I would like to cash in my :autism: credits to throw around speculation with wild abandon about Our Dear Leader's new beau. This is a long one so I hope you're willing to indulge me. I'll try to explain my reasoning as best I can, knowing full well how exceptional this makes me sound, but hear me out (hey, it's my birthday and I am bored, give me some leeway this once?) because I could be onto something... maybe... probably not.
We all know that Phil is a terrible liar and contradicts himself on a daily basis in both small and major events. We also know full well that his word means jack shit and his doubletalk semantics games renders anything he says virtually unbelievable. So at all angles, this guy can not be trusted (duh). With that in mind, listen to how he pushes this girlfriend angle as vehemently as he does. This is a conman at his best -- pushing a lie so fiercely that you question if he is actually telling the truth. Well, he might be for real, look at how he is always talking about her moving in and wanting to cook and clean... How could he lying if he is so sure of himself right?
At first, it wasn't Phil's intensity about this new girl that piqued my interest, but how confident he was being about future plans with her. When DSP is caught he tends to go wishy-washy. Eh life isn't so black and white, there are things you guys don't know, I can't talk about that yet, we'll have to wait and see... We've heard all the mantras over and over, but this time for this girl specifically, this guy has got PLANS. She's going to move in, she's going to cook, clean, suck his cock and join in videos like cooking with the king and all this great stuff. Hell, the moment she moves in he's putting her to work cleaning the house - because hey, she wants to guys! Could this be the flights of fancy of a love struck man alight with excitement for his soulmate to be with him finally? Maybe. But this is Phil we're talking about here. He can't even think of one single personable reason he loves her other than she wants to cook and clean for him.
So what gives? Why is he so confident? Why would Phil bring her up all the time but then chain her with strange caveats like "oh, she won't be streaming" and "she doesn't have any social media" and the like? It's odd, maybe too odd. It's too controlling. So I asked myself if this girl is a complete fabrication, but Phil needs to prove us all wrong about her, who will we see in February?
--- I believe if we see a girl, she will not be his actual girlfriend. She will be another hired escort or some paid woman to act as his girlfriend. ---
I know I sound idiotic, and I might be, but to me these pieces are starting to fit for now. I think this plan started to come together for him a little before he let the girlfriend bomb loose. Not to say all of the details were fleshed out but at this point he has had time to toy with the idea. Taking fake pictures and making phony twitter posts etc. The thought could easily occur to him that if these girl's are paid to keep their mouth's shut, then faking a girlfriend could work. It's not like anyone else lives with Phil 24/7 to disprove it. He has had experience working with escorts if the stories are to be believed. We know he hates woman, and needs total control of situations. We know he can't even be wrong and we also know that he needs to justify keeping a large house for himself, and that his tax situation seems to be completely under control (magically) for the time being. So he would have the means, motive, and method to make it look like he has a legit for real girlfriend without anyone being able to prove otherwise. Unless someone of course recognizes the actress or she goes on a Kimberley level blow out. I mean honestly, how will we know for sure?
All I know is I will be paying very close attention to certain details. Simply put, Phil will have to parade this girl around at some point to make it all legit. So expect at least one or two videos of the girl interacting with Phil. Whether that be another Valentine's Day reveal with ManBearPig, her swinging into a live stream for a little bit, or maybe a full on cooking video or something. Whatever fullfills these little plans he's so confident in announcing now. There will also most likely be photos posts and whatever lovey dovey crap that comes along with it to spread out over time. Okay cool, nothing unusual there. But then let's see how often she shows up or is brought up again. If this chick doesn't post on her own social medias, pop in randomly to say hi or remind Phil his stained undies are washed, or if they don't make any kinds of plans and just vanishes into the fog, I will start to question if this chick actually lives with him at all. One thing Phil loves to do is play pretend and try to pull a fast one on people. Am I stupid as hell for writing all this, absolutely. Is it totally beyond something Phil would do to be "right" and in control? Absolutely fucking not.
x3
