🌟 Internet Famous Jason Thor Hall / PirateSoftware / Maldavius Figtree / DarkSphere Creations / Maldavius / Thorwich / Witness X / @PotatoSec - Incompetent Furry Programmer, Blizzard Nepo Baby, Lies about almost every thing in his life, Industry Shill, Carried by his father, Hate boner against Ross Scott of Accursed Farms, False Flagger

[tarzor]

I just remembered the poop gnome existed

the wplace wars never let anyone forget the poopgnome
mald's disc discovering that lore was very funny

 

[Requine.]

So basically 1 out of 5 ferrets he 'rescues' will not make it out of ferretschwitz. I tried to google how much personnel would be needed for a rescue of 100+ ferrets but cannot find anything conclusive. Anyway, based on his ferret website he only has shaye and 2 part timers (maddie and nova) looking after them. I know absolutely nothing about ferrets or rescues but even if you add in a couple of part timers or volunteers, the manpower would seem really grossly inadequate?

It's hard to find anything conclusive on animal rescue, because it's usually a huge labor of love. Sometimes you got literally one guy taking care of like 120 animals across 25 species. It's rare, but you might have somebody with you that likes it just as much, or part-time volunteers. Sometimes it's a family doing it together. But its a full time hobby. They're with animals all day.

In general it differs from day to day how many animals you get, depending on how accessible you are and if you're in a town that has a lot of farms and wildlife, and you're more open to rescuing different species, you'll have more numbers.

I've volunteered at rescues that work together pushing animals back and forth depending on resources/funds available and if they say, have an old horse that gets along with a cow at the other rescue down the way super well. They'll just let them hold that horse so they can have some nice company during their stay instead of being pushed around by that ornery donkey at your place.

 

[Unimaginative Username]

Completely making up false scenarios in his head as doubling down / stroking his 20 years of industry experienced ego in a smug know-it-all way [What if i hit your game with ton of bots ruining your "live service" then start to monetizing the game by myself trough the means SKG providing at the end of life like private servers]

That's the biggest thing. He was actually pushing the idea that SKG would lead to players banding together to kill their favorite games to force an offline version that wouldn't require any ongoing payments. This conveniently ignores that fans of online games are addicted to constantly getting new updates and would never try to force a situation where those updates end forever. It also ignores that everybody agreed that if Todd's horse armor ploy succeeded, it would mean everybody getting nickel-and-dimed by every video game publisher for the rest of eternity, and all the Bethesda paypigs agreed but went ahead and bought it anyway. The idea that dopamine addicts with no impulse control are going to be able to show some sort of solidarity with anybody at all is laughable, but this ferretfucker seriously acted like that was going to happen.

 

[East_Clintwood]

He was actually pushing the idea that SKG would lead to players banding together to kill their favorite games to force an offline version that wouldn't require any ongoing payments.

Wasn't it even dumber than that and he was pushing the idea that malicious actors would kill popular games so they could then run and monetize their version (conveniently ignoring who the fuck is supposed to pay if the games have been killed and all the players driven off)

 

[Forklift Certified]

Wasn't it even dumber than that and he was pushing the idea that malicious actors would kill popular games so they could then run and monetize their version (conveniently ignoring who the fuck is supposed to pay if the games have been killed and all the players driven off)

This. Nigger brainstormed a bunch of already illegal scenario as a what if 200iq gotya just to smear on the SGK intent. Ignoring the 2 lil thing which completely busting his weak argument: 1 botting alredy an ongoing issue so devs kinda prepared for that, 2 his supposed monetized private server susceptible his own bullshit scenario. Thats shown how bad faith and retarded was his stance.

 

[bossmanpeterson]

I was watching an old vinesauce video



Remember the buvvins? Way up in the sky?
For yiffing? (at 2:07)

I don't know much about second life but:

So I just googled "Maldavius Figtree" on a whim after seeing this thread in recent activity and stumbled upon this large reddit post (archive) which dug up his old blog and how the comments are filled with him apparently being a sex pest, harasser, and just generally an all around dick. As the top comment says, you can take the employee out of Blizzard but you can't take the Blizzard out of the employee.

{snip}

lol: An interesting thing to note is -there- he conduts his sexual advances and the resulting furry humpin’. Does he go somewhere private, perhaps a convenient secret mainland plot? Nope. He textfucks right there in Machina, in a dark sphere (fitting, ain’t it?) right there above his main store. By “right there” I mean approximately 700 meters up, but you get the idea. He has a horrible looking wood-textured “apartment” up there, complete with a sex bed he insists is “only for cuddling,” though many can demonstrate otherwise. We’ve all got screenshots. Don’t get too close if you want to take a gander, though, he has a gigantic scanner in the middle of the sphere that teleports anyone home who gets too near. Luckily, draw distance can be set to more than 96m.
They may have dating one of the SL devs and then tried to get him fired after they broke up.

{snip}

Does Jason know about the buvvins?

 

[Nick Gars]

Every game that isn't multiplayer only should be "offline capable". Even then you should at the very least be able to run it and go to the options screen. I don't play a whole lot of MP, but I have a feeling that a lot of MP only games like Overwatch, Path Of Exile 2 etc. just tell you to fuck off if the client detects no Internet connection. I'm just throwing it out there as I'd have to ask around to confirm this.

Offline modes for MP only games are possible, and they don't even need to be that extensive. Honor Of Kings (chink-MOBA) has an offline mode where you can still use all your skins and fight bots. If they just added the ability to add other players to offline via Bluetooth or something, the servers pretty much become irrelevant.

It's kinda sad when some chink-slop owned and managed by a division of Tencent (Timi) can provide an example of how such a thing can be done, while Jason claims it's a Sisyphean task.

 

[U+200B]

Next time he streams, will be the last time he'll be above 900K.

 

[The ATF Disliked That]

This Mald clip from a few days ago is triggering my bullshit detector

View attachment 8838831
View attachment 8838824

He claims that someone fraudulently registered a student loan in his name back in Jan 2025. He also states that 1. His(Mald's) credit is frozen, and 2. the scammer registered the loan with an address not associated with him, and that he had only discovered the fraud through emails.

I'm no expert on US laws, but I thought the only student loans you could get without a credit clearance check were FAFSA(federal student aid) loans, and those do background checks on your identity, and would pick up whether the address was ever registered to the social security or tax number?

Can anyone expand on this lol? I think it's bullshit, especially with how mald had to take a pause to even think of what type of scam it was.

I'll ask my Mother. She dealt with student loans in banking through 2008 and up to her retirement. I'll get back to you. But I'm pretty sure that's really difficult to do anyways since names have to be lined up to the student. So he would be using more of Mald's identity than just using it for a loan.

Edit:
So after asking the mother and looking up an article about FAFSA fraud, there might be truth to his story here. My mother said, flagging potential fraud was pretty routine and a lot of it does get picked up on, but there are cases where it did happen. Normally, FAFSA does do all the proper checks to ensure the student who is applying for the loan is in enrolled at the university, however, according to this Forbes article on "Pell Runners" (Archive) there is a black market that abuses the system by pulling loans on people's names and then pulling the cash out of bank accounts once they receive the funds. Now him not understanding how this was possible despite his credit being "turned off" (i.e. frozen), is due to the fact FAFSA doesn't require a credit score check. Bank accounts usually don't require credit checks either, so that's why it still wasn't picked up on.

So my conclusion:

 

[Roachbound]

there might be truth to his story here

Mald is the last person on the internet I'd trust to tell the truth, but I guess it is possible then.

Of course, Mald immediately used this to sympathy farm and also tease at a potential 2nd kitboga collab.

Which won't be happening because the first one ended with kitboga disavowing him.

I don't think it was posted in here so I'll go ahead and post it now, but Kitboga made an announcement of pulling a collab he had coming up with mald.
View attachment 7599214

 

[Henri Barbusse]

Offline modes for MP only games are possible, and they don't even need to be that extensive. Honor Of Kings (chink-MOBA) has an offline mode where you can still use all your skins and fight bots. If they just added the ability to add other players to offline via Bluetooth or something, the servers pretty much become irrelevant.

It's kinda sad when some chink-slop owned and managed by a division of Tencent (Timi) can provide an example of how such a thing can be done, while Jason claims it's a Sisyphean task.

If you let people host their own games without moderation, they might say bad words there.

 

[CiaphasCain]

Not only will they not escape during life, they will also stay they after death, forever. In a "ferret mausoleum", as Mald calls it. Apparently, he keeps ferret ashes in boxes, for whatever reason. I don't know the first thing about animal rescues, so this might be normal, but that almost seems like he's keeping trophies around. Oh, and the Ferrschwitz had to be scaled down to 150 max ferrets, whatever (skip to 00:30 for the "mausoleum" talk):
View attachment 8834185

This had better not be another Tranch scenario where we're looking for mass ferret graves on Google maps...

 

[emixcjx]

Offline modes for MP only games are possible, and they don't even need to be that extensive. Honor Of Kings (chink-MOBA) has an offline mode where you can still use all your skins and fight bots. If they just added the ability to add other players to offline via Bluetooth or something, the servers pretty much become irrelevant.

It's kinda sad when some chink-slop owned and managed by a division of Tencent (Timi) can provide an example of how such a thing can be done, while Jason claims it's a Sisyphean task.

game devs are a retarded but crafty bunch. not only do they develop these massive hard-ons for game companies like blizzard then let themselves get whipped around like cattle for mediocre pay, but they have the memory of a goldfish and seem to miss advances in software eng in other industries. every retarded line coming out of the anti-skg camp has been a solved issue in other areas of software engineering. like being unable to distribute licensed software, which braindead JDK devs seem to have solved by just.. making you download JDK from Oracle's site yourself, and then coming up with openJDK.

and also seemingly forgetting that games have been offline-capable for most of the gaming industry, and hosting your own servers for MP games used to be a default feature. though this last one is a bit wrong because a lot of games get hosted servers during the development phase, which then gets removed on public releases (like in the crew game that has an offline mode disabled by ubisoft). the funniest thing about these low-iq takes is how much minecraft server hosting took off since its release, literally by zoomer kids that barely know what a file is, yet these morons think hosting a server for an MMO is an insurmountable task.

i think part of the lying on some game devs is still the throbbing hard-ons they get for certain game companies. like letting valve (which is mostlly based) get away with lootboxes but not a company like ubisoft. jason's reason for hating skg is primarily his allegieance to blizzard tho lol. but also this is why devs like theprimeagen went against skg too he's a netflix simp, and they always will be because their identity is entirely tied to having worked for a corporation, which is kinda sad really.

 

[U+200B]

That's it! Unless something else happens, I'm done following his antics for the moment.

 

[Professor Donger]

Mald probably gave the dude some terrible financial advice, lmao

 

[Bored boring Co]

That's all part of being a fake expert, in my opinion. He jumped to a stance without thinking about it. Since he never thought about the pros or cons, he can't reason his way into changing or defending his position.

We got a preview of this during the Crowdstrike IT disaster shit show in 2024. He came out and stated as fact that "Microsoft pushed a patch and broke everything, this is 100% Microsoft's fault.". Mind you this was AFTER Crowdstrike had admitted they were at fault and were sending out coupons for pizza to the IT folks that were trying to fix millions of computers. He never rolled back that statement or brought it up again as far as I know.

This by the by was the exact moment I went from being skeptical and annoyed by his content and outright angry with him.

 

[Professor Donger]

I just found this channel that goes over lolcows, Idk if it's been posted yet. the video is five months old mind you

 

[BiggestBuford]

I just found this channel that goes over lolcows, Idk if it's been posted yet. the video is five months old mind you

Spoiler: Local Archive

 

[Professor Donger]

Spoiler: Local Archive

View attachment 8859069

Thx, I'm terrible at archiving youtube

 

[Huddinge]

I havent looked into this at all, but some Rust streamer (imPheetus) claims he got banned from twitch for impersonating Jason.

https://www.reddit.com/r/LivestreamFail/comments/1sm7o7y/pirate_software_gets_rust_streamer_impheetus/