Allen John Jones III / Coolbreeze88 / Ambition1394 / XBLspartanx170 / Webmaster16 / NoName360 / Axis - A Modern Gallelio: Alt-Right, Black Cock Enthusiast, PK A-Log, TGWTG Fanboy, Bath Salts User

[BlueBlob]

Aww craps. Didn't know it had been posted before. My bad.

 

[Hiragana]

It's been said on this forum before, but there's a hell of a good reason that intelligence and wisdom are different stats in DnD. Listen to your manuals kids, they got good life lessons in there.

Until you've got a True Autism alignment, can need some im

 

[Cthulu]

Aww craps. Didn't know it had been posted before. My bad.

Always two there is

 

[TougherToenails]

Hurr durr check it 130 iq uhh so y'all just gonna ignore the fact that pussy had NO grip?

To be fair you have to have a pretty high iq to comment on porn videos

 

[SomethingWittyandBadass]

Jesus christ this is more pathetic than trying to troll Chris chan.

 

[KM 749]

Hurr durr check it 130 iq uhh so y'all just gonna ignore the fact that pussy had NO grip?

To be fair you have to have a pretty high iq to comment on porn videos

Let me take the circlejerk to its logical conclusion:

Coolbreeze is the perfect prototype to compare genius. Every slight detail that strays from his behavior is a degree away from intellectual enlightenment.

 

[Dismaying Tree]

This thread fucking jumped. I kept on trying to catch up today, but it gained a page every time I refreshed.
Is it confirmed if blueblob is coolbreeze, or is he actually a seperate person?

 

[Reynard]

Is his name in any way a reference to that one character that Sketchers did for a line of kids shoes aimed at boys?

More importantly, why do I remember those commercials?

 

[Rare Drop]

This is the absolute worst end when making a post or thread on this site. Well, outside of ending up in jail.

 

[KickTheAutisticWorldChamp]

This thread fucking jumped. I kept on trying to catch up today, but it gained a page every time I refreshed.
Is it confirmed if blueblob is coolbreeze, or is he actually a seperate person?

Separate person, but very invested in chastising people for dunking on people by calling them autistic.

 

[Cripple]

Everytime someone posts their supposed IQ online they're automatically actually 50 points below whatever they posted.

 

[HomeAloneTwo]

Whenever I go to bed early, something fun happens.

 

[Dewey Manlove]

Aww craps. Didn't know it had been posted before. My bad.

You know Blob, you've got a tiny boner for this Asper-Jew because of his anti-autism stance and you--for some reason--seem to think you're among allies here. In reality the stuff he's written on that subject is spot on and is so far the only known example of him exhibiting a non-lolcow opinion.

 

[Ravi93]

Bruh you don't introduce yourself on Kiwifarms. That's like bleeslding with autism. This isn't your personal blog

 

[Scratch This Nut]

I'm fucking crying. Honor roll 130 IQ my ass. You'd think a modern-day Galileo with the creative mind of Mozart would lern2internet better.

Do you think he'll come back & try to defend himself like Rocketsune (another prententious fur who fancies himself a genius, for the uninformed)? I sure hope so. At least he's not a pedophile. . .I hope.

Something that really stood out to me about his "modern Galileo" journal was that he said that Galileo proved the earth was round.

 

[Johnny Bravo]

Rega Hellside Detour Chapter 1: The Theif

So this is CB88's fursona story. First off, what a title! A truly great title invites the reader to ask questions. What or who is Rega? Where is Hellside and why are we taking a detour through it? Searching for "rega" turned up a company called Rega Research Ltd but somehow I don't think this story is about them.

Spoiler

the blue fox was bold in his strides. each and every one of his steps came with an audible thud as if he was trying to beat the worn out dirt trail in submission.

Here we go, the first couple sentences of our story. This is where most writers will take the time to peak our interest, introduce a character, or establish setting. CB88, genius that he is, does at least two.

it was still early in the morning and the sensation of dew was still heavy in the air, he embraced the refreshing breeze with a look of unwarranted optimism and confidence.

What masterful characterization. CB88 lets us know right away that Rega's optimism and confidence are unwarranted, a clear hint of challenges ahead for our oblivious hero.

their hasn't been much company as of late, rega decided his line of err... "business" would be best served on a path much less traveled as they... and away from a certain amount of unwelcome "Seekers".

Okay, I can't be sarcastic anymore. What the hell am I reading?

You can't just drop a new concept like "Seekers" on top of the reader without establishing something about them. Are the Seekers our villains? Why is "Seekers" capitalized but Rega's name is not? What is "a path much less traveled"? Are we talking about a metaphorical path or the literal path Rega is walking down? Who are "they" and are they different from Seekers? I'm so baffled.

the abandoned lumbering trail seems like a very ill advised path to take.

Lumbering - moving in a slow, heavy, awkward way.

I've also just noticed that CB88 has a bad habit of switching from past to present tense. This is an amateur mistake. So is neglecting proper capitalization and using "their" instead of "there" but I hope you'll forgive me for omitting the obvious.

yet, he kept pace, not even being phased with the hazards of being out in the untamed wilderness.

By the way, so far each quote has represented a new paragraph. Most of CB88's "paragraphs" are only a sentence long. Using single sentence paragraphs may be a stylistic choice but not this early and never this often.

the brush and various grasses have of couse began to replace to what was once a business route to most who labored in the area. hauling what they managed to cut down in their selective on behemoth automotive hauling machines.

he may not look it from the noticeable lack of a backpack, but he had everything he needed for the trip over the mountain.


Rega suddenly stopped and looked around. sometimes even he is all lone, it never quite feels like it.

What kind of business route travels over a mountain? And what is a "selective on behemoth automotive hauling machine"? If CB88 is trying to say that Raga is hiking through an abandoned logging camp then he should have just, well, said that.

knowing he was safe, he began making sporadic arm and movements followed by making what appeared to be a "closed peace sign" in his bent arm, then clasping his hands together.

as he slowly began to separate his hands, a great display of blue colored light and a sound of a cross between an electric transformer and a gust of wind as it whistles through a glade of pines as a rolled up peace of paper began to reveal itself out of the turmoil.

then all at once the display of light of sound stopped and he reached out his left hand to grab the parchment.

why does he have such a fondness for old maps when he could simply purchase a Ethereal Positioning System or cast a path finding spell?

Or use his smart phone's GPS for that matter.

who am I to say, I'm supposed to be keeping this story in the third person.

...

anyways...

CB88 thinks he's the Kurt Vonnegut of furry literature.

he began to unravel the map with both hands. the coloring on the map was somewhat faded but he could still manage to see the contour lines in the early morning light.

according to the map, he was well on his way through the West Mew Pass just east of the Town of Ridgeland.

the path went neglected for all these years and no one realized it was essentially a back door to Mew York.

Again, why capitalize the names of places but not the start of your sentences? I'm starting to miss Chris Chan's writing.

I'm loving these place names, too: West Jew Pass, Jew York, and the Town of Ridgeland. Way to create a theme.

through the traditional pedestrian and automotive routes, their are generally strict customs laws governing entry and exit to the city state.

Rega continued walking with the map in his hands, looking up on occasion to make sure he wasn't veering into possible itch weed.

they do the full spiel: legitimate ID, Citizenship status, Processing Fee's, and the dreaded, and Rega began to shiver at the notion, background checks.

Confirmation that Rega is a pedo?

but, as if it was something meant just for him, this narrow pass provided just the right alternative.

being secluded enough to be out of the prying eyes of any witnesses, the trail will spit him out into the southwest end of the abandoned Mew York Forest Products mill.

still technically within city limits. from there all he has to do is a book a cab for the nearest hostel and bam, he's in.

it seems like a genius plan, but of course.. no major plan goes off with out a hitch.

A genius plan to hike to an abandoned mill on a mountain in the middle of the woods and call a cab. I can't see what could possibly go wrong.

the sun began to slowly rise and finally began to properly illuminate the narrow valley, rega put his map back into dimensional storage with the same process as he could now clearly see the trail ahead of him.

Access to a pocket dimension is an awesome super power, but Raga wastes it by storing stuff he could fit in a backpack without any trouble.

Rega never really managed well when it came to competitions, the gourmet gauntlet was cancelled early due to a cooking fire burning down the gauntlet headquarters and when it came to the treasure hunt, he grew sick and tired of being endlessly watched and disqualified himself by shooting the robot parrot.

This paragraph comes out of nowhere to let us know that Rega has the tendency to fly into homicidal rages. It also implies that he set a building on fire because he couldn't handle an eating contest. I'm starting to see why he hates background checks.

after that latest incident, he and his crew went separate ways. while they went back to the citrico archipelago, he decided to head northeast to reconnect with some old friends and family..... and perhaps potential clients for his " high risk to obtain" goods.

A lot of amateur writers do this thing where they withhold innocuous information in the first chapter in a sad attempt to stimulate the reader's curiosity, such as a character's name or appearance. In actuality the first chapter is where the author should be revealing the most information so that we the audience have a baseline to understand the world of the story, the characters inside it, and what is at stake. Refusing to tell us anything about Rega's profession isn't building suspense, it's just annoying.

that's funny, he could swear his back pocket felt heavier a moment. instinctively Rega turned around and saw a rock candy darting into the wooded area to his right.

WHAT THE FUCK IS A ROCK CANDY.

"HEY MY WALLET!!" he yelled in both anger and shock as he drew his firearm. hoping the kill the pickpocketing bastard.

Rega's murderous rage returns as he rips a shotgun straight out of his furry asshole.

he has to risk getting lost, but he needed money, so he went after the thief in his or her general direction.

Thought you had a map, dipshit.

Rega ran with almost unfounded amount of speed. the brush and branched he encounted only providing a minor nuisance.

then he came across a mysterious red and purplish glow in the distance.

could it be the theifs house? if so it had rather strange lighting.

Unfounded - having no foundation or basis in fact.

well it must have been sense he saw the rock candy. this time blacked out by the light behind instead of the blur of its incredible speed.

rega seeing the thief. rushed towards the light.

the rock candy stood there for a while before seeming to "fall" into the light.

"You come back here you moron!!" Rega said in frustration as he approached what turned out to seemingly be an illuminated hole in the ground.

rega.. impulsive as he is. desides to stare down into the void.

"so... you live underground. fitting sense to me your nothing more th..." his taunt was cut short when the ground from under him gave way and he found himself falling into what turned out to be a portal as he began to carry him along into a destination unknown.

And then the blue furry fell into Hell and died, the end.

If I do another one of these I'll pick a different story. This was a hard read.

 

[TheMaxHeadroomIncident]

Being an actual autistic person, I can't help but laugh when I see these kinds of people turn themselves into lolcows. It always reminds me of why autists have such a bad rep on the net.

 

[Billy_Sama]

Can someone explain what the hell its going on in this thread. I am too normal to understand this autism.

 

[Darwin Watterson]

The Galileo comparison reminds me of, in the personal lolcow thread, @littlebiscuits had a classmate called BJ who called himself "the next Albert Einstein" but was a total sperg.

 

[Piga Dgrifm]

Can someone explain what the hell its going on in this thread. I am too normal to understand this autism.

@coolbreeze88 has a genius level IQ.