He was 33 years old when he was meant to attend that wedding, the same age when Jesus was crucified.
In a perfect alternate universe, the SWAT Team was called to Leanna's half-brother's wedding and Phil wouldn't comply with police all the while flailing his partially-obscured camera in his hand and at the same time seemingly strapped with a variety of canapés.
His last words were before his martyrdom were, "This sauce is flavorful, and also a little tangy, okay? The salmon, itself, is a bit dry..."
But I bring you the Good News:
The Gospel According to St. Gout, XXVIII, 1-6
1 In the end of the hardcore gaming season, as the sun shone brightly toward the first day of the week, came Leanna to see the sepulchre.
2 And, behold, there was a great earthquake: and a sickly Norwegian crawled up from his lair, and came and tried to roll back the stone from the door before collapsing in fatigue, and instead he sat upon it.
3 His countenance was like autism, and his raiment full of incomprehensible Japanese script and a fat-man's charicature:
4 And for fear of him children did run away, and fled to their mothers' skirts.
5 And the Norwegian answered and said unto the fulltime girlfriend, Fearest not thou: for I know that thou seekest Phil, which was shot down.
6 He is still here, and not yet risen: for it is only 1 in the afternoon. Now, prepare thou his lunch despite thy flu.