🗑️ Trashfire StyxHexenhammer666 / Tarl Warwick - Oddball Occultist Neckbeard (who can make some interesting content) + his many scorned exes

Paul Revere Pantry Raider said:
Yeah, it's beautiful in a way.

A man is walking through a field and falls into a deep, dark well. He lands at the bottom, bruised but alive. He looks up and sees a circle of light far above.

People pass by and hear his cries. They lean over the edge and shout, "Friend, we have a rope! Reach out and grab it!" They drop a sturdy rope down to him. The man looks at the rope, then looks at the dirt at his feet. He reaches into his pocket, pulls out a small hand trowel, and begins to dig.

"No!" the people shout. "Don't dig! You're making it deeper! Just grab the rope!"

The man ignores them. He digs faster. He thinks to himself, 'These people don't understand the dirt like I do. If I dig deep enough, I’ll find the secret way out that they are too blind to see.'

More people arrive. They bring a ladder. They bring a winch. They bring professional rescuers. They plead with him to stop digging, explaining that the deeper he goes, the less likely the rope will reach him.

The man looks up, wipes the sweat from his brow, and screams, "You're all just jealous of my hole!" and he continues to dig until the light from the surface is nothing but a tiny, mocking needle-point of white in a sea of absolute black.
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"No no, dig up stupid!"
 
Fields Of Rye said:
THE KIWI COUNCIL HAS DECLARED A TEMPORARY ALLIANCE BETWEEN ALL WITCHES AND WARLOCKS FOR THE CUCKING OF STOLAS. ALL LUNAR BLOOD WITCH COVENS. GO. ALL INCEL SUICIDE WOTAN PACTS. GO. WHERE WE GO ONE WE GO ALL. STOLAS BINDING SEA RITUAL. GO. COUNTERCURSE PROXY SCURVY DICK STEALING RITUAL. GO. ACTIVATION CODE HARRY POTTER. GO!

Oh my god are you fucking kidding me what are the odds.

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WE HAVE REPORTS THE FOODIE BEAUTY THREAD HAVE SUMMONED THE FUCKING WORM MOON. STOLAS THE OWL DEMON IS BEING LURED AWAY BY THE LUNAR ENERGY. MAH GAWD STYX IS WIDE OPEN.
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I, the powerful kiwi archmage Manchesterius, will lead a grand ritual for tomorrow's blood moon. A work of spellcraft that Styx is not a powerful enough wizard to ever perform. This is will become obvious upon reading the details of the ritual below:

The ritual begins where I wake up and cleanse myself with a shower and use the mystic art of brushing my teeth. I will then go to my place of employment and initiate the arcane practice of being a productive member of society, during the peak of this called "Lunch Hour" I will speak to my cabal of friends I have in real life. Upon completing this labor of concentration I will go lift weights and consume an elixir of protein powder and water. I will then return to call Styx a retard in his thread before ending the ritual with a second shower and begin my slumber at a reasonable hour. Of course, this complex ritual must be completed while completely sober!

I invite any wizard or warlock powerful enough to complete this ritual as well to increase the power of the blood moon and felt Tarl.
 
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Mortifyer said:
I have never simped for Tarl. Quite the opposite,
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Bruh STFU.

You have been defending Shtyx, simping, and ball cleaning his undercarriage for hours, page after page.

The last thing we need is another 6-page dissertation outlining all of the reasons you aren't doing what you actually are doing.

TLDR.
 
Crazy that we’re getting to the point that Styx of all people is becoming a lolcow fugitive from justice.

Can’t believe how much this dude fell off, I really considered him to be one of sanest, least annoying online political commentators out there for awhile. He really lost his mojo after the 2020 election though, and it just became obvious that he was phoning it in and grifting superchat money off of his audience of Facebook boomers after awhile. I always thought Styx would just fade into a being a stoned weirdo who just obliviously livestreams to an audience of 10 people, never would’ve thought he’d have the balls to do anything crazy or wind up in jail (outside of maybe getting caught with drugs).

It really is fascinating that we get to witness over-and-over how even a relatively small amount of attention, money, and pussy can cause miniature rock-musician style degenerate flameouts to happen. Ego is a hell of a thing.
 
Mortifyer said:
I have expressed my personal opinion on the American legal system publishing what we would consider too private where I am from. I think I have the rights to do that? No? Considering most Americans go on and on about freedom of speech.
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Too bad Styx didn't go to jail in Amsterdam, where they would give him a free dorm room and a free haircut and occupational training before they let him go early for good behavior.

As for free speech, no, that's only for Americans. Sorry, you need a 1st amendment for free speech and a 2nd amendment to protect that free speech and your country doesn't have those things, so you automatically lose every time.
 
As one of the few people with access to the Pirates of the Caribbean deep lore, we need the Spanish Navy to take out Tarl.
And by that, I mean that I've watched more than just the original three films. May God have mercy on my wretched soul.

They show up to the final fight of Stranger Tides, 2 v 1 the other two factions, kill a soldier who claims the Fountain of Youth for England while praising his bravery, destroy the Fountain of Youth while stating that "Only God can grant eternal life", and then square off against one of the most feared pirates of all time (who is also a wizard in the movie, bizarrely enough).

Or just get like, a Mall cop with a tazer, and they'd still probably be able to take down Cpt Warwick.
 
Lukie said:
God please have Dog The Bounty Hunter rise from his grave for just one more job lmao
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Fuck that. I wanna see Midwest Safety or Code Blue Cam submit a public records request for the bodycam footage of Tarl's arrest.
 
Dizzyuntildeath said:
I am 100% on board with Mel and Nikki doing Weekend at Bernie's with Tarl's corpse.
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The exes should put a bounty on getting him turned in to the police, and collect some fat cash with a GSGo bounty raising page once they get him captured.

I would leave Mel out of it, though; she's retarded and will just act as a narc feeding intel to Shhtyx so he can avoid capture.
 
Paul Revere Pantry Raider said:
Yeah, but Nikki is going to have to animate both of them. Seems more like a stoner movie at this point unless you bring on Jeff Dunham.
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Unironically Mel sounds and acts more intelligently than Nikki does.
Mel is retarded, yes, but not so retarded that she decides living in her car is primo lifestyle choice America #1 good times forever.
 
I just got off the phone with Commodore Norrington and Van Helsing. They don’t have him yet, but the net is closing in. They couldn’t elaborate, but I feel that Stolas tipped them off. The bird demon went stool pigeon.
 
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