Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[RodgerDodger]

No wonder Bob is so skeptical of meritocracy, since in a meritocratic system, better film critics would have his job and relative popularity and Bob would be leeching off his brother even more than he does now. I can't imagine Bob working retail (by far the most likely job Boob Chimpman could ever hope to get), he'd be fired so fast due to his response to having to constantly interact with "inferior" people.

Apparently before landing his awesome gig as a basement dwelling cultural critic Bob was in fact a retail clerk in the DVD department of Best Buy or Circuit City or somesuch. He claims they fired him for doing his job too well or some similar shit. He blogged about it a bit back during his Escapist days. Much like his book, the takeaway for any actual reader is that Bob in person is an insufferable ass and a poor employee.

 

[Jetpack Himmler]

Much like his book, the takeaway for any actual reader is that Bob in person is an insufferable ass and a poor employee.

He probably got fired for eating on the job.

 

[Computery Guy]

Bob dressed as Mario. Jordan would dress as Columbia from Rocky Horror Picture Show. Yes, with makeup. Yes, he was that fat back then. Yes, it was horrifying.

Well, the mental image that gave me only deserves one, fitting quote.

"It's beyond me, help me, mommy!!!"

 

[Red Hood]

He probably got fired for eating on the job.

He probably got fired for telling some kid buying a COD game that the game directly caused 9/11 and that his parents were obsolete.

 

[Gordon Cole]

Y'know, why does he give Obama a pass for things Bush did?

Only superior men read the headlines and nothing else.

 

[Mola Ram]

Well, the mental image that gave me only deserves one, fitting quote.

"It's beyond me, help me, mommy!!!"

If he had dressed as Brad it would have been an immeasurable improvement.

I won't derail Bob's thread anymore with this, but Jordan has definite lolcow potential. I'm too biased to say for certain, though, and let's face it, all my stories about him are pretty antique at this point.

 

[A Random]

I don't want to hit you with a rating, since you don't know the dude ... but yeah, that doesn't begin to describe the depths of this guy's weirdness.

Bob dressed as Mario. Jordan would dress as Columbia from Rocky Horror Picture Show. Yes, with makeup. Yes, he was that fat back then. Yes, it was horrifying.

Who cares what he's like? I just thought his face and Blobbert's are only different because the fat fuck has a real mustache and not that Nostalgia Critic ripoff that makes his jowls melt when shaved.

 

[Jetpack Himmler]

He probably got fired for telling some kid buying a COD game that the game directly caused 9/11 and that his parents were obsolete.

Maybe we can meet half way and say he did it while holding a Big Mac.

Or we could assume he got caught spooning with a cardboard cutout of Peach Mario.

 

[The Wwwyzzerdd]

Or we could assume he got caught spooning with a cardboard cutout of Mario.

FTFY

 

[Gordon Cole]

A crossover with Noah Berlatsky.

Doubling down...

And Black Panther sperging.

 

[Adamska]

And Black Panther sperging.
View attachment 363471

Am I wrong for thinking there's little to no fucking hype for Black Panther? I haven't been getting much of it trailer or ad wise, and I think it's actually hiding more than Ghostbusters did. At least on the online front I should mention this; I've gotten less response from it than I did that fucking Maze Runner movie.

I think the only people who are hyped are ignorant folks like Bob, who wouldn't know a Black Bolt from a Black Manta or a Casablanca from a Caddyshack.

 

[Jetpack Himmler]

I have seeing a lot of Black Panther hype on my Facebook feed as of late, but I tend to get very skeptical the harder the marketing or the media pushes a film.

I think the only people who are hyped are ignorant folks like Bob, who wouldn't know a Black Bolt from a Black Manta or a Casablanca from a Caddyshack.

Agreed. I, for the life of me, cannot fathom why Bob believes that BP is on the level of Avengers in terms of importance. Avengers was an event because it brought the core heroes of the MCU together in one film. BP looks to be yet another MCU film that will mostly stick to the same tropes with an underwhelming villain who will probably bite it during the climax. The best explanation I can think about is Bob's orientalism towards minorities and he sees the film as yet another validation for his twisted worldview.

 

[Gordon Cole]

Honestly, go fuck yourself.

Yeah, fine, sure.

 

[Red Hood]

Maybe we can meet half way and say he did it while holding a Big Mac.

Or we could assume he got caught spooning with a cardboard cutout of Peach Mario.

That's the PG version of what they probably caught him doing with it.

"All the Marvel movies are about the corrupting influence of entitlement."

All the Marvel movies are about selling t-shirts and action figures. There's no higher message in them than "buy shit with our brand on it, you dumb kids". The good thing about any time Bob has a Big Mac in his sausage fingers is that he can't work a keyboard.

 

[RockVolnutt]

Agreed. I, for the life of me, cannot fathom why Bob believes that BP is on the level of Avengers in terms of importance. Avengers was an event because it brought the core heroes of the MCU together in one film. BP looks to be yet another MCU film that will mostly stick to the same tropes with an underwhelming villain who will probably bite it during the climax. The best explanation I can think about is Bob's orientalism towards minorities and he sees the film as yet another validation for his twisted worldview.

Same reason every sjw sperg is exicited. "Representation". They legit believe that "now the blacks have someone to look up to!" and young black children will be motivated to become successful instead of crooks or killing themselves. Black Panther is totally gonna lead to Detroit getting it's shit together in a generation!

 

[Flexo]

So I checked, and apparently twitchy was @Sexy Times Hitler 1.0 as they had a few tweets of Bob back in the day.

https://twitchy.com/brettt-3136/201...ehind-pro-gay-scouts-push-twitter-gets-tough/

https://twitchy.com/jimj-3633/2014/06/26/usa-vs-germany-at-the-world-cup-prepare-for-world-war-pun/

https://twitchy.com/jimj-3633/2014/...port-firefly-you-support-a-right-wing-racist/

Seems adam baldwin's replies are gone now, but this guy's burn was preserved:

 

[Mola Ram]

A crossover with Noah Berlatsky.

Honestly the most depressing thing about Bob (other than his convention appearances) is that some people read his vile fantasies and give him atta'boys instead of recoiling in horror. Imagine it, Kiwis: we're more humane than Bob's followers. (Ok, some of us are.)

And when he pisses on free speech, I have to remind myself not to A-log.

Yeah, fine, sure.

This is actually one of my favorite sets of tweets from him ever, because it manages to highlight both his hilarious obliviousness and his infuriating bias.

Check it, yo: he starts with his concluding premise (as most dishonest thinkers like Bob do) and marshals his arguments to support it; i.e., that Marvel movies are about overcoming entitlement and hey, here are my examples, along with some odd take on sibling rivalry. Except what he winds up doing, completely without realizing it, is making a pretty good argument that Marvel movies are nothing but half-bright, formulaic garbage. He has no idea that's what he did! It's perfect in its spergy beauty.

 

[iafiv]

What does afro-futurism mean?I'm curious to see if the Black Panther movie will be good but i have no idea what is so unusual about it as a movie.Its not the first black superhero movie anyone remember Blade or even that Meteor man movie?Still what does afro-futurism mean?

 

[Mola Ram]

What does afro-futurism mean?I'm curious to see if the Black Panther movie will be good but i have no idea what is so unusual about it as a movie.Its not the first black superhero movie anyone remember Blade or even that Meteor man movie?Still what does afro-futurism mean?

I almost ripped him on it, but it turns out it's a real thing. Black science fiction, basically.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Afrofuturism

 

[RockVolnutt]

Check it, yo: he starts with his concluding premise (as most dishonest thinkers like Bob do) and marshals his arguments to support it; i.e., that Marvel movies are about overcoming entitlement and hey, here are my examples, along with some odd take on sibling rivalry. Except what he winds up doing, completely without realizing it, is making a pretty good argument that Marvel movies are nothing but half-bright, formulaic garbage. He has no idea that's what he did! It's perfect in its spergy beauty.

I like how at the end he had to take a stab at comics by saying it's the reason the MCU is more successful than them. You know the comics he also claims you're Hitler for not buying even though he isn't buying either? Even if we accept that, the idea of not being self-centered has been part of capeshit for the longest time. "With great power there must also come great responsibility" and all that.

I don't know why you think that is the reason they have an audience.

What does afro-futurism mean?I'm curious to see if the Black Panther movie will be good but i have no idea what is so unusual about it as a movie.Its not the first black superhero movie anyone remember Blade or even that Meteor man movie?Still what does afro-futurism mean?

It means "It looks like Africa but in the future! This is what they can become!"