- Joined
- Sep 29, 2016
Anyone make the "total figger death" joke yet, in here?
🌟 Internet Famous Jason Thor Hall / PirateSoftware / Maldavius Figtree / DarkSphere Creations / Maldavius / Thorwich / Witness X / @PotatoSec - Incompetent Furry Programmer, Blizzard Nepo Baby, Lies about almost every thing in his life, Industry Shill, Carried by his father, Hate boner against Ross Scott of Accursed Farms, False Flagger
- Thread starter Relinquish
- Start date
- Joined
- Mar 6, 2024
I think is speaks to their character that they're unwilling to partake in drama and add to the stress of the people still working (they do get paid), and the people who left. Good for them.
I am interested to know what happened myself, and am lowkey waiting for what seems like the inevitable shitshow after Pirate spergs out and people get pissy and strike back, but their willingness to stay mum on all of for the benefit of other people involved is admirable, after all it is just dumb internet drama.
- Joined
- Sep 28, 2021
It's pretty obvious he's not really a coder/developer/software person and has negative clue about what he's talking about. Jesus Christ, defending your reasons for doing things the retarded way for performance reasons when scripting in Game Maker?
- Joined
- Apr 16, 2026
The funniest part of it is that he doesn't even need to care about performance. His game is literally just a walking sim where the whopping 2 (i repeat, 2) fights in it have less than 10 moving objects at all times. He doesn't even have to think about things like heap vs stack, cache misses etc.
He doesn't need to optimize his shit to run 2% faster, he needs to make it so it actually is a complete, coherent fucking game, and then start chunking the useless bits for the 2% boost if he really wants that so desperately. But now instead of that, he's stuck with a duct taped mess of a codebase and can't ship shit because even thinking about it burns him the fuck out.
- Joined
- Aug 6, 2024
After watching Quintheo video, Jason seems to be one of the most insufferable dudes on YouTube. Seems everyone ends up hating the guy. And I can see why. He looks and acts like a dude who loves the smell of his own farts.
- Joined
- Apr 16, 2026
I can imagine him taking a shit and spending 2 whole hours just admiring it and talking to himself like he's on a stream, glazing the fuck out of the absolute brick he just laid out.
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2022
I highly recommend watching the dr k interview I linked a few posts back.
Triple posting, impressive
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- Joined
- Apr 16, 2026
I'm scared of hitting that send button again, so I'll just edit this.
It's so good. Dr. K really read him like a fucking book. He tends to cook hard when he's not talk about superstitious bullshit.
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- Joined
- Aug 6, 2024
Will do. And I hate 99% of e-drama. But watching this dude get pulled off his high horse after trying to shit on Ross Scott has been a joy.
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2022
Be sure to let us know your thoughts on it.
Less of a book but closer to an instructional guide, with how clear it was to dr k.
The reason his game will never be finished is because in his 7 years at Blizzard he never actually picked up on how you make a game. He desperately wants to be seen as someone who can make games, but not just make them, do all the building himself. He's not a programmer. He's not an artist -- and at least he had someone else help with the art here. He's not a writer. What do you do if you want to make games without the skillset to actually build a full game? Pay people to do each job.
Hire someone to take your notes and write a decent story. Hire someone with experience in gameplay to design puzzles and fights, mechanics, game systems, etc. Even a stupid ARG if you really want that. Hire someone to make a soundtrack and all the little gameplay sounds. Then hire someone who can actually build software to take all of that and make the game with it. He's involved at every step as the person paying for the work, making executive decisions, and the end product is what he wants it to be. That's also making a game, and more how it gets done when you can't just wing the whole thing yourself as an indie hacker.
But doing this would require him to admit he can't do it himself, and he larped as capable for years. The goal isn't to release a game or be a game developer. I don't think that was ever the goal. Maybe once he thought he could just hack together an Undertale clone and make millions on an indie game. Then it became about larping as a game dev for the ego. Then he got a taste of that streamer money and now wants to chase the dragon. Even if he had the money for it, Shartbound is never going to happen, and now I'm totally here for the phase where he goes broke and can't even afford the bots anymore.
Hire someone to take your notes and write a decent story. Hire someone with experience in gameplay to design puzzles and fights, mechanics, game systems, etc. Even a stupid ARG if you really want that. Hire someone to make a soundtrack and all the little gameplay sounds. Then hire someone who can actually build software to take all of that and make the game with it. He's involved at every step as the person paying for the work, making executive decisions, and the end product is what he wants it to be. That's also making a game, and more how it gets done when you can't just wing the whole thing yourself as an indie hacker.
But doing this would require him to admit he can't do it himself, and he larped as capable for years. The goal isn't to release a game or be a game developer. I don't think that was ever the goal. Maybe once he thought he could just hack together an Undertale clone and make millions on an indie game. Then it became about larping as a game dev for the ego. Then he got a taste of that streamer money and now wants to chase the dragon. Even if he had the money for it, Shartbound is never going to happen, and now I'm totally here for the phase where he goes broke and can't even afford the bots anymore.
- Joined
- Aug 5, 2024
And still they defend this man, that has MotherFucked them all in broad daylight. They deserve every ass reeming they (and their wallets) endure.
Several other fine Farmers above me said it; it's BAD when the Kiwi Farms barely cares about you. You can liken this to the Kino Casino no longer covering someone: it means their career really is over. It doesn't mean you're broke and homeless, it confirms any meaningful upward trajectory for your career or influence has come to an end. You can only maintain the course, or slowly sputter downward. Proof? Go check iDubbz after the "No iDubbz April" he is lucky to get 10 subs a WEEK now.
Thats you now, Mr. Figtree. You're a Jeremy Hambly. A failure. You will not be able to shed the veneer of Shyster, Domestic Abuser, Gnome Fetishist, Ferret Pervert and "muh dad worked at blizzard". It will never go away.
- Joined
- Aug 6, 2024
Anything for you bud.
- Joined
- Apr 16, 2026
An instructional guide on what not to do that is.
I still can't think of any valid reason other than Stockholm syndrome atp.
I swear you could make children's books about the falloff of "people" like IJubbbz or Maldy as cautionary tales about how to pick your friends or keeping your ego in check. Just change the people's names and It'd sell like crazy.
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- Joined
- Jan 17, 2025
"Uhhm akkculy you see my project dose not have the newer SDK features because uhhm i started it somewhere decede ago around 2018... do you realy expecting me to update the SDK on a decade old project ? whaa... what do you mean with this projet size it should be released in 2020 ? Insane behaivor !"
He did that, beside the art (made by his troon gf) thats the only thing works because that's the only thing mald not involved in it. And the cherry on top of that mald ex composer Stijn van Wakeren made his own game and released it.
- Joined
- Feb 2, 2023
Wait sorry what? Sorry I was never all that interested in this guy, but I figured he was making a game from the ground up? The way he talks about it I figured he was developing his own damn engine or something. 7 years? In GameMaker??
BigPeanut
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Aug 10, 2024
He has blackmail on them, he was running an Epstein island situation but they were all fucking ferrets instead of kids.
Internet-Denizen
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Feb 24, 2025
I think it's possible the ex-mods are afraid of him.
We don't know the extent of what he's capable of, but he's a sociopathic narc and they might not want to take any chances. He probably knows a lot about them.
That said... PLEASE EX-JANNIES COME HERE AND TALK ABOUT HIM PLEASE PLEASE!
We don't know the extent of what he's capable of, but he's a sociopathic narc and they might not want to take any chances. He probably knows a lot about them.
That said... PLEASE EX-JANNIES COME HERE AND TALK ABOUT HIM PLEASE PLEASE!
- Joined
- Jul 22, 2017
His statement about CPU shading is just ignorant. If you want to maximize compatibility with everything, with optimal performance on old hardware, you'd write in OpenGL ES 2.0. Which is what GameMaker uses for it's most compatible rendering backend. You cannot play his game without hardware support for at least OpenGL ES 2.0 (Sandy Bridge+/2011). Pixel plotting via the CPU is slow, it's a memory bottleneck. Trust me, I wrote a CPU-based 3D renderer.