, sir.
> A bottle of lube. He figured there was going to be a great time to use it in the future
Why do you need it if he's already wet and good to go? Are you suggesting his pussy is dry?
first man 7.PNG
> Do you want me to take it slow?
> I would prefer it if you took it slow
> I'll be slow and gentle
> He was slow and gentle
I think he's being slow and gentle, guys.
first man 8.PNG
> Come inside me, that's exactly what I want
You said that already.
first man 9.PNG
You have to be nice and slow and gentle with your criticism, guys. Unlike trans pussy, words hit harder than dicks here. They won't get into that front hole and those eight inches that devastate most orifices. It's not terrible, but the essay-type formatting kills me. You can tell this was written and posted from Notes.

This author came back to post after two long years to write about internalized homophobia - from a man exclusively attracted to, and obsessed with, vagina. Also features said man throwing old, crusty cum-covered boxers under his bed with his clean laundry. I bet it smells like a Chinese wet market in his dorm.
underwear obsession.PNG
> his pale skin speckled with moles
White pride, worldwide, baby.
> Viktor with his arm around a girl his age, hair made of tight curls
> He wonders if she is Viktor's girlfriend back home
Nope, that's just Sky, and we don't tolerate niggers in our trans yaoi.
underwear obsession 2.PNG
> The thought alone makes something in his chest twist up, something nasty and suffocating that he had never felt before
"FUCKING NIGGER IS STEALING MY MAN HOW DARE HE"
> The fabric feels softer on his skin
What, he isn't buying manly, rough material? He's buying the soft, downy shit?
> They hardly even talk, but here he is imagining what sounds Viktor would make if Jayce was pounding him into the mattress, fingers digging hard into his bony hips
I imagine you tenderizing a piece a Walmart chicken thigh. The Walmart chicken twink curse strikes again.
underwear obsession 3.PNG
> Sweet but refined like old books with hints of floral, but muskier
That's not what 'floral' means. Why does his t-addled vagina smell like flowers? Old books smell like wood pulp. His pussy smells like wood pulp and lily-of-the-valley?
> He swears he can taste Viktor's sweet cunt on it
Does it taste like chugging an YSL perfume bottle?
underwear obsession 4.PNG
> Stuffs it under his bed, hiding it under a pile of blankets his mother insisted he bring when the nights get cold
Nice. Nothing like making fresh blankets smell like brine and spam because you can't waste cum-addled underwear.
underwear obsession 5.PNG
underwear obsession 6.PNG
> Picks up some cotton green boxers that has Jayce wondering what that one would look like covered in cum
> Insists he is not a pervert and certainly not gay, despite only being attracted to vagina, masturbating to the thought of entering a vagina, and tasting vagina. "I am certainly not gay. Why, me tasting this delectable floral vaginal juice makes me the gayest of men."
underwear obsession 7.PNG
> Wondering what it would feel like if it was his fingers thrusting into his wet heat instead
Knowing he's got those yeti punchers, it'd be like fucking a tight sock puppet.
underwear obsession 8.PNG
> He holds himself back from jut going over there and making him finish over and over again
There's that Lusty Latino we all know and love!
> Long pale limbs exposed
We know he's white, thank you.
underwear obsession 9.PNG
> Get your hands off me
"GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY NON-EXISTENT PENIS!"
> He's not sure he could stop himself anyway
It's just biology, bro: the Latino HAS to rape/assault/be rough with the fragile white (wo)man because it's in nature to breed such a fragile uwu thing.
> How good his big firm hand feels on his frail wrist
"Viktor is pale and fragile" ahh line.
underwear obsession 10.PNG
> He sucks them with a groan somewhere between relief and hunger. The taste of him on his bony fingers
Me when I am struggling to enjoy a KFC thigh
> Eyes are focused like a predator to prey
These ladies really love making the Latino the predator. It almost sounds like there's an innate bias, or something.
hole flutter.PNG
> Did you really think I wouldn't hear you from 10 feet away? Or did you want to be heard?
Yeah, he was trying to bait his 'totally not gay' roommate struggling with 'internalized homophobia' into fucking his pussy.
> His dripping hole to his cock
Anything to make us pretend this isn't heterosexual sex, eh?
hole flutter 2.PNG
> Drinking up Viktor's nectar so obscenely it has Viktor squirming and whimpering
This nigga really is a hummingbird.
> Giving it a soft nibble that has him keening off the bed
Ouch.
> It's not the first time he's eaten pussy. Far from it, actually
Funny you write that, because you have a tag on 'internalized homophobia'. That implies a closeted gay man who is trying to have sex with women to erase his attraction to men, and yet he actually LOVES eating pussy and is exclusively attracted to it. Sucking dick? ❌NO BUENO❌Using toys on himself?❌NO ES BUENO❌Prostate play?❌NO BUENO❌Masturbating to the thought of pussy to the point your cum stains your shower walls? ✔BUENO✔
hole flutter 3.PNG
> I need to loosen you up if you're gonna take me
Yes, he has a 'long and thick cock' because the 'cis male' Latino is always packing while the pale and fragile pooner has a t-dick the size of a marble. Always a classic.
hole flutter 4.PNG
> The idea of being penetrated was never appealing to him
> The dysphoria makes it worse
> He's perfectly fine having his V-card taking from his hot, sexy roommate with a big dick because 'That's Different'
Logic. They really will lie on their backs and have the woman fucked back into them if you're hot enough.
> It's not even surprising given how big and strong Jayce is as a person
Height =/= penile size. It's the 2D:4D ratio. Smaller men can have huge dicks and large men can have small ones. You have to win the genetic lottery for the meat packing plant down there.
> He must be the only person on campus to still have his V-card
More and more college students are rejecting hookup culture and high IQ students are more likely to be virgins. There's no shame in it. Many high IQ students end up marrying their partners and work in their chosen fields. It's not the campus of orgies that media likes to paint it.
hole flutter 5.PNG
> Not to mention his other array of issues
That never seem to include vaginal dryness or atrophy, btw. They are always squirting up entire reservoirs of water, even as virgins.
> Do you want this? do you want me?
Do you really think he's in a position to refuse?
hole flutter 6.PNG
> How many times had he imagined this?
Twice, because the author wrote it twice already. She'll later make it thrice.
hole flutter 7.PNG
> He's never felt anything like it and wishes he could be here forever
"Wow, am I ever struggling with my inner homosexuality by thinking sex with a virginal pussy is the best thing on earth."
hole flutter 8.PNG
> You imagined this?
Yes, and the author has written about it three times already.
hole flutter 9.PNG
> He always thought himself difficult to love, all sharp angles, bony limbs, snarky comments
I wasn't aware Taylor Swift wrote songs about isosceles triangles.
> The only thing he can really relate it to is having to pee
Nothing like making a virgin squirt for the first time. You know the women writing this would love to have a hung Latino do it to them.
hole flutter 10.PNG
> Neglected cock again and rubbing firm circles over it
"Man, am I ever such a great gay man. Look at me rubbing this clitoris and arguing to myself it's a cock. I'll never go back to pussy after this!"
> im
When you are so horny you forget to write 'I'm' properly.
> Squirt gushes out of him as his orgasm slams into him like a train
Because every virgin gushes like a train on the first try. They're more gifted than Jesus, ffs.

Someone slams on the door telling them to shut the fuck up because they have exams in the morning, and they have a nice laugh and tell each other that they love each other. Jayce picks him up and puts him in his bed and then wipes off the cum between Viktor's thighs with his cum-stained underwear. Gross. Viktor also remarks that this is perverted and Jayce laughs it off. The health inspector sure won't and neither will the CDC when the new case of cum COVID comes from there.

Anyone here like D&D? This is not a Baldur's Gate fic but dioscums wants to get into the RPG scene. There are some elements of WoW here too. Lines for this fic include:
- He can't help but think how his tits are just as shy as him: always wishing to be hidden from plain sight and having to be dragged out to play.
- His ass is tight and velvety with the goal of choking his thick cock to milk it for all it's worth, while his pussy is a warm and wet embrace that eases his cum straight into his cervix.
subby demon king.PNG
subby demon king 2.PNG
> His is capability to control magic to a certain degree
And yet, he can't give himself a penis. In any case, one gets the impression this is a LARP in VRchat, because those pop-ups do not appear in real-life, but then devolves into an actual Live Action sex play that is based on a Medieval setting. Yes, it's as confusing as it sounds.
subby demon king 3.PNG
> He had figured out the Eldritch creature had a mortal form when he cast Restrain in an attempt to buy time and heal himself
Wow, I didn't expect this kind of mod.
subby demon king 4.PNG
> Just because he's some big-shot royal knight now doesn't mean he should forget his roots
Nigga, you are playing a NSFW mod of WoW. You are on a computer. This isn't real life.
> From a big kingdom somewhere north of Runeterra
Runeterra is the planet. Valoran is the continent. Big difference.
> He would've taken Viktor as his bride
Note the language here: he wants a bride, not a groom, despite these people insisting TMAM. Those mum pums make good tradwives, I see.
subby demon king 5.PNG
Now this has turned into a Meet'n'Fuck game with the floating hands telling you where to touch the sexy anime babe.
subby demon king 6.PNG
> A hand covering his mouth
He can't do that. His hands are chained up.
> Humble tunic and leather pants
I blame GOT for this because knights didn't wear leather pants. They wore linen ones.
subby demon king 7.PNG
> Bruises from all the fighting he's had to do all his life
Is this a LARP, or an actual live-action experience? Is he playing on a computer or not?
> Unmarked milky skin
We love our white skin, don't we, folks?
> Pinkish inverted nipples
...He's an innie?
subby demon king 8.PNG
> Can't help but think his tits are just as shy as him
This is a real line.
> He licks and kiss the scars under his chest before flicking each slick and swollen bud with his thumbs
So glad he got those inverted nipples to come out. It's like popping out the valve from an inflatable pool toy.
> Already opening his inventory to take a small bottle of oil
I really can't tell if this is a NSFW mod or if he just has a portable inventory like it's Rust.
subby demon king 9.PNG
> It's Jayce's favourite place - the tunnel of Viktor's tight heat that always welcomes him like a possessive lover
He has a mod where it's always squeaky clean and you don't need an enema.
> He's got three thick fingers inside Viktor's perfect and talented ass already
This is a real line.
> He decides to switch their positions, sitting Viktor on his lap with his back against Jayce's chest
Glad he got those magical chains off that were preventing his eldtrich self from repossessing his body.
subby demon king 10.PNG
> His asshole is leaking blobs of cum
...from who? Did Jayce finish already?
tight and velvety.PNG
> Jayce pulled out of his asshole to dip inside his pussy
> Something about stuffing Viktor's ass and then his pussy then doing the same thing over and over again is thrilling
> His ass is tight and velvety with the goal of choking his thick cock to milk it for all its worth
This is a real line. Also, this is indeed VR because I was going to comment on how doing that IRL will give you a nasty STD. This is legit a WoW Meet'n'Fuck game with some fancy mods, so you can suspend your disbelief a little.
> His pussy is a warm and wet embrace that eases Jayce's cum straight into his cervix
The mod is called 'The Dyson vacuum' and it has that cervix suck it up with maximum efficiency.
> The popping sound of each gaping hole refusing to let Jayce go is better than any high in the world
effective use of sound in writing, I must say.
> He wasn't even sure if he could make Viktor squirt
Uh, haven't you had sex before? Shouldn't this be a given?
tight and velvety 2.PNG
> He's forced Viktor into thrice the usual number of orgasms he has on average
Keep at it and you'll get maximum loot.
> Almost looks like he's lactating
> Immediately fantasizes about making the demon king a tradwife who has his four kids
So. What happens if we introduce a 'Blood and Cheese' mod?
tight and velvety 3.PNG
Oh, nice. If you summon him while fighting the Demon King the game will end, with the Colonel Campbell shouting over the codex: 'You can't do that! You've created a time paradox!'
tight and velvety 4.PNG
> VR headset
Damn, I bet he wishes he could've gotten both holes plowed, eh?
tight and velvety 5.PNG
> They're best friends
> One of their co-workers used their face models in a NSFW game that will be sold to an adult audience
> They are not creeped out or think it crosses boundaries
Oh I don't think you're friends.
tight and velvety 6.PNG
> AI assistant
That's not very woke of you. Using technology that kills the environment and is seen as the greatest insult to individual coders and artists? Man, I can't wait for you to get cancelled on Twitter!
> It's illegal how good Jayce looks in grey sweatpants - now everyone will be able to see the outline of his thick cock
Sweatpants are meant to be loose. You make it seem as if he's wearing yoga pants.
> Jayce makes it so easy to have sex with someone who isn't even his lover before going back to work
> Wishes he could know his secret
He's male. Men can have hookups like that and not give a shit, while women form emotional connections. All that work to identify as a man and you can never be on the level of fucking random strangers in a park in the dead of night for fun and go back to work at a coffee shop the next morning.
> HEX is an AI assistant they created to run their game's system
So Palantir but for Meet'n'fuck games. OK.
tight and velvety 7.PNG
> The AI needs to be trained by humans thoroughly to understand how each character thinks
But it's a bad thing when it scrapes your AO3 account, yeah?
> Because someone from the design team decided on a whim to model the characters on her bosses
She'd still need to ask permission because she can get sued for that. You can't use someone else's likeness without asking them, especially in a porn game. They'd be in DeepFake territory.
> It turns out that the true villain was the charming and hardworking knight
So Kefka from FF VI, albeit he's a knight instead of a clown and he 'did it for love' vs the love of the game.
tight and velvety 8.PNG
Best friends don't masturbate to each other's likeness in a Meet'n'Fuck game, homie.
tight and velvety 9.PNG
Dmitri is going to need to call the CDC because lord knows what kind of shit is on that desk. It'd be a real 28 Days Later situation but instead of rage, everyone becomes horny, unstoppable sex beasts.

All in all, dioscums' stuff isn't exactly nightmare fuel, but they are funny. Some of them don't take themselves seriously, like this one, but others like the nun one make me roll my eyes. She does provide some quotable material, but she's not on prettybadmagic's level. The 13 inch cowboy one she did is still legendary.

30 Hs. There's the Brendaniel Reads reading of it and plenty of shitty readings to boot, but does anyone else recall a reading in an exaggerated (but not necessarily faux) British accent with occasional music? I just remembered it, spent a while searching for it, and now I'm wondering if it's been scrubbed from the internet.

Edit: jinxed myself into failure, if this comment is accurate the originals are all gone
View attachment 8563317
That would be manwithoutabody. He did the dramatic reading with a faux British accent and also did the self-insert 'My Inner Life'. He was known for having a sound clip every time 'pleasure' was used in that fic, something that I do in his honour. His channel ended up being deleted. He also did 'Masters of the Universe' which was the OG Twilight fanfic that became '50 Shades of Grey'. The Wayback Machine has archives of his channel here, where you can see he did the dramatic reading. Unfortunately it seems to be a video people didn't save, so even on archived websites you can't find it.
 
Back
Top Bottom