- Joined
- Nov 15, 2014
DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion
- Thread starter A Witty Name
- Start date
- Status
AmericFront
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Oct 20, 2017
International shipping is like 5-6 bucks for a game and no
BallBuster
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2017
Fuck him. I do giveaways for everyone (I have a few Canadian and British regulars) and I don't even have 100subs. I've done more giveaways in 6 months than he's done in 10 years.
- Joined
- Jan 1, 2018
Excuse me, Phil used to lift weights in college, was a bodybuilder and used to crush pussy all day every day. He is ripped under the layers of fat and grease. Please apologise and delete your post
- Joined
- Jun 23, 2015
Needs new clothes, no internet presence... Oh Jesus did Phil find a homeless junkie living in a cardboard box?
- Joined
- Nov 15, 2014
Its Jezals birthday and he gives phil 150 bucks in bits..
AmericFront
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Oct 20, 2017
He needs actual psychiatric help
- Joined
- Dec 21, 2017
- Joined
- Apr 9, 2017
He’s right.
Phil IS in dire straights.
That Gout ain’t gonna heal itself.
Keep going Jezal!
JackDavis
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jun 9, 2017
A PS4 that PandaLee didn't want. He milked subs for almost 4 months before giving it away.
- Joined
- Sep 30, 2017
God damn it Jezal! You could've wasted your money at a strip club or a bar for your birthday and enjoyed yourself, but no you just had to give it to some streamer that will forget what you did 10 seconds later. C'mon man
- Joined
- Jun 15, 2017
Happy birthday, Jezal. Maybe by your 24th birthday it'll be possible to wish you well without having to sigh heavily ahead of time.
- Joined
- Apr 24, 2016
- Joined
- Dec 21, 2017
There are several paths that this DSP girlfriend might take. After much time in my laboratory/basement, working with pie charts/pie tins/pie, raking over complex mathematical data, dietary needs, and consulting the space time continuum; also redistributing based off potential analytical drift/that stain on my ceiling that looks like a swan, I think I have plotted the most likely courses.
1. The girl is not real. This has already been beaten to death. DSP continues to insist how foolish we will all look when the girl proves to be real. If she's not real, we'll be treated to delays, vague pictures, and eventually ridicule by him for obsessing over the gf. If this route happens, then I think we'll all be a bit surprised. Not only because it'll be adding to @MysteryWoman 's credibility, but it will be subtracting from Phil's at this point. He's doubled down on this too much.
2. The girl exists. But she is an extreme shut in. I mean like, Amish with a side of chained in a basement shut in. Someone who sees two day shipping as a miracle of technology. Someone who would be impressed if she was dating a man who "Gets his money using the internet." This person would be so excluded from present day, a person you kidnapped from the 70s would seem more up to date. If you gave them a phone, they would think you had a magical brick that showed the time of day on it.
If the girl is real, there are only so many paths she can take.
3. Phil wins. In this horrible doomsday scenario, the girl never comes to her senses. So amazed by technology and somehow certain of her place serving the future-man Phil, she will never break his grip over her. She'll spend the rest of her days making microwave hot pockets or staring at the ice machine wondering how it works. As technology continues to evolve, Phil will put in a motion sensor camera and rig his computer to automatically upload his streams when the motion sensors are no longer triggered. Eventually Phil will die, and the girlfriend, having never learned how to use doors, will have to resort to cannibalism to survive. Many years later, a folk legend will surface involving Phil Burnell's last youtube video upload, a "DSP tries it" where a hunched, shadowy wisp of a woman eats something just off screen.
4. The girl breaks free. In this scenario, the girl comes to her senses and realizes that this technology-filled future wonderland is not for her. She runs away and eventually meets a Doctor Brown, who, inspired by her story and feeling sorry for her, returns her to the year 1890, where she meets a very nice Amish man and settles down. She never has to deal with technology every again. But she does tell of one piece of machinery that made her time with Phil somewhat bearable. A magical "rabbit."
5. Something else happens. Vidar might come calling for Phil one day, wearing a crimson wig. Perhaps a love triangle ensues. Whatever happens, Phil finds himself getting rid of the new girlfriend. She is sad for a time, until establishing a twitch channel where she chats with people while baking cookies (AND brownies. Can't forget those). Eventually, she rides the twitch train to stardom, and shits all over Phil. Phil finally drowns in his sea of salt.
These are the most likely scenarios. Your thoughts?
1. The girl is not real. This has already been beaten to death. DSP continues to insist how foolish we will all look when the girl proves to be real. If she's not real, we'll be treated to delays, vague pictures, and eventually ridicule by him for obsessing over the gf. If this route happens, then I think we'll all be a bit surprised. Not only because it'll be adding to @MysteryWoman 's credibility, but it will be subtracting from Phil's at this point. He's doubled down on this too much.
2. The girl exists. But she is an extreme shut in. I mean like, Amish with a side of chained in a basement shut in. Someone who sees two day shipping as a miracle of technology. Someone who would be impressed if she was dating a man who "Gets his money using the internet." This person would be so excluded from present day, a person you kidnapped from the 70s would seem more up to date. If you gave them a phone, they would think you had a magical brick that showed the time of day on it.
If the girl is real, there are only so many paths she can take.
3. Phil wins. In this horrible doomsday scenario, the girl never comes to her senses. So amazed by technology and somehow certain of her place serving the future-man Phil, she will never break his grip over her. She'll spend the rest of her days making microwave hot pockets or staring at the ice machine wondering how it works. As technology continues to evolve, Phil will put in a motion sensor camera and rig his computer to automatically upload his streams when the motion sensors are no longer triggered. Eventually Phil will die, and the girlfriend, having never learned how to use doors, will have to resort to cannibalism to survive. Many years later, a folk legend will surface involving Phil Burnell's last youtube video upload, a "DSP tries it" where a hunched, shadowy wisp of a woman eats something just off screen.
4. The girl breaks free. In this scenario, the girl comes to her senses and realizes that this technology-filled future wonderland is not for her. She runs away and eventually meets a Doctor Brown, who, inspired by her story and feeling sorry for her, returns her to the year 1890, where she meets a very nice Amish man and settles down. She never has to deal with technology every again. But she does tell of one piece of machinery that made her time with Phil somewhat bearable. A magical "rabbit."
5. Something else happens. Vidar might come calling for Phil one day, wearing a crimson wig. Perhaps a love triangle ensues. Whatever happens, Phil finds himself getting rid of the new girlfriend. She is sad for a time, until establishing a twitch channel where she chats with people while baking cookies (AND brownies. Can't forget those). Eventually, she rides the twitch train to stardom, and shits all over Phil. Phil finally drowns in his sea of salt.
These are the most likely scenarios. Your thoughts?
Christopher Alyre Fleming
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Aug 28, 2017
If I could just see a picture of King Jezal or hear his voice. I'm so damn curious.
- Joined
- Mar 26, 2017
I imagine him having a soft and whiny voice, he's just so passive. Poor guy, he seriously needs help, it's basically an addiction at this point
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
This is the voice I imagine whenever I read him claiming that he doesn't mind donating and that Phil needs it more than him.
StylishAcolyte
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2017
It's moment like these where i remember the wise words of Don King in Rocky V:
"...Only in America".
- Joined
- Nov 3, 2016
Dripping in soy
- Joined
- Jun 23, 2015
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