Obscure Laughingstocks - Lolcows without substantial online presence.

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One of my favorite rëtards is defending a fucking Starbucks, because his mortal enemy, an “alderman” in a nigger neighborhood is trying to shut down a Starbucks.
https://www.change.org/p/alderman-c...w?source_location=combo_psf&psf_variant=combo

There was a spontaneous act of blackness there recently:http://abc7chicago.com/man-killed-2-injured-including-child-at-uptown-starbucks-shooting/2598056/

This particular Starbucks does not have the key to the shitter when the bank in the building is closed. Being Uptown, you could definitely take a coffee powershit right out on the sidewalk and not be arrested for it depending in how many other people are also shitting, or publicly masturbating, or even worst of the worst, giving money to a Streetwise salesman at the same time.
Also some happy bum or ex-nursing home resident waddling by will see a cornhole to plunge their dirty cock into, so there’s that risk.
Previously he (Littleton) shit on a brand new Ross Dress for Less because Trump. https://www.change.org/p/ross-dress-for-less-please-do-not-sell-trump-in-uptown

He’s too fucking stupid to know that Carson Pirie Scott in nearby cumin-vapor infused Lincolnwood town Center sells Ivanka Trump merchandise.
Those durkadurka jihad kebabs fucking love that place, and the weird old lady clothes they sell.
I pick up my Amazon locker shit there as well as getttin’ dem cheddar biscuits from Red Lobster in that shopping center for my hoe.

This absolute fucktard lives in a religious-org scumbag “Sro” building (Malden Arms) and sucks off the welfare tit so hard it bleeds. Socisl Justice is rëtarded to begin with, and when it’s distilled through the pure autism and low intelligence of Jeffy himself you can see it’s just a highly contagious mental illness.
I have fucked with him, to his face, when I rented in that neighborhood (caps meetings, etc) and yet he nor anyone else ever made the connection between that and my weening efforts.


Starbucks is a fucking travesty against real coffee, even fucking McCafe is better.7-11 coffee is better and at least you might get into a fight in the parking lot.

Ultimately, all this guy really trolls about is that no one who participates on hyperlocal news will buy, support or promote his shitty, shitty fucking art.
What did I just read?
Alright guys, brace yourselves. I bring you a doozy. This might be long.

https://the-hylian-metalhead.deviantart.com/

I came across this guy when a friend of mine posted this severely exceptional piece of art in a Discord chat:

shape_shifters_leage___daylight_quote_by_the_hylian_metalhead-dbis4m5.png


The description for the image in question is the following:



Naturally, I had to dig up more.

Now, I first thought about outright creating a thread on the guy, because he just hits so damn many common lolcow traits (autistic, LGBT, brony, Thomas the Tank Engine sperg, creepypasta sperg, mememaster, edgelord metalfag, weeaboo, insane political and religious beliefs...), but I'd rather test the waters by posting this stuff here first. At first I thought he had to be a troll, because there's just no way in hell a person like this exists, but he has online activity dating back to at least 2013, so I'm more inclined to believe that he's just that autistic.

I'll let him describe himself:

shape_shifter_leage___daylight_bio_better_version_by_jonathanlerner13-daip8ni.png


(http://archive.is/OElEM)

This thing was made last year, he's 18 now. That animu thing on the left is his self-insert OC "Daylight", a name he prefers to be referred as. More on that later. It should be worth noting that despite claiming to learn towards guys, he's currently dating a female. And no, I have no idea what the fuck is going on with that "boyfriend from an alternate universe" deal.

Naturally, he is not nearly as kawaii in real life:

SPOILER]
SPOILER]
me_and_daylight_by_thehylianmetalhead-db3zwfb.jpg
new_selfie_by_the_hylian_metalhead-dbnyzi5.jpg
face_reveal_for_new_watchers_by_thehylianmetalhead-day5kwr.jpg

Alternatively, this is how he describes himself in his YouTube account:



His real name is apparently Jonathan Lerner, and he lives in Florida. On his DA he claims to live in the Tampa Bay area, but on his YT he's got this cringy little video where shows us his disgusting-ass house in the small town of Okeechobee, while whining about how terrible the place is. You could probably find his full dox if you dug a little bit, since he doesn't try to hide anything, but I'm a lazy asshole.

Politically he identifies as both a fascist and a LOLbertarian at the same time (apparently, it's called being a "Capitalist Fascist", or something). On his DA bio he proudly displays many badges detailing his views, some self-made:

stop_by_jonathanlerner13-dao2ilx.png
gadsden_flag_stamp_by_picturefragments.jpg
american_nationalist_by_deltausa-darx0s1.png
nationalist_stamp_by_nuclearradiation-d93cnnb.png
vladimir_putin_stamp_by_nsuberalles-dao2sj5.png
anti_communism_stamp_by_dutchatlantic13-davwqcc.png
anti_islamic_black_metal_stamp_by_satanen-dbaj5bj.png
anti_zionism_stamp_by_dutchatlantic13-davwfh4.png
yes_to_trump__read_description__by_sweetlycanada-d9woa4a.png
fascism_stamp__including_national_socialism__by_nsuberalles-d9svshb.gif
far_right_by_nsuberalles-d9o6af8.png


He enjoys making terrible and absolutely clueless political maymays, often mixing them up with his spergtastic fandoms and obsessions:

stalin_and_bernie_meme_by_the_hylian_metalhead-dbejrf8.jpg

willy_wonka_meme_by_thehylianmetalhead-db6xam4.jpg

ussa_amerikan_bernie_sanders_propaganda_by_thehylianmetalhead-db6p58b.jpg

scumbag_kim_jong_un_meme_by_thehylianmetalhead-db5u6ml.jpg

scumbag_black_lives_matter_meme_by_thehylianmetalhead-db3pcs3.jpg

trump_executive_order_meme_by_thehylianmetalhead-db2aeej.png

communist_bernie_meme_ii_by_thehylianmetalhead-daw3i41.jpg

communist_bernie_meme_by_thehylianmetalhead-davv1fj.jpg

prophet_muhammad_meme_by_thehylianmetalhead-dau35ky.jpg

jodolf_stitler_meme_by_thehylianmetalhead-db2noxm.jpg


And many more.

He also drew these abominations, which are apparently the "Autism and Asperger's Pride Gadsden Flag" and the "LGBT Fascists Flag". I'm not fucking joking.

Apart from politics, the rest of his gallery (http://archive.is/hkmGV) mostly consists of Thomas the Tank Engine, The Legend of Zelda, creepypasta, metalfaggotry, crappy drawings of his OC made with bases, or demented combinations thereafter.

reds_vs_blues_by_thehylianmetalhead-db7641v.jpg

stalin_says_meme_by_thehylianmetalhead-db11jac.jpg

ivan_with_vladimir_putin_s_face_by_thehylianmetalhead-datj2yp.jpg

cdi_link_meme_by_jonathanlerner13-danwt2q.jpg

sir_handel_meme_by_jonathanlerner13-damn5uj.jpg

euronymous_meme_by_jonathanlerner13-damn5p5.jpg

tlol___thomas_vs_timothy_a_k_a_dark_thomas_poster_by_jonathanlerner13-dagvo9o.png

His gallery is also fucking massive because most of his deviations take almost zero effort to make. I'm not gonna dive through the whole thing, but I'm sure it's a damn near endless well of crazy.

Religiously, he used to identify as a Christian, but recently (by which I mean a week ago) he decided to abandon that faith. First he created his own pagan religion based on The Legend of Zelda (lmao), but three days later he just became an atheist. He didn't remove his Christian badges, though. Who knows, considering how unstable the dude is, he might decide to become Christian again a couple of days from now.

Also worth taking a look are the DA Groups that he has created. They include "LGBT Fascists", "Aspies of Faith", and "Shape Shifters Leage".

Now, about that last one. This is where the "Daylight" OC comes into play. "Shape Shifters Leage" (that's "leage" consistently spelled without and "U", for some reason) is an "anime" that Jonathan is "creating" alongside his friend mechatrain150. It stars his handsome bishie self insert, Daylight Lerner, which is apparently a shapeshifter. Or something. The mecha guy also has a self-insert. I honestly have no idea what the plot is meant to be, or if there even is a plot, but they appear to have been "working" on it since at least 2014. Hell, Jonathan has even created music for the "series".


His YouTube account is also filled with his particular brand of autism, but most of the videos were made when he was a kid, so I'm not as willing to happily mock them. Seems like he has not changed at all since then, though. They include angry rants on things he doesn't like, more Thomas the Tank Engine spergery, and crappy covers of metal songs. Also a public Internet slapfight with some kid called Aydan Bentley.


This video of his somehow has 81,000 views. It's a slideshow of poor quality photos of Thomas toys badly edited in MS Paint to create a crossover with Slenderman. It also has 63 likes and only 24 dislikes. This is probably proof humanity is devolving.

His covers are not as well received, though.


View attachment 317995
And finally, we have this fearsome threat towards people who dare make fun of those with autism:


I could probably say much more, but honestly, investigate by yourselves. He seems to have produced a staggering amount of tard cum, and still going strong.
Fascist metalhead railfan: that's a strange combo.
 
With the help of a colleague, I’ve boiled down what makes that FGFM guy such a prick:
He has internalized social justice and some 1980s or earlier ideas of financial success to the point anyone who doesn’t conform to his values must be doxxed, stalked and bullied into no longer posting on the internet.
He always shitposts about his money, always about how he “pays more in taxes than you earn”, etc or how he’s so inherently virtuous you need to never complain about crime on your street ever again or you’ll suffer consequences at his hands.


It takes very little for him to declare your life has no value whatsoever and it’s all very specific to his rigid beliefs. It is absolutely true that seeing social justice filtered through such a vicious, unforgiving potentially serial killer motherfucker like Brian shows it is utterly harmful.


I’ve lost track of how many people I’ve ditched because they write about “hating cishet white males” or other retardëd shit about white people neeing to be extinct despite being white people.


Since my government is spending taxpayer money on shitting up neighborhoods with filthy niggers and dysfunctional immigrants, and telling me I’m a bad person for wanting to spend time with people who look, and act like me, however few of them are left has made me decide to nope the fuck out of participating in “normal” society.
I’m proud to be doing shit that stays completely off the radar and will never let Facebook or any social media company know what my interests are or let them make money knowing how to brainwaah me better.
 
I didn't know where else to post this. But I think Hillsong has potential: https://hillsong.com/

A lot of people probably already know about it. But it's worth a mention anyway.

Hillsong is a cult disguised as a megachurch. It originated in Australia. The founder, Brian Houston, failed to report an incident where his father Pastor Frank Houston molested nine children. His first victim was 30 years ago. So he was abusing kids for decades.

https://www.theguardian.com/austral...still-preached-after-suspension-for-sex-abuse

Despite being suspended, Frank Houston was still preaching. He died in 2004. So he can't diddle kids anymore at least.

A pentecostal pastor who abused up to nine children decades before he made a confession was still preaching one week after he was supposedly suspended, it has been alleged at the royal commission into institutional responses to child sexual abuse.

Frank Houston, who died in 2004, confessed in 2000 to sexually abusing a boy in New Zealand more than 30 years earlier, referred to in this week’s hearing as AHA. He was sacked by his son, Brian Houston, the high-profile head of Hillsong Church, who was then national president of the Assemblies of God, a worldwide grouping of pentecostal churches.

The royal commission is examining the responses by the Sydney Christian Life Centre and Hills Christian Life Centre (now Hillsong Church) and Assemblies of God in Australia (now Australian Christian Churches), as well as individual executives, to the allegations against Frank Houston.

The public hearing in Sydney on Wednesday heard that Barbara Taylor, a former pastor at the Emmanuel Christian Family Church, had many concerns over how the Assemblies of God were responding to the allegations. Taylor was told of the allegations by the victim’s mother in 1998, and she reported it to church leaders.

The Assemblies of God executive began investigations – later discovering a further eight alleged victims of Frank Houston – but decided not to make them public, telling its churches in a letter from Brian Houston there was “no reason” for it to be announced as others may use it to further their agendas.

In June 2000, six months after the Assemblies of God national executive had endorsed the suspension of Frank Houston in a special meeting at Sydney airport’s Qantas lounge, Taylor wrote to Brian Houston expressing her concern that nothing seemed to have been done.

She had been told that one week after Brian Houston said he would stand his father down, Frank Houston was seen “preaching and prophesying over people in Canberra”, on morning television, and that his name was on a Hillsong brochure.

Taylor said Brian Houston was hurt by her letter and told her he had dealt with the matter but she just hadn’t been told.

“Had I been told he had dealt with it, I wouldn’t have written the letter. But I thought things were just going on as normal, and I didn’t think that wasn’t proper,” Taylor told the commission.

Brian Houston was “really angry” in the phone call, she said, and told her that his father had been abused as a child. He also offered to set up a meeting between Taylor and his mother – who Taylor had preached with – but it never happened.

Counsel assisting the commission Simeon Beckett also took Taylor through notes of a meeting she’d had with John McMartin, the state president of the Australian Christian Churches NSW, Brian Houston and herself at the Hills Christian Life Centre in November 1999, prior to the national executive deciding to take action.

At the meeting Taylor learned that Frank Houston had confessed, but to a “lesser incident”, said Taylor. She said she assumed this confession was made to Brian Houston, as she’d been unable to get anything.

Brian Houston told her he was in shock, and that he would check with his children that “grandad” had never touched them, Taylor alleged.

Brian Houston told her “in passing” that the confession amounted to a one-off incident when “AHA, as a little boy, had just walked through the room without his clothes on,” Taylor alleged.

“But that wasn’t what I’d been told [by AHA’s mother],” she told the hearing. Nor did she believe that it was just one incident.

“I thought that perhaps his father had trivialised the incident to Brian,” said Taylor later under questioning.

When asked if she queried what role Brian Houston had in the investigation and response to the allegations, Taylor responded: “Brian wouldn’t explain his role to me. I’m just a little village pastor. He’s one of the biggest pastors in Australia.”

She said she thought the national executive should be in charge but it wasn’t her place to tell them so.

She was “overawed” and just glad that something was going to be done.

On Wednesday Taylor also told the commission that shortly after she learned of the allegations she spoke with AHA and told him she would stand with him if he went to the church but not if he went to the secular court.

“I felt the church should discipline Frank Houston and stand him down immediately and then go to the secular courts. I felt the church had a responsibility to clean up its own house.”

She said AHA was horrified to think anyone knew about the abuse, however she later said she felt his concern was for public embarrassment and exposure, not that he wanted nothing done about it.

“He wanted the church to be a good samaritan,” said Taylor.

“It seemed to mean a lot to [AHA] that Frank Houston would apologise and be really sorry for what he did.”

However Taylor said after Frank Houston apologised, she believed “AHA was convinced in his mind, his perception was it was just crocodile tears”.

Shortly before she was excused by the commission, Taylor said that as a pastor, dealing with a complaint such as this “you can’t talk to anybody, you’re carrying all this around inside”.

“I don’t think there’s any provision made for that. As a matter of fact, you’re made to feel like a bit of a troublemaker.

“I hope that from this royal commission will come some guidelines that can be given to institutions about how to handle these particular cases because when they’re put on your table … there’s an area you haven’t handled before and you try to do your best.”

On Tuesday the royal commission heard Frank Houston offered AHA $10,000 in compensation because he didn’t want the incident hanging over his head when he “stood before God”.

AHA alleged that when he called Brian Houston because the cheque had not arrived, the pastor told him: “You know it’s your fault all of this happened – you tempted my father.”

In a statement outside the royal commission Brian Houston denied the accusation.

The hearing continues.

At the time Brian Houston was the president of Assemblies of God. You may have seen churches with that title in the name. It's a worldwide Pentecostal network. A pastor from Emmanuel Christian Family Church was upset at the way Houston was handling the claims of child sexual abuse. Essentially Brian covered for dear old dad, made excuses for his behavior, and allowed him to preach around children putting them in danger. Brian proceeded to blame the first victim for his own abuse. Saying that it was all his fault because he tempted Frank. Real stand up guy. Great pastor right? Blaming victims for their own abuse they suffered as children. I am not sure if Brian is also a kiddie diddler. But the church is very popular with youth and that popularity has been helped by the sheer amount of teen idols, former and present, that have joined the Hillsong. So it's frightening to think what could still be going on.

That brings us up to the Bieb himself. Who is very close friends with US Hillsong bigshot pastor Carl Lentz. He has been very close with Justin Bieber since the Beebz was 14. If you recall, earlier this year Bieber cancelled the remainder of his world tour. The reason? The Hillsong cult was a' callin'.
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/enterta...stin-bieber-apologizes-for-tour-cancellation/
After abruptly canceling the remainder of his "Purpose" world tour Monday, Justin Bieber apologized to fans and sort of explained why he decided to take a break. "I love you guys," he said of his Beliebers, while speaking to a Splash News photographer (via TMZ). "I think you guys are awesome. Sorry for anybody who feels disappointed or betrayed. It’s not in my heart or anything. And have a blessed day." Asked by the photographer if something was going on, Justin noted that he'd been on tour for two years and said, "Everything's fine." He also said he plans to use the time off for "resting, getting some relaxation" and riding bikes.

Justin's manager Scooter Braun commented on the cancellation via Instagram and asked fans to respect Justin's decision to take care of himself. "To those that won't be able to see it...on behalf of myself, Justin, and the team, we are sorry," he wrote. "That was never our intent. But a man's soul and well being I truly care about came first and we must all respect and honor that. Justin will be back and I know he looks forward to performing for you and with you all again. One chapter ends and another begins."

Sounds culty to me. Most artists just cite exhaustion or something.

In fact, it's all just a bit too creepy.

http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_facto...in_bieber_would_become_the_tom_cruise_of.html

He’s no Christmas-and-Easter dilettante who just drops by services for the Instagram opportunities. According to Taffy Akner’s touching 2015 profile of the church in GQ, Bieber has been involved with Hillsong for at least seven years now, and it seems to have brought him genuine comfort in times of bewilderment, exhaustion, and jackassery. (The piece, worth reading in full, opens with the line “What if I told you I had a Justin Bieber story that would break your heart?” and does not disappoint.) Akner also suggests that Bieber’s connection to the church is as personal as it is spiritual. A few years ago, Bieber moved in with Lentz and his family for about six weeks during a rough patch, and he’s been photographed leaving a nightclub with another Hillsong leader. A few days before he canceled his tour this week, he gave a goofy interview in which he rested his head on Lentz’s shoulder. “I just want to love people more,” he said. “I just want to love Carl more.”

Carl claims to not support the gay lifestyle or same sex marriage. But he won't try to push anyone away from the church. But he's so close to Bieber that you've got to wonder if he's in the closet.

This is Carl Lentz's instagram, where he posts a lot of weird photos of himself with a completely blank expression: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/
It's seriously creepy. His kids will be smiling and Carl will just be staring at the camera stone faced.

lentz.png


On the rare occasion when he does smile he looks like a total creeper. The stupid hair doesn't help.

Here's some interesting info from Cosmopolitan of all places: http://www.cosmopolitan.com/enterta...lennial-church-celebrities-bieber-carl-lentz/

He played college basketball and enjoys preaching to athletes because he understands them. In 2015 he was an assistant to the Knicks in house pastor.

Through Carl Lentz’s friendship with Judah Smith (the City Church pastor who counts Russell Wilson as a follower), he became more immersed in the sports and celebrity world, which led to him meeting Justin a decade ago. On Oprah’s SuperSoul Sunday (Gayle insisted O have him on), Lentz recalled a late-night call from Bieber, who was anxious to be baptized. After being chased from four different spots by paparazzi, Lentz and Smith baptized Justin in NBA star Tyson Chandler’s bathtub (as Lentz explained to Oprah, the baller has custom 7-foot tubs). Since the recent Purpose World Tour cancelation, Justin and Carl have seemed inseparable, even in style: nerd glasses, basketball-style athleisure wear, hoodies, and expertly groomed facial hair have these two majorly #twinning.

I am seriously weirded out by this. There's no way that Hillsong is 100% kosher. Lentz is a weirdo who was running from place to place desperately trying to baptize an anxious to be indoctrinated Bieber and finally setting on an NBA star's giant bath tub. Seriously? If you've ever wondered why the Biebster has been acting so weird recently... Well this is why.

Although Hillsong welcomes everyone it looks like it attracts a ton of celebrities. I'm not going to go as far as to say it's the next Scientology. But it's got it's own creepy ass cult vibe going. Other celebrity attendees include Selena Gomez, Kourtney Kardashian, Hailey Baldwin, Vanessa Hudgens, Hailee Steinfeld, Nick Jonas, Kendall and Kylie Jenner and a bunch of NBA players.

Basically, if you are a teen idol or a Kartrashian you are probably a Hillsong member.

Some celebrities might just be appearing for the notoriety of it. Because everybody who's everybody to the tween and teen crowd seems to attend services. But the weird cultish vibe and Bieber and Lentz being practically sewn together makes this particularly disturbing. At least the Kabbalah fad was more about showing off your bracelet like it was a Members Only Jacket.
 
So, there's this woman who's been sperging about how much she hates waitstaff, going off on weird, long rants about food service etiquette, with random bold words, asterisks and ALL CAPS all over the place, all topped off with a weird fixation on ranch dressing. She goes by the same name everywhere, Springs1, and her screeds really need to be seen to be believed. I wrote her off as a troll at first, but if she is, she's very dedicated since she's been at it for over ten years.

https://www.reddit.com/user/Springs1/
https://springs1.livejournal.com/
https://www.blogger.com/profile/16330862403978274454

Screen Shot 2017-12-09 at 10.19.51 PM.png
 
Unable to shitpost on Everyblock, having lost shitposting outlets like Dnainfo, unwelcome in neighborhood subreddits, FGFM aka Brian has made his own subreddit:
https://www.reddit.com/r/FGFM/

I feel a murder/suicide is in the works. Probably his fat bitch wife, Stacey.
 
I recently came across something called Señor Penguin's Mafia. As one might expect, it is full of LOLRANDOM ACCESS HUMOR and autism. The art style is rather reminiscent of our very own Christian Weston Chandler...

book1pg01.jpg



Book10pg38.jpg


There's a fuckton of this stuff. And it's unreadable. But it's autistic af. I'm not sure that he is really a cow, per se, there's not the part of him reacting and being trolled and so forth, but I post primarily as an interesting parallel to Chris (I'll get to that later...)

As described by the author:

Senor Penguin is a nonsensical, random-event cartoon. It combines all of the random logic in the universe and crushes it into a small comic book size. The first couple of episodes are not too well thought out, because I was thirteen at the time (seventeen now) and ....lets say...my thoughts weren't well organized. Otherwise, things work out well in later episodes. Spell Checks came later. And just for you anti-pokemon fans, Pikachu dies in every episode.

The wording is very Chris-like, lacking only in the Capitalizations, except for the one in the second-to-last sentence. And, well, the last sentence, is just as exceptional as the idea of an electric hedgehog pokemon tbhph.

The autism is fucking strong strong with this one. And numerous CwC-parallels, or rather, the archetypical autist artist.

Website: http://senorpenguin.com/
Archive: http://archive.is/3FZK5

It appears to be long abandoned, and comes with the obligatory 'tistic DO NOT STEAL COPYRIGHT, which notes the dates not once but twice:

Copyright Sherwoode Grosvenor ©1999, ©2000, ©2001, ©2002, ©2003, ©2004 - All images and concepts are the property of Sherwoode Grosvenor and are for the personal enjoyment of persons viewing his web site. These images and concepts may not be reproduced or distributed in any way without the express written permission of the author. Senor Penguin ©1999, ©2000, ©2001, ©2002, ©2003, ©2004

I thought it might be completely dead, but no, there are traces online...the autist responsible seems to have not altogether so long ago joined Twitter, although is not active there. 15+ish years after shitting out the original piece of fantastic 'tizzim-jizzim, he's still at it.

https://www.facebook.com/sherwoode Yep, he's got a Facebook, which is, as you would imagine, full of, well, you can imagine.

He's like Chris, but more benign, and without the love-quest shit, just spastic-fantastic-tistic-tastic RANDOM ACCESS HUMOR all over the place (I haven't been able to make it through more than a couple pages) ... seems fairly harmless. But it is very Chris-like in it's artistic sensibilities.

Sherwoode*, perhaps, what Chris would have been had he had a better adjusted family. It is almost like a "separated-at-birth" study.


He even looks like OPL, my goodness:

415644ab9b4f5483fb10838e63ddf61d7c568f51


*I think having an exceptional name, and an exceptional spelling of the exceptional name on top of that, predisposes on to exceptionality, especially as it'd take exceptional parents to name their child "Sherwoode" in ~1985 knowing what kind of time it would give him on the playground.

Well, after a childhood no doubt full of exceiptionalism, he is still making exceptionally autistic art, now on facebook, and sperging about movies and videogames. He is a member of a group called "NYC Gaymers."

RECENT art--included especially because of his apology for his 'tistic penguin art:


db67b0ef89a48e10a04491156451dbd0b487c046

(Would he really able to be properly considered a sperg without some big old anime titties somewhere?)

This is almost certainly an individual who could warrant a thread's worth of sperging about his sperging. But again, I'm not sure he meets the specific definition of a cow.
 
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Decimator Omega, otherwise known as Deci to those around him, was an obscure lolcow on a backwater splinter site of bungie.net that often cyclically comes and goes after being made fun of for being an idiot. He'd constantly freak out over trivial shit like a joke or someone mirroring a video of his. I've taken quite a few screenshots of his antics over the years.


The context of this screencap is that he told the user Camnator about another user being a tranny, which Camnator then proceeded to tell the entire website.
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I found another nutcase blog on LSA: https://www.lipstickalley.com/xfa-blogs/justme00.183246/

I think she's schizophrenic or something.

https://www.lipstickalley.com/xfa-blog-entry/eye-is-like-a-spirit-fingerprint.5577/

Even Jaden Smith can't top this one.

Its how they trace, and track you.
They meaning the Gods.

If you have no eye than are you free from bad God things like one of them judge you and send you back as a bag of chips?

How do the ones with no eye exist? Its like being born without spiritual fingerprint.

This is increasingly scary.
Cthulu. End ramble.

https://www.lipstickalley.com/xfa-blog-entry/oh-the-black-elephant-is-that-hair-in-my-bag.5576/

I think she's talking about animism here. Her hair has a spirit? Or the weave she got from India? No idea.

What religion is it again where everything has spirit to it?
I think I understand. Creepy and no thank you.

Don't wear weave.
I just put 2 and 2 together. That black elephant is not a God pillar elephant. Its this hair I threw away. Something black that has memory, and come from India. Creepy. Either that or some spirit saw me throw the hair away and thinks I should have kept it. That i should have been slaving over that yak tangled mess to get it back straight.

I could be reading it wrong. Something black, with a faint spirit, which hold memory.
Anyway equals 3, om, and all that jazz.

https://www.lipstickalley.com/xfa-blog-entry/black-elephant-with-like-chalk.5575/

Here's the black elephant again. Her dreams come from the world of the dead because the third eye is you in death? She's got vikings and elephants with bad eyesight contacting her.

Dream opening: me. Yes ill bite. My spirit is sending me dreams from dead world. Supposedly your 3rd eye is just dead you. Mines ain't hardly working or is under duress or is funny.

Anyway, someone said something about pit bulls. Kept mentioning it.
Then someone was in a dark room and said the words I love you.

Then maybe Viking spirit (maybe)! They seem to be touchy if misnamed.
Then black elephant with weak eye and writing fhalk like a pink lotus flower then something in green. Weak eye, weak or hurt spirit maybe. Black coloring was weird, not black. Off black.

Was that one of the alleged God pillar elephants? I'm assuming black color for space. I am confused as to what is believable and possible and what is impossible.

If I think with my masculine side, I accept a spirit dimension, then immediately want to know how and why, mostly how. How is any of this feasible, sane, or logical?

https://www.lipstickalley.com/xfa-blog-entry/dream-finished.5555/

My favorite!:lol:

A glowing white sky with a tree.
The eye on some maxi pads.

A man in a nazi outfit. He was playing with a ball or a baby.
A Japanese anime girl with the pet from Gremlins.

An eye of a very green alligator

A pair of young eyes.

https://www.lipstickalley.com/xfa-blog-entry/dream-a-smiling-man.5554/

Her dreams are monitored by controller spirits. They keep erasing memories of her dreams.

And Michael Jackson is a God now apparently. You can become a God in the afterlife by selling lots of records.

dark skinned Mexican. He was smiling a big grin, but I already forget face.
Then a white male who chose to appear with a fade. His face was covered and he had green pants on with a white stripe.

A light skinned person who look androgynous with closed eyes and a sweater that said Merry Christmas. It may have said something else but my dreams are closely monitored by 'controller' spirits who erase things.

Too hard to know truth from absolute lies so ill refrain from naming spirits. I'd be guessing anyway.

also important, woman outside said omg and a man next door apt screamed maybe 30 mins ago

Edit: I almost forgot - there are bad spirits with all red eyes which appear faintly. Unlike the human spirits, they appear very briefly sometimes in the blink of an eye. I cannot tell if they are demonic jinn, or imaginations come to life via interfacing with spirits in the 5th dimension.

Ps. That light skinned person looked tired. It may have been the spirit of Mj.

P.p.s. Why did Mj have a statue of him in Gold? Is he automatically a God in the afterlife on account of him selling all those records?

Who here has heard of Elohim? Somebody mentioned him on Glp. He come off as a strong God of vengeance. I asked this guy about him maybe a month ago - he cut me off abruptly saying Oh I don't know nothing about that.

If Jesus is our advocate and considered safest for humanity(spirits included) why than is there even talk of other Gods?

Edit: changed title. I don't want to assume anything



https://www.lipstickalley.com/xfa-b...rning-up-b-c-some1-stole-a-lot-of-money.5514/
She entered the phantom train.

A lot of crazies obsessed with Chris Cornell after his suicide. Like Neon Phoenix.

Dreams last night:
eye in pyramid surrounded by black encased in Gold.
A flattened clown that looked like an evil skate fish in the refrigerator. Thats easy, a spirit or God thinks I've been eating like a clown.

Next, a brown skull, with only the right socket displayed no eye.

Final one and this one's key. I was on a train sitting in the back. This guy with a kind of mushroom top for dreads was talking to me and for some reason we were both talking about how much we liked rock. Lit's Completely miserable was playing. He sang the chorus. Then I told him about audioslave and then I was like Chris Cornell is hot and this completely killed the conversation. First off, I would have not had the conversation in person on a train. 2ndly, we were both black, we both like rock, I thought we could idk go out. Then I ruined it with the audioslave bit. Lame.

Anyway, I was thinking about death the other day for a possible story. I was thinking about the boat ride some are said to take during passing. I wonder if they are saying its no longer a boat ride, its now a train ride to afterlife.

Anyway, just some fun to read through. It goes on and on like this. I wonder what she's like in real life. I'm sure it's a trip.
 
I have been doing some more research into my first real person of interest, the aforementioned Sherwoode "Senor Penguin" Grosvenor. I have come to the conclusion that he is actually quite relevant to Chrischanology, because he is essentially a Chris-Chan analogue, only he was raised in a well adjusted and loving family (his parents sell real estate together and have 5 star reviews online) and was clearly in a supporting environment. He went to something called the Woodhall School, which is apparently an all-boys spergatory that is modeled after a New England Prep school and tries to look like one, but is, indeed, a spergatory. http://woodhallschool.org/students-at-the-woodhall-school-are/ I don't know if they have full time tard wranglers or whatever but I've looked into some of the other connected persons and they are to a single one exceptional as fuck. But this Woodhall School is no doubt extremely expensive and is run by people who probably know how to help spergs self-actualize or whatever, and it has this extremely bizarre vibe of looking like a serious prep school while being a school for exceptionals. But anyway, this probably helped him get a leg up in life, and if he was applying for a job, he could pretend it was a prep school, although his sperginess would no doubt shine through in an interview. But anyway, he was given lots of opportunities in life.

His facebook is full of Star Wars sperging at the moment

A car ride back from Boston, and I'm going to say I'm disappointed majorly in the Last Jedi.

And that's a rarity coming from me! I don't even hate Age of Ultron or Kingsman 2, despite them both being flawed films. But Last Jedi? I just felt let down.
To get the good out of the way, yes it's well acted, yes it's very well shot, and yes there are good moments.
But the film is just rambling! There's a good 20 minutes devoted to this Casino planet that goes nowhere. There's a whole entire setup that ends up going nowhere (yes, I know that ties in with one of the many, many themes of the film, but it felt way too long a setup for a meandering payoff) and worst of all, almost all the intrigue moments of the Force Awakens have VERY weak resolutions! Like, go on. What are your MAJOR moments of The Force Awakens you have questions about? Hint: They end up not mattering at all.
I just feel incredibly let down. I feel like this is a film that set off their fireworks too early but lacked the heart behind it all.

It's gonna bother me.

Also, there's an INSANELY goofy scene in there that just....it's weird. You'll know EXACTLY what the scene is when you see it. It's...weird. Very, very, VERY weird.
A car ride back from Boston, and I'm going to say I'm disappointed majorly in the Last Jedi.

And that's a rarity coming from me! I don't even hate Age of Ultron or Kingsman 2, despite them both being flawed films. But Last Jedi? I just felt let down.
To get the good out of the way, yes it's well acted, yes it's very well shot, and yes there are good moments.
But the film is just rambling! There's a good 20 minutes devoted to this Casino planet that goes nowhere. There's a whole entire setup that ends up going nowhere (yes, I know that ties in with one of the many, many themes of the film, but it felt way too long a setup for a meandering payoff) and worst of all, almost all the intrigue moments of the Force Awakens have VERY weak resolutions! Like, go on. What are your MAJOR moments of The Force Awakens you have questions about? Hint: They end up not mattering at all.
I just feel incredibly let down. I feel like this is a film that set off their fireworks too early but lacked the heart behind it all.

It's gonna bother me.

Also, there's an INSANELY goofy scene in there that just....it's weird. You'll know EXACTLY what the scene is when you see it. It's...weird. Very, very, VERY weird.

He continues to post highly aspergated art, better than Chris, but with a very Chris like quality

24991035_792563125913_8703318187699985693_n.jpg


MOAR ANIME TITTEHS

25158308_793104890213_3732502803506730993_n.jpg


And the only person who comments on his art is his mother, primarily, and a few other relatives, all with the kind reassurance that only a loving family can give an autist. His mother's response to the above:

Is she a swimmer or a skater?

And he seems to have his group of spergy friends and his spergy routines, going to something called the "RHD Biz Baz" (I don't know how to link to this, I can't into facebook) which seems, well, I'm using these words too damn much, aspergated. He works retail, although coming from this very-upper middle class background, and lives close to his supportive family.

In short, he's as well adjusted as an autist artist can be. No tranny shit and I thought I saw something about "Gaymers" but now I can't find it and might be mistaken and the drawings of the anime tittehs might indicate HE IS STRAIGHT actually, but no girlfriend is evident. His friends list seems to be mostly pretty much on his level, or people he works with, or family, and a few genuinely PRETTY GIRLS who are probably NOT BOYFRIEND-FREE. Who are no doubt the kind of very nice people who will take a person like this under their wing.

In my imagination that I'm gathering of him he is probably a pleasant if bizarre person and an attentive but eccentric retail worker.

So in short, he is probably a rung higher than Chris neurologically, but he represents the fact that Chris was not entirely born, he was also made. Spergs are part of their environment.

Sherwoode is, therefore, if I may propose what might be a new term, an "anti-cow." He has all the ontological qualities that make cows but there's no dairy activity going on, because it was nipped in the bud. He had caring parents who DID get involved in the Greene County Conspiracy and got him early intervention. Early intervention is, after all, the name of the game in autism treatment. So he draws Senor Penguin autistically but Senor Penguin speaketh not unto him. And he is not a tranny.

He is the anti-cow.

So big ups to his parents and supportive environment and all that. And a big old >sadface to Chris's abhorrent upbringing, since we now have a prominent example of what happens when are a cow has been born but never made.
 
Haven't checked up on Gallantmon8/Ben and look what i found in his Twitter, 2 videos of himself reenacting 2 memes in an unfunny fashion. [Archive, which only captured the thumbnails of his videos]. Ben's reenacting of both is cringy then entertaining if you ask me. I won't go into details about my thoughts other then the fact that it makes you question why would a 25 year old man would post a video in his underwear for the world to see which reeks of :autism:, so i'll go ahead and share some moments captured via screenshots.

The first original video and the second he tried to reenact.
Here are both of his reenactments, enjoy.

Also, that is how he sounds. Not the first time i've heard his voice. It's hard to tell, but i swear he's sporting a rat's tail on his head which looks like a piece of plastic stuck to the back of his head. I will say that i have never seen a grown man have stickers on their door leading to their room. But hey, it must be his plan to get pussy from his non-existent wife.

d7130d45a12beb83773f9f070b2f034a.png

dd80d2556996284da62ba87833182313.png

56df24ad3592f7e531454370cdbf068a.png


A flat ass only a mother can love.
 
this was from subreddit drama, i didn't write this i just think its hilarious and want to share : )

The story begins here where GenderRevolutionary3 claims that he came to drama because a post from the sub hurt a friend of his. He continues to argue with users about using the word autism, to no avail. Shocked at the comments, he announces that he has reported the sub and it will be gone soon. He continues to gloat about the impending doom of the sub. Finding the response from drama's userbase... worse than he had hoped for, he tries to get help here. Finding little support, he decides to single-handily engage in a war to stop drama once and for all, here, here and here, as well as attempting to argue in more threads. Frustrated that instead of getting any meaningful responses from Drama users he is just getting demands to "show us your bussy" he tries once again to get help, with the expected results, in askreddit, TwoXChromosones and GamerGhazi.

Despite not getting any support in his threads, GenderRevolutionary3 seems confident that he has assembled an army, proudly boasting of drama's impending doom. Confident that allies will flock to his cause, he calls for aid all over Reddit.

feminism

radicalfeminism

shitredditsays

SRSDiscussion

SRSFeminism

socialjustice

radicalfeminists

genderqueer

ainbow

MtF

Meanwhile, drama has stickied one of his threads, and declared that GenderRevolutionary3 now runs the sub. Some users want him to become a mod, and others discuss some of his posts on other subs here.
 
Looks like the woman @Dysnomia linked to is coming around to the fact that she's nuts. This is the only post that seems to have a lot of comments on it, which surprised me. Most (sane) people were suggesting she call 911, go to the emergency room, etc for help. Then there's this one retard who thinks she can heal herself with the power of "da mind"

sick.png

no.png
 
Sherwin Shayegan, the piggyback bandit. He's an autistic man who got in the news for trying to get piggyback rides from high school athletes. Recently, he's been arrested for massaging a 14 year old without his consent. I don't know if he's a lolcow, but he's certainly weird.
Sherwin-Shayegan.JPG


http://grantland.com/features/on-trail-piggyback-bandit/
http://www.kansascity.com/news/nation-world/article192445704.html
https://thelibertarianrepublic.com/the-piggyback-bandit-strikes-again-heres-what-you-dont-know/

Here's his old Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sherwin.shayegan
http://archive.is/gQt0A
 
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Sherwin Shayegan, the piggyback bandit. He's an autistic man who got in the news for trying to get piggyback rides from high school athletes. Recently, he's been arrested for massaging a 14 year old without his consent. I don't know if he's a lolcow, but he's certainly weird.
View attachment 346795

http://grantland.com/features/on-trail-piggyback-bandit/
http://www.kansascity.com/news/nation-world/article192445704.html
https://thelibertarianrepublic.com/the-piggyback-bandit-strikes-again-heres-what-you-dont-know/

Here's his old Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sherwin.shayegan
http://archive.is/gQt0A
He's been mentioned around here somewhere, I think in orbit of Purple Aki discussion.
 
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Reactions: Fangsofjeff
https://twitter.com/theenctr/with_replies

This...this twitter was...quite an "encounter" indeed. Oh my.

My favorite thing about this guy is that he's so pathologically obnoxious he managed to get himself blocked by the entire FiXT music label.

Aside from that, he's your run-of-the-mill pretentious narcissist with an ego massive enough to have gravitational pull. Nothing too exciting on his instagram, but man, his twitter is a wild ride.
 
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Reactions: escapegoat
Here's one I found; Mr-What-Zit-Tooya.
id_by_mr_what_zit_tooya-dbyv2jj.png

He's 21 years old and ships himself with youtubers, as well as random fictional characters.
w h y.png
why.png
He has an entire folder dedicated to his weird self-insert OC that he puts into literally anything.
He's into a bunch of "fandoms" and I've heard he sends strange art requests to artists? I might have a screenshot, I'll have to check.
This guy seems pretty autistic but I haven't looked to see if he spergs enough or not, so probably not threadworthy. Still, he's been around for a while, so what do you guys think?

EDIT:
An example of one of his requests;
request.png
 
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