Minecraft

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The new slime is literally a ball made so everyone can play le funny minigames on Realms and play basketball on our beloved Bedrock servers.
 
Lasagna4Dead said:
I haven't laughed this hard in a while, as soon as I saw them tease the deep dark portal, then a bait and switch by saying MINECREAFT DUNGEONS 2 fuck me man that is so funny, literally have downscale their scope to just 1 biome and 1 mob per 4 months lmaoooo
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Oh don't worry, the deep dark portal will be soon active.
FOR THE APRIL FOOL UPDATE!
1 crappy biome, 2 McDonald themed stone recolours, poison water that isn't really poisonous and a dogshit mob that isn't gonna be aggressive because agnes is a jew and jeb a fag.
 
The new mob feels like a Bedrock addon or something you'd find on their featured servers. And the new biome is something anyone could have added. Hell, I think even someone on the Marketplace can do a more interesting biome
 
Coolio55 said:
Poetic irony in the next update LITERALLY adding brimstone.
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i mean we already have coal, might as well add brimstone niggerhell too.
Angelicaster said:
The new mob feels like a Bedrock addon or something you'd find on their featured servers. And the new biome is something anyone could have added. Hell, I think even someone on the Marketplace can do a more interesting biome
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they are really out of ideas for the moment, nevermind the fact that they have a fucking suggestion page.
 
Another few decoration blocks and a mob specifically designed for minigames that can be played by streamers and youtubers. Great.
Behead these lazy ass Mojang devs and bring in a thousand brahmin vibecoders - The quality and output would actually improve at a fraction of the cost of "real swedes" and only 10x the smell (don't worry, they are in Sweden so no one will care).
 
StacticShock said:
nevermind the fact that they have a fucking suggestion page.
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Maybe they should consdier finishing their half-assed updates.
Just look at the archeology : pottery isn't something I hate, I just wish they added different pots, a nether variant that used nether brick even nether sherds, otherwise it feels incomplete.
The sniffer? Great looking mob! Too bad its completely useless once you get the 2 different flowers, is it too much to add more seeds and give him an extra use? Like dropping meat or sniffing truffles?
The pale garden. It look like shit and you don't want to traverse it. How about a reason to explore and engage with it? Like a structure?
They re-textured the killer bunny, nice! Does it means we get him to spawn in the overworld? Maybe in some kind of basic bitch structure containnig only the rabbit, a skull and a chest/pot with loot?
Even if we don't touch the elephant in the room that is the End, Its fucking miserable to see these worthless faggots fuck up with the concept of "endless possibilities".
Molokroid said:
Behead these lazy ass Mojang devs and bring in a thousand brahmin vibecoders
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Bold from you to assume mojang hasn't already replaced its programmers with pajeets, the only reason agnes wasn't gang raped is because even jeets find her repulsive.
 
Coolio55 said:
"We added hot springs but they mildly inconvenience you".
Genuinely confused on how they came up with that one.
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I think there are similar lakes in the shitty mulan remake, so it could be a china thing, or a yellowstone thingy, I don't really know
Coolio55 said:
The Cinnabar is nice for some ancient China builds though.
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I much prefer red nether bricks or mangrove wood for that, these could benefit to have extra variety (and a structure made out of them) instead of recolouring deepslate blocks.
Another addition I want would be blue nether bricks built with nether sproudts and bricks.
Seriously, it would be nice to get some smaller structure, rather than new shitty biomes.

Actually, let me describe what structure I would like to see: an abandoned tent or hut that hints at someone else passing before the player who didn't get too far.
Said tent/hut should be a very rare and found only in one of the new biomes mohjang made (deep dark, underground caves, even the nether and pale garden) contain a pot made out of 3 bricks and 1 unique sherd, containing food, and item frame with a random valuable item (enchanted book, enchanted golden apple, diamond...) and a chest with minor loot + 1 or 2 rare items.
Have 1 or 2 stronger (armored + armed) zombies with some minor visual flair spawn alongside said tent, and the would think would make for a short, somber story to tell.
Also, it would be an opportunity to rework wood carpets or add a similar block that can be placed at an angle, similar to railroads, that would be nice and could be used to fix stuff like that ugly shit around pillager outposts.
 
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Sulfur is a material with tons of uses, what has Mojang done with it? Decorative blocks, nausea water and a literal ball. If sulfur had more uses then this biome would have a purpose outside of le funny minigames.

Now that I think, the sulfur slime should have been an hostile mob that drops sulfur so it can get farmed. If they really wanted to please the Stradew Tranny fans they could have added a honey slime or even the tropical slime from Dungeons, it would have fit that role better than a sulfur slime.

Also Agnes is a fucking hypocrite, you can't add fireflies because is poisonus for the frogs, but allowing children to make houses with toxic materials? Sure, go ahead!
 
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Angelicaster said:
Also Agnes is a fucking hypocrite, you can't add fireflies because is poisonus for the frogs, but allowing children to make houses with toxic materials? Sure, go ahead!
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Cadmium green blocks and acid rain update next! They could even work it into an anti pollution or a fossil fuel = evil update - i.e. burning low quality fuels like wood has negative effects or something.
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Before the weekend I saw potential leaks for the sulfur update and I was 50/50 on them being credible vs methhead works cited. I guess playing modded has spoiled me for content as I was expecting the sulfur to have a gameplay mechanic or be part of a new nether/overworld biome with volcanoes. Of course, it is just a few block replacements in caves that do the same thing as diorite/andesite/granite but yellow and red. Finally a game that is ready to properly build the coming red Chinese century.

Below are a few of the leaks/teases that turned out to be true (Posted on Friday):
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[Reddit] [Archive]

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[Reddit] [Archive]

Lets get some live redditor reactions: [Reddit] [Archive]
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A lot of the comments are not directly calling out the lazyness, rather they are optimistically saying the devs are just releasing headline features (new blocks and a biome) and then when they are closer to release they will totally add new stuff like a "sulfur plains biome" and "explosives" or new uses for sulfur like "tarnishing copper" after they get feedback and test it a bit. Hopefully my skepticism will be proved wrong but only time will tell.

MC Live Formula: Reveal major feature -> get feedback -> develop idea to snapshots -> release
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They totally plan to add more stuff guys trust me
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Biome sperging
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Thats it?
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Angelicaster said:
Now that I think, the sulfur slime should have been an hostile mob that drops sulfur so it can get farmed.
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Even if they for whatever reason can't add a new mob drop, they could still do other things. Its a mob in a cave that's presumably going to be hopping around mobs that want to kill you, so make it possible to explode it into a poison sulfur cloud somehow, either just on death or by killing it in a specific way if that's too annoying. The "turn this mob into a ball to whack around" thing isn't even unique. You can do it with armadillos and they won't die if you use your fists or wooden weapons.

Whatever rules they have about mob design are bizarre. One update they'll add frogs and froglights which have a unique but really tedious way to get, then the next you just find the new ghast laying on the ground and it has absolutely nothing to do with the original.

Also, still no andesite/granite/diorite bricks.
 
Lasagna4Dead said:
I haven't laughed this hard in a while, as soon as I saw them tease the deep dark portal, then a bait and switch by saying MINECREAFT DUNGEONS 2 fuck me man that is so funny, literally have downscale their scope to just 1 biome and 1 mob per 4 months lmaoooo
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Shows they know exactly what people want (an actually meaningful update that adds more than a biome and mob) but would rather pull a George R.R. Martin and go "sorry, I'm working on something else instead, but you'll totally get The Winds of Winter a meaningful update to the Deep Dark soon" is just hilarious.
 
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