Last time we saw tragic li'l TiF ASilentThinker, she was more concerned that the fuckbuddy she'd let slide in real smooth into her chacha did not see her as a fellow man. Now, she learns, her suspicions were correct, and despite her efforts to escape such a terrible fate AST has fallen victim to the same destiny she tried to warn others away from: she let some straight-without-labels loser give it to her raw all because he reaffirmed her bullshit pronouns to her face, thus securing a successful Jimi-ing of her Hendrix. Yes, I can see how having your feelings hurt must be a far more egregious offense than
giving you a fucking STD; truly, the priorities of troons 'n' poons are most logical.
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About a week ago, I came here talking about how I received the text from someone I had been fucking on and off for several years that he had been exposed to an STD.
I also mentioned that I was worried that he might not see me as a guy because the STD he got was one that usually is transferred between straight partners not gay men and that he had said he was pansexual.
A lot of people here said I was jumping to conclusions and that STDs can transfer between anybody. Which in general is correct but again,
gay men and men that sleep with men, generally don't get the STD that he was exposed to.
Yesterday we had a conversation and he offhandedly commented about people not reading profiles on dating and hookup apps. He follows up with an example by saying that he has that he is not attracted to cis men and cis men continue to message him.
This is essentially what I was paranoid about.
I basically became one of the same gay trans men that ends up in a situation with someone who doesn't see them as a man. It sucks because in other ways, he was a green flag, but now it may not be as innocent as I thought.
I wish I had followed my own advice and not got involved with someone that labeled themselves pansexual. Now I just have to eat crow and realize I became the same gay trans guy that I tried to prevent others from becoming.
As a man begins to lose his eyesight, his TiM son worries that dear Papa will go blind before he can ever see his progeny become the beautiful anime maiden he is deep down inside.
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obviously going blind in general is a bad thing, and would make anyone sad. and
i feel a little selfish thinking this way. he loves me,
but i want him to see me too. before he can't. that's all
Once upon a time, a closeted proto-tranny confessed to the mother of his child - his girlfriend of 10 years - that he wanted to troon out because, you guessed it, he's a depressed pervert who loves sissy hypno. Against better judgment, OP's lady stayed by his side when he scurried back into the closet, but it seems she's taking it worse this second time around now that OP insists thatthis time, he's determined to go through with it. Due to his status as a gooner tranny, OP is a dishonest scoundrel keen on burying the lede, so let me drag it up to the forefront for you all: part of why OP's girlfriend is upset is because
she has undisclosed trauma around women that she doesn't feel safe confiding in OP, and it's implied that it's very intense - and possibly sexual - in nature. Yet rather than feel horrified with himself for forcing his gal to confess to something she'd much rather keep to herself, OP is "extremely frustrated" because "it's somehow turning out worse than (I) had hoped" and he's resentful of her for letting things end this way because of "everything (we've) already been through."
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Mostly venting, but if anybody has advice I’ll take it too.
I recently came to the conclusion that I’m trans (mtf) and my gf is not taking it very well. I knew going in to telling her that she probably wouldn’t take it well, and that she’s be skeptical and wouldn’t trust me to have thought it through, given my history with depression, crossdressing, and sissy hypno, along with the fact that I’ve proclaimed I’m trans to her before only to back out. This time feels different though.
Hypno doesn’t appeal to me since I made the decision to accept I’m trans, and I feel happier and at peace. I don’t really have much dysphoria so I’m not rushing into HRT or even full social transition for a few years, and using the time until I’m ready to, well get ready and figure out exactly who I want to be as a woman.
She’s also not attracted to women at all, and
I didn’t know until we talked about it last night but she has trauma surrounding it that I haven’t unlocked yet, so now our relationship isn’t looking as good as I thought it would be. I knew women weren’t her thing,
but I didn’t know the reaction would be this bad. She’s more reserved when we’re together now, and
I told her I’d like to enjoy our relationship as much as possible while I’m still masculine, and I didn’t really get any sort of reaction or relief from her when I said that.
Also, we have a kid together so I can’t just up and leave without any further plans.
I’m not really lost,
I’m just extremely frustrated because even though I knew it wouldn’t be easy with her, it’s still somehow turning out worse than I had hoped. We’ve been together nearly 10 years and it’s frustrating watching it potentially end like this after everything we’ve already been through.
Lady Luck doesn't have a smile left to spare for this near middle-aged troon as in just a few short months of coming out, OP has
torched his marriage of over a decade (resulting in his wife seeking custody of the kids after
kicking him out of the house completely), lost all of his friends and now, for some salt upon his self-inflicted wounds, his family has cut him off so completely that
OP wasn't even invited to the memorial service of a now-deceased brother. But OP remains ever the optimist and looks for the silver lining in every dark cloud - for example, because he now lives in a destitute hovel all by himself,
he can wear bras as much as he wants to without anybody complaining! This must be what it is to be trans
and thriving!
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I have always been a bit of an outsider in my family, invited to the big extended family gatherings but often left out of more casual gatherings.
Always thought my family hated texting, only to eventually realize I was the only one they weren't texting regularly. Unfortunately I have always had a hard time remembering details of our childhood so that has always been weird when we do hang out and they talk about things I don't remember.
Ever since they found out I am trans I have been excluded from every thing and not welcome in their homes. When my brother unexpectedly died a couple years ago, at first I was told I wasn't welcome at the funeral. That changed only after the pastor, who is part of my sister-in-law's family, told her that is not right.
Yesterday
I found out that they had a family memorial day for him and no one invited or told me. I have lost any connection I had with family, my wife left, my friends are gone. I should be used to this by now. I wish this didn't hurt so bad but I don't know how to move on.
During a monumental mental health mishap, a TiF destroys everything she has going in her life - from her immunology studies to her friendships and all the way up into being
disowned by her parents - all because she chopped up her hair with kitchen scissors and felt more alive than she had in ages. But now that she's getting better treatment for her bipolar disorder, OP realizes just how much she took for granted all along and is haunted by the shadows of her regrets; in a grand show of sunk cost fallacy, OP seems to believe that there's no going back from opening Poondora's Box even if she wanted to, but I wager she writes it moreso to reassure herself than to explain to anyone else why she's chosen a most arduous road to travel.
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*i guess being trans ITSELF didn’t ruin my life but my bipolar disorder combined with it to absolutely ruin me
i knew i was trans since i was 12 but i also knew my parents would disown me if i came out, so i hid for almost a decade. it destroyed me mentally, and i struggled with an ED and SH for many years.
most of the time i was able to push it down so deep i forgot but then something would trigger my dysphoria and it would all crash out and i’d be miserable for a few weeks before i could get a handle on it.
i was in college studying immunology as a pre-med. my plan was to thug it out until residency was over and i could be fully financially independent and i could transition.
my parents at this point paid EVERYTHING and were my biggest supporters even if we had rocky moments.
early this semester, my untreated bipolar swung into mania at the same time as a dysphoria moment and i fucking came out. first just to my friends and i was going to just hide it until the right time but it felt SO good being gendered correctly.
i cut my hair with kitchen scissors in my dorm. something i couldn’t hide or take back. my mom wanted to meet for lunch one day and i knew she would see it so i fucking sent my parents a long email coming out. i didn’t hear from them for a few days until we got breakfast.
they disowned me. in a 5 page letter written in green comic sans. no more financial help. i had 2 months before they kicked me off the insurance. so with no way to pay for tuition or housing i thought i was going to drop out. stopped going to class.
i don’t remember most of the time up until my boyfriend brought me to the hospital after one month to the day and i was hospitalized for a mixed manic episode and finally treated for bipolar again. the first time i spoke to my parents since getting disowned was calling them from the hospital.
i guess the hospital was a wake up call for all of us because i started taking my mental health more seriously and they eased up a TINY bit.
still no financial support but my dad has been helping me out a lot. my mom refuses to have anything to do with me still.
it’s the end of the semester and i’m failing a class because i hardly did any work or went to class this semester and my parents are SO disappointed.
i got a job i start next month which pays pretty well and will pay my tuition so i wont have to drop out and i got an apartment im moving into with my dads help.
my mom said “i would have done anything in the world for *deadname*, but i wont lift a finger for you” which has been playing in my head constantly. it’s move out weekend in the dorms and every time i see a family moving their kid out i just about break down.
i miss my parents so much. i miss how things used to be. i miss my old life. i miss it so much even though i know i was miserable. i’m still fucking miserable, and now i have the stress of trying to keep myself alive ontop of it all. i regret just how much i took that for granted. i regret it so much.
but i can’t go back.
even if i blamed it all on my bipolar and ran back to my parents and detransitioned id still be miserable. it would be worse. i just feel so stuck i don’t know what to do anymore. i’m not suicidal i just. don’t know what to do. i think im depressed again but due to a scheduling mishap i don’t see a psychiatrist for another 2 weeks. oh well.
i’m trying to cope as best i can but i also lost all of my friends when i was in my episode and i just have my boyfriend left and i can tell im pushing him away too. i just feel like i ruined my life over something so stupid. idk man i just need a good therapist i guess. ugh.
After years of struggling with recurrent UTI symptoms, a dood is at the end of her rope because she has such chronic flare-ups that she has been diagnosed with
interstitial cystitis, which is considered an
incurable urinary condition and one that most often appears in women at least 30 years old. While she pleads for any sort of solution that isn't merely "stop pumping yourself full of testosterone, you dizzy little dipshit," this isn't actually the first time I've heard about a TiF developing this far earlier than they ought to -
I last recorded a case in the SRS thread back in August of last year. Are you guys
sure your boyjuice is so vital to your well being that you're willing to deal with
stabbing bladder pains for the rest of your life?
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I'm a 23 y/o FTM and have been on testosterone since september 2024; so, almost 2 years now. Initially it was great! I was lucky enough to go on Jatenzo (the pill option) due to it being mostly covered by my college's healthcare plan, and was fully capable of taking it every day w/ the fat intake required.
Then about 3 months in I get a full-blown, incredibly painful UTI for the first time since I was about 11 or 12. This immediately strikes me as concerning, and I talk to my doctor about atrophy, but she isn't concerned since I started T way too recently for it to be an issue. I get treated and it's... mostly resolved. Then, next semester--
I get another UTI. None of my sexual health practices have changed other than being more active, so that's obviously an influencing factor... but
if anything my hygiene improved drastically since I knew enough to take precautions, and UTIs are just about the worst pain humanly imaginable for me.
Cut to now, almost 2 years on T, and my life is a nightmare. I moved back in with my mother briefly (unrelated- financial reasons) and the T pill became inaccessible so I was switched to every-other-week injections of 100mg, and
I noticed an even steeper uptick of UTIs and bladder irritation. Triggers started popping up left and right. Suddenly,
I couldn't drink alcohol, and had to avoid citrus. Okay: no big deal, I already don't drink very much. I moved again, this time into my partner's house (thankfully with more accessible healthcare options), and my current doctor has switched me to weekly injections of 50mg.
I was also put on topical estrogen due to them seeing "slight atrophy" during an exam, which helped very briefly... but now it doesn't seem to be doing much of anything. I've tried different lengths of time between using the topical estrogen and different methods: twice or thrice weekly, then daily; switched from the applicator to by-finger since it made it easier to apply to the urethral area. Doesn't matter. Now
I'm getting UTIs just about every month and have been diagnosed with interstitial cystitis for near-constant discomfort and burning. Got an ultrasound done to see about any abnormalities or endometriosis. Nothing. Got a CT scan done to investigate for kidney stones. Nada. The e-coli isn't even lingering in my system, because nitrofurantoin does consistently work. It just /keeps/ coming back.
I can't stress enough (and hopefully this doesn't qualify as NSFW: I'm keeping it strictly medical here, but please let me know if I need to add the warning)
my sexual hygiene is perfectly fine. I use toxin-free baby wipes, I take a UTI-specific probiotic, I'm getting plenty of fiber, I use D-mannose, cranberry supplements, etc, and literally nothing should be interfering with my microbiome (other than the antibiotics themselves). I've had to quit drinking coffee, eating tomatoes or tomato products, and now I've gone cold turkey on any sexual activity, even purely solo-style. I also realize this is obviously going to lead to additional stress so I've been doing plenty of breathing and taking it easy: I'm not even currently employed, thank fucking god.
I ask, at the absolute end of my rope,
what am I supposed to do if the testosterone is what's triggering these symptoms? I felt amazing when I started, like I had an entirely new lease on life. I really, really do not want to go back, even if some changes are permanent. That, and
part of me knows these problems will likely just resurface after I hit menopause anyway, based on what I've gleaned from my research. I have an appointment with my primary physician next month and I'm dreading being presented with the option, because
while I don't want to medically de-transition, I cannot imagine spending another year like this, especially as it's been getting more and more disabling with time. Anyone else here had experience with IC/UTI problems and found a long-term solution
without having to go off T permanently??
Finally, a closeted troon struggles with watching the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes - and unfortunately, turning his head isn't nearly enough to make sure his darkness goes.
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I’m always making the pretty wombyn uncomfortable with my male gaze…how do I get out of the habit of doing this? This is part of the reason I should not be allowed to leave my home. N
ot to mention how they remind me of what I could’ve looked like had I not been destroyed by the wrong puberty and that they’re envyfuel and ropefuel. Especially since summer is around the corner
it’s gonna be hard going out since a lot of them will be wearing sexy clothing while I’ll prolly either be highkey or lowkey boymoding