Cultcow Russell Greer / Mr. Green / @ just_some_dude_named_russell29 / A Safer Nevada PAC - Swift-Obsessed Sex Pest, Convicted of E-Stalking, "Eggshell Skull Plaintiff" Pro Se Litigant, Homeless, aspiring brothel owner

[Cripple]

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http://www.tapeacall.com/wmrqb2zu7d

ETA a transcript for those who can't listen. It's not the best, my phone is quiet and he's hard to hear in the first place.

After a generic voicemail greeting:

"Hi, Jay and (unintelligible, maybe 'Robert'), this is Russell Greer, I know we haven't talked in a while. I just wanted to let you know that I'm gonna be releasing the Taylor Swift book, um, (unintelligible), and I'm going to be sending y'all a copy. So, I just wanna let you know. Well, have a happy labour day."

Russholio clearly is delaying his book release because he intends to do a book tour first, like a real author would. Just think of all the 10s falling into his lap at B&N as he slurps his way through reading the excerpt from his book where he and T. Swift have passionate, mutually satisfying sex.

Do it Russ, you know how women love an intelligent, successful man.

 

[Fancy Carstairs]

is russ a kiss virgin?

is he even capable of kissing?

 

[Cripple]

is russ a kiss virgin?

is he even capable of kissing?

Apparently some poor sex worker laid her lips on either his top or bottom one because he has put in a book that one "kissed [him] in a way that was good for [him]".

But, no, it probably wasn't a kiss in the way most would consider one.

 

[Fancy Carstairs]

Apparently some poor sex worker laid her lips on either his top or bottom one because he has put in a book that one "kissed [him] in a way that was good for [him]".

But, no, it probably wasn't a kiss in the way most would consider one.

I'm not sure if 'horrifying' is a negative post rating so I will use this post to say that that is flippin horrifying

 

[SwiftlyRuiningRussell]

Here we go with the dream sequence stupidity again. An owl? WTF

 

[N0t4blet4rt]

Sorry if this has been shared already but what in the actual fuck? I've read Twilight fan fiction better than this

 

[Fag Smut]

He can't move his lips so at best a hooker gave him oral on his mouth.

Kissing a hooker is fucking vile though.

 

[N0t4blet4rt]

@SwiftlyRuiningRussell you beat me to it. If only I could be as verbose describing my dreams.

 

[Fag Smut]

Lol Russ really thought he'd send Taylor Swift some shitty song and she'd spurn her long line of world famous and wildly successful suitors for a disfigured mail clerk who's afraid to board an airplane.

If there's a heaven, it's eavesdropping on Russ on a date with Taylor Swift. What could he even talk about.

 

[Nakie]

is russ a kiss virgin?

is he even capable of kissing?

I would imagine kissing him would be like trying to resuscitate a goat.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

Here we go with the dream sequence stupidity again. An owl? WTF
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So basically Russ wants people to pay to read vile descriptions of his wet dreams about Taylor Swift. Gross, gross, gross.

 

[Paige Matheson]

Can Taylor Swift get a No Contact Order on Russ?

 

[Cripple]

Sorry if this has been shared already but what in the actual fuck? I've read Twilight fan fiction better than this

It's like Gonzo journalism without the drugs.

 

[FreddieMercury]

Sorry if this has been shared already but what in the actual fuck? I've read Twilight fan fiction better than this

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a black owl swooped down and landed on my shoulder. "She's waiting for you, Russell," the owl said in the voice of Morgan Freeman.
​

Of course. How could he miss the opportunity to slip in some casual racism?

 

[DrJonesHat]

Can Taylor Swift get a No Contact Order on Russ?

Probably, but I doubt she'd bother. He's being annoying but poses very little actual threat to her. He's much more dangerous to regular women who don't have the resources to keep him at bay.

 

[Flame the Sunbird]

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a black owl swooped down and landed on my shoulder. "She's waiting for you, Russell," the owl said in the voice of Morgan Freeman.
​

Of course. How could he miss the opportunity to slip in some casual racism?

An owl with the voice of Morgan Freeman?! This is fucking golden and has already exceeded my wildest expectations. This is gonna be some serious Sonichu level of bizarre wish-fulfillment fantasy.

 

[nannylumps]

Can Taylor Swift get a No Contact Order on Russ?

Sure she could, but in Russ's mind that'll probably be considered a victory for him. "I got her to notice me!" he'll end up saying. Which is all he really wants at the end of the day, just some sort of acknowledgement from Taylor herself that she knows about him. That would make his little exceptional life I bet.

 

[uglytroll4u]

So, in his weird fantasy, Russhole has telescopic eyesight, and is Doctor Doolittle. Fucking awesome.

 

[Fag Smut]

It's really too bad Taylor would rather date guys with careers and personalities. If only she went to Applebee's with Russ, his birth mom would have finally regret Spartan abandoning him.

 

[CWCissey]

It's really too bad Taylor would rather date guys she can get an album's worth of material out of.

FTFY.