🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

Will Ralph see Xander on November 15th?

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If Ralph can get the money for it he absolutely will go there. There's fucking BLOOD in the water. Everyone's taking about Hambley and there is money and views to be made. he remembers the windfall from the chrischan arrest.

You better fucking believe scarlet isn't the only attention whore around. Ralph isn't going to let an opportunity like this pass him by. If he does?

HE'S WASHED UP. HE'S A BITCH. HE'S GETTING BIG LEAGUED BY A CUCK.
 
Piggy wouldn't know a proper documentary if it bit him in the gunt
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Ralph will do a documentary on The Quartering in the same way he got married during and pressed the proceedings at Hackamania - by doing drugs in a cheap and dirty motel room. Maybe by going so far as to get some Culvers one day at the location nearest Quarter-pounder's house.
 
Ralph's documentary needs to take place at Jer's favorite bar. All the regulars there will know about Hambly and the Ralphamale's presence will force Jer to drink in the basement instead.
 
A woman at the airport swab tested Ralph's laptop for explosives, and then just let him take it home? Even for Ralph this is a bizare excuse. Maybe Ralph was planning on blowing up Quarterpounder's house :story:
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A woman at the airport swab tested Ralph's laptop for explosives, and then just let him take it home? Even for Ralph this is a bizare excuse.
Ralphs dents really are the most gullible mother fuckers: "Happened to me once and i still dont know why. Maybe chlorine traces if you were near a pool for a while."

Or maybe it could be, you know, any number of illicit drugs that this loser and his whore do right next to the laptop
 
Ralphs dents really are the most gullible mother fuckers: "Happened to me once and i still dont know why. Maybe chlorine traces if you were near a pool for a while."

Or maybe it could be, you know, any number of illicit drugs that this loser and his whore do right next to the laptop
The swab story is totally made up. He just missed the flight like he always does. He either showed up late or got drunk in the airport and either lost track of time or fell asleep.
 
What a bizarre story to make up, it either makes him look like a mark where they tried to scam him into giving them his computer or it all looks like bullshit based on a kernel of truth (selected for a "random" swab test) and he missed the flight for whatever other reason (more likely because the swab was positive for drugs and they ended up going through all his belongings and searching him).
Alternatively he just got drunk when he got to the airport and missed his flight because of it, who knows?
Either way the whole bomb thing sounds like made up bullshit.
 
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