How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

[Spark the Electric Jester]

Anyone else find it hard not to call people Anon here? Idk why. Green Reddit is totally different from FourChins.

 

[Candlelight Desolation]

There are no jobs here.

You're in Ohio? Welcome to Florida.

I'm actually going to be receiving professional psychological help now. I'm still unstable as fuck, as you guys can probably glean from my other posts on the farms, but an end to this pain is in sight, and it's not death.

Here is the way out:

.

I'd quit whatever destructive habits you might have enabling you feeling this way. Jesus Christ is the way, the truth, and the life, and there's a light at the end of the tunnel if you endure to the end to be saved. I'll pray for you.

 

[Spark the Electric Jester]

You're in Ohio? Welcome to Florida.

Here is the way out:

View attachment 9045426. View attachment 9045427

I'd quit whatever destructive habits you might have enabling you feeling this way. Jesus Christ is the way, the truth, and the life, and there's a light at the end of the tunnel if you endure to the end to be saved. I'll pray for you.

I already have a faith, but I thank you for your warm invitation.

 

[Lord of the Large Pants]

Quit a long time job last week and it's finally setting in. It had to be done, I had no future there. I have another one lined up, by the mercy of God. (And I'm not kidding here, a new job was basically handed to me on a silver platter at exactly the right time, in a field that's currently sucking air.)

The new job sounds interesting... but it's a lot higher pressure. Way higher pay, but honestly I don't even care about that. I'm not an ambitious man. I was happy with my simple, boring, mid level job that I could pretty much work on when I felt like and nobody complained. I'm jumping about 5 steps up the food chain reporting directly to senior management and I'm not what you'd call a people person. Plus I'm scared my ADHD is going to get me killed. I'm not used to normal person hours.

 

[(((I am NOT a jew)))]

Well guys. I literally cold approached a very cute asian girl today and asked her out... and we actually had a date.

Yes, kiwis... That actually happened to me.

I feel like the date was a total flop. I haven't realized how socially awkward and anxious I am until very recently. How hard it is for me to have a conversation with most people without tripping up or having long silences. And I was just in shock at the fact that this thing was actually happening that I couldn't really be in the zone and just live in the moment. This is one of those things you think is going to happen some far off day in a possible future, or at least you say it will so you have some coping mechanism to not want to die.

I did the biggest faux pass and straight up apologized to her for being akward and not communicating great and that I'm not used to this. I know, I know SHUT UP YOU FUCKING RETARD! JUST DON'T DO THE THING THAT YOU KNOW YOU SHOULDN'T. JUST BREATHE, YOU BIG DUMB ASPIE FUCK! DIIEEEE!!!!

Anyways, she's super chill and normal and asked if we could do this again tomorrow. Either I'm going to be the star of the biggest TikTok cringe video ever or things... are okay.

Years of bad habits, untreated anxiety, lack of exposure to the outside world and internalized horrible belief systems about myself and others have made me really kind of socially retarded in ways I wasn't years ago... but I also am meeting more people and actually experiencing life. So maybe I'm not the one to judge if I'm autistic or a completely anti-social loser.

I really don't know how to just not spill my spaghetti. I know this shit doesn't happen every... ever? I know if we actually chill tomorrow it's kind of a make it or break it. I have no idea how I'm going to manage this. Either this girl is really ungodly patient and chill or I'm making things too hard on myself.

I know I'm saying "HEY OTHER AUTISTIC ANTI SOCIAL RETARDS WHO LIVE IN THEIR OWN HEADS, WUT SHUD I DU?!2!!11!?"
But yes, I truly am on the wire here. I feel like this is a sink or swim moment. Not because of sexual tension. I just really want to prove to myself that I can be that guy who doesn't ruin everything for himself. I want to just have a nice date where I'm not worried or stuttering or drawing blanks. I want to actually have a good time with this girl and not make things awkward because she deserves that for actually being a decent person and having some faith in me, even when I feel like I completely fell short.

Please dear Godbear, brothers in Chrischan... give me your strength.

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

Anyways, she's super chill and normal and asked if we could do this again tomorrow. Either I'm going to be the star of the biggest TikTok cringe video ever or things... are okay.

Things are okay!!

Enjoy the second go-out! And turn off your self-criticizing brain and have a good time!

 

[⋖ cørdion ⋗]

I have been hit with the inexplicable intense desire to own a cat, only issue is half of my family hates cats. But I want a cat so fucking bad. Cat.

Literally not once in my life ever considered owning one, and I've always feared them. Learned I was allowed one; went to a shelter, barely touched the one I now own, and will probably die a cat owner cause dogs are too easily won over. And once you're used to owning one, they're not that much issue. A fountain and a timed feeder, rest is just play and cuddling.

Anyways, she's super chill and normal and asked if we could do this again tomorrow. Either I'm going to be the star of the biggest TikTok cringe video ever or things... are okay.

The most damaging thing about approaching women is that they're the reviewing party. No matter what you do or say; as the receiver, it's up to them whether you failed or not. You could fumble your way through a pick-up line and if she liked it, you're a chad winner. You could drop your XXL condom, your black platinum american express or whatever, and if she isn't into any of that, you fumbled and lost. You could have your self-esteem ruined for 3 to 36 months by a 3/10 scum-of-the-earth femoid simply because you dared put in some effort.

The only way to steel yourself against this is to realize your worth and have confidence, which ironically stems most often from successful approaches. It's why online dating is stupid. You, a man of great social skills and great values, open yourself for any random woman you dared give attention to, and because -she- is dogshit at conversation and hate men because she fumbled some in the past, you walk away thinking "damn this dating shit ain't for me ig". Dudes will drag their balls through glass because a selfless angel of a woman matched with them, regardless of how lowly a creation of God she is.

I really don't know how to just not spill my spaghetti

Be yourself. What, you rather put on a stoic display for the 8 months you're dating? She could be a femcel womanoid loser cuck whom none of her friends ever imagined would bag a man. She could be into yaoi, AI boyfriends and pegging. It's like telling an unemployed man to go into a job interview with a spine, near impossible, but ultimately it's how it is. You'll fuck up, she'll move on, and you'll meet the next broad with a slightly more chiseled jaw and go "babygirl gonna spill her spaghetti?".

Anyone else find it hard not to call people Anon here? Idk why. Green Reddit is totally different from FourChins.

chat, is this OneGuy real?

 

[long waters]

Anyone else find it hard not to call people Anon here? Idk why. Green Reddit is totally different from FourChins.

I kind of get that feeling sometimes. Some people here are really good at identifying and tracking others, but there are so many people on this website that sometimes I lose track if I've seen a poster before. So it's like, hmm, who is this? Oh, it's Anon of course!

Thread tax: I think I had a pretty good week, but I feel like absolute shite today. I don't have any good material reason for it, just my own internal turmoil. Fuck my frustrated chud life I guess.
Maybe as I've gotten older my mood has become tied to weather and atmospheric pressure on a deeper level?

Edit:

Well guys. I literally cold approached a very cute asian girl today and asked her out... and we actually had a date. [...]

You sound like you're literally me in this post, so I'm rooting for you Anon! Godspeed!

 

[MazonLabs Recruitment Rep]

My wife's cousin contacted me about 9pm, said he just got assaulted by his uncle who's in a full blown schizophrenic episode and convinced he's building a sonic cannon to kill him. We got him out of that house and paid him a week's stay in a nearby motel. He recently recovered from a stroke and already had mobility issues which my place ain't friendly for, or I'd let him use my couch.

I've had to convince my wife to not visit said uncle with my shotgun in hand...so yea, it's tense here.

 

[stick]

Not doing so hot. I wake up anxious and depressed every day. I'm forcing myself to do what I'm supposed to do, partially out of spite to people who think I'm just not trying hard enough, and I still feel like shit. Eating well, exercising, getting outside, socializing. I will keep pretending that I'm fine because it's too inconvenient to people otherwise. Can't be too much of a bummer and make them uncomfortable.

I know it is probably also just the depression but I am finding myself pissed at and hating everyone. My family, friends, coworkers, my partner. Mental health professionals. God do I hate mental health professionals. I have a referral now for TMS after 15 years of just being slapped with more medication and more therapy referrals, when apparently for a diagnosis of treatment-resistant depression you need to fail just two antidepressants. And the TMS is only because I asked for it.

I'm trying to keep my expectations for the TMS tempered but I'll be honest, if it doesn’t improve things I know I will be incredibly disappointed. If nothing works I can only conclude that not only am I not trying hard enough, something is fundamentally wrong with me as a person. There's something other people have that I just don't seem to grasp and I don't think I ever will.

 

[TommyHeavenly6]

Not good. Any time I feel like trying to join a group in fan spaces, I'm reminded that I don't fit in either because of political differences or because I get squicked out by certain behaviours within fan spaces (like yaoi/yuri fetishisers insisting on shipping certain things). It just further solidifies I need to find new hobbies and things that comfort me, I can't enjoy certain streamers because of their unironic porn brained fans.
Wish I wasn't a weeb.

The thing I realized about fandom spaces is that eventually the actual hobby/interest becomes an after thought whereas political virtue signaling (left and right), degenerate activity(shipping, porn, e-dating) and other weird parasocial bullshit becomes the priority. Without fail. Every single time. Covid only made things 10x worse.

In my personal experience the best thing you can do is just find a small tight circle of people you can enjoy those hobbies with and ignore literally everything else. It's might be a little lonely but you will be happier.

 

[Kirklandwarrior]

Have to post this somewhere because I am keeping it on the down low, but I’m a college student again. First time in a long time I am excited about something.

 

[SirCliveSinclairdabbing]

Absolutely banging weekend so far.
Serviced the car in the morning.
Couple of beers watching a cricket match with the missus, we’re back home. Got the promotion match for the championship on then the sprint race for the F1.
Sunday is country hike, F1 and baseball with no worries about Monday because we’re having a roasting bank holiday weekend in Britain.
Cheers to you all and cheers to the guv-er-ner.

 

[Wigger Rights Advocate]

I want to start all over, leave the country. Leave everyone behind and become a new person. I want no one to know me. At this point I don't even mind leaving all my family and never seeing them again, never seeing my home again

Not sure if this is a depressive phase or if it's just how my life's going to be, but I feel the overwhelming urge to leave

 

[The Last Stand]

The job opportunity I had lined up for myself to escape retail fell through and my disappointment was imense. Felt like crying. Gotta go searching elsewhere regardless.

I'm telling myself to expect rejection responses or being ghosted after job applications. Meanwhile, my current shift has such inconvenient hours, I barely have time to sleep or enjoy the days off.

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

I want to start all over, leave the country. Leave everyone behind and become a new person. I want no one to know me. At this point I don't even mind leaving all my family and never seeing them again, never seeing my home again

Not sure if this is a depressive phase or if it's just how my life's going to be, but I feel the overwhelming urge to leave

Can you? If you can, why not try it?

-------

I am sitting outside on the patio behind my house, enjoying the breeze through the trees and the sun overcoming the earlier clouds. The scent of lilacs in bloom wafting from the other side of the patio is heady and lovely, so I take a deep inhale and - omfg what is that stench? Takes me a couple of minutes to place it, and then I've got it: it is the smell of a dead mouse. The pest control people came yesterday and rebaited all the traps, which are apparently extremely effective, and one is right behind me next to the house. Yuck. Had to move my chair closer to the lilacs. Poor mouse, but ugh.

 

[funwithshemales69]

Met up with a lady friend from my previous job, she was in country so thought I'd visit. Very glad I did although I regret turning down lunch cause I had made stuff at home. Sometimes life is nice and hopefully stays that way, at least for a while.

 

[SirCliveSinclairdabbing]

I want to start all over, leave the country. Leave everyone behind and become a new person. I want no one to know me. At this point I don't even mind leaving all my family and never seeing them again, never seeing my home again

Not sure if this is a depressive phase or if it's just how my life's going to be, but I feel the overwhelming urge to leave

It’s context for when you’re doing better.

 

[Squanto Airi]

My current boss at the job is retiring, and the new boss seems alright, albeit a bit more firm on things.

Also had two employees reek of alcohol and had to get them drug tested.

 

[Wigger Rights Advocate]

Can you? If you can, why not try it?

I can, in a couple years, once I'm done with the master's I'm starting this year. I was going to apply for it abroad, but I don't have the money unfortunately

I'm leaving as soon as I'm done though. I don't even care if I need to get a shitty job and end up not using my degree. I just want to go somewhere that's ... not here. Hate my country, hate the people living here, hate the culture, hate that people know of me, but at the same time don't know me at all

It’s context for when you’re doing better.

Hah, hopefully there will be a time where I'm doing better, the future looks a bit grim though not gonna lie