Niggers Eating Cornstarch - And any other weird nigger food related shit

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KingofEgypt said:
I think I tried one of those gummy bears and it was possibly the worst thing ever invented by mankind
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People were unsuspectingly devouring bags of the things and ending up shitting their intestines out of their assholes and posting some of the most godawfully funny stories about it that I've ever read. Ima see if there's any archives of some of the best.

ETA: There sure are. a 'top 20' horror stories at this place and naturally There is a subreddit that leads off with this gem:
gummihell.png :lol:
 
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The Un-Clit said:
People were unsuspectingly devouring bags of the things and ending up shitting their intestines out of their assholes and posting some of the most godawfully funny stories about it that I've ever read. Ima see if there's any archives of some of the best.
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Why look for the comments when you can watch the la beast video on it. (Just kidding please find some i gotta see.)
 
Lord Of Shit said:
I truly tried to find those things for purchase, but they had ceased to exist.

Why did I seek these horrors? Because I have to know...
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If you’re just looking for the same shitting experience, any sugar free candy with any ingredient(s) ending in -tol will work. All of the sugar alcohols have that laxative effect if you eat too many at once.

PL: I do NOT recommend it. If you must, eat them in the morning on a day you’re home all day, and don’t say I didn’t warn you.
 
Accept Only Substitutes said:
If you’re just looking for the same shitting experience, any sugar free candy with any ingredient(s) ending in -tol will work. All of the sugar alcohols have that laxative effect if you eat too many at once.

PL: I do NOT recommend it. If you must, eat them in the morning on a day you’re home all day, and don’t say I didn’t warn you.
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Hmm... Maybe on a day off, with a stack of good books beside the toilet.

I'm partly curious to try it simply because I seem to have an iron stomach, and kinda want to test its limits. Many times, others have become violently ill from eating something cooked improperly or simply gone off, while I suffer no symptoms at all.
 
Lord Of Shit said:
Are they? I found something with the same name, but it had been "reformulated", kinda like the dieting pills which still exist under the same trademark (Dexutrim, I think?), but there's no more tasty meth in 'em.
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The first hit I got had maltitol listed as the main ingredient, and that's what actually caused the shits in the originals.
 
AnOminous said:
The first hit I got had maltitol listed as the main ingredient, and that's what actually caused the shits in the originals.
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Must have been the Leafland version of Amazon which had only the nerfed variety.

Well, I have gastric experiments to perform, it seems. Thanks for the info!

Apu.jpeg
 
No-Eyed Square Guy said:
Xylitol is antibacterial (generally) so you can do a pretty intense amateur "colon cleanse" by mega-dosing on the sugar-free gum or breath mints with it.
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Keep anything containing it away from pets. Just a tiny bit of it will kill dogs dead.
 
Accept Only Substitutes said:
If you’re just looking for the same shitting experience, any sugar free candy with any ingredient(s) ending in -tol will work. All of the sugar alcohols have that laxative effect if you eat too many at once.

PL: I do NOT recommend it. If you must, eat them in the morning on a day you’re home all day, and don’t say I didn’t warn you.
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I found this out the hard way when sugar free candies started cropping up. I thought I was ill then the next day was told about it. I felt like a giant idiot.
 
Agarathium1066 said:
I found this out the hard way when sugar free candies started cropping up. I thought I was ill then the next day was told about it. I felt like a giant idiot.
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I heard the horror stories. I said “couldn’t be me”, then I ate too many sugar free peppermints in a few hours near bedtime.

The regret was real. Pride do goeth before a fall.
 
I wonder what is in regular JellyBelly bubblegum flavour beans? It made me shit, but not, like, runs, just whatever was already in there, about 30 minutes after eating few (only had a single bag, palm-sized). Had to give them to sibling, the candy vacuum of our house, and they were import and cost me T_T

KingofEgypt said:
I think I tried one of those gummy bears and it was possibly the worst thing ever invented by mankind
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I suggest you try KFC jellybeans
 
The Un-Clit said:
Holy shit, that reminds me of the 'sugar free gummi bears' horror stories from like a decade ago. :lol: Anyone else remember those?
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Did this as a challenge with a girl I was dating and neither of us had anything happen.
She seemed disappointed. In retrospect, I should've been more suspicious of this idea.
No-Eyed Square Guy said:
Xylitol is antibacterial (generally) so you can do a pretty intense amateur "colon cleanse" by mega-dosing on the sugar-free gum or breath mints with it.
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I know someone who once made Authentic Southern Style Sweet Tea with granulated xylitol instead of sugar.
You ever spray liquid from your ass so much and for so long that it becomes clear?
Fucks your electrolytes all up, too, so you can go to the hospital and have fun times with IV fluids while they try to keep you from being attacked by your heart.
AnOminous said:
Keep anything containing it away from pets. Just a tiny bit of it will kill dogs dead.
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I've heard it makes great sweet keto meatball treats for the neighborhood's off-leash pitbulls.
 
Raven of the Burning God said:
I know someone who once made Authentic Southern Style Sweet Tea with granulated xylitol instead of sugar.
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Authentic my ass. That's an authentic shitting potion.
AnOminous said:
Keep anything containing it away from pets. Just a tiny bit of it will kill dogs dead.
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I forgot to mention in this PSA, some peanut butter contains it, which is fucking retarded because people OFTEN feed that to dogs.
 
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No-Eyed Square Guy said:
Xylitol is antibacterial (generally) so you can do a pretty intense amateur "colon cleanse" by mega-dosing on the sugar-free gum or breath mints with it.
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Isn't it the excess swallowed saliva that produces that effect? Even non xylitol gums and mints state that overindulgence will give you the runs.
 
AnOminous said:
Authentic my ass. That's an authentic shitting potion.
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Perhaps "Authentic Style Southern Sweet Tea" would be clearer.

Apparently it wouldn't have been as bad as it was if not for a "Oh, I have seemingly become a neverending fountain of filth; to avoid dehydration I should drink more of my delicious Authentic Southern Style Sweet Tea." thought process.
TheArtilleryman said:
Isn't it the excess swallowed saliva that produces that effect? Even non xylitol gums and mints state that overindulgence will give you the runs.
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It might be that *any* gum can improve oral health by the 1918 Swedish Onanist mechanism, but ones with xylitol have a measurable effect above&beyond other gum varieties without it.

edit: Should've read further and notice this wasn't about xylitol reducing cavities. Sugar alcohols (sorbitol, mannitol, xylitol, etc.) give you diarrhea because your gut tries to dilute them (yay, osmosis) resulting in excessive water in your GI tract. I do not believe xylitol is the worst offender in this, as it is actually digestible to some degree unlike some of the others.
 
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