He's a lolcow because he's a fat fucking disgusting ass smelling, blob, cheese drinking, Crisco bathing, lard gargling, calorie thieving, cabbage patch face having, doctor Robotnik looking, won't stop eating, McDonalds gorging, T-Rex arm having, non-vegetable eating, cook out a George Foreman grill just to drink out the drip tray, wide load, hungry hungry hippo, planet, pretending to have a fucking thyroid problem, whale /free Willy, parked bus, Yokozuna, Flubber, Kirby, salad dodger, chair crusher, butter ball, go to Subway but put everything on it, Michelin Man, happy because Hostess is back in business.