Iran Crisis & the 2026 War between Iran and the United States, Gulf States, and Israel - Please focus on news and coverage, not argumentation.

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UAE is quitting OPEC and OPEC+ on May 1.
 
The UAE withdrawing from OPEC is absolutely massive news and something that I didn't ever see coming. Makes me wonder if we could push Venezuela into potentially withdrawing from OPEC as well.

Thanks for sperging out and attacking random neighboring Muslim countries for no apparent reason, Iran. Seems to have really worked out for you so far.
 
For me, it's dog spit.

Dog spit is explicitly considered very impure in Islam. Therefore the ideal method of postwar execution for the IRGC members who killed Iranian and foreign civilians is to be bound, hoisted up by the ankles and lowered head-first into a 5-gallon bucket of dog spit using a block and tackle, preferably by a nice Jewish lady (presumably one who lost relatives in the war).

In dogs, saliva production can be stimulated by providing citric acid on a cotton swab, which dogs actively seek out and generally enjoy. Large breeds with a tendency towards drooling (i.e. St. Bernards) could reliably and sustainably produce more than one liter per animal per day with citric acid stimulation.

Since there will be some losses associated with aspiration, spilling and coating of surfaces, despite reasonable attempts at recovery, it's probably necessary for the number of animals to meet or exceed the intended maximum throughput in prisoners per day.

The current US market for St. Bernard dogs alone would easily support purchasing 100 animals, and their approximate 10 year lifespan requires purchasing about 10 per year for maintenance if necessary. This is an initial outlay of maybe $100k, realistically $200k if we include domestic transportation costs and logistics.

With the kind of wages likely in postwar Iran, you would easily be able to staff your kennel with, say, 50 full time personnel at even a very generous $10k/year and the operating costs would be negligible compared to the remaining costs: housing prisoners and holding trials.
Dude spending this much money on killing the Ayatollahs is useless, just skin them alive with a rusty knife and call it a day.
 
For me, it's dog spit.

Dog spit is explicitly considered very impure in Islam. Therefore the ideal method of postwar execution for the IRGC members who killed Iranian and foreign civilians is to be bound, hoisted up by the ankles and lowered head-first into a 5-gallon bucket of dog spit using a block and tackle, preferably by a nice Jewish lady (presumably one who lost relatives in the war).

In dogs, saliva production can be stimulated by providing citric acid on a cotton swab, which dogs actively seek out and generally enjoy. Large breeds with a tendency towards drooling (i.e. St. Bernards) could reliably and sustainably produce more than one liter per animal per day with citric acid stimulation.

Since there will be some losses associated with aspiration, spilling and coating of surfaces, despite reasonable attempts at recovery, it's probably necessary for the number of animals to meet or exceed the intended maximum throughput in prisoners per day.

The current US market for St. Bernard dogs alone would easily support purchasing 100 animals, and their approximate 10 year lifespan requires purchasing about 10 per year for maintenance if necessary. This is an initial outlay of maybe $100k, realistically $200k if we include domestic transportation costs and logistics.

With the kind of wages likely in postwar Iran, you would easily be able to staff your kennel with, say, 50 full time personnel at even a very generous $10k/year and the operating costs would be negligible compared to the remaining costs: housing prisoners and holding trials.
I think the oldschool method of execution with bullets laced in pig's blood is more efficient. Aside from it being a classic, it has the logistical benefits of providing the staff at the execution site with fresh pork and by keeping pigs nearby, you can feed them the bodies of the executed IRGC members to save up on feed and add an extra layer of desecration.

Why yes I watched Snatch recently how can you tell?
 
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UAE is quitting OPEC and OPEC+ on May 1.
They've been edging on this since 2020 (possibly earlier), due to the constraint OPEC membership puts on their production. Saudi uses OPEC as a protectionist scheme for its own oil profits, which means a smaller partner like UAE always loses out. Outside of OPEC, they can expand production to meet the market rather than curtailing when Saudi wants a profit boost.

haha, cougared...
 
UAE really said, "Iran is about to have to cap their oil pumps, so we might as well fill the gap."
And since their largest oil terminal is on the east coast, outside the strait, it means they'll be able to fill it at relatively low risk. They're already building a second refinery there.
 
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Iranian Intel believes the US will impose a no-fly zone over Iran.

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The Russian-Iran military officials meeting in KyrGystan:

Iran's deputy Defence Minister in a meeting with Russian Defense Minister, Andrey Belousov:
"America is no longer in a position to dictate its policies to independent nations.

This has become clear to the whole world through the resilience of the Iranian people and armed forces, and America will have to accept that it must give up its illegal and illogical demands.

Today, the whole world considers America and the Zionist regime as symbols of state terrorism.

Today, the Islamic Republic of Iran, while preparing for a powerful defense and meeting the needs of its armed forces, is ready to share its defensive military capabilities with independent countries, especially the member states of the Shanghai Cooperation Organization.

We are ready to share our experiences in defeating America with other members of the organization."
 
Iranian hackers have resorted to spamming sailors and Marines stationed in the Gulf on WhatsApp and only get a mocking "ha ha ha 🤣" in response.
Americans use WhatsApp? Makes sense for sailors I guess to keep tabs with family without paying extra but the majority of people I’ve met with WhatsApp are foreigners.
This is being overlooked with all of the action but I still find it hilarious how Ahmadinejad ended up probably being a US/Israeli asset that had a dedicated jailbreak airstrike and is now likely being sheltered by the Mossad.
Same. It’s this kind of thing that I live for. Him and Delcy being bought out is absolutely hilarious to me. Oh and the Israelis doing operation manhood deleter was funny too. The systematic emasculation of a bunch of Muslim extremists is beyond hilarious and they 100% would have preferred to be killed by the pagers. The amount of seething from the pagers was one of the lulziest events in this series of conflicts.
 
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According to reports, 15 unexploded heavy American missiles & ordnance inside Iran, were transferred to “technical and research units” for “reverse engineering”. Among the heavy missiles/bombs that Iran fully recovered is a GBU-57 bunker buster bomb. When the ceasefire ends Iran will drop bunker busters on Israel with their indigenously produced F-5s. The ordinance is too heavy for one fighter so two of them will carry it.
 
Americans use WhatsApp? Makes sense for sailors I guess to keep tabs with family without paying extra but the majority of people I’ve met with WhatsApp are foreigners.
What about the americans who are foreigners. Chinese (and others) who barely speak English are joining the Navy in droves.
 
No apparent reason? lol you can't be that fucking retarded, there is no way.
Oh, I'm sorry. It actually makes perfect logical sense to desperately attack otherwise potentially friendly or sympathetic third party Muslim nations's civilian infrastructure in retaliation for the US and Israel striking you. Surely that will cause chaos in the region and not just cause everyone to resent you. It worked out so well strategically for them too, didn't it? Just like all of Iran's "strategies". We happen to know it especially pissed off the UAE in particular and look at the news that just dropped. Saudi Arabia didn't especially take kindly to it, either.

Venezuela could have completely prevented what happened if only they started shooting missiles at Colombia and Brazil, what were they thinking?

Go suck BRIC elsewhere, retard. You were probably fully on board with the same inbred line of reasoning that came up with the plan in the first place.
 
No apparent reason? lol you can't be that fucking retarded, there is no way.
What reason is there for attacking the civillian infrastructure of these middle eastern nations? Hitting US or Israeli military installations I can understand, it's a war, but please enlighten me on what possibly gave Iran a reason to do that? Because any positive gain you could possibly see is outweighed by the fact that these nations are gonna get pissed at Iran for fucking with them and quite understandably want nothing to do with them.
EDIT: damnit i'm a nigger and i got sniped by the post above me lmao
 
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