Cryptocurrency Lolcows

  • 🔧 At about Midnight EST I am going to completely fuck up the site trying to fix something.
DragoonSierra said:
I thought dogecoin was a troll currency?
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Dogecoin actually was the most popular cryptocurrency on the planet at one point, which is hilarious when you remember that it started as a cryptocurrency that was basically worthless and you could make sarcasm donations with. No one took dogecoin seriously, and that was the fucking point. I know I was big on using it for just that purpose (and tipping Dogeweather).

At some point or another, through its pretty large userbase, the inevitable happened and people got dollar signs in their eyes trying to exploit Dogecoin like it was going out of style. Several Kiwis (especially @Solzhenitsyn) can cover what happened with the deranged mental-patients that got in charge of it and proceeded to, in their inevitable greed, dumpster fire the entire thing. It got completely blasted, is now in like 8th place or so, and it's pretty much returned to being a troll currency, so in the end, everything sorta balances out.

Dogecoin was #1 at one point though (mostly due to Bitcoin bottoming out), through the sheer power of nobody taking it seriously, however, and that's always going to be hilarious.

KmXWhdY.jpg


Dogecoin's been used in a lot of public works stuff and charity shit as well, so you sometimes see it in the weirdest fucking places. I remember reading about this one municpal water treatment plant that got paid for due to crowdfunding using Dogecoin. There's also been legit stories of people buying houses and shit with Dogecoin. Dogecoin also sponsored a NASCAR team, which resulted in one of the most surreal race cars I've ever seen.

Not bad for something completely retarded.
 
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So, @Jaimas, it turns out that those poor, naive souls at /r/dogecoin have been scammed by a beloved community figure again. This happened early last year, but I didn't hear about it 'cause I don't check /r/dogecoin very much any more.

/u/mohland was a guy who ran a bot that allowed users on Reddit to quickly transfer Dogecoin to each other via post, called "tipping". His bot arguably popularized the currency on Reddit.
One slight issue with this tipping: the bot gave each user an online wallet, and required the money to be drawn from there. To have money to tip required you to place your Doge in the online wallet, and any money you tipped would go to that other person's online wallet.
A sensible person would keep that wallet empty as much as possible, because online wallets are dangerous as hell.
Most people are not sensible.

/u/mohland, real name Josh Mohland, decided all of a sudden that creating a bot on Reddit meant he was a successful businessman. He started a company named Wow Such Business Inc (cringes). Even though his dogetipbot was free to use, he thought he could somehow monetize it. He hired employees and everything.
To the astonishment of nobody, his business failed spectacularly, he had to lay off all his employees, and was close to bankruptcy. So he decided that morals are for chumps and started funding his company by swiping Dogecoin from the online wallets in his care.

Like most Ponzi schemes, initially it looked like it was going to turn out okay. Dogecoin was in the toilet value-wise, so once he was out of immediate strife he must have thought he could put the money back no problem. Alas. The price of Dogecoin abruptly skyrocketed, meaning that the 106 million he took, which might have been only worth a few thousand at the time it was stolen, was now worth an incredible 1.6 million $US. Even worse, since Dogecoin was now valuable again, previously inactive users were returning to look for their wallets and loudly wondering where the money was gone.

He had to spill the beans, and did it with an awe-inspiring level of assholery by announcing that he took every last thieving red cent of Dogecoin from the wallets and set the bot to self-destruct. You will note that there is not a word of apology in that post, and indeed a sense of martyrdom; he blames "hackers" and /r/dogecoin's small outreach while patting himself on the back for "being transparent". Astonishingly, a large number of subscribers fell for his bullshit, and the mods, who are the same group of dickwits that white knighted for thief and rapist Moolah a few years back, stepped in to defend him. Later on, he would make another post where he helpfully suggested two options: he could pay a tiny bit of users' stolen money back, or he could pay none of it back. Not only did most of the comments go with option b, some were even offering to give him more money. The comments section appear to have been carefully pruned by the mods so that the only critical comments are made by one really angry guy. Or maybe /r/dogecoin really is that cucked.

As far as I can work out, Mohland did not pay a cent back, and has since deleted his account and attempted to disappear in the wind. Dogecoin has a new tipbot now and will probably be scammed again in the future. Such is life in cryptoworld.
 
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Solzhenitsyn said:
So, @Jaimas, it turns out that those poor, naive souls at /r/dogecoin have been scammed by a beloved community figure again. This happened early last year, but I didn't hear about it 'cause I don't check /r/dogecoin very much any more.

/u/mohland was a guy who ran a bot that allowed users on Reddit to quickly transfer Dogecoin to each other via post, called "tipping". His bot arguably popularized the currency on Reddit.
One slight issue with this tipping: the bot gave each user an online wallet, and required the money to be drawn from there. To have money to tip required you to place your Doge in the online wallet, and any money you tipped would go to that other person's online wallet.
A sensible person would keep that wallet empty as much as possible, because online wallets are dangerous as hell.
Most people are not sensible.

/u/mohland, real name Josh Mohland, decided all of a sudden that creating a bot on Reddit meant he was a successful businessman. He started a company named Wow Such Business Inc (cringes). Even though his dogetipbot was free to use, he thought he could somehow monetize it. He hired employees and everything.
To the astonishment of nobody, his business failed spectacularly, he had to lay off all his employees, and was close to bankruptcy. So he decided that morals are for chumps and started funding his company by swiping Dogecoin from the online wallets in his care.

Like most Ponzi schemes, initially it looked like it was going to turn out okay. Dogecoin was in the toilet value-wise, so once he was out of immediate strife he must have thought he could put the money back no problem. Alas. The price of Dogecoin abruptly skyrocketed, meaning that the 106 million he took, which might have been only worth a few thousand at the time it was stolen, was now worth an incredible 1.6 million $US. Even worse, since Dogecoin was now valuable again, previously inactive users were returning to look for their wallets and loudly wondering where the money was gone.

He had to spill the beans, and did it with an awe-inspiring level of assholery by announcing that he took every last thieving red cent of Dogecoin from the wallets and set the bot to self-destruct. You will note that there is not a word of apology in that post, and indeed a sense of martyrdom; he blames "hackers" and /r/dogecoin's small outreach while patting himself on the back for "being transparent". Astonishingly, a large number of subscribers fell for his bullshit, and the mods, who are the same group of dickwits that white knighted for thief and rapist Moolah a few years back, stepped in to defend him. Later on, he would make another post where he helpfully suggested two options: he could pay a tiny bit of users' stolen money back, or he could pay none of it back. Not only did most of the comments go with option b, some were even offering to give him more money. The comments section appear to have been carefully pruned by the mods so that the only critical comments are made by one really angry guy. Or maybe /r/dogecoin really is that cucked.

As far as I can work out, Mohland did not pay a cent back, and has since deleted his account and attempted to disappear in the wind. Dogecoin has a new tipbot now and will probably be scammed again in the future. Such is life in cryptoworld.
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And Dogecoin seems to have recovered, going over 1 cent recently. Kind of crazy.
 
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Why would he hire prostitutes if he was capable of eating his own dick?
 
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It might be smart to order one, even without the food and sell it to some stupid rich bitcoiner on eBay. Maybe the point is it's a snapshot of the price of BTC in a borderline pop-culture icon (the KFC bucket).

KFC Canada marketing team might have an idea there.
 
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millais said:
I don't know who this guy is, but he's doing the open mouth soyboy beta expression
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He's one of da BITKONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK cucks who lost tens of thousands of dollars.

At the very start of the massive 95% dip that destroyed BCC, he was so certain it would recover he poured in an ADDITIONAL $25k live on air to show viewers he was serious.
 
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Null said:
At the very start of the massive 95% dip that destroyed BCC, he was so certain it would recover he poured in an ADDITIONAL $25k live on air to show viewers he was serious.
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A fool and his money are soon parted. I just wish it was me doing the parting.
 
Bitcoin seems to attract the "get rich quick" folk too, well actually most of them.
 
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