Yes? Either I'm not articulating myself well (likely) or you just don't get what I'm putting down. If I'm talking to someone and asking them questions about their interests, hobbies, and personal opinions then I clearly want to know more about that person. Obviously I also want them to know more about me as well.
I dated a chick for 4 years and knew all her interests and hobbies and helped her pursue them. She knew literally nothing about me because she never even bothered asking about anything or taking any interest in anything I cared about. This pattern of behavior has repeated so often I can only understand it as some kind of socialogical issue.
Thing is, I'm a guy and I've never experienced this at all. All my partners have been really interested in what I do and what I'm into. This is because I date women with similar interests to me, and that is incredibly important. I met my wife because we worked on a creative project together. We are both artistic (and autistic, and acoustic), though in different ways, and learning how the other does what they do to make art was incredibly rewarding for both of us. Dating someone for 4 years and not having them know what you like is not normal or healthy. Why did you date them? What did you talk about all day?
Maybe you're more autistic than you think, and you're into your hobbies in more depth than the women you have spoken to or dated. What to them is an interest is a passion to you. And maybe they're very "male autist" type hobbies. Let's say you're into WH40k. Your other half knows you're into 40k but it's not her thing and she lets you get on with it. If I dated an autistic girl who was, say, massively into Dangan Ronpa games, I don't think I'd ask her any questions in any depth about them. I know what they are, but they're not for me. They're for her and that's fine.
A lot of people come into this thread and ask "why do women do x" when it's not a female-only thing at all. A lot of things maybe look gendered at first sight but really aren't, often they're the same psychological phenomena filtered through gender roles or biology so they don't look the same - like male and female autists often behaving differently but still having the same 'tism. I think one of the biggest lessons you can learn about women as an autistic guy who is struggling to date them is that they are a lot more like you than you probably think. There's a tendency to put women on a pedestal, I get it, a sufficiently attractive woman can make your brain go haywire and warp your perception of them as people. That women are some weird different species who are mystical and ethereal and perfect and amazing. Whereas women are gross, they shit, fart, have mood swings, they can be selfish, dishonest, cruel, inattentive, stupid, in other words they can be everything men can be as well. Once you realise that, it's actually possible to talk to women without your brain seizing up, because they are 90% like you and you can have normal conversations with them that you could have with anyone. Women really fucking hate that white knight shit, they want to have a normal fucking conversation.
And like men, they are all different from one another, don't generalise. If a women cheated on you, don't come to this thread and say "why them hoes ain't loyal?" One ho wasn't loyal. Men sometimes cheat too. It's not a woman problem, it's a shitty person problem. I think that's what the redpill manosphere types get wrong - they'll see a ragebait tik-tok from some skank saying that men have to be 6'11 and earn 7 figures before they're dateable and tell you that all women have impossible standards. No they don't, that's just some skank. Some men have ridiculous demands for the women they date too (I'm thinking CWC's notorious sweetheart critera). That's not a man problem, that's a trash person problem.
I was hoping that there may be a good way to work on it so we can better handle it. I have proposed she'd mention it to her therapist, but she hasn't had the opportunity to do so yet. Was hoping you might offer a new perspective on the situation or maybe had something similar in a relationship and could provide some insight.