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With a (questionable) W from James Drake, how would you rate season 5 of Fishtank?

  • 1 Star — Absolute disaster. Unwatchable, boring, production fucked it up bad, the fish were lame

    Votes: 56 7.3%

  • 2 Stars — Pretty bad. Some funny moments, dragged, too many vibe repair days. Barely worth checking.

    Votes: 87 11.4%

  • 3 Stars — Average. Solid entertainment in spots, some good chaos and crashouts, but nothing special

    Votes: 169 22.1%

  • 4 Stars — Really good. Lots of hilarious moments, strong fish personalities, solid content and vibes

    Votes: 405 53.0%

  • 5 Stars — Peak Fishtank / Masterpiece. Non-stop insanity, legendary fish and production, pure chaos

    Votes: 47 6.2%
  • Total voters
    764
How I would fix the goo wrestling:

  • Just get a big tarp instead of the pool
  • Prior to the event, break the twins and James into separate rooms. Each gets a pep talk and mini interview going into the event. Twins get a more thorough explanation of wrestling, submission/tapping, and some pointers and “ways they could win” as well as a chance to strategize with a third party. Meanwhile, Drake is grilled on how he feels about the upcoming fight, rubbing in the psychological weight of having to dominate two frail autistic women who he’s been reading bedtime stories to for weeks. Let this take an hour as various people check in with the two parties as they prepare.
  • When the fight starts, do a huge “IN THIS CORNAAAA” style fanfare with walk on music and everything. “LET’S GET READY TO RUMBLE!!!”
  • 3 rounds with planned cooldown in between. Both twins and Drake get pep talks and further grilling from various wiggers and freeloaders.
  • When the twins are truly overtaken the wiggers all BEG THEM TO TAP! FOR THEIR OWN GOOD! PLEASE, THERE’S NO WAY THEY CAN WIN! The wiggers are practically crying.
  • Cooldown, possibly with more talking, between the end of the fight and the “FINAL DECISION” where the wiggers do the whole thing of having the two parties line up and raise the arm of the champ as they announce.
  • Lots of room allotted for speeches by Drake and the twins before they go on to thanking others. Go into this with an actual plan/write up of what order to thank people in, what to say, and how to continually tie all remarks back to what an epic showdown they just witnessed.
  • Huge, deliberate photo op ending with everyone gathered around before anyone has a chance to disperse.
 
Lonjil said:
It does look like shit! I wish if anything he got something cute. I need to dm him, save him :)
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Yes Queen, go get your goth kid from southpark

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Monkeymanbob said:
What is it with fans of the show and assuming the crustiest of male contestants have a shot with most of the women on the show?
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Mostly they self insert as the autist so want him to get the girl. But like in Season 2 with TJ and Taylor a lot of peer pressure can push two fish together, there's definitely a psychological effect to the TTS.
 
Monkeymanbob said:
That’s just the most recent example. Otherwise we can look at Alex B / Mizzy or Binx or whatever else. As much as I sometimes dislike any of them as Fishtank people there isn’t a world where Binx & Mizzy & whoever else is honestly considering sleeping with Alex B OR Landon OR Jin OR whoever
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Jobe 100% couldve cracked Mizzy bro
 
Jet said he wants to do a survival camping trip stream. These are an incomplete list of the ways the wiggers could fuck this up:

-Water. If they commit to the "survival" aspect they will need to find a source for water. The best would be a small river in the area. However, they will then need to process the water before drinking it to ensure they don't get poisoned or infected with parasites.
-Shelter. Hypothermia can be a big problem, for reasons discussed in the next point this will need to happen in September at the earliest. They will need to have the skills to construct water-proof shelters for all the campers. They will also need to keep a fire going basically the entire time, which requires skill and planning to be able to do without causing a forest fire.
-Game laws. They will need to make sure that all campers have applicable hunting and fishing licenses. They will then need to remember what game is in season and what weapons they are allowed to use to take which game. In general, small game (squirrels, groundhogs, rabbits) is to be hunted with low-caliber firearms or airguns, and large game (deer, turkeys) with bows, crossbows, muzzle loads or normal firearms. In most locations, hunting season starts in September and usually you are not allowed to use firearms until later in the season. The later in the year they go also means less sunlight for them to hunt with, most places have laws that only allow hunting between sunrise and sunset. More daylight is also just useful to have while camping anyway.
-Hunting. Hunting is hard. Animals in the woods are easily spooked and a bunch of wiggers stomping around to make content will scare them off. If they want to make sure that they won't die of hypothermia they will need to go early in the season when only bows and maybe airguns for small game is legal. They could wait until crossbow or muzzle-loader season starts, but that will reduce their daylight and make staying warm a bigger issue. Airguns are much easier to use than bows but still have a learning curve. No one currently working for Fishtank seems like the kind of guy who knows how to zero a scope properly. Squirrels are small targets and easy to miss, so even a slightly misaligned scope will fuck them. Bows have a very steep learning curve so even if deer and turkey are bigger targets they will require more practice in order to actually get the arrow were they need it.
-Bears. If they actually manage to get any food, it could potentially attract bears. The campers will need to be instructed on precautions to not do that.

They actually could do this but they would need to enlist a few people with experience in this kind of shit. Having two actual experts having to deal with the nonsense made from wiggers and former contestants could be good content. However, Jet talking about it causally made me believe he thinks it will be easier than it really is.
 
Monkeymanbob said:
What is it with fans of the show and assuming the crustiest of male contestants have a shot with most of the women on the show? Binx Stinx, ik, but why in the world would she sleep with Landon? Same with Vimp?

That’s just the most recent example. Otherwise we can look at Alex B / Mizzy or Binx or whatever else. As much as I sometimes dislike any of them as Fishtank people there isn’t a world where Binx & Mizzy & whoever else is honestly considering sleeping with Alex B OR Landon OR Jin OR whoever
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I don't think a girl like Vimp/Binx would fuck Landon, but if there was ever a situation or time where it could possibly happen, it would be during Fishtank. Being stuck with someone day in and day out while feeling separated from your normal every day life leads people to doing things they wouldn't normally, it's why cheating happens so often when people go away on vacation.
 
re: house idea
intriguing, seems like a more polished and more worked out version of what they were trying to do post bloodgames in regards to more experimental content, its also a good way to test stuff without the hellhousers seething about it being boring
 
Monkeymanbob said:
What is it with fans of the show and assuming the crustiest of male contestants have a shot with most of the women on the show? Binx Stinx, ik, but why in the world would she sleep with Landon? Same with Vimp?
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they see themselves in Landon man.... that's their guy.... I mean... vimp totally was in love with Landon and his greasy snaggle tooth before the tall, long haired, backwoods smoking Bashir trampled all over it!!!!!
 
Charnel Ground said:
I’m genuinely fine with the wiggers rigging
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I just flatly disagree. Im okay with them nudging things when it is out in the open to keep things interesting (like bringing Bashir back when Vicky walked or letting the audience vote on the Twins)

But a through and through rigging behind the scenes makes the show as a whole feel way less compelling to me even if they do it well. I agreed with Jet's idea to make the game part of the game matter. I just hated his implimentation with the paintball gun. It's why the candy challenge was way better than the tree one.

And frankly if they intended it to be a rigged win from the start rather than laziness or incompetence, it lessens James Drake's win feeling earned more than wrestling two tiny women did .
 
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