Foreword
I wasn’t sure whether to write this as a bunch of individual posts or as one big document so excuse any grammatical mistakes that I may make throughout this post.
Reddit Archives
Introduction
For anyone out of the loop, some internet detectives began digging back through the Reddit archives and discovered posts that were made from my Reddit account prior to it being wiped clean a few years back, since I know this will be a talking point eventually I’ve decided to address it now. I’m not going to sit here and say “oh that wasn’t me”, “you’re taking everything out of context”, because that wouldn’t get us anywhere. Those posts were from me, and I’m not here to explain away what I said back then, but I do want to talk about the mindset I was in and the journey I’ve been on over the 6 years since then.
Racist Comments
One of the primary focuses of the archive were on some racist comments I made towards Muslims, and my flagrant use of slurs at the time (I should note, unless I’m misremembering not directed at any individuals). Growing up in online gaming communities (notably Call Of Duty lobbies), living in a pretty normal working class family, it was really common for me and my friends to say the most heinous shit to each other for the sake of shock value. It didn’t matter who you are, where you come from, everyone that’s a friend is treated equally harshly, that’s just the way it was growing up where I did.
As I moved into late high school and my early adult life I started getting myself caught up in internet forums like Reddit and this communication does not translate into a public setting around people you don’t know, and by that point I was simply being an edgy boy for the sake of being an edgy boy. None of this is to excuse the way I was acting at the time or write off the people who may have read those comments and were hurt but a general apology after 6 - 10 years is just going to come off incredibly hollow. I want to be very clear though, especially now, I do not hate anyone of any other cultures for the reason of where they grew up or their family heritage. I may still say something that comes off insensitive today but now that’s certainly not my intention.
Transphobic Comments
I’m not sure on the exact point in time but somewhere in the early 2010’s the idea of being trans was first seeing some mainstream attention, at the time and up till about 6 years ago I said some incredibly mean shit. For this, there is even less of a reason, I didn’t know anyone who was trans, whether that be in my personal life, my school life, or my early work life a few years later, and I simply did not understand what being trans was at the time. What I did have in my life was the equivalent of “Libs of TikTok” at the time (the early stages of Youtube political commentary) so the only reference point I had for this idea of trans was channels roasting the idea of being trans, and this was a manner of speaking that I adopted myself.
But as the commentary scene evolved and the kinds of voices that were around became wider I got to hear from people who were more reasonable on the matter and my opinion began to soften, then as I began doing Youtube, streaming, etc. I met a lot of people including a lot of trans people, some of whom are close friends to me today. Speak to any of the trans people who know me now, ask them if I’ve ever intentionally misgendered them, if I’ve ever said anything to make them feel uncomfortable around me for being trans, I don’t mean my audience, we will address that later in the post, I mean me personally. At the time I was absolutely someone who was transphobic, maybe in the truest sense of the word, I was afraid of what I was seeing happen in the world and I did not understand it at the time. Thanks to actually speaking to people I was able to stop myself from going further down a really dark path, which who knows where it would have led me if I kept following it. Nowadays I try my best, I may still say something that comes off as insensitive, if we’ve never spoken before, I may use the wrong pronouns and if I do then please tell me, it’s not my intention to make anyone feel uncomfortable around me.
Homophobic Comments
Right, so now we’re getting quite a bit more personal, much of what I said in the prior section also applies here, so I’m not going to repeat it again to save you some time. Have you ever heard the idea that the most homophobic people tend to be so because they’re afraid of who they are inside, they’re afraid that they might secretly be gay themselves. Well I can’t speak for anyone else but that is the case for me, not gay but I did realize maybe a year or 2 back that I was bi. This isn’t something I’ve ever stated publicly before because frankly it’s not anyone else’s business, and I never wanted to deal with either praise or hatred for “coming out”, I’m just living my life. I didn’t want to use any of the resources back then most likely due how I felt about trans people at the time, but this is something that I’ve come to terms with within myself.
I’m not saying any of this to deflect from what I said back then or try to win anyone over by saying I’m bi now, what I was saying back then was really really stupid. And I’m not saying that everyone who may have anger towards gay people are gay themselves but I would encourage you to first look inward at why you might have that stance.
Loli Comments
Back then I quite often made comments in support of anime loli art, shared art and there was a UN debate about the topic at the time in which I was vehemently opposed to. The loli discussion has been done to death online and nothing I say here is going to change the opinion one way or another of anyone who has formulated an opinion on the topic. All I will say is as anime has moved from this niche nerdy thing that people in Japan watch and weird people outside the country get bullied for enjoying, to this hyper mainstream visual medium to the point where you have Vtubers singing “Take me out to the ball game” officially endorsed at Dodger Stadium (yes that happened and is happening again). The term loli which was already very loosely used at the time has become even more general of a term as the times have changed, covering from just cute anime girls all the way to actual gross illegal shit
This makes any comment on the topic very difficult as every individual is going to apply their own definition to what the word means especially so when looking back at old comments. Much like the term furry which to some covers everything from people in fursuits to full blown zoophiles, others make a distinction between the 2 because being a zoophile is absolutely gross. To be very clear, loli as in the pedo stuff is horrible and gross and I will never condone it in any shape or form.
Not Bad Just Cringe Comments
These archivers were not the only ones who dug back through my old posts, there was a time where I was quite active in porn and adult meet/chatting subreddits. During that time I was a very cringe loser, now just a normal cringe loser, openly discussing fetishes I had, trying to meet women online but in a public forum setting. By women, I mean, I’m sure a good portion were just phishing attempts (long pre the days of modern LLMs) but I did meet some real people back then. The way I talked was super cringe, but it was contained to the place where everyone was consenting to this kind of discourse.
On My Politics
Back then I wouldn’t even say I had a political stance, I was just anti whatever I thought would make the most people angry. Nowadays though, after meeting a lot of people, hearing a lot of voices, I think I have a pretty good understanding of what I believe. No, I’m not a far right nazi, no I don’t live on 4chan, or Kiwifarms. Labels are hard so I’ll just outline what I believe in first:
- I think having a system like Australia’s Medicare system where everyone pays into it is a good thing
- It should probably be expanded to include dental work
- I not only support, but I think a UBI like system will be necessary in the future as we see more work being automated and the skill floor being raised
- I believe everyone should be given the same level of basic human rights
- I’m very anti war
- Nowadays I support gay marriage and adoption
- I support well tested and regulated recreational drug use, with facilities available for those who find themselves struggling to keep their life in check
- I’m not sure what line I would draw here; as anyone can just buy enough Jack Daniels to kill themself
- There should be publicly funded facilities available for people who struggle with mental illness to get the help they need
Political Compass isn’t exactly the best test but it tends to put me around center left libertarian. So why do I talk to the people I do, why do I talk to people that much of the FOSS world has shunned away. I don’t think you solve any disagreements or fix any growing tensions by just pushing people away into a little bubble. By making people feel like the only ones who will listen and they can talk to are even more extreme than themselves, all you do is create a perfect storm for people to further radicalize themselves. So we’re clear, I don’t support Lunduke, half the time when he makes a new post we poke fun at it in my Discord. But at the same time if you can’t listen to why someone has the positions they have and steelman their arguments, you will never truly be able to solve any disputes in the world.
This is the same reason I tend to let my Youtube comment section get quite confrontational, these are real people that exist and have concerns, some of those concerns might be unfounded, others might have a solid base to stand on and I think you need to have a place where people who don’t align can talk things out. I very much stand by “sunlight is the best disinfectant” when it comes to any sort of arguments, you need to bring people out into the open so as to not let them radicalize in closed down echo chambers.
Conclusion
Nothing I’ve said in this document excuses what I’ve said in the past, but this is the journey of someone who was beginning to go down a really dark and dangerous route, and thanks to the fact that the internet is so open, thanks to being able to meet lots of wonderful new people. I was able to shift course and bring my life back in order, I was able to realize how stupid I was in the past, how completely insane some of the comments I made were, and actually mature into somebody who looks back on what I said then as completely insane.
As I said earlier, a general apology is just going to come across as hollow, but if there is anyone who would like to personally reach out to me, then feel free to do so. If not, if you don’t want to watch any of my content going forward, if you personally know me and don’t want to talk to me going forward. I understand that as well and I respect whatever choice you make.
Pewdiepie Linux & Asmongold Video Comment
Shortly after the first Pewdiepie video on Linux there was a compilation of tweets made, which Asmongold made a short react clip to. On that video I originally left the following comment:
“Most of us in the Open Source and Linux space are not like this, as with gaming these are the very loud minority of people who've tricked others to let them into positions of power. After blocking about 50 of these people you never have to hear from them again.
I welcome anyone who wants to try out Linux following that Pewdiepie video”
This was primarily in response to a comment made by Danielle Fore:
“This right here is the thing you are going to have to recognize is a red flag. They are going to try to say actually you are an extremist and unreasonable. “You’re being gatekeepy! Why does it matter what someone’s political views are?” Don’t allow this shit. No nazis allowed in my bar, period. Don’t care. Get the fuck out. Tell your friends I said fuck Nazis too”
After seeing a lot of the discourse around Pewdiepie resurfacing making the claim that both he is a Nazi and all of his subscribers are Nazis I was personally getting quite annoyed seeing what should have been such a happy time for Linux getting drowned out. Because of that, I completely misinterpreted the comment that she made and lashed out with things that aren’t true. Due to the use of the Nazi bar metaphor, I was under the assumption that she was also saying that every Pewdiepie subscriber is a Nazi. I was completely mistaken, she was actually saying there are some Nazis in his audience and she didn’t want to see them in the communities around her.
As for the other part, “very loud minority of people who've tricked others to let them into positions of power” this is just not true at all and I was applying corporate power structure politics to the FOSS world in a place where it simply didn’t fit, just saying the first thing that came to mind at the time.
I’ve sent Danielle a private apology for this and I feel really stupid for the way I misinterpreted what she wrote and the way I responded to it.
Going On Lunduke’s Show
Uploaded in January of 2024, I appeared on Bryan Lunduke’s channel alongside Distrotube, to discuss a range of things from Wayland, to various Linux desktops, to the Linux kernel itself. Like most people in the Linux world, I’ve been aware of his work for a very long time. I used to watch Linux Sucks back when I was first getting interested in Linux and I’ve seen the shift in his content from “here’s a cool thing happening in the Linux world” to “lets spend 30 minutes dissecting a single tweet from a clear political bias”. To be clear, I went on Lunduke’s show, he did not come on to mine. So why did I go and do so, well firstly I expected it to be a friendly discussion about the state of Linux, what I was met with was a barrage of leading questions that really tried to push me into agreeing with whatever stance he was trying to push at the time.
My intention was to better understand the positions that he holds, to understand why there is this growing political divide emerging in the FOSS world. Because it’s not a small number of people, there are a lot of people who think this way and this is something that people need to understand to be able to deal with.
, LDS missionaries (@WelperHelper99 was this you?) and daaaahxing from "Pastebin and anonymous imageboards", with people trying to get his social. Congratulations you bootlicking nigger, I present to you the Lennart Pottering CIA NIGGER award for enshittification. Before I award, I must ask though, HOW DO THAT MAKE YA FEEL BISSSH?
