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Screenplay by two cool dudes
CompyRex i hear that when expendables 3 is released, instead of a fourth one, theyre doing a new movie where rocky balboa, john "dutch" matrix, casey ryback, apollo "dillon" creed, and mac cooke come out of retirement to face down ivan drago (who has stolen predator technology) and save america from pissants
steel drums
Screenplay by two cool dudes
CompyRex i hear that when expendables 3 is released, instead of a fourth one, theyre doing a new movie where rocky balboa, john "dutch" matrix, casey ryback, apollo "dillon" creed, and mac cooke come out of retirement to face down ivan drago (who has stolen predator technology) and save america from pissants
- CompyRex also one of the scenes is based off of the stupid dune buggy bit from star trek nemesis but itll be cool this time
Yesterday at 11:21 PM Delete 
Sexual Stallone I heard that they have already released a poster for it
Yesterday at 11:24 PM Delete- CompyRex early on theres tension in the group and in one bit ryback and cooke get in a fight and cookes like "you scared mothafucka? well you should be, cause this green beret's about to kick yo big ass" and ryback is swinging a knife around like in the end of under siege when hes fighting tommy lee jones and then cookes like "gonna have me some fun, gonna have me some fun" and rocky has to break the skirmish up
Yesterday at 11:25 PM Delete - CompyRex and apollo asks how they can put aside all of their differences so easily and hes like "two or three men in out there at the most" so rocky replies "if i can change, and you can change, everybody can change!"
Yesterday at 11:25 PM Delete - CompyRex then matrix bursts down the door in his combat attire and war paint and rocket launcher on his back and hes like "come with me if you want to live" and they start their perilous trek to drago's hideout
Yesterday at 11:27 PM Delete - CompyRex meanwhile old rocky has been hallucinating about his dead mentors and the gost of duke is like "no pain! no pain!" as rocky struggles to climb the mountain (remember he suffered much damage in rocky iv also rocky v and rocky balboa are not canon movies anymore because theyre lame)
Yesterday at 11:29 PM Delete - Sexual Stallone Go on
Yesterday at 11:30 PM Delete - CompyRex also ivan drago's main bodyguard is worf from star trek and hes like "today is a good day to die" and drago nods his head and concurs "if he dies, he dies"
Yesterday at 11:31 PM Delete - CompyRex also stuntman thomas rosales jr. plays a notable henchman who has a notable death because hes like in every single 80s/90s action movie
Yesterday at 11:32 PM Delete - CompyRex then mac scouts ahead and finds the dying det. harrigan who hands him an old 1700s flintlock pistol and says "take it" like in the end of predator 2 but now its the other away around. mac returns to the others shaken up about seeing a dead former comrade. "mac - look at me!" matrix says to the vacant mac cooke
Yesterday at 11:34 PM Delete - Sexual Stallone The guy from predator 2 lol
Yesterday at 11:35 PM Delete - CompyRex oh and also bill paxton plays a role (duh) but i dont want to spoil it yet
Yesterday at 11:38 PM Delete - Sexual Stallone GAME OVER MAN, GAME OVER
Yesterday at 11:38 PM Delete - CompyRex ryback examines the old gun because hes both a cook and a scientist and he discovers two traces of blood on it - danny glovers...and ivan dragos blood. "if he bleeds, we can kill him" rocky looks up to the skies and, again, sees the gost of duke, who tells him "hes cut! hes cut!"
Yesterday at 11:43 PM Delete - Sexual Stallone Can we have a CGI version of Charles Bronson?
Yesterday at 11:44 PM Delete - CompyRex yeah hes in the leaked script but i forget his role because i dont really know much about death wish
Yesterday at 11:48 PM Delete - CompyRex so maybe you can find the script yourself and relay the scenes here
Yesterday at 11:48 PM Delete - CompyRex then matrix says to ryback "what da hell are you..." and ryback says "im just a cook" and then shockingly chuck zito bursts out of the foilage knocks out ryback with one punch, killing him instantly. mac screams "COOOONNNTAAAAAAACT!!!" and fires but chuck zito dodges the bullets and says "ay baba this is like the time i cracked van damme in the face"
Yesterday at 11:51 PM Delete - CompyRex but then jcvd himself appears and kills chuck zito and winks to the others before going back to the future because hes the timecop
Yesterday at 11:52 PM Delete - CompyRex the rest of the team is glad that rybacks gone though because under siege isnt that good except for some bits
Yesterday at 11:53 PM Delete - Sexual Stallone He basically uses a magnum to shoot people from 10 miles away and has a bitchin stache, he could be like the guy who saves the expendables halfway through the movie when they're pinned down somewhere and don't have anywhere else to go
I obviously don't have your writing skills 
Yesterday at 11:54 PM Delete - CompyRex yeah i vividly remember that from the leaked script thanks
Yesterday at 11:55 PM Delete - Sexual Stallone Then Apollo has a flashback from that time Mac was his chief in the police deparment and asked that fat guy "If I punch you again, you're probably going to throw my small ass down the hall right?" the fat guy nods, Apollo starts to walk back but then turns around and tackles him through the door
Yesterday at 11:58 PM Delete - CompyRex so the remaining four continue their way to dragos lair (the surrounding area is a tropical jungle rainforest tundra environment). mac pulls out the bfg "payback time"
Yesterday at 11:59 PM Delete - CompyRex apollo notices the blood spilling out of his shoulder "youre hit!" he says "youre bleeding, man" mac replies, without glancing back "i aint got time to bleed".
Today at 12:01 AM Delete - CompyRex macs shoulder
Today at 12:01 AM Delete - Sexual Stallone Then Ryback says from the grave "I have a little chinese potion that can cure that" Mac replies "cure what?" and Ryback hits him in the face and throws him to the ground
Today at 12:02 AM Delete - CompyRex "what do we do about ryback and harrigans corpses" rocky asks matrix. matrix, doesnt reply, because he sees bill paxton come down nearby in a helicopter. "leave anything for me?" he says. matrix replies "just bodies". then the helicopter goes away with the two deceased heroes but theres not enough room in the vehicle so paxton has to stay behind with the team
Today at 12:04 AM Delete - CompyRex meanwhile in ivan drago's compound...
Today at 12:05 AM Delete - Sexual Stallone He's training in a poorly lit room, doing military presses, jogging, punching that thing that measures his power, until he hears the intruder alarm...
Today at 12:07 AM Delete - CompyRex his pissants are getting ready for battle. one of the colombians, el scorpio, prepares his weapons and cocaine for the upcoming battle.
Today at 12:08 AM Delete - CompyRex "venga! venga!" he says to his men, imploring them to prepare for a glorious battle (obedience brings victory, and victory is life) "chigale! chingale!" he sputters before doing a big ass hit of coke, saying "come and get iiiit, el scorpio is reeeady" and he grabs his grenade launcher
Today at 12:08 AM Delete - Sexual Stallone we need to appeal to women and put Maria Conchita Alonso in there, with the haircut she had in Predator 2
Today at 12:11 AM Delete - CompyRex push it to the limit starts playing
Today at 12:11 AM Delete - CompyRex maria conchita alonso at one point says "fuuuuuck, theyre dying man!"
Today at 12:12 AM Delete - CompyRex anyway they enter the compound and its completely silent. matrix tries to bait any enemies into attacking and says "do it. do it! come on im here! kill me!! do it now! im here!! kill me!!" and apollos like "two or three men in here at the most"
Today at 12:17 AM Delete - CompyRex then the pissants pop out and theres like a million of them and theyre all ambiguously central american
Today at 12:18 AM Delete - Sexual Stallone then trautman turns to rambo and asks "What are we going to do?" and rambo answers "...Fuck them..."
Today at 12:20 AM Delete - CompyRex paxton yells "game over man! game over!" and he gets hit by one of el scorpio's (hes from predator 2 by the way) grenades. matrix and apollo look at each other, both knowing that their deaths are likely imminent...
Today at 12:21 AM Delete - CompyRex but rocky, steadfast in his faith of jesus and knowing that everything that is hard is actually easy amen alleluia amen, refuses to throw the damn towel. he then clicks a button on his one thing and tells the gang that hes calling in an old favor
Today at 12:22 AM Delete - Sexual Stallone then stallone turns to drago and says "Bridgette Wilson will never fuck you Drago and while were at it so does Sandra Bullock"
Today at 12:23 AM Delete - CompyRex just then, the wall BURSTS and THE ULTIMATE MALE - THUNDERLIPS THE SUBURBAN COMMANDO - charges and mows down most of the pissants (the others are killed gloriously by john matrix and the rest)
Today at 12:24 AM Delete - CompyRex apollo, remembering far away days, asks why thunderlips came to help. he replies "JUST HELPING THE ULTIMATE MEATBALL SAVE HIS COUNTRY AGAIN SINCE I WASNT ABLE TO APPEAR IN ROCKY IV" and then they all take a polaroid for charity together before thunderlips leaves to go to parts unknown
Today at 12:25 AM Delete - Sexual Stallone then Matrix says to Conchita Alonso "Please, don't disturb the pissants, they're dead tired"
Today at 12:27 AM Delete - CompyRex also the gost of det. harrigan appears and goes towards el scorpio, who is barely breathing and happens to be a cyborg. he then crushes his skull and says "lights out" before disappearing back to heaven probably
Today at 12:28 AM Delete - CompyRex then they come across a two way chamber. rocky and apollo go left, while mac and matrix go right
Today at 12:30 AM Delete - CompyRex matrix and mac stumble upon drago's first officer bodyguard champion defender of evil klingon warrior worf. worf uses his disruptor (not a phaser because worf is a bad dude and not wearing his starfleet uniform) and shoots mac
Today at 12:32 AM Delete - Sexual Stallone While they're walking down the halways "the winner takes it all" starts playing
Today at 12:32 AM Delete - CompyRex
"mac? mac. mac!!!!" matrix says, and then he turns towards worf and says "you cold blooded bastard! remember worf when i promised to kill you last? (from a previous flashback) i lied" and then he takes his battle vest off and pulls out his knife
Today at 12:33 AM Delete - CompyRex
also mac is ok because the disruptor was set to stun not kill, but matrix is still going to fight to the death regardless
Today at 12:34 AM Delete - Sexual Stallone
Since the beginning of the movie they've all been thinking "Man Jace is lame, I don't get what's so funny about him" then "feeling so good today" starts playing
Today at 12:36 AM Delete - CompyRex
worf says "john, ill be ready, john". this causes matrix to have a sudden panic attack. those words! they do not come from the mouth of a klingon warrior, but rather from an old foe who matrix thought he already killed
Today at 12:36 AM Delete - CompyRex
cue da steel drums in the background
Today at 12:37 AM Delete - CompyRex
"bennett?! i thought you were - "
"dead? you thought wrong. ever since you had me impaled with a pipe, ive waited to pay you back john. do you know what today is matrix? pay day"
Today at 12:37 AM Delete - CompyRex
"no tranquilizers. this time im going to use the real thing!" he yells as he shoots matrix in the shoulder
Today at 12:38 AM Delete - CompyRex
oh and bennett already took off the worf costume
Today at 12:39 AM Delete - Sexual Stallone
then bennett says to matrix "You got old John, you got old..."
Today at 12:41 AM Delete - CompyRex
"john? hows your arm john?"
"come ova and find out"
"no thanks, i think ill take a pass. john? stick your head out. one shot right between the eyes. ill make it quick! just for old times sake"
Today at 12:41 AM Delete - CompyRex
instead of continuing this familiar banter, matrix instead lunges at bennett, eyes ablaze with protective justice for both his daughter and adopted country (remember hes originally from east germany). they get into THE knife fight. none of that fancy schmancy under siege stuff
Today at 12:43 AM Delete - Sexual Stallone
Sussudio starts playing
56 minutes ago Delete - CompyRex
but still, bennett manages to keep matrix at bay and the knife fight is mostly a draw. but then bennett gets matrix on the ropes and says "ive done far worse than kill you. ive hurt you, and i wish to go on hurting you. i shall leave you as you left me. marooned for all eternity in the basement of some ambiguous central american compound. impaled to a waaaall. impaled to a waaaall"
56 minutes ago Delete - CompyRex
all matrix can do is scream..."BENNETT!!!!!!" and it echoes
55 minutes ago Delete - CompyRex
but bennett then changes his mind because the worf star trek implants were influencing him earlier but now hes better so he says "john i feel GOOD, just like old times! whats it feel like to be a dying man? youre a dead man john...!" matrix glares at him from the corner of his eye...............
54 minutes ago Delete - CompyRex
.............................................................................................BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!!!
54 minutes ago Delete - CompyRex
and then he beats the shit out of bennett and, yet again, impales him with a giant pipe. this time, though, he says "stick around" because theres no steam coming out of it anymore sadly
53 minutes ago Delete - CompyRex
mac has since recovered and is waiting for matrix at the exit. matrix jokes "i was afraid youd miss me!" and mac sardonically replies "dont worry, i wont" and he aims a submachine gun at matrix. then he stops and the two of them laugh and reminisce about old times
51 minutes ago Delete - CompyRex
meanwhile, at the other end of the building, rocky balboa and apollo creed enter a room covered in soviet stuff
50 minutes ago Delete - Sexual Stallone
"we fight for love" starts playing
50 minutes ago Delete - CompyRex
oh yeah before the two leave mac asks matrix for reassurance about whether or not this is the last time since theyre both gettin ooold. bennett manages, with his last breath, "until the next time!" matrix just stares back at him as power station's hit starts playing....................................
48 minutes ago Delete - CompyRex
.............................................."no chance"
48 minutes ago Delete - Sexual Stallone
what happened with rocky and apollo?
48 minutes ago Delete - CompyRex
words like steel emanate through the cold, communist room "i cannot be defeated. i defeat all man. soon i defeat real champion. if he dies, he dies" this sends shivers down their spines
45 minutes ago Delete - CompyRex
just then, a punch registering at 1000000000000 psi comes across the room and hits apollo, breaking every bone in his body and his brains start to leak through his cracked skull and it makes a hissing noise. all rocky can do is yell "NOOOO!!!!!" like ash in evil dead ii and he comforts his surely dead friend as he passes on
43 minutes ago Delete - Sexual Stallone
"He always lived his life, the way he wanted it, I will never forget you, Apollo"
42 minutes ago Delete - CompyRex
though its only a harsh, light whisper, apollos last words are clear to rocky. "#BEPEACE" he says, and then dies. his tortured soul goes to heaven and god himself addresses him by action jackson
39 minutes ago Delete - CompyRex
rocky steps up bravely and prepares to meet his end. he steps into the red ring as the siberian bull himself enters
36 minutes ago Delete - CompyRex
rocky fights bravely but hes knocked the fugg out immediately. drago then steps on his hand, crushing it. rocky screams "ADRIAAAAN!!!!!!" in pain
35 minutes ago Delete - Sexual Stallone
"final fight theme" starts playing
34 minutes ago Delete - CompyRex
he rolls out of the ring and falls into a workshed underneath the compound. there he cuts off his mangled hand (the boxing glove fused with it too because drago's fists are also on fire and a chemical reaction happened) and, gritting his teeth (or rather tooth, since drago decked him earlier), tapes a chainsaw to his arm
33 minutes ago Delete - CompyRex
also drago has his black mouthguard in like in rocky iv so he looks super scary
32 minutes ago Delete - CompyRex
also rocky soon realizes that its not a chainsaw but actually its \M/ETAL cocanium
31 minutes ago Delete - CompyRex
cocainum
31 minutes ago Delete - Sexual Stallone
with a low angle light
31 minutes ago Delete - CompyRex
gathering up all his strength, the gosts of apollo, duke, mickey, adrian, paulie, clubber lang, and the spirit (not gost since hes still alive) of thunderlips all provide emotional support to frail rocky. meanwhile both the final fight theme AND hearts on fire start playing at the same time in a glorious american medley
29 minutes ago Delete - Sexual Stallone
"SEE, SEE! HE'S NOT A MACHINE, HE'S A MAN"
24 minutes ago Delete - CompyRex
"DRAGOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" rocky yells as he did on the mountaintops many years prior. ivan drago's eyes widen in fear, something which he has been bred to never show
21 minutes ago Delete - CompyRex
soviet leaders and ludmilla drago watch from above and wonder why drago has not already defeated this little italian stallion
20 minutes ago Delete - CompyRex
rocky lays down a flurry of jabs. this does not harm drago at all but somehow, believed by many to be only from the power and glory of blains chewing tobacco, drago gets cut and bleeds a bit. "HES CUT!!! HES CUT!!!" NO PAIN!! NO PAIN!!!" the gost of duke screams in rockys ear
18 minutes ago Delete - CompyRex
the bright red soviet walls and floor are washed away in drago's darker red blood. his surge of nationalism is fleeting and soon it disappears completely. drago has broken free from his controllers. "i fight for ME. FOR ME!!!!!!!" he proclaims in his native tongue
16 minutes ago Delete - CompyRex
drago literally splits in two from the amazing explosion that occurs within him. two dragos now stand. one still wearing ussr shorts and one with......AMERICAN SHORTS THAT MATCH ROCKY'S!!!
15 minutes ago Delete - CompyRex
also the final fight theme surges to the one bit where its like "duh duh DUH duhduhDUH duh duhDUH duh duh DUH" and the two dragos fight. one fights for his country and the other fights "FOR ME!!!"
13 minutes ago Delete - Sexual Stallone
Ok this is actually pretty amazing
12 minutes ago Delete - CompyRex
but both are evenly matched. rocky rises with what little strength remains and tells the good drago "if i can change, and you can change, ANYBODY CAN CHANGE!!!!!!!!" and his powerful words cause the evil drago to waste away into a dessicated husk.
10 minutes ago Delete - CompyRex
drago then goes to a hidden box he kept under the ring. inside is a large american flag. clearly drago's thoughts of independence have been going on for awhile. he then drapes it over champion rocky's shoulders. john matrix and mac stand up and applause
7 minutes ago Delete
Sexual Stallone
"hearts on fire" starts playing again
4 minutes ago Delete
CompyRex
hearts on fire starts playing again and the gosts of all of their fallen friends (det. harrigan, ryback, paxton, duke and of course apollo) appear in the stands and rocky says, in tears, "i just want to say one thing to the prettiest ween who should be home sleeping: merry christmas kid!"
4 minutes ago Delete
Sexual Stallone
"measure of a man" starts playing with a montage of black and white pics from the first 3 expendables
3 minutes ago Delete
