Allen John Jones III / Coolbreeze88 / Ambition1394 / XBLspartanx170 / Webmaster16 / NoName360 / Axis - A Modern Gallelio: Alt-Right, Black Cock Enthusiast, PK A-Log, TGWTG Fanboy, Bath Salts User

[MarvinTheParanoidAndroid]

But then we wouldn't get such gold as this naive babe has given us.

They can't even read the rules at the top of every page, what makes you think they'll read a guide?

 

[KM 749]

Nah, it's gotta be more diversified than that. I'm sure there are some things other lolcows have done that he hasn't. One or two at least.

Agreed. Let's leave it as a case study "How not to introduce yourself"

 

[MarvinTheParanoidAndroid]

Besides, you learn more from your mistakes than your successes.

Funnily enough, no, that has been scientifically disproven, failing repeatedly teaches you nothing about how to not fail.

 

[Linako 2.0]

They can't even read the rules at the top of every page, what makes you think they'll read a guide?

just make it like those shitty online driving courses.
you can't go to the next page until a minute or so has passed and you do a questionnaire at the end of the session to make sure they paid attention. Null should hire me to do a PSA. I need money for tendies.

 

[shitpuppy]

You gotta have such a huge IQ to use the same username on literally every website ever, what a great thread

ps: why can't I see the dude's profile

 

[Pond Scum]

You gotta have such a huge IQ to use the same username on literally every website ever, what a great thread

ps: why can't I see the dude's profile

You have to have a very large IQ to know that people can restrict viewing on their profiles.
Would love to see what happens to that profile without it.

 

[Y2K Baby]

Would love to see what happens to that profile without it.

 

[KM 749]

This thread includes valuable lessons such as:

Don't expect anyone to become your personal army
Don't use the same username on every single website you browse
Don't expect that other lolcows will overshadow your spergdom
Don't leave six years of unadulterated autism up for everyone
Don't post six years of unadulterated autism for everyone to see
Don't boast about your political leanings
Don't boast about your intelligence (especially if you can't back it up with your behavior)
Don't boast about your snobbish style of handwriting
Don't introduce your furry OC to the Farms
Don't assume that there aren't people who won't dig up every small thing they can find
Don't assume that others are just hazing you
Don't assume that threatening to sue and hacking your opponents will solve anything

...and hundreds more!

 

[Clown Baby]

Someone should write a Kiwifarms Survival Guide. It'd be just like the Zombie Survival Guide, only useful.

Only thing on it: shut up faggot, stop talking about yourself.

 

[John Furrman]

Don't introduce your furry OC to the Farms

Whoops

 

[Jetstream Sam]

44 pages of content within 3 days god damn that's funny as fuck.

His fanfictions are great. That Gokumon one is going to remain special in my heart. It goes against EVERYTHING he claims about his writing capabilities; cliches, boring plotline, originality, etc.

Also Antikiwicrusader is a cringey name and everything they wrote in communication was white knight cringe.

 

[KM 749]

I just found @coolbreeze88's twitter account. All I had to do was remove the "xbl" from "xblspartan170".
It has everything you've come to know and love about him; his poor grammar, his political edge, his furry tendencies, and lots and lots of valuable philosophy worthy of Nietzsche or Schopenhauer.

https://twitter.com/spartanx170 (http://archive.is/2bnB8)

A fitting presidential choice for someone who want to sit on their ass all day and rage at tumblrinas.

"although on the flip side. your fursona is pretty kickass"

The hypocricy bleeding from this text is almost painful.

 

[CrunkLord420]

I just found @coolbreeze88's twitter account. All I had to do was remove the "xbl" from "xblspartan170".
It has everything you've come to know and love about him; his poor grammar, his political edge, his furry tendencies, and lots and lots of valuable philosophy worthy of Nietzsche or Schopenhauer.

https://twitter.com/spartanx170 (http://archive.is/2bnB8)

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A fitting presidential choice for someone who want to sit on their ass all day and rage at tumblrinas.
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"although on the flip side. your fursona is pretty kickass"
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View attachment 295944
The hypocricy bleeding from this text is almost painful.

You spoil us

 

[Linako 2.0]

Oh my God, I was right about him being a Bernie fag earlier.

 

[MarvinTheParanoidAndroid]

just make it like those shitty online driving courses.
you can't go to the next page until a minute or so has passed and you do a questionnaire at the end of the session to make sure they paid attention. Null should hire me to do a PSA. I need money for tendies.

Screw that, we'll sell it in trade paperback and e-books. Even better, we'll get it published on Google books.

Nah, fuggit, we'll just post a PDF on the front page.

 

[TheMaxHeadroomIncident]

Oh my God, I was right about him being a Bernie fag earlier.

What was that about you being a conservative, Coolbreeze?

 

[MarvinTheParanoidAndroid]

I somehow sincerely doubt he's ever used skeletons as groundwork for any of his art, unless he thinks rubber bands count as skeletons.

 

[Trombonista]

did this place just turn into the new dobson thread

No, this is actually funny.

 

[Paradigm]

Can cows get wanker's cramp?

 

[Cosmos]

Holy shit you guys, I'm laughing so hard. This made my night.

Reading the first two pages was kind of like watching a baby crawl across a freeway, in that it was horrifically transfixing. I kept reading, hoping for a miracle. Hoping that no one could be that stupid. But I knew it was over the moment he shilled his 3edgy5me foxman OC in his first fucking post.

All I can tell any prospective Kiwis reading this post is to