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With a (questionable) W from James Drake, how would you rate season 5 of Fishtank?

  • 1 Star — Absolute disaster. Unwatchable, boring, production fucked it up bad, the fish were lame

    Votes: 56 7.3%
  • 2 Stars — Pretty bad. Some funny moments, dragged, too many vibe repair days. Barely worth checking.

    Votes: 87 11.4%
  • 3 Stars — Average. Solid entertainment in spots, some good chaos and crashouts, but nothing special

    Votes: 168 22.0%
  • 4 Stars — Really good. Lots of hilarious moments, strong fish personalities, solid content and vibes

    Votes: 405 53.1%
  • 5 Stars — Peak Fishtank / Masterpiece. Non-stop insanity, legendary fish and production, pure chaos

    Votes: 47 6.2%

  • Total voters
    763
It's week one, two contestants are already out, just hold out on eliminating..? Use to gaslight them.
Week one of four though, this season is naturally going to be faster paced. Even S4 which was supposed to be for 6 weeks had a proper elimination week one.
 
Would a later season quick one-event cameo by Jason Goldstriker add or subtract from the season as a whole? I think the fish would theoretically appreciate Sam popping in but as has been said the vibe is good partly because he’s not here so I wonder if one appearance would derail things or be a fun diversion.
Sam is gonna come in with his own ideas. It will be funny but it will also progress the house more into hellhouse. I also feel like hes gonna distrupt alot of bam and jets plans ending up with the fish feeling like the challenges are aimless and not worth the hassle.
 
Would a later season quick one-event cameo by Jason Goldstriker add or subtract from the season as a whole? I think the fish would theoretically appreciate Sam popping in but as has been said the vibe is good partly because he’s not here so I wonder if one appearance would derail things or be a fun diversion.
I think a day of Sam hanging out and having a one-on-one with each contestant could be fun. Good luck getting him to leave New England though.
 
Would a later season quick one-event cameo by Jason Goldstriker add or subtract from the season as a whole? I think the fish would theoretically appreciate Sam popping in but as has been said the vibe is good partly because he’s not here so I wonder if one appearance would derail things or be a fun diversion.
Fuck no, he's going to derail it with his massive ego and "vision"
Week one of four though, this season is naturally going to be faster paced. Even S4 which was supposed to be for 6 weeks had a proper elimination week one.
Old TV programs used to milk it for like 80-100 days, but I guess they weren't torturing people with TTV so there's that. Fine, I hope they get rid of the normie blonde zoomer, he thus far has added nothing to the show.
 
Screenshot 2026-03-20 081500.jpg

Vicky is sleeping with a beer in her hand in the jungle room. :story:
 
I think a day of Sam hanging out and having a one-on-one with each contestant could be fun. Good luck getting him to leave New England though.
Where is this season located? Also, it's weird that Sam is so drawn to New England, which is empirically the worst part of the US.
Fuck no, he's going to derail it with his massive ego and "vision"

Old TV programs used to milk it for like 80-100 days, but I guess they weren't torturing people with TTV so there's that. Fine, I hope they get rid of the normie blonde zoomer, he thus far has added nothing to the show.
Emma is the most boring cast member and I'm already tired of everyone Pepe Silviaing her up like she's some Svengali type character when the much simpler explanation is that she's boring and basic.
 
Bashir is a hatable character a lot like Simbal but unlike Simbal he isnt Indian so not a total sex pest blinded by needing to do the needful and instead actually plays the villain role.
 
Where is this season located? Also, it's weird that Sam is so drawn to New England, which is empirically the worst part of the US.

Emma is the most boring cast member and I'm already tired of everyone Pepe Silviaing her up like she's some Svengali type character when the much simpler explanation is that she's boring and basic.
She did help kick off Indian drama and hanged out with Vicky in the shop or something. Seems to me that she at least tried, JD has been missing for an entire day. From start he's just been hanging around and zoomering in the side view.
 
Would a later season quick one-event cameo by Jason Goldstriker add or subtract from the season as a whole? I think the fish would theoretically appreciate Sam popping in but as has been said the vibe is good partly because he’s not here so I wonder if one appearance would derail things or be a fun diversion.
Put him on the jeetbot for a day. Keep the rose.
 
Words Vicky doesn't know list status(update):
  • Amend
  • Tenacity
  • Offense
Vicky had to ask Emma to confirm that there are 60 minutes in an hour at one point and Emma turned to the camera and gave a "Is this bitch for real?" expression.

I like Emma. All of the Vicky content is really her doing from gassing her up and she plays the challenges better than most. I would prefer if Anisa and JD were the first to go. Followed by Bashir.
 
Ben opens the market around 2:30AM. Late market is pretty comfy and everyone wanders in to get some things.
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The market is so Kino. And not just the concept but the design, the little details like the CRT TV, it is just very well done.

I wonder if this will be the last season. Maybe it's just Jet + Ben lightening in a bottle, but I would tune in to anything these two make from now on. And keep Sam out.
 
Also, it's weird that Sam is so drawn to New England, which is empirically the worst part of the US.
He would rather be a “big” fish in a little pond. Or maybe flying under the radar so no one he respects would ever even notice him enough to judge him.

There is something about him that makes him incredibly uncomfortable with any kind of rise in success. His ego is to blame, but that isn’t the cause. I know you retards are going to point to that, but it’s a deeper psychological issue WITH his ego.

He has constantly self-sabotaged every bit of mild success he has had. He couldn’t even handle a podcast with Harlan, which if it had gone well would have lead to a more podcasts and more main stream attention. He can excuse it away all he wants, but had that gone well Nick wouldn’t have been on Kill Tony by himself. (I still find it hilarious that Nick was invited to do it explicitly without Sam.)

The second he got attention from Saint Rogies with his new “talk show”, he ruins it by turning it into nothing by poor attempts at comedy, interviewing clearly insane people, and completely dropping off his “every Saturday night” schedule.

Rate me dumb for sperging about it here and not his own thread. But, as many others have said, Fishtank will do better the further he stays away from it.
 
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She did help kick off Indian drama and hanged out with Vicky in the shop or something. Seems to me that she at least tried, JD has been missing for an entire day. From start he's just been hanging around and zoomering in the side view.

I suspect it's going to be Bashir or Vicky, because they are threats, but JD and Emma are the most boring so I want them gone as an audience member.

The Wigger crew is incredibly good at fucking up action shots, but here's JD physically fighting Bashir's snake against Drake's plant when he had to help the robot on day 4:

jd-bashir-day4-pt1.jpgjd-bashir-day4.jpg
 
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If there's any clips I can show on my podcast that's funny without context and less than 5 minutes in length let me know, otherwise I'll just cover it in brief.
 
If there's any clips I can show on my podcast that's funny without context and less than 5 minutes in length let me know, otherwise I'll just cover it in brief.

 
If there's any clips I can show on my podcast that's funny without context and less than 5 minutes in length let me know, otherwise I'll just cover it in brief.


Neptunian Kino (the guy on the toilet is a freeloader, i.e. not a contestant, and friend of Bam)

Landon (the janitor, who prior to the show survived solely on cheese fries) eating shit after a night of drinking and crawling out of bed to the bar.

They pay an Indian to drive a robot around the house every day and Emma asked her a question.

They were tasked with taking care of plants. The muslim, of course, flips out and destroys them.

Adding some condiments to Bashir's quran. (Also shout out to the guy that initially uploaded this to the thread for managing to make this 30 second clip 500 fucking megabytes, truly an achievement)
 
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If there's any clips I can show on my podcast that's funny without context and less than 5 minutes in length let me know, otherwise I'll just cover it in brief.





some muzzie hate too

 
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