June 6th, 2014 14 Branchland Time Lapse

[Le Bateleur]

Did the neighbour stories go up at the same time as the video, or where they a later addition?

It would seem to me that the neighbour stories might be a fallback after the general reaction to the video was "meh" rather than "zomg it's 14BC guyz "...

 

[Fapcup]

Yeah, I don't believe this at all. If Chris had done ANY of this, he would have bitched to Facebook about how some neighborhood dog had dented his car or had gotten him in trouble. And trust me, if a 13 year old had seen his junk and had told people about it, he'd definitely been posting shit on Facebook about the trouble he was in because people don't understand him as a tom girl.

I kinda doubt this. Even as stupid as Chris is, he does realize that killing a dog might cause him bad consequences. Doubly so because he's paranoid, spineless and believes in a centralized, vast, powerful troll conspiracy that has IRL agents, and on multiple occasions have interfered in his life with very serious consequences.
(Snyder, Megan, the poster campaign... I wouldn't be surprised if he thinks a troll agent slipped into the house, and wired the Kreurig to commit harakiri.)


He also knows that there is good and evil in the world, and most definitely considers himself as a fundamentally good and decent person. (as opposed to those darn, pestering evil trolls!).

Posting about killing a dog in a careless way would tarnish his good image and reputation, so he'd never do that. (Unless it had somehow already gotten out.)


Chris's very vague religious beliefs also seem to center about a divine entity that rewards good people such as himself, and punishes evil people like trolls.

It also seems to be an ingrained belief in him, that being good naturally and immediately carries an earthly reward* and makes people act nice towards him.
(Remember how at first he tried to convince the trolls that he was a good person, so they'd seize targeting him?)

Now I'm not saying that it would cause Chris immense stress and grief to have killed a dog by accident. But he sure as hell wouldn't own up to it, unless pressured or more or less forced to.






* I believe that it's especially this factor that has caused Chris huge frustrations over the years, and seen him sink into untreated depression. He knows he is supposed to be rewarded in a generous and timely manner for "good" acts, and for being a good person, yet it rarely seems to happen. He knows how the world is supposed to work: He's a good, kind and righteous person, and therefore should be rewarded with plenty of vidya, LEGOs and china. Mhmmmnjaehm-mmmore of that-eh- sweet, precious precious china than you can shake a stick at! But somehow the system is broken (most likely due to those darn, pesky trolls!) and despite being good and kind, he gets neither china nor material rewards. It's just not fair and doesn't make sense!

 

[Batman VS Tony Danza]

Do I think Chris would panic and flee if he knew he hit a dog? Yes. Do I think he'd feel bad about it? Yes. He's had a dog and may still own one or two. He neglects the fuck out of them and feeds them fattening leftovers but that's because he's a fucking moron. Causing a dog harm by hitting it with your car is something I don't think he'd emotionally shrug off instantly. This sounds more like a neighbor who probably has a good reason to dislike the Chandlers and suspects Chris did it.

So here's what possibly happened...

A) Chris hit a dog, panicked, and just drove off. Someone saw it and apparently hasn't, can't, or won't give the Chandlers massive shit over it.
B) Chris hit a dog, panicked, and just drove off. Nobody saw it but someone who knows the Chandlers suspects or assume it's Chris.
C) Chris didn't hit the dog. Someone else did and the Chandler's reputation with a few neighbors just means they're the first suspects.
D) There is no neighbor making these claims and the whole thing is bullshit.

Chris isn't the best driver and downright terrible when it comes to making quick judgements behind the wheel. We also know he'd flee rather than take responsibility in this situation. Given how the Chandler's interact with people it wouldn't be unusual for him to piss off a neighbor or two. However, we also have to consider that this information is coming from someone whose whole reason for being near Chris's house is to do a piece and get attention. The guy obviously knows enough about Chris to toss out a bullshit story if he wanted to.

I'm going to assume it's bullshit until someone presses Chris and causes him to try so hard to cover his ass that we can easily pick any holes in his story.

 

[Meeko]

Patti was his dog.

Argh, I meant to write Tiffany Gowen. I always think of her via Chris's description as a "Peppermint-Patty type". If you could promise him footage of her, he'd be more open to talk.

I can see Chris accidentally hitting a dog, but on purpose? Nah. The only person he ever deliberately hit was Snyder, and that was partially because Snyder put himself in the way- Chris would not have purposely gone out of his way to hit him. I think that if Chris hit the dog, it was a genuine accident and he freaked out or he thought he was hitting one of the bajillion possums or other wildlife that live in the area- and possums can get pretty damn big regardless of the area.


The nudity thing? I can sort of see that happening too. I can see him wearing something without thinking about how short it is, because he's an idiot, and then messing himself a little- making it necessary for him to take his underwear off. Or going commando, because he saw it on TV and thought it'd be fun to try. And because Chris is an idiot, he forgets that wearing a short skirt and having male genitalia means that he'll "dangle" rather than stay all in one spot like women do. Of course I can also see a 14 year old girl making something up to get attention, because that's what kids do. I remember living in an apartment complex where we had kids that liked to tell stories about this guy that was living there. The guy was pretty mentally unstable and a viable threat to the children (despite his therapists saying otherwise, which led to him being removed later on), but half of the stories the kids told us about him later ended up being hyped up or outright false because they liked the attention they received by taking something small and blowing it up to larger proportions. I imagine that the girl probably saw a little bit of Chris (not that there's much to see there, as we all know) and then made it out to where she saw a lot more.

 

[CatParty]

Let @Marvin confirm the stories before we lend any credence to an idiot making a movie about Chris.

 

[milkshark]

Dog owners in the country often let their dogs run free. The only traffic is usually other neighbors, so it's not very dangerous as long as everyone looks out for them. Chris has documented proof on Youtube of his distracted driving, so him killing a neighbor's dog carelessly and taking no responsibility for it sounds very, very likely. Chris wouldn't have posted about it because it makes him look bad no matter what. He complained about the WalMart banning because he always feels unfairly treated in those retail establishment disputes. If the story is true, Chris probably tried to forget about it happening immediately.

 

[timtommy]

What strikes me as weird is that two of the four people had no idea who he was, and two of the four told stories about him killing dogs, threatening people and exposing himself to minors.

If his behavior was really that publicly egregious, it seems inevitable that people living on the same tiny cul-de-sac as him would have been aware to some degree. I suppose they might have just not wanted to talk to a random guy about it, but that part sounds really weird to me.

 

[warongiygas]

Dog owners in the country often let their dogs run free. The only traffic is usually other neighbors, so it's not very dangerous as long as everyone looks out for them. Chris has documented proof on Youtube of his distracted driving, so him killing a neighbor's dog carelessly and taking no responsibility for it sounds very, very likely. Chris wouldn't have posted about it because it makes him look bad no matter what. He complained about the WalMart banning because he always feels unfairly treated in those retail establishment disputes. If the story is true, Chris probably tried to forget about it happening immediately.

I can hear him in the back of my head, pleading to his neighbor that it was just an accident. I mean, everybody has an accident at least once in their lives. Plus he's been under a lot of stress lately, from all the God Danged Dirty trolls on the internet. He can't be blamed for it, really. It could have happened to anyone under the circumstances.

 

[Silver]

My mom ran over a snake by accident a few weeks ago and felt awful about it (she loves snakes) for a few days afterward to the point of nearly crying

My mom is also not Chris

 

[LoveYouLongTime]

Oh God, the snake thing. I was fucking livid about that. Who goes out of their way to run over a healthy animal. I will way, I somehow question the credibility of Chris hitting a dog. And if he did, I actually do think Chris would feel bad. He can relate to owning a dog better than running over a snake. Buuuuut, at the same time I wouldn't be surprised if he made up some excuse like, "well it was a stray dog" or "the neighbors should have had it leashed." Still, if this is true I'll probably lose my shit.

Not sure how public this is, but he tried stealing his neighbor's dog before because it managed to get out of its lead. Chris' excuse was that it was their fault because they should have had it on a leash. He reluctantly gave the dog back, because the it was on a leash and it just happened to get out. Chris logic.

Chris doesn't live in a super rural area. The people around there still keep their dogs tethered/contained because it's still close to a couple of main roads.

 

[milkshark]

What strikes me as weird is that two of the four people had no idea who he was, and two of the four told stories about him killing dogs, threatening people and exposing himself to minors.

If his behavior was really that publicly egregious, it seems inevitable that people living on the same tiny cul-de-sac as him would have been aware to some degree. I suppose they might have just not wanted to talk to a random guy about it, but that part sounds really weird to me.

Every murderer has a street of neighbors who had no idea who he was. People don't have enough sense of community to pay attention to who lives on their street. I'm not surprised about anything that was claimed. It all sounds pretty likely, even if it is made up. Chris wearing skirts without underwear is fucking horrifying, meaning he probably does it. The wind probably blew his paper thin Walmart skirt up and bared his pickle for all to see. Then he may or may not have driven over some dogs.

 

[timtommy]

Every murderer has a street of neighbors who had no idea who he was. People don't have enough sense of community to pay attention to who lives on their street. I'm not surprised about anything that was claimed. It all sounds pretty likely, even if it is made up. Chris wearing skirts without underwear is fucking horrifying, meaning he probably does it. The wind probably blew his paper thin Walmart skirt up and bared his pickle for all to see. Then he drove over some dogs.

Right, but we are not talking about a murderer who is hiding bodies and trying to be secretive. Those are cases where noone notices, and he is trying not to be noticed.

We are talking about a weirdo who makes public scenes. Half the people say "OMG, what huge and ridiculous scenes he made" and the other half said "who?"

That is the dichotomy that puzzles me. I would have expected most people to say "Oh yeah, that guy seems a little weird, I have noticed him a couple times", instead of exclusively reactions at the extremes.

 

[drmccoy]

I have little reason to doubt the neighbors. Hell, some of them have probably been ween'd accidentally because of proximity. He's the local weirdo and enough people know him that stuff will circulate. I bet two of the three stories were first hand and the dog one was second hand. Like "Yeah, my kid saw this cross-dresser's skirt flip and and I heard that he also hit the guy down the street's dog." sort of thing.

 

[nsan]

Right, but we are not talking about a murderer who is hiding bodies and trying to be secretive. Those are cases where noone notices, and he is trying not to be noticed.

Yeah, you said it yourself. No one notices.
So how can you be so sure that Chris never hid a body in his life?

 

[milkshark]

Right, but we are not talking about a murderer who is hiding bodies and trying to be secretive. Those are cases where noone notices, and he is trying not to be noticed.

We are talking about a weirdo who makes public scenes. Half the people say "OMG, what huge and ridiculous scenes he made" and the other half said "who?"

That is the dichotomy that puzzles me. I would have expected most people to say "Oh yeah, that guy seems a little weird, I have noticed him a couple times", instead of exclusively reactions at the extremes.

You're forgetting that Chris sleeps most of the day, only frequents stores where he doesn't stand out much apart from looking trashy, and actually stays at home most of his waking hours. He actually doesn't make a scene, apart from a few outbursts over the course of a few years.

 

[GREEDY FIREMAN]

I have little reason to doubt the neighbors. Hell, some of them have probably been ween'd accidentally because of proximity. He's the local weirdo and enough people know him that stuff will circulate. I bet two of the three stories were first hand and the dog one was second hand. Like "Yeah, my kid saw this cross-dresser's skirt flip and and I heard that he also hit the guy down the street's dog." sort of thing.

I don't think people are doubting the neighbors, it's the guy who 'interveiwed' them that is questionable.

 

[Some JERK]

Dog owners in the country often let their dogs run free. The only traffic is usually other neighbors, so it's not very dangerous as long as everyone looks out for them.

If you want to spend a nice, leisurely afternoon digging ticks out of your dog, then that's the fastest way to make it happen. (Tick collars are a joke.)

But you're right, in rural areas some people do let their dogs roam free, but in my personal experience most of their neighbors wish that they didn't.

 

[milkshark]

If you want to spend a nice, leisurely afternoon digging ticks out of your dog, then that's the fastest way to make it happen. (Tick collars are a joke.)

Haha, I have been there. My Chihuahua wasn't fixed when I first got him. He snuck out to get busy, was gone for a full day and night, and we got a call from a house like 5 miles away that saw his collar tag. He was completely covered in ticks!

 

[Super Collie]

Chiming in, the person who made the timelapse video, "KnownTK", is a former editor of Encyclopedia Dramatica and contributed heavily to their page on VampiricSpektor. I probably botched the spelling of that but whatever. His "Malcurian" project was tangentially related to his ED trolling and he was formerly the host of a monthly web show called "The Lulz News Network" that he has conveniently taken down from YouTube (it was about as terrible as the name implies). Makes sense that former EDiot would become a "2edgy4u" avant garde artist.

Just in case anyone was wondering, since there was some discussion over who made the time lapse and why.

 

[waffle]

If you want to spend a nice, leisurely afternoon digging ticks out of your dog, then that's the fastest way to make it happen. (Tick collars are a joke.)

But you're right, in rural areas some people do let their dogs roam free, but in my personal experience most of their neighbors wish that they didn't.

P much. That and the country people who let their dogs run are either people who's dogs stay on their land or people who's dogs eventually get shot for harassing cattle/the neighbors dog/ getting bitey with strangers or get killed by animals.

In my experience people who let their dogs run are like the ghetto mom on the news saying how her boy "didn't do nothin'" when he robbed the gas station and the person who shot him in the course or his armed robbery is the real criminal. The dogs that are "good dogs" stay close to home and don't cause problems. The dogs that roam tend to be the same ones that bite kids and fight other dogs. Then, the owners get all confrontational with the guy who shot it like he's the one who started their problem. Dogs are cool when you're part of their pack, but at the end of the day they're territorial predators with a pack mentality that have the potential to be dangerous to other people and their livestock.

TL;DR if you like you dog, keep it home.