UK British News Megathread - aka CWCissey's news thread

https://news.sky.com/story/row-over-new-greggs-vegan-sausage-rolls-heats-up-11597679 (https://archive.ph/5Ba6o)

A heated row has broken out over a move by Britain's largest bakery chain to launch a vegan sausage roll.

The pastry, which is filled with a meat substitute and encased in 96 pastry layers, is available in 950 Greggs stores across the country.

It was promised after 20,000 people signed a petition calling for the snack to be launched to accommodate plant-based diet eaters.


But the vegan sausage roll's launch has been greeted by a mixed reaction: Some consumers welcomed it, while others voiced their objections.

View image on Twitter


spread happiness@p4leandp1nk
https://twitter.com/p4leandp1nk/status/1080767496569974785

#VEGANsausageroll thanks Greggs

7
10:07 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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Cook and food poverty campaigner Jack Monroe declared she was "frantically googling to see what time my nearest opens tomorrow morning because I will be outside".

While TV writer Brydie Lee-Kennedy called herself "very pro the Greggs vegan sausage roll because anything that wrenches veganism back from the 'clean eating' wellness folk is a good thing".

One Twitter user wrote that finding vegan sausage rolls missing from a store in Corby had "ruined my morning".

Another said: "My son is allergic to dairy products which means I can't really go to Greggs when he's with me. Now I can. Thank you vegans."

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pg often@pgofton
https://twitter.com/pgofton/status/1080772793774624768

The hype got me like #Greggs #Veganuary

42
10:28 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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TV presenter Piers Morgan led the charge of those outraged by the new roll.

"Nobody was waiting for a vegan bloody sausage, you PC-ravaged clowns," he wrote on Twitter.

Mr Morgan later complained at receiving "howling abuse from vegans", adding: "I get it, you're all hangry. I would be too if I only ate plants and gruel."

Another Twitter user said: "I really struggle to believe that 20,000 vegans are that desperate to eat in a Greggs."

"You don't paint a mustach (sic) on the Mona Lisa and you don't mess with the perfect sausage roll," one quipped.

Journalist Nooruddean Choudry suggested Greggs introduce a halal steak bake to "crank the fume levels right up to 11".

The bakery chain told concerned customers that "change is good" and that there would "always be a classic sausage roll".

It comes on the same day McDonald's launched its first vegetarian "Happy Meal", designed for children.

The new dish comes with a "veggie wrap", instead of the usual chicken or beef option.

It should be noted that Piers Morgan and Greggs share the same PR firm, so I'm thinking this is some serious faux outrage and South Park KKK gambiting here.

 

[Clem Fandango]

These are all the same image.
View attachment 8953058
This is the same man on three different days.

What makes this truly funny is that I've recently been DMing Teriyaki about my dropped kerb. So maybe he is me, but from the future?

Eta:
I've had the misfortune of eating "chicken sausages" at the breakfast buffet on holiday in various muslim countries. The "chicken sausage roll" should be banned for the same reasons.

 

[diroama]

Another that i hope i'm not late about.

A funny shitpost of a policy from Reform: announcing that they will place immigration detention centres exclusively in areas voting Green, and away from places that vote reform.

This has resulted in outcries of how abhorrent this policy is, but nobody has managed to articulate why. Surely green voters welcome the enrichment opportunities?

https://x.com/ZiaYusufUK/status/2051033457464127976

The only problem with this policy is it's being announced by someone called "Zia Yusuf".

 

[Tony Martin's Force Ghost]

Fuck you and your Takaiya shit, Zia. We know how this shit plays out.

 

[Jason_Cruiser]

Apologies if this is late, but I searched and could find no mention. Given the OP of this post i'm surprised it didn't come up.

Who do we think Greggs is aiming this product at?

View attachment 8953085

https://www.greggs.com/menu/product/chicken-roll-1003417

No clue. The fake out rage about muslims was silly. Gregs themselves have said nothing they have is halal; I guess in part due to them sharing the same ovens or factories.

This has resulted in outcries of how abhorrent this policy is, but nobody has managed to articulate why. Surely green voters welcome the enrichment opportunities?

The replies have little to no mention of the obvious issue of "deporting" islamists 10 miles south and concentrating them into areas with a local gov that will happily aid them. 90% of the replies are lefties decreeing fascism (even though this policy would actually help them) and boomer cons celebrating; putting no thought into any long term consequences.

 

[Wonderland foster child]

I grate a bunch of short dated cheese and chuck that in the freezer too

Protip: Christmas-branded cheddar gets discounted on 26 December (same as all the 'cheese with weird flavours' variations) and you don't even need to freeze it right away as the use by date is months later.

then every night can be fajita night.

Except Taco Tuesday, surely?

 

[diroama]

The replies have little to no mention of the obvious issue of "deporting" islamists 10 miles south and concentrating them into areas with a local gov that will happily aid them. 90% of the replies are lefties decreeing fascism (even though this policy would actually help them) and boomer cons celebrating; putting no thought into any long term consequences.

I take your point but if Reform were in government with a parliamentary majority the local authorities would only be able to provide as much help as central government allows. Its not up to local governments how much help they can provide prison inmates held in prisons within their areas, for instance. And we've seen local government try and fail to have existing facilities closed down.

 

[Tom Nook's Gloryhole]

So David Pauldon, who inexplicably changed his name to Zach Polanski is up in arms about the following cartoon because it apparently depicts him as a hook nosed Jew and that's bad.



This is what he looks like remember



It's a stretch because it legit looks like the fucker and everyone fucking knows features are exaggerated in political cartoons. The fucker wants to turn the entire conversation away from "I defended a literal terrorist who was stabbing Jews" to "Guys, look how the RIGHT WING PRESS are portraying an innocent Jew like me"

 

[Heinrich Maneuver]

This has resulted in outcries of how abhorrent this policy is, but nobody has managed to articulate why.

This is retarded division politics; yes very funny to give them what they vooted for, but punishing people for voting for the other colour is the kind of revenge fantasy only a brown could dream of. Reform is just continuing the (rather American) division politics of the last decade rather than aiming to unite the British peoples. People who vote for endless migrants also don't learn; no amount of rape, swan buggery, stabbings, and thefts will change their mind. They think its just one bad apple, no matter how many women die at the hands of Somalians.
And, we just don't fucking want any of them. Detention centres should be attached to major airports if we must have them built; perhaps they can use Heathrow's animal quarantine building.

This is what he looks like remember

Incredibly generous of you to post a picture with his mouth closed

 

[LXXVII Brigade]

A chicken isn't a sausage. Maybe they are both protein sources from animals but that's about where the similarities end. A sausage is made to be shoved in the warm hole of the pastrussy. A chicken isn't. Chickens are meant to be in a specific form factor. You can't just randomly shove meat products in a pastry and call it a day. Why don't they just make a tuna roll or something? Because it would be vile. On the conceptual level it is sinful. That is what chickens are. Only the offal from a pig deserves the loving warm blanket of pastry. Food has rules. If you break the rules you are sick. This is why we do not eat rhubarb sticks dipped in guacamale because it would be vile. We all know this. But yet we continue to push food into a sinful distorted form. Oreos do not belong in coke. Chicken does not belong in a sausage roll. Relying on retarded bullshit gimmick food is the sign of a struggling and dying company desperately trying to claw back relevance because their quality or value has slipped badly enough to need a quick injection of mindless consumers. No one will be a repeat chicken tuber. This is why you focus on your sausage rolls and make them the best that they can be. Because people will come back for them. People don't come back for gimmicks.

My local baker does beef sausage rolls snd tbh they are really really good. This is a proper bakers though not Greggs. I can confirm the chicken roll is grim eatings.

 

[PandaChai]

Just got this through the letterbox, is this even legal?
Blue bar is just censoring the Lib Dem candidate so as to not dox myself

 

[diroama]

This is retarded division politics

It is, and I don't think it would happen even with a Reform government

but

It's worth it if only to expose the hypocrisy of people who will vote for a party that is in favour of open borders and essentially unlimited immigration, but then describe living near to those same people as being a punishment.

 

[Fun Factory]

Hey guys, it's me, Zia Yusuf. The migrants won't be able to leave these detention centres except on school days, and really won't be receiving very much pocket money out of the public purse at all. But don't worry! They'll be deported with all the speed and enthusiasm we brought to Brexit. In conclusion, please to be redeeming your vote for Reform.

 

[teriyakiburns]

Just got this through the letterbox, is this even legal?

As long as they've got the name and address of the printer, the promoter, and whoever is being promoted (if it's not the same as the promoter), they can send out just about anything they want. They can't directly accuse individuals of crimes and other libels, but otherwise it's free game.

Political leaflets, like all advertising, rarely works to change minds. At most it will solidify existing positions. The only thing that really works is doorstep canvassing by the candidate, because that personalises the vote.

 

[Mound Dweller]

Just got this through the letterbox, is this even legal?
Blue bar is just censoring the Lib Dem candidate so as to not dox myself
View attachment 8955052

The LibDems are the worst for that sort of stuff, Just look at what I get when search engine "Lid dem leaflet"

Spoiler: Liberal Democracy

You may notice how they're all from different years/decades yet look... the same?
Every year in my area it's the exact same identical "ONLY LID-DEMS CAN WIN HERE TO BEAT LABOUR/CONERSVATVES/BPN/etc faded leaflets with the current year crop of candidates face's glued on and has been for the last 20 years or so at least. They get away with it the same way the TV loicensing people do; it's technically correct, look at those ""s lol. It doesn't really work either, anyone who actually gets bored enough to read it who is actually politically conscious to vote in the first place isn't going to be convinced by it, so why bother?

This is what he looks like

This is the only reasonable response to the unreasonableness of not expecting to get made fun of for being that fucking ugly, if he weren't also so internally wretched it wouldn't be such an issue perhaps.

 

[Clem Fandango]

Lib Dems are clowns with their leaflets. I got one through the letterbox saying that my area represented an "opportunity" for them. But even going by their own bar chart, if you split the projected Reform and Conservative votes exactly in half, and gave every single other vote to them, they still wouldn't fucking win. Sheer delusion.

Eta:
I've looked at the options for Thursday, and sadly I'm probably going to vote for Reform. I don't have a Restore option or anything more exciting.

 

[teriyakiburns]

This is what he looks like remember

He's the illustration for the dictionary entry on gormless mong.

We had a green candidate on our doorstep yesterday. I talked to him for a little bit, but other than "anyone but labour, reform bad", he had not a single thought in his head. Seemed like an alright chap otherwise. Nice, but dim. He's probably going to get in on a razor thin margin, but it looks like most of the wards around here are flipping reform, which is going to be interesting. I bet half of them are useless tossers.

I don't have a Restore option or anything more exciting.

Restore are only doing great yarmouth for the locals, this time around. I may just hold my nose and vote reform this time. I reckon it'll be a delayed vote for Restore anyway, as there's going to be a lot of defections sooner or later.

 

[GameratePTSD]

View attachment 8955007

View attachment 8955205

Ratigan ass nigga

 

[Heinrich Maneuver]

A Reform vote will show which way the winds are blowing anyway. I bet a lot of decided-Reform voters will be Restore converts later down the line. While my initial comment was 'the put migrants in Green areas policy is retarded division politics', and I do still think it's retarded division politics, I can see this making a lot of the 'I don't know who I'm voting for, Green or Reform' undecided-people vote Reform; especially with how many stabmalians we've had in the last week. If you've watched any single 'who are you voting for' street interview recently, a good amount of very average people are 'hmmm don't know Green or Reform...', which shows how fucked the traditional parties are.

Lib Dems are clowns

yeah

The migrants who died crossing the channel this morning were a woman (20) and a 16-year-old girl, both of which did not die from drowning, but were "found dead inside the boat". An investigation has been launched. They were likely raped and killed inside the boat, if the rumours are true.

 

[Clem Fandango]

On (im)mature reflection, I've decided I will vote Reform, but by drawing a cock in the box instead of an 'X' . That way, at least someone at the count will need to ask around whether it's a genuine vote or not.

 

[Changed later]

I've looked at the options for Thursday, and sadly I'm probably going to vote for Reform. I don't have a Restore option or anything more exciting.

I had the same problem, my choices were either:

• Conservative
• Green
• Independant
• Labour
• Reform

The Lib Dems didn't bother, they know they were giga-fucked here